TSHC Case File No One: Danny Messer, a csi: new york fanfic

Title: TSHC Case File No. One: Danny Messer

Author: Marianne H. Stillie

Categories: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Afterward Scene for "The Box"

Rating: T

Pairing: Danny and Lindsay

Series: The Sid Hammerback Chronicles

Season: Season 5

Summary: Sid Hammerback sees and hears more than his friends realize. Danny Messer finds out how good a friend he is to have around.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places for CSI: NY are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis and CBS Paramount Television. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks are intended. Previously unrecognized characters, places and this story are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Archive: Please do not archive anywhere without the author's permission.

Author's Note: Last September, just before season five premiered, I decided to try doing a series of stories from Sid's point of view. He's a major character in the show but there's very little fan fiction written for his character. It wasn't until last Wednesday's episode, "The Box", that the right first story appeared. I've taken some liberties with the character by giving his wife a name and creating some plausible back story for him.

The Sid Hammerback Chronicles

Case File No. One: Danny Messer

I've taken on certain habits during my years here at the crime lab. One of them is the faithful call I always make to my wife if I'm going to be late getting home.

The call I'd just gotten from Don Flack alerting me to the two DOAs Lindsay was bringing in from Manhattan Beach meant it was going to be a long night in the morgue. If it was any of the other CSIs, I wouldn't be so concerned. But, right now, Lindsay is different.

After the third ring, I hear, "Hello, Sid."

Laughing, I ask, "How did you know?"

Her familiar sweet trill answers, "You're the only one who calls this late, Sid Hammerback." A slight pause, an almost imperceptible sigh, and she continues, "Should I wait up or just set the coffeepot timer?"

I don't quite manage to keep the resignation out of my voice in answer, "Set the timer, honey."

"Be careful driving home."

In response to that years-old wish for my safety, I repeat my practiced response, "I will. I love you, Barb." I laugh at her expected suggestive remark and hang up. Even after twenty-six years, her words give me an anticipatory thrill to get home as soon as I can.

Before I put on my pathologist hat, I have something to do on the thirty-fifth floor. I take down the small glass case from the wall opposite my desk and tuck it under my arm.

At this late hour there are only straggler techs wandering around the labs or monitoring testing equipment. I head for the double office at the end of the hallway. The brightly burning lights clearly show Danny Messer hunched over his keyboard, his eyes darting from the screen to the papers on his desk. The nervous glance at his watch tells me he's there for a more personal reason than catching up on work.

Standing just outside his line of sight, I watch the play of emotions I see so clearly on his young face. Since the lasik surgery, he hasn't been able to hide his feelings behind those glasses he's always used so conveniently as camouflage. I note a deep flash of joy in his expression as he looks down at something on his desk. His breath holds for long seconds before he lets it out.

Startled, he looks up guiltily as I stop beside his desk. "Just heard from Flack. Lindsay's on her way in from the crime scene."

Danny is silent for a few seconds then clears his throat. "Thanks, Sid. Will you need her to stay long once the DOAs are checked in?"

"No," I answer simply.

"Good. She's already way past the end of her shift, and I want to get her home."

From very close to his hand, I pick up what I see now is an ultrasound picture with Lindsay's name at the top of the negative. Before Danny can react, I ask, "You hoping for a boy or a girl, Danny?"

With a loud exhale of breath, Danny answers intensely, "As long as they're both okay, it won't matter."

"Good answer."

The naked eyes squint at me suspiciously. "How long have you known?"

Smiling, I hand the precious picture back to him. "When our tough country girl with the cast iron stomach threw up in one of the morgue sinks a couple of weeks ago even before we'd started an autopsy, I knew something wasn't right. You guys seem to forget I was an M. D. before I went into pathology. I did my ob/gyn rotation. Lindsay has all the signs."

With a touch of relief in his voice, Danny comments, "Hawkes hasn't noticed,"

"He's never experienced living with a pregnant woman up close and personal like I have, twice."

Danny laughs along with me despite the tenseness I see in his body. "I don't know what happened between you two last spring, and it's none of my business."

"I messed up real bad, Sid."

"The Sandoval woman?" I ask pointedly.

