Hottest Male ~
Dan's face was illuminated by a faint blue light as he sat at his laptop, scrolling and clicking through this year's Sugarscape Youtuber Awards. He clicked once more, sending him to the second page for voting. "Best challenge video? Definitely us," Dan spoke out loud, sparking Phil's interest as he walked over to his boyfriend. He wrapped his arms around Dan from behind and rested his head on his narrow shoulders and read the screen in front of him. Smiling, Phil placed a long, sweet kiss on Dan's cheek as his glassed eyes scanned over the pages.
"Voting for yourself for everything, hm?" Phil teased, nudging Dan's ear with his nose.
"No! Maybe," Dan retorted, smirking. "I'm only telling the truth though. Our Krave challenges were hilarious." Dan clicked to the next page, which listed the best collaboration duos. "We are so winning this one, Phil!"
"There's a lot of good choices on there, love,"
"Yeah, but for all these voters, if we're not already their OTP we're their BroTP. We've got this one in the bag!" Dan's eyes glittered with that spark of competitivity Phil learned to love, causing him to chuckle lightly into Dan's neck. Dan clicked onto the next page, which listed the nominations for "Hottest Male." Dan began reading the list before he noticed the unspeakable.
"Okay, Dan Howell… Troye duh… And… What the fuck?!" Dan spat the words as if he had been offended in the worst way.
"What's wrong?"
"Why the FUCK are you not on this goddamn list? Where the FUCK is 'Phil Lester?'" Dan felt his heart rate increasing with frustration, his face flushing and his hands balling up into fists. What was wrong with the world? And why was Phil just standing around, calmly, as if nothing happened? Dan stood up abruptly, surprising Phil.
"It's just one of those dumb Sugarscape surveys, Dan. It's not a big deal," Phil shrugged towards Dan, pushing his glasses back up onto his nose. He smiled at Dan's reddening face, despite just taking a shot to his ego. Sure, it wasn't a walk in the park always being compared to his outworldly gorgeous counterpart, but he didn't care too much anyway. Phil was never one to waver his confidence over something so trivial in his life.
"It is a big deal!" Dan slammed his laptop shut and faced Phil. "How do these idiotic assholes not see what I see? Fucking- Ugh!" Dan was wildly gesticulating, trying and failing to express himself, while Phil just stood there trying not to laugh at his boyfriend's rage. Angry Dan was always cute, as long as the anger wasn't directed at him.
"It's really okay, babe, it's fine!"
"You and everyone else don't fucking get it. You don't fucking get it!" Dan was so heated he could run over to Sugarscape's headquarters and