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Shakespeare's Lemonade
Rating: K+
Genre: Friendship/Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Sam feels like throwing something in frustration, but because he's in a moving car, he settles for upping the volume. "It's not our job to fix everything!" Cas remains calm, though there's a new edge to his voice. "I don't think Dean understands that." He pauses pensively. "I'm not sure I do either."
A/N: Tag to episode 9x10. Something I came up with this morning while thinking about where the characters are going after the events of "Road Trip."
~oOo~
It's quiet in the car, and Sam hadn't expected anything else. His connection to Cas has always been through Dean. Time alone between the two of them is always a little awkward. So, it's a surprise when Cas starts speaking.
"I think you should forgive your brother," he says.
Of course he would say that. His eyes are fixed on the road ahead, as if trying to focus in spite of the thick tension even he in his angel state must feel.
"Because he meant well?" Sam scoffs.
"No," Cas replies, frowning as if the comment doesn't make any sense. "Because he's so often forgiven others. You and me especially."
That much is true, but Sam shakes his head. "It's not about Kevin. Hell, it's not even about him letting an angel possess me. It's that he thinks he has to fix everything I do. I was ready to die, but he couldn't have that."
Cas looks deep in thought, but he speaks as if he knows something Sam doesn't. "It's not in his nature to let go, Sam. I'm not suggesting you have to agree with him or consider what he did acceptable. I am suggesting that you forgive in spite of that. And perhaps try to imagine where he would be if you were dead."
"If I'd finished the trials, half our problems would be solved. The demons would be gone."
"Yes, and I would definitely be dead. Dean probably would too."
"Then we'd all be in Heaven, so what's the big deal?"
"And what about Kevin? What about the angels overrunning the Earth?"
Sam feels like throwing something in frustration, but because he's in a moving car, he settles for upping the volume. "It's not our job to fix everything!"
Cas remains calm, though there's a new edge to his voice. "I don't think Dean understands that." He pauses pensively. "I'm not sure if I do either."
Sam looks curiously at Cas. "You two are more alike than I thought."
"Thank you."
Sam snorts. Of course he would take that as a compliment.
"I'm not angry at Dean," Sam says more seriously. "Not really. He just doesn't get that his way of thinking is all backwards."
"Maybe you should try telling him that." There might be a hint of exasperation in Cas' voice.
Sam shakes his head. "He wouldn't listen to me. He has to figure it out for himself. That's why I let him go. He thinks he's poison to the people around him, and not a damn thing I say is going to change that."
Cas has been getting a darker look in his eyes throughout the whole conversation. "Dean is not the poison. He's the cure."
"I know," Sam says. "But I doubt he'll ever believe that."
"We must make him." Cas seems so sure of himself that Sam almost laughs.
"One thing at a time. Let him cool his heels a little bit." Sam looks out the window into the darkness. "He'll come back. He always does."
Cas seems to relax at that comment. "We have to get you back to health as well," he says.
"Yeah. That too."
This whole time, Cas hasn't once looked at Sam, which is weird because Dean always takes his eyes off the road when he's talking. The safe driving is actually making Sam nervous. And that's when Cas turns his head.
"It'll be okay, Sam," he says. "I'll take care of you."
For a second, Sam really believes that Cas is saying it because he's worried about Sam himself, rather than out of loyalty to Dean. Maybe Cas is a lot like the older Winchester, but Sam is fairly certain that he only cares because Dean does. Sam realizes in that moment that if anything happens to Dean, Cas will not take it well, and that's probably why he started this conversation in the first place. Cas knows that things go better for all concerned when Sam and Dean are together.
And Sam has to agree.
"Yeah," he says, more for his own benefit than for Cas. "I'm sure everything will be fine."