Just a little oneshot I wrote because it only took like 10 minutes and I didn't even edit it. It's based off of the "Lana Got Coned" scene from The Princess Diaries. If you haven't seen the movie, this'll probably still be somewhat funny.

ALSO I know that Rin and Sousuke are OOC, but I needed them to be for this oneshot. Besides, in this oneshot little-Rin is basically just acting like big-Rin in Season 1. I like to believe that when Rin gets angry, he gets super salty and feels a need to prove he's better than everyone. Idk. Enjoy!

CONED

Haru absentmindedly licked some ice cream off of his cone before it could dribble over the edge and stain his school uniform. His mother hated it when he got his uniform the slightest bit dirty, but he watched the other elementary schoolers rolling around in the dirt for fun and scoffed. She had no idea how clean he actually was. On his left, his best friend Makoto was happily swinging his legs back and forth under the bench they were sitting on, devouring his ice cream cone. Haru went back to licking the cold treat in his hand.

"Hey losers, what's up?" a voice drawled. It would have sounded more intimidating had it not been so high pitched. Haru looked up between his bangs and saw the fiery red daredevil that was more formerly named Matsuoka Rin. His eyes narrowed slightly, and he decided to ignore him.

Haru didn't like Rin that much, and Rin didn't like Haru. When Rin had first transferred to Iwatobi Elementary, it had been different. He had followed Haru around constantly, chattering and begging him to swim a relay with him. But after Haru refused and continued to refuse, Rin got mad. Haru quickly found out that a mad Rin was much different from a happy Rin. And now that Rin's really tall and really strong best friend Sousuke had transferred to Iwatobi Elementary too, Rin had decided that he was the king of the school yard.

"Hello Rin. Sousuke," Makoto greeted out of courtesy. It sounded pleasant enough, but you could tell his words were clipped and stony. Mako didn't like how Rin paraded around, like he owned the place. And he certainly didn't like how uncomfortable Rin made Haru. At first, Makoto had considered Rin a friend. But Rin bugged Haru about swimming in the relay so much that Haru got really upset (something that only Makoto knew, a secret he would take to his grave) and Makoto promptly told Rin to shove off (Haru didn't know about that, another secret Makoto would take to his grave). Rin got pretty angry at Makoto, and he never left him or Haru alone. He was constantly mocking them, along with Sousuke.

Sousuke merely nodded in response to the greeting. Rin grinned, and his pointed teeth glistened in the sun. "Are you and your girlfriend enjoying your ice cream?" he asked Makoto. Makoto nearly choked, and he had to hold back a wince and keep the smile pinned on his face. He knew that Haru hated the fact that he had a girly name, even though Makoto also had a girly name. But calling Haru his girlfriend? That was over the line.

Meanwhile, Haru kept his head down and stared at a few ants carrying crumbs across the grass. The comment didn't really bother him. It just slid off his shoulders. Haru had decided to stop caring about what Rin said a while ago. But he could tell that Makoto was bothered, and that made him care more than he would like to admit. Still, he said nothing. Only licked his ice cream cone again.

"Why isn't the fish currently in a pool trying to drown the misery of his life?" Rin goaded. Ouch. Haru's eyes narrowed a bit, but he remained silent. He could feel Makoto shift by his side. Makoto was getting more and more annoyed. Haru didn't understand how Makoto could care so much about an insult that was directed to Haru, but it was nice that he cared. Haru subtly brushed his hand against Makoto's, communicating to him that Haru didn't care what the red-headed windbag said.

"You would have so much more fun if you were swimming with me!" Rin said. Makoto shot him a warning glare. Rin only grinned. "Come on, why do you hang out with this guy? He's pretty slow, and he's too scared of the water to swim anything other than backstroke! Ditch him and you and I could reach the top."

Makoto felt a flash of hurt dart through his heart. He knew Haru would never leave him. Right? Haru wouldn't leave him for the obnoxious guy with the fast times and fancy strokes… Would he? Sure, Makoto wasn't the fastest swimmer, but he was improving. And he really wasn't that scared of the water anymore, only the ocean. Still, he felt the doubt in the back of his mind. Haru was fantastic. Haru could make it all the way to the top someday. And Makoto didn't think he could follow him. He only started swimming because Haru swam. Sure, he learned to love it later but that didn't count, did it?

Suddenly, Haru stood up. Makoto's head shot up in confusion. Haru took a few steps closer to Rin. His eyes ran up and down Rin's spotless white school uniform t-shirt. "You know Rin, that shirt looks super good on you," he said, in the friendliest tone that Makoto had ever heard Haru use.

"You bet it does," Rin answered, smirking.

"I mean, it's so nice and clean-cut, I bet it just goes with everything!" Haru continued with a hint of a friendly smile. Rin started to smirk in victory, but abruptly stopped when Haru slammed his chocolate ice cream cone onto Rin's brand new white shirt. He smeared the melting liquid all over the front of the shirt for good measure. Then he took a step back and surveyed Rin's horrified face. Sousuke's jaw dropped.

"HARU YOU'RE SUCH A FREAK!" Rin screamed angrily. Their entire class turned to watch the drama.

"Yeah, yeah I am. But you know someday, I might just grow out of that. But you! You will never stop being a jerk." Haru said calmly.

The school yard was dead silent. But then someone started chanting "RIN GOT CONED! RIN GOT CONED!" and soon the whole school yard had taken up the cry. Haru turned on his heel and stalked back to where Makoto was sitting, completely stunned.

"Haru….wha….why?" Makoto stuttered.

"He was bugging you," Haru said quietly, taking a seat.

"But he was insulting you!" Makoto insisted. He didn't want Haru to think that he was that insecure. Would Haru think he was pathetic?

Haru looked up and stared Makoto in the face. Their eyes locked. "But he was bothering you," Haru repeated, so quietly that Makoto nearly missed it. Haru averted his gaze and continued to stare at the trail of ants. Makoto couldn't help but chuckle. That was just like Haru.

FIN