AN: so hey everyone! Long time no see! So yesterday was Mello's 21st birthday, and I wanted to do something special, but it never happened. Today I was listening to VOCALOIDS (Miku's Chip Tears) and was like…wow. This could so be those two. (Mat and Mello), and this happens while I listen over and over again. xD enjoy!
Mello looked up as someone new came into the room. He was just a kid, as everyone loved to rub in his face, and he was furious that he was always second to the albino freak. He looked at the newcomer, and took in his slightly red hair, goggles, gameboy, and candy cigarette dismissively. He figured that there was no way this kid would be competition, and turned his attention back to his notes, resuming his studying. He did not notice that the gamer was staring at him from behind his goggles that turned the world a warm, comfortable shade of orange, and blocked everyone from seeing his eyes. Mat looked him, then returned to playing his game, coming over and sitting by Mello. Mello looked down in annoyance as Mat sat on the floor right by his chair, and sighed under his breath. He figured if he was going to have company, they should at least talk some, so he said, "Hey, kid." Mat looked up at him, automatically pausing his game, and raised an eyebrow. Mello twitched a finger slightly in annoyance, saying, "I said Hey. You should respond." When Mat only nodded at him, Mello tried again. "What is your name, at least?" Mat studied him a moment, then said, "Mat," quietly before returning to his game. Mello smirked as he watched the gamer run around as Link, gathering pieces of the triforce. He rolled his eyes, not quite sure why when Mat had talked, a small thrill had run through him, causing his heart to pick up.
When he went to his room, he found Wammy putting a suitcase on the other bed. Mello glared and said, "What is this crap; I do not share a room." Wammy smiled and turned, answering, "You do after today. I'm sure you have already met your roommate." Wammy left Mello baffled, and Mello shook his head, sitting at his desk, and studying in the quiet. Mat soon came up, and Mello glared at him until he muted his game, then just sat clicking away at the game without sound. Mat stayed up late in the night, as did Mello, and eventually Mello went to bed. Mello was shocked when Mat's name appeared on the board listing the order, because Mat was third, and all Mat ever did was play his games. Mello never could get Mat to say another word, despite trying nearly every day. Once they were about fifteen, Mello sighed in frustration, and Mat looked up. Mat studied him, then turned back to his game, deeply concentrating. Mello smiled faintly, leaving the room, and was lost in thought, thinking about why Mat would not talk, and Mat followed him as he always did. Walking through the halls to the cafeteria, he was shocked when Mat said, "I really like people that act just like you." Mello looked at him, asking, "What do you mean by that?" but Mat did not respond, because he was already lost in his game. Mello sighed, and they went and ate together, Mat barely looking up from his game.
When they went to sleep that night in their separate beds, Mello cried inside, because he did not know or understand why he was so attached to the stupid gamer, and he was finally figuring out what stirred when he spoke. It was longing so acute it hurt. Mello was just beginning to think that feelings like those did not apply when they were just friends, but he could not push them away. He stared up at the ceiling, looking at the tiny lines all over it, but not really looking at them. With a sigh, he rolled over, and heard Mat's game give him the victory noise he always sought for. Mello laughed bitterly and shoved all of his feelings away so that there was only a black, blank canvas spread out in his mind. He could feel his control and stability eroding, but he forced himself to sleep.
Over the next year, Mello had to force himself to laugh, even more than he had ever had to before. He felt so hollow, and he realized he liked Mat, a lot. He refused to admit it, and prayed for forgiveness and cleansing every night. The cleansing never came, and he could feel his feeling slowly burning into his soul. Then, two months before he turned sixteen, he noticed that Mat was not at his side. He saw that his lovely gamer was over with a girl with long blonde hair. Mat did not even have his gameboy, he noted bitterly, as the girl was twirled around and her hair flew out behind her. He couldn't see Mat's eyes, but the other boy was smiling, and the girl was laughing. He looked away bitterly, staring at his papers, then gathered them all up and stormed out. He noticed the bitter core of jealousy deep in his heart, and he laughed, showing the world he did not care, then disappeared into his room. He thought back to all the things that he had thought he had seen on Mat's face, and shook his head in disgust. It had all been in his imagination, and he should have known as much. He had thought Mat had been looking at him, but that must have been a trick of those goggles.
He tried to place the girl, but she must have been new, or he must have become more antisocial than he had thought. He saw now that she must be beautiful, but when he thought of beautiful, he could only think of his gamer. He could not believe he had ever thought he might even be with him. He did not want to even think about Mat, so he buried his face into his pillows and cried. He contemplated cutting himself but that would be a sin too, so he just curled up into a ball and thought about how useless he was. He heard taunting echoes of the few words Mat had spoken to him, and he ached inside. He found himself staring at the ceiling again, and thought of the sky. He heard thunder crash outside and wandered outside. The rain was pouring down, and so he walked into it, looking up at the sky, and was instantly soaked. He crushed down his growing love for the gamer and shuddered, falling to his knees, and gave into the tears that had been threatening. He jumped as Mat was suddenly there, and quit crying. Mat gently helped him up, and whispered in his ear after a loud crash of thunder. "I really like people who act just like you." Mello shivered, and Mat helped him inside. They went to the bathroom attached to their room, and Mat gently dried first Mello, then himself off. Mello closed his eyes, filled with longing, then opened them with a snap as he felt Mat pick up his hand and gently kiss it. He looked at Mat, and Mat raised his head, moving closer to hug him.
Mello felt he might snap in the tension that made his body send out little shivers, and then shivered violently as Mat kissed him. He reached up, touching his rosary, automatically stepping back in fear and feeling overwhelmed. Mat sighed, shaking his head and whispered, "I thought you felt something for me. I thought I should find out before I went." As Mat turned around, Mello stepped close, wrapping his arms around the gamer's waist, stopping him, and said, nearly too soft to hear, "Over these years I have fallen in love with you, then nearly given up on it. I wanted to give up on it, but I can't, even if it is a sin. I don't want you to burn in hell with me, though, so go." When Mello stepped back, Mat turned around and kissed him deeply. "Don't you think you are a little extreme?" Mello let out a little moan, kissing him back, and Mat continued his thought, "I don't even know if I care to believe in God, especially if he would condemn us. Mello, I've been in love with you since that first day. I've been so tongue tied, and I haven't been able to make you see that I love you through the tiny hints. If you go to hell, I want to follow you anyways." Mello shivered, starting to shake his head, but Mat interrupted him with a gentle kiss.
Mat smiled and said, "I think it would be too cold go back out in these clothes, and seeing as we're in the bathroom we might as well shower. So why not shower together? It would save water, I'm sure." Mello nodded mutely, stunned at how much Mat was speaking, and smiled, wondering at the change. Now it was him who was silent while his gamer rattled on. Except, this time, they knew they were in love.
So, should I continue this, or leave it as a oneshot? I really don't know what I want do, so please tell me! :D Sorry, again, for the long absence from writing. Gomen~!