Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
AN: This is for DarkAngel048. Hope you like these. Prequel (or side story) to "To Love By Arguement".
Minor Note: Xander is dead in this fic.
He was back! Angel was back and when she asked if he was staying, he didn't say that he was but he didn't say that he wasn't. Buffy was an optimist when it came to Angel. He meant the world to her and she had loved him for so long. He was now back in Sunnydale and after she took care of a certain Vampire, Angel would be in her arms by the end of the night. First to the cemetary and then to Giles's.
Her trek to the cemetary didn't take her long at all and making her way to the Masoleum that held the Vampire whom's heart she was about to break. Spike. The moment she reached the bottom of the stairs Spike was in front of her and was ready to take her in his arms.
"Spike." she said bringing him to a halt with the suddeness in her voice.
"Yes." he said to her hesitantly.
Spike could feel it coming. The rejection that had come many times before but what had he done to make her angry to kick him to the curb again? Could he not win with her? Why was she doing this to him? Had he not told her he loved her and proved it to her? Was that it, he told her he loved her? She was rejecting his love, that was what was going to happen. He knew who was in town.
"Spike, um, we need to..." she began akwardly.
"I know, we are through. Angel is in town." he spat.
"Yes he is and we are." she said.
"Leave then." he said to her and turned away.
Buffy licked her lips and slowly backed away and then ran up the stairs and out of the masoleum. She knew that she was going to break his heart but why did she feel... icky? She didn't love Spike but she felt terrible for leading him on, letting him love her, and now she stomped all over his heart. But she loved Angel and he knew that she loved Angel so he should have seen it coming.
So Buffy shrugged it off. She was sure that Spike would get over it and move on. He wouldn't stand in the way of her happiness, that was one thing she loved about him. She loved Spike but she loved Angel more. Right now she had to see Angel, so she had to get a move on to Giles's.
(Giles and the others, prior Buffy's arrival)
"So you and Angel?" Willow asked, quietly.
"Yeah, in three months." Anya answered her.
"Wow, so is it going to be a small ceremony?" Giles asked them.
"Umm, yeah real small. Actually we are here to ask if you all would like to be in our wedding." Angel informed them.
"Really?" Willow asked.
"Yes, Willow and I want you to be my Maid of Honor." Anya said to her.
"Why me? After all I did. I killed Xander." Willow teared up.
"I know. But you weren't yourself and was grieving and I forgave you." Anya said to her and embraced her.
Things had been hard for Willow since she had killed Xander. She hadn't meant to. Tara had been murdered and she went all psycho witch on them and Xander had been caught in the crossfire. He had been trying to calm her down and she attacked him over and over. He did succeed in calming her down and saving the world from her but the injuries he had sustained from her was too much for him to handle and then he died.
Anya and Xander had been engaged at the time of his death and she had taken it very hard. Angel had come in for his funeral and Anya had left with him when it was over. It had been almost two years since she had left. Angel had come to visit several times during that period but that had been Anya's first time back in Sunnydale after all that time.
"Thank you, I will be your Maid of Honor, as long as I don't have to wear pink." Willow said, wiping her eyes.
"Yeah, I know." Anya said with a little laugh.
"So Giles would you like to be my Best Man?" Angel asked him.
"Yes I would be honored." Giles said to him.
He would be honored to be Angel's Best Man. Something he never thought he would be, Best Man for a vampire. It was weird since he was a vampire hunter. But he was the least of the worries. The worry he did have was Buffy. Who was going to tell her and how was she going to handle the news? He knew Buffy very well, probably better than anyone, and he knew just how she was going to take it.
It was going to go one of two ways. One, she was going to stake both the bride and groom, or Two, she was going to leave with barely any words spoken and take her anger out on some loose demons or some other kind of monster and get herself hurt. It was going to be bad and as usual he was going to have to pick up the peices and patch her back up.
He didn't mind either. He was her teacher, her mentor, her friend, and he loved her so much. More than he should. He was old enough to be her father but he didn't love her like a daughter. He loved her and would be there for her to pick her back up and set her on the path again. That was what you did for someone that you loved, someone you would give your life for. When the inevitable happened he was going to be waiting.
"That is great, now we need a few more for the wedding party." Angel said.
"Um, Angel who is going to tell Buffy?" Giles asked.
"I am." Angel said.
"Tell me what?" Buffy asked walking into the room.
(Enter Buffy at Giles's)
Buffy finally made it to Giles's and was making her way down the hallway to the library when she heard Giles and Angel's voices floating out to her.
"Um, Angel who is going to tell Buffy?" she heard Giles ask as she reached for the handle.
"I am." Angel said and she opened the door.
"Tell me what?" she asked and walked into the room.
The library went silent and tension filled the air. It was thick and it made Buffy nervous. She didn't like it one bit. They had to tell her something and it wasn't going to be something that she wanted to hear.
