AN: This is an idea I gave had for a while and finally got around to it. I hope you like it. For fans of this story you are more than welcome to read the others. They are The Heart and Head Connection, Vegas is Forever, and of course Love and Marriage.
2 weeks later...
Jessi was sitting on the couch in the apartment, like she had done for the past two weeks, in the middle of the night, waken from a bad dream. Tony had been working late for the past two weeks since she wasn't sleeping in bed with him anyway and he couldn't sleep without her there. So he just figured it would be better to get some work done. So that left Jessi in the apartment, by herself, to remember everything that Rivera had done to her.
Jessi brought her knees up to her face. She could feel herself going into a slight panic attack. She didn't want to call Rachel this late at night. And she knew she could trust Tony, but every time she closes her eyes and feels the hairs on his chest, all she thinks is Rivera and the panic attack comes back. This is why she has just been sleeping on the couch, though not soundly, but she has tried. She wanted to have make love to her husband, she wanted to prove that she could still be sexy, still be with a man. But the more she tried that more she just had flashbacks of Rivera. Jessi could see that it was killing Tony that she would push away from him. She could see it in his eyes, but she could also see the understanding there as well.
Jessi heard the door knob rattling in the apartment. She ducked down on the couch and tried holding her breathe so that whoever was breaking in wouldn't hear her. She could hear the door open and feet walking across the floor. She closed her eyes tight and just focused on her breathing to make sure it wasn't too loud. Her heart was racing, she could hear it pounding in her ears. Jessi was so focused on her breathing that she didn't hear the person calling her name. She didn't realize he had walked over to the couch until he touched her foot and made her jump.
Different POV...
Tony had been fighting sleep at his desk and knew that Jessi would be going into a panic attack soon if he didn't get home so he decided to just give up on working for the night and go home. He made the trek up the million stairs (which he felt every bit of now). The past two weeks were warying on him. He didn't know how to help his wife and it was killing him. He (stupidly) figured that when she killed Rivera that she had let out her anger, but that was far from the truth. When they got home that night, she was worse for the wear.
Flashback...
Tony carried his weary wife up the stairs. She had fallen asleep in the car on their way home from the hospital. Tony knew that this all had taken a toll on her body. So he didn't want to wake her when they got to the apartment. He winced when she jumped at him grabbing her. Tony had reminded her that she was safe and that he was the one that had her. She seemed to settle down after that and she was soundly sleeping on his chest while he carried her up the stairs. Tony was glad to have Jessi back in his arms. He had almost lost her twice now since they had basically realized that they were in love with one another. He couldn't bear the thought of her not being her.
Tony finally reached the door to their apartment and tried to balance Jessi so that he could grab the keys and unlock the door without waking her. After about 2 minutes of fumbling he got the door opened and walked Jessi into the bedroom and placed her on the bed. Tony went to walk away to get ready for bed, but before he could get 3 steps towards the door Jessi started screaming.
"NO... Let me GO... Tony save me... HELP MEE!... Somebody please!" Jessi cried.
Tony rushed over to her and wrapped Jessi in his arms. "I'm here honey. I've saved you. You're save."
Jessi just cried into Tony's chest. "Make it go away, Tony. Make it go away."
All Tony could do was stroke Jessi's head.
End of flashback...
Tony sighed as he opened the door to the apartment. As he walked in he couldn't see his wife. He yelled through the apartment but heard no answer. When Tony finally reached the couch and saw Jessi in the fetal position, he Gibbs slapped himself. He should have known better than to not let her know that he would be coming home.
Tony calmly reached out and shook her foot. His heart broke when she jumped. Tony just decided that he would go and sit by her head to let her see that it was HIM instead of someone trying to get her.
"Jess," He sweetly stated as he storked her hair. "Open your eyes, honey. It's Tony."
Jessi jumped again as the person came to sit by her head. This is it. He's going to kill me. She thought. Then she felt a hand stroking her hair. "Jess," She heard. It sounded like Tony. But maybe she was just having a weird dream. "Open your eyes, honey. It's Tony."