The corners of Danny's mouth tighten as he looks at me. "For a pathologist, you're awfully smart about live people." Dejectedly, he adds, "I still haven't had the guts to tell Lindsay the truth."

"But she knows."

"Somehow, yeah."

"Women are very good at seeing right through us. I found that out twice before I learned my lesson."

"You, Sid? I wouldn't have figured you for…" and he stops short.

"A cheater? I wasn't always the nice, honest guy I am now."

The deeply pained expression in Danny's eyes makes me hold back the light laugh I would have allowed myself. Sensing his strong need to talk, I wait patiently.

"Lindsay was afraid to tell me about the baby, as if she thought I'd just dump her! How crazy is that?"

"Obviously, she doesn't really trust you anymore."

"No kidding! The scary part is I don't know how to convince her to stop pushing me away."

"Do you love Lindsay?"

Clenching his hands together tightly, he answers, "That's always been a hard word for me."

Danny's downcast, embarrassed expression sends painful chills down my spine. I decide it's time to tell my story. I've watched this tough kid grow and change for the better since that lovely young woman came into his life. This might be his last chance with her, and I don't want him to lose it.

"I was your age when Barb announced she was pregnant. We'd been married three years, which was a record for me. It was just the two of us and my life was very comfortable. She'd quickly adjusted to the crazy hours I put in with the ME's office. Being a medical pathologist's wife seemed to be everything she wanted out of life."

Leaning back in his chair, Danny says softly, "She must have been lonely a lot of the time."

"They do teach you CSIs to be very observant, don't they." This time Danny laughs lightly at the compliment. Until I started saying the words, I didn't realize how much these long-ago events still rankled. I take advantage of the desk edge and sit down, hoping it will give me the courage to go on with the story.

"I never wanted kids. Being a father would take too much time and effort away from my career, and from the adult pleasures I enjoyed doing. Barb knew that."

"Then she got pregnant."

"Accidents do happen," I say half-jokingly.

"But you were married to her, Sid. You'd already made that commitment."

"I still had the out I'd used twice before if the marriage tanked – divorce. Instead I chose to shut my wife out. I began spending more and more time at work. I didn't trust my life outside the walls of the morgue. Actually, I was hoping she'd take the abortion option, so our life could go back to the way it was."

"Lindsay would never do that. She wants this baby."

"Yes, she does. It's a part of you."

Through a half-smile, Danny comments sympathetically, "I know you didn't leave. What happened?"

"I came home one morning after a triple shift and found her sobbing in our bed. For weeks she'd never let on how hurt she was by my neglect to my face. Those tears made me realize she was more important than my selfish old ways. I couldn't risk losing the woman I truly loved out of fear. I'd already accumulated enough regrets in my life."

"Someone said almost the same thing to me a few days ago."

I hold Danny's strong stare then continue, "I cradled her in my arms until she finally fell asleep. While she slept, I went through my collection of old 45s looking for a song that would tell her everything I couldn't put into words." Fingering the small glass case I had brought up from my office, I hold it out to Danny. "When she woke up, I gave her this record with the words, 'I will if you will.'"

Danny takes the case from me. With a surprised chuckle, he reads the title and artist information from the record label, ""Stand by Me", Ben E. King, 1961." Handing it back to me, he says, "Your wife is a very lucky woman."

I shake my head slowly from side to side. "I've kept that on my office wall all these years to remind me what's really important in life. I want you to give it to Lindsay, and I won't mind if you borrow my words when you do."

'I can't take this, Sid. It's a huge part of your life."

"My wife and two daughters are my life. Now it's your turn to be happy."

Without hesitation, he grips the glass-enclosed record with both hands. "Thanks, Sid."

Standing, I say, "One more piece of my story, and I'll get back to the morgue – having our daughter in our life made Barb and me work harder and care more about our marriage. You and Lindsay should try it." With one last smile, I head out the door.

Out in the hallway, I couldn't have planned the ending to my good deed any better when the elevator doors open and Lindsay steps out. This time I say my words through a self-satisfied grin, "Danny's waiting for you."

"Thanks, Sid," she says with a puzzled look on her face.

I squeeze her shoulder then step into the elevator. "You're welcome," and the doors close.

It's going to be a long night for me at the NYPD Crime Lab. Luckily, I have Barb and coffee to look forward to when it's over.