"Tell me what?" she repeated much firmer.
"Ahh, Buffy, umm, we need to talk." Angel said a little nervous.
"Ok, what about?" she asked putting on a little smile.
"Buffy, um, I am, Anya..." he began when Buffy interrupted him.
"Anya!" she cried at the mention of the sorceress and went over to her and hugged her tightly.
"How have you been?" she asked.
"I've been good." Anya said.
"That is great." Buffy said.
Angel cleared his throat to get their attention.
"Sorry, you were saying." Buffy said and moved away from Anya.
"Buffy, Anya and I are getting married." he rushed it out before anything else interrupted.
Buffy's smile faltered and she let out a small laugh and then clicked her tongue. A small wave of confusion passed over her features and then she smiled at him again.
"What did you just say?" she asked a little harshly.
"Anya and I are getting married." he said again.
"Oh, um, yeah. I be.. better go." she said and turned and left the room, ignoring the protests of the rooms' occupants.
"I'll go after her." Angel said.
"No, she will more than likely stake you." Willow said to him.
"Or she is going to Spike." Anya stated.
"No, go. She is going to let off steam. She'll go to Spike and then almost get herself killed." Giles said to them.
"I'll go." Angel stated once again and disappeared after her.
"How do you know what she is going to do?" Willow asked Giles.
"The same way you knew exactly what Tara was doing." Giles retorted.
"He is in love with her." Anya said to Willow.
"He is? Way to go, Giles. It's sweet." Willow gushed.
"Yeah." he said and left the room.
(Buffy)
"Spike?" she called and went down the stairs in the masoleum.
Only her echo returned to her. No firelight, no angry blonde vampire cursing at her, only her echo followed by absolute silence.
"Spike?" she called again and took out a flashlight to see.
No signs of life or undead life anywhere. She searched around for some matches and when she found some she lit the candles that were standing around the room. They sparked to life and she resumed her search for the vampire whose heart she just smashed.
She went to his bedroom and found that his stuff was all gone. His clothes and... everything was gone. She shuffled around his desk and tossed his bedding off to find anything. She did, she found a small quickly written note addressed to her.
Dear Buffy,
After you left I decided to leave. I know that you will be back but I won't be here to take you back. Even the undead can only take so much rejection. I do hope that you are happy with... Angel and that he makes you happier than I apparently couldn't.
Buffy, I love you and I am leaving so I will stop loving you. I won't be coming back so you can seal my masoleum or burn it or whatever, I won't need it anymore. So Buffy I leave you and Sunnydale behind forever.
Good-bye forever,
Spike.
Buffy went numb and cold. He was gone! He was gone. He was gone. Spike was gone. He left her. No, he left to get away from the love he held for her that she had rejected. But she loved him, Spike knew that, but she had rejected him. It was all her fault and now she was alone. Angel was with Anya and now Spike was gone from her life for good. What was she going to do? Was there anything for her now? No there wasn't, she didn't have anything now.
Buffy slowly moved out of the room and on her way she turned the candles over, letting the room blaze as she left the masoleum. Leaving the grave behind she slowly made her way out of the cemetary and down the street to the park. She began to pass the park when she heard the shreiking and cackling of the undead. That was what she had, a job to do and nothing else. She was a slayer and that was all.
She entered the park and there they were. Demons were roaming around by the swings and the slide. They saw her and shrieked at her. Then they charged at her. Buffy saw them coming and a small spark of will to live flared and set her to life.
She dodged and ducked and slashed. But her whole heart wasn't in the fight and so she got hurt. She stabbed them and they stabbed her. She killed a few of them but the remaining ones gained up on her at once, overpowering her, and slashing at her and she became terribly wounded. Blood ran quickly from the wounds and she began to get light headed, her vision ringed with black, and her hearing echoed every sound.
But still she fought, a feeling deep inside her pushed her to fight on. An inkling had sprouted within her that there was something or someone that needed her, that loved her as more than a friend or aquantince. But who or what needed her?
A sharp upper cut under her chin from her opponent sent her flying but she didn't get up. She lay there, she could feel the damage to her body. She could hardly breathe with the broken ribs she recieved and with the rate she was losing blood she was sure that she was going to pass out soon. Her vision began to blur and then clear and then blur, back and forth it went. The demons closed in on her, one clamped its' hand down upon her leg, crushing the bone within. She didn't make a sound for she didn't feel the bone but she felt the bone give way.
A sound caught her and the demons' attention. The jerky movements of the demons let her know that it must have been one of her friends coming to rescue her. Turning her head slowly Buffy saw the two people she didn't want to see, Angel and Anya. They had come to her rescue and now the demons were dead and she was in Angels' arms, being sped off towards, if she were to guess Giles's.