"Ttt-Tony?" She stuttered.
"Yes, baby. It's me." Tony replied. "No one is going to hurt you."
Jessi slowing opened her eyes. She could see the OSU logo on the shirt and the grey sweatpants that Tony was wearing when he left.
"There's those beautiful hazel eyes." Tony soothed. Jessi jumped into Tony's arms and just cried. He kissed her on top of her head and ran his hands through her hair. "DIdn't mean to scare you."
"(sniff)... You didn't really... I was al- al- already scared before you ev (hiccup) en were coming in the door.(sigh)" Jessi sobbed.
Tony just nodded. "Do you wanna go to bed?"
Jessi shook her head. "Can (sniff) Can we just sttt-tay here fff-or a while?"
"As you wish." Tony whispered.
Next day...
Tony walked into the bullpen, dragging. He took the strength he had and flung his bag onto the desk. Ziva and McGee looked up at him.
"Rough night again?"McGee asked.
Tony looked over at him. "If you consider me scaring my wife for just walking into the apartment because she was already having a panic attack before I came home a rough night then, yes I had a rough night, McNosey."
"No need to snap on McGee, Tony. He is just as concerned about Jessi." Ziva stated.
Tony sighed. "Sorry, Tim. I just..." He was having a hard time finding the words. "She has..."
"Still not able to have sex?" Ziva finished for him.
Tony shook his head. "And she refuses to sleep with me in the bed." He rubbed his hand over his face. "I mean I don't want to leave her just laying on the couch because as soon as I go to walk away she has a nightmare. But I can't sleep on the couch with her."
McGee walked over to his desk. "Have you tried just making a pallet on the floor and sleeping with her there?"
Tony nodded. "The problem is not that she won't sleep in the bedroom. The problem is she won't sleep with me." He confessed. "She says that everytime she feels the hairs on my chest she thinks its him." Tony hung his head. "She used to be able to sleep soundly when I was there. No matter what I could always take away the nightmares. Which she is when I'm there its when she half awake that I freak her out."
McGee put his hand on Tony's shoulder. "I remember when Rivera first kidnapped her and she would sleep at my apartment after. The nightmares were horrible. The only thing I could do was hold her and let her cry."
"Yes, but it has always been different with me." Tony exclaimed. "Even when she came over when you two were dating she slept soundly and had no nightmares."
McGee removed his hand from Tony's shoulder. "When did she come over when we were dating?"
Tony mentally Gibbs slapped himself. He couldn't believe he just blurted that out. "Well, it was the night after Abby had slept at your apartment. I had run into her while she was leaving and I was paying attention to my pay check so I didn't see her and we just bumped into each other and fell on the ground. I felt so bad that I begged to make it up to her and she accepted we went to dinner and after I dropped her off I guess she had a nightmare and didn't want to be alone and so she called me to come get her and she slept at my apartment. Nothing happened besides sleep I swear. But..."
McGee pinched the bridge of his nose. "So you mean to tell me that before we even broke up you were aiming for her?"
Tony stood up and shook his head, with his hands in front of him doing the same. "No no no no no... I swear Tim I would never do that to you. I mean I will admit that I thought she was a good looking girl once she walked in the door, but I would never actually steal a girl from a buddy. I'm not that evil. I mean come on, McGee, you know how guilty I felt when she and I got married in Vegas."
McGee let out a heavy sigh. "You're right. And besides I went out for coffee with Abby that night so I guess I have no room to really talk."
Tony fell back into his chair with a sigh of relief. On top of everything going on with Jessi he did not need McGee being mad at him too.
Just then Gibbs did his Houdini thing and appeared in the bullpen. He looked to his senior agent and saw the weary look on his face. He knew how much Jessi not being able to really love him was getting to him. But he also knew that him hiding in the office wasn't going to help her come to her senses.
"DINOZZO..." He barked. Tony looked up at him. "I'm giving you the next two weeks off and I don't want to see you here until the second week has ended." When Tony went to speak Gibbs stopped him. "I will clear it with Vance and if you need any longer I will make sure you get it."