"Hold on Buffy, we'll get you to Giles." she heard Angel say right before she was out cold.
(Giles)
A crash from downstairs told him that Angel and Anya had returned. With Buffy? He knew not. But he could only hope that they had found her before she got herself severly injured or killed.
"Giles!" Anya screamed for him.
He knew that Buffy was in trouble. He rushed to the stairs and yelled for Angel to take her to his basement, that he had supplies down there. Minutes later, Buffy was stitched up, cleaned up, wrapped up, and hooked up to everything Giles had seen fit to use to make sure she lived. He was so thankful that there wasn't a need to operate and that she had accelerated healing, but she would still be in the bed for a couple of weeks.
Seeing that Buffy was stable and peaceful, Giles went to his library. After he had asked Angel where they had found her and had been told that Spike was gone and what had happened to his grave, he had sent them awaytended to Buffy and was sure that they would be waiting, with all of her friends and Dawn, wanting news. He wasn't in the library a second before they all descended upon him with questions.
"Giles, how is she?" Dawn asked.
"She will be fine, but it will be some time before she wakes or able to leave her bed." he informed them.
"Oh no. Can I go sit with her?" Willow asked.
"Yes, Dawn you should go to." he said to them and they left to sit with Buffy.
"Will she be alright?" Anya asked.
Giles nodded at them and then spoke, "Angel, Anya, it may be best if you two aren't here when she wakes up."
"B... but..." Anya began.
"You know how Buffy is. Angel you know her almost as well as I do." Giles said.
Angel nodded. It would be best of he and Anya weren't around when she came to. Chances were she'd kill them or just wouldn't ever come near them again. Her never coming near him again would hurt him more than her killing him and Buffy knew just how to hurt someone and she would do it to them both.
"We're going Anya." he said and Anya nodded.
Angel and Anya said their good-byes and left Sunnydale. Everyone was sad that they had to go but it was best for Buffy that they did and they all understood. Buffy needed space from them and then she would be ready to accept them back into her life as if nothing had ever happened for them to be booted from her life to begin with.
A few hours after the two had departed Willow and Dawn had to leave. Dawn had school and Willow was going to take care of her until Buffy was back on her feet. They asked Giles if he needed anything and he said that he didn't, that they should just go on back to Buffy and Dawns' and get some sleep. He would call them if something happened with Buffy. Then they left.
Being left alone with Buffy, like he had been so many times before, Giles made himself some tea and made himself comfortable by Buffy's bedside. He watched her sleeping face and soon the silence began to get to him.
"Oh Buffy, I wish you weren't so downtrodden when you emotionally get broken. You will bring death to your door if you keep it up." he said to her.
He waited a few seconds and continued to speak to her. He decided on a topic that she would want to know about even if he wasn't sure if she could hear him or not.
"Willow is taking care of Dawn. So she will be going to school tomarrow and I promised them that if something should happen that I would call them. And, um, Angel and Anya are gone. I told them that it would be best if they left Sunnydale, that it would be best for you if they left." he said and then waited before he continued again.
"I take it since Angel and Anya didn't find you at Spikes' and that his masoleum has been burned, that he is gone. I could also guess that you are the one that burned his masoleum. Love is a hard thing Buffy. I know, I'm in love with you and I haven't told you about it. You were too young, then with Angel, then with Spike, and then back and forth between the two. Who was I to come between what you wanted?" he said.
"I don't know why I am even saying this. You're not awake to hear me, so there isn't a point in telling you." he added rather sadly.
He finished his tea and with one quick glance at her, he turned and left the room to go upstairs for a shower. He wanted to sleep, to forget for a brief moment that the woman he loved was in his home and bandaged up like a mummy and was almost on Death's doorstep.
His glance was so quick that he missed an occurrence with Buffy. She had heard what he had said, that he loved her and that he didn't see the point on even telling her. It hurt her straight through to her heart and she felt the urge to cry and if anyone had been in the room they would have seen a tear fall from under her closed lids.
What was she going to do? What could she do? He was so sad and he had loved her for so long and she was blind to his affections. She had even come to him with her problems about Angel and Spike and had never even known what he had felt for her.
She had caused so much hurt without even realizing it. Angel and Anya were gone because of her. Her mother was gone because of her. Spike was gone because of her. Now Giles was hurting and if she didn't do something soon he just might walk out of her life, too. She loved Giles didn't she? Yes, but was it the same way she loved Angel or Spike? No, it wasn't but was the way she loved Angel the same as the love she held for Spike? No, they were all different,
Had she felt something other than friendship/love for Giles? Yes she had but she had brushed it off since he was old enough to be her father. Was she ever "in love" with Angel or Spike? Or has she been "in love" with Giles the whole time? What would hurt her more, never seeing Angel, Giles, or Spike again? Definately Giles. Did that mean that she cared more for Giles over the other two? Yes it did. But did that mean she was in love with him? She didn't know.