Tony looked at Gibbs confused. Gibbs just stared him down and he grabbed his stuff and left. "Thank you, boss." Is all he said as he made his way to the elevator.
"Tony!" Gibbs yelled before he got too far. Tony turned around. "Take it slow."
Tony nodded and got on the elevator.
At the apartment...
Jessi was sitting on the couch watching a movie, barely paying attention to it. She had been crying all day and was so emotionally drained that she was falling asleep when the phone rang.
"Hello..." She rasped.
"Hey honey it's Tony... Gibbs is giving me the next two weeks off I just wanted to let you know I was coming home before I got there so I didn't scare you again." Tony rambled off quickly.
"Why is he giving two weeks off?" Jessi asked.
"So I can spend it with you." He said sweetly. "I think we just need some us time. Whatever you want to do these next two weeks, we are totally gonna do."
"Even if I was wanna lay on the couch and watch Chick flix?"
"Even if you wanna watch Chick flix. But can I at least request to only watch classic chick flix? You know like An Affair to Remember, 16 Candles, Breakfast at Tiffany's, things like that."
Jessi giggled. "Deal."
Time elasped...
It wasn't long after Tony had called that he arrived back at home. He walked into the door and he could hear Jessi snoring on the couch. He gently walked over to the couch and picked up her feet, placing them in his lap and just watched her sleep. Tony couldn't imagine a more beautiful sight than sitting and watching his wife peacefully sleep. Well mostly peaceful, he could see the signs of nightmare coming on. Jessi's eyes were squinted slightly and her head began to toss. Tony just reached over and put his hand on hers. "Shh... its ok, honey. I'm here." He whispered.
Jessi shot up into a sitting position.
"You alright." Tony smiled at her.
Jessi rubbed her face. "Yeah, just a bad dream." She drew her knees closer to her body. "Now why do you really have two weeks off? Did you punch someone in the office?"
Tony laughed. "No, Gibbs just told me that he was giving me two weeks off. More if I needed it."
"So he didn't give you an explanation just told you that you had two weeks off?" Jessi quizzed, raising an eyebrow.
Tony just nodded.
"Hmm. Ok, so about those chick flix..."
3 Days Later...
Jessi and Tony had been staying in the apartment, watching movies, just basically spending time with one another. Right now they were sitting and watching Some Like It Hot. Tony had been trying to take it slow and not rush Jessi into trying anything that had to do with sex, but he was a man and had needs. He didn't know what to do, so he decided to call someone who had been through the same thing with Jessi (well in a way), McGee. He walked into another room and dialed McGee's number.
"Special Agent Timothy McGee..."
"Hey McStudmuffin... How's it going there without me?" Tony replied.
"Tony why are you calling? Gibbs said to stay away from the office for 2 weeks." McGee retorted.
"I am staying away from the office. And I really didn't call to talk about work so you won't be in trouble for talking to me I actually just wanted to know if you could give me some advice as to how to treat this whole Jessi thing, since you know you kinda went through it before?" Tony got out in one breathe.
McGee snorted. "You're calling me on how to score with a woman?"
"I should reach through this phone and Gibbs slap you." Tony countered. "I know how to score with a woman, I just need your advice on how to proceed with Jessi."
"Well you see I wasn't really in the same boat as you. I think she just wanted to be with me because I was the only one there when she felt scared. You at least have a real relationship with her." McGee admitted.
"I know that, McObvious." Tony snarked. "Can you just help me know how to treat this please?"
McGee sighed. "Have you tried letting her starting it instead of you? I mean let her take the lead. She still loves you we all know that. Abby and I can see when we are over. You just need to let her come to you about it."
Tony thought about this for a second. It made a lot of sense. "You know what that might just work. Thank you, McGenius. You never fail to amazing me."
McGee laughed a little. "See you, Tony. Enjoy your time with, Jessi. Give her our love."
"Will do." And with that he hung up.
Walking back into the living room, Tony really took a look at his wife. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He could tell just the 3 days they had spent together was doing wonders for her. She didn't have to feel the pressure of going to work just so she wasn't alone. Besides, he thought he was doing a good job in bringing out the fun Jessi that he married. There was a time or two he wanted to just pick her up, throw her on the bed, and having his way with her. Tony loved it when she laughed. And there was one time when she had pizza sauce on her cheek, then she licked it off... Tony was about to explode his pants. Jessi was always sexy to him. No matter what. When she was just wearing that Ludo t-shirt and jeans when she first walked into NCIS. And then that time he walked into the lab and she was in her spaghetti strap shirt and her jeans gapping and he could see her thong... Oh that just put chills up his spine when he thought about it. But he was determined not to scare her. Determined to go ahead and let her take the lead on this. Jessi was the one that needed to heal so he was going to let her.
Tony walked over to the couch and just sat by Jessi. The movie was ending and it was at the part where Joe E. Brown and John Lemmon were on the boat and John Lemmon reveals that he is a man.
"Well, Nobody's perfect." Jessi quoted. She then let out a little giggle.
"I love to see you smiling again, hun." Tony mentioned as he casually put his arm on the back of the couch.
Jessi looked over at him. "Feels good to be laughing." She then looked down. "Sorry I have been such a pain the past few weeks."
Tony gently reached over and placed his thumb under her chin, making her look up at him. "You my dear are no pain." He assured her. "And besides, you got me 2 weeks off of work."
Jessi smiled. "Thank you, Tony." She reached up and grabbed his hand and placed a small feather light kiss, just to prove that she could.
Tony smiled at her. "You're welcome." Just that slight brush of a kiss, he had to calm himself down. This was not about him. This was about Jessi.
Later that night...
Tony and Jessi were sitting on the couch watching a movie, well Tony was watching Jessi was sleeping on his shoulder. After their talk earlier Jessi had been leaning into Tony more. She'd still jump when he'd put his arm around her but would lay on his shoulder instead of across the couch.
Right now, Tony didn't want to move her because she was finally sleeping soundly next to him, but he knew he could not sleep in this position all night. So he gingerly, or thought it was gingerly, tried to get out from under her.
"Where are you going?" Jessi sleepily asked.
"Going to bed, I love you I'm sorry but..." Tony started to say.
Jessi held up her hand interrupting him. "Ok, we can go to bed."
Tony looked shocked as she stood up from the couch and went to walk towards the bed room. "You coming?" Jessi turned and asked, eyes barely open.
Tony shook his head to get himself back to reality. "Yes ma'am. Right behind you."
The next morning...
Jessi took in a deep breathe. She smelled something she had smelled in a long time, Giorgio Armani Acqua di Gio. Which so happened to be the cologne her husband would wear. It was surrounding her. She snuggled into the warmth that she was feeling and something tickled her nose. Jessi wiggled her nose as something just kept attacking it. She brushed her hand up to move whatever was annoying her, but she was stopped by a solid figure next to her. Jessi heard an "Omph" as she swatted at what was annoying her nose. She felt a very hairy chest, and she began to shake. He's here. He stole Tony's cologne. She thought. Jessi didn't want to open her eyes for fear of confirmation that it was Rivera that he had come after her. She then just went her instinct and start punching.
Switch POV...
Tony loved waking up with Jessi in his arms again. When she inhaled deeply he knew she was beginning to wake up. Then she snuggled into him. He even took a deep breathe, inhaling her wonderful scent. Oh, how he'd missed this. Just then Tony could feel Jessi wiggle her nose. He was confused and then he thought of where her nose was. Might need to trim a bit. He thought. Just then she swatted him, hard. An "Omph" involuntarly came out. Then he felt Jessi start to shake, then minutes after she just started punching.
"NO! GET AWAY!" She screamed, swinging her fist and her eyes sqeezed shut.
Tony held his arms up to block the punches. "Jess... JESSI... It's Tony, sweetie... Stop... STOp... JESSI STOP!" He yelled grabbing her hands.
Jessi's eyes flew open at Tony's yelling her name. She noticed what she had been doing and started to apologize. Tony just held his hand up and walked out of the room into the bathroom. Jessi followed only for the fact she wanted to apologize to Tony. He had been there for her through everything and here she was just beating him up literally. When she went into the room she saw a sight that she almost couldn't believe. There her Italian Stallion was putting shaving cream on his chest.
"What are you doing?" She posed.
"Shaving my chest." He said matter-of-factly, while he spread the cream over his chest.
"Why?"
"Well I want you to be comfortable when you sleep next to me, and if this doesn't make you comfortable I will get rid of it."
Jessi stood dased. Here the man she loved was about to give up a part of himself for HER. She saw him raising the razor. "Tony, STOP!" She shrieks.
Tony stopped and look at her, the razor still to his chest. "What?"
"I don't want you to shave your chest." She stated. "Its a part of what makes you, well, you."
Tony put the razor on the counter and walked over to his wife. "Yes, but if it so do you. You make me a better me and if that means giving up something that can ALWAYS grow back." He pointed out. "Then you're worth it."
Jessi hung her head. "You would do that just for me?"
Tony gently lifted her head. "I would do ANYTHING for you."
Jessi looked into his eyes. She could see the truth and love in them. It took all the strength she had to not stop herself from doing this, but if Tony was willing to shave his chest for her, then she could do this for him. Jessi got on her toes and placed a small kiss on his lips. She thought that she couldn't do it, but when she did... it felt right. He was her husband. He loved her. He would never hurt her. Jessi put her heels back on the floor and smiled. "I love you."
Tony was shocked when Jessi kissed him. He wanted to continue, but he knew she needed to take the lead on this. So he just smiled back and whisper. "I love you, too."
Two days later...
Tony was in the bedroom. For the past few nights Jessi had been sleeping in the bed with Tony, although she would still flip out just a little bit. But Tony would just speak to her and calm her down. She had been also been kissing him more as well, but Tony knew that soon her cabin fever would be kicking in and she would want to get out of the house so he went into the closet and picked out a beautiful dress that he loved on her and knew that she loved on herself.
"Hey, Jess." He said as he walked into the living room. "How about you and I go to dinner tonight."
Jessie looked up at him from the couch. She saw Tony holding up her and his favorite dress. She really ddidn't want to go out but he had given up a lot for her and her cabin fever was getting the best of her. "Sure, what the hell." One little dinner couldn't hurt, right?
Time elasped…..
Tony and Jessi were sitting at Bella Noche. It felt just like the first time that they had come here the night they ran into one another. Jessi was beginning to feel more and more comfortable with Tony. He was being so patient and understanding, he had never really complained about not being intimate and she was missing being in her husband's arms. Jessi had always felt safer there in his arms. He would always make the demons go away, and that's what she loved about him.
They had been at the restaurant for about an hour now and had been done eating for about 10 minutes. Tony raised his hand to get the check for their order, when Jessi stopped him.
"Can we stay a little longer?" She asked. "I don't want the night to end just yet."
Tony smiled. "How about instead we take a walk in the park?" He suggested. "Unless you just want to stay here?"
Jessi shook her head. "A walk in the park sounds nice." She smiled. "As long as you're with me."
"Io sarò sempre con te , mia cara." Tony whispered.
Jessi gave a slight shiver. She missed hearing his sexy Italian and she was so glad he remembered how much that turned her on. Jessi still wasn't sure if she could do anything about it but her body was sure telling her she was ready.
Tony paid the check and they left, going to the nearest park and taking a stroll. As they were walking Tony absentmindedly reached out for Jessi's hand. At first she jumped when he just grabbed it, but when he recoiled she reached out putting hand in his. "You know I'll never get used to being loving with you again if you keep pulling away when I jump." She teased.
Tony laughed softly. "I know." He sighed. "I just don't know how approach this anymore. I don't want to go to fast, but I want you to know that I still want you."
"Believe me, I know." Jessi giggled. "I see it in your eyes." Jessi stopped walking and pulled Tony to turn and face her. She then got on her toes and kissed him. "Let's go home." She whispered as she put her heels back on the ground.
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