She had thought that she loved Angel and now that he was marrying Anya and had waltzed in and out of her life, she was sure that she had never been "in love" with Angel. The same could be said with Spike. If she had really been "in love" with him she wouldn't have been able to rip his heart out of his chest as many times as she had and then stomped all over it.
But with Giles, when the Council had seperated them and had given her Wesley as a Watcher, she had felt oddly cold and so very sad. They were not supposed to be around each other and that had been killing her and she went out of her way to defy the Council just to be around Giles. She wasn't sure if she was "in love" with Giles but she was sure that she loved him, so maybe. Just maybe, she was "in love" with him.
(Several Days Later)
Many days passed before Buffy woke. Buffy had moved her eyes and then slowly she opened them and blinked them against the light. She sighed and was finally able to open them without being blinded. She then just stared at the ceiling and then realized that she felt a weight lying on her stomach. She looking down to see that Giles was lying on her stomach sound asleep.
She smiled at him. He was all rumpled and so tired looking. He must have been waiting around the clock for her to wake up. After all he loved her so he would do that, no care to his own health until she was well again. A small sad smile came to her lips then. What was she going to do?
She still didn't know what it was that she felt for Giles. Was she "in love" with Giles or did she just love Giles like she did Dawn, Willow, or her father? She didn't know. All she knew was that she loved Giles just not sure as to which way her love went for him. But maybe she could be or was in love with him after all he deserved to have someone to be in love with him. He did so much for everyone that he should just get his wish and have the one he loved.
"Giles." she said to him softly, trying to wake him gently.
"Giles." she said raising her voice when nothing happened.
Giles stirred slightly but then turned his head to get comfortable and returned to sleep. Buffy scowled at him, he needed to wake up.
"Rupert Giles!" she said loudly.
"Wh.. what?" he said and sat up to her voice.
"Giles." she said softly and he looked at her.
A happy smile spread over his face and his eyes tinged with a happy sadness. A pang went through Buffy's heart as she imagined what he may of been thinking. No, she knew what he was thinking. That she hadn't heard a single word of what he had confessed and that everything was going to go back the way it had been. That she was going to go on being clueless of her Watcher.
"Buffy, how are you feeling?" he asked.
"Tired still, hungry, thirsty, and very sore but other than that I feel fine." she said lowly.
"That is good, I will get you something to eat and drink.'' he said to her and making his way to the door.
"Thank you. Giles you are too good for me." she said.
"No you are too good for me." he whispered and left.
Several minutes passed before he returned with some nourishment for her. On the tray he carried a bowl of Chicken Broth, some crackers, and a cup of tea for her.
"That smells good, Giles. Thank you." she said when he sat down the tray.
"Your welcome. Eat." he said and sat down by her bedside.
Buffy ate as Giles told her what had been going on while she was comotose. Willow had been caring for Dawn and right then Willow was at work and Dawn was at school. He told her that Angel and Anya had left and that Spike was gone. She told him that she knew Spike was gone and that she had set his place on fire and that he had left her a note. He didn't ask her to elaborate and she didn't. Then she asked him not to call Willow or Dawn, just to let them come on their own.
When she had finished, Giles picked up her tray and told her to get some sleep. When he was almost to the door Buffy yawned and then sighed and muttered something he didn't hear. He turned to her and saw that she was half asleep and turned back to the door and opened it and then he heard Buffy say something and it made his heart leap into his throat.
"I love you Giles." she said and then was asleep.
"I love you too, Buffy." he said and disappeared out the door.
Buffy slumbered quietly as Giles bustled around upstairs. He was in a quiet uproar. Did she love "love" him or was it just because she thought of him as a friend and loved him in that way? He was going to wait until she woke to ask her about it, maybe.
Giles washed the dishes and then went to his library to do some research. While he was reading he heard a thudding sound and went to investigate it. He then learned that it was coming from the basement where Buffy was. Quickly he made his way to the basement to protect the slayer if need be. When he arrived he found that Buffy was trying to move about the room. She was still trembling on her legs but other than that she was doing fine.
"Your strength has returned." he remarked.
"Almost. After all a slayer has ultra healing." she responded.
"Yes. Do you need anything?" he asked.
"Yes I do." she said to him.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Tell me again." she said.
"What is it?" he repeated.
"No, tell me that you love me again." she said.
Giles nodded at her, "Buffy I love you."
"I love you too, Giles. And not as a friend." she said to him.
"Really?" he asked hopefully.
"Mmhmm. I do. I really love you." she said to him and leaned back against the bed.
Giles sat down beside her and she laid her head down on his shoulder and let out a sigh. Giles laid his head against hers and there they sat, reveling in their new found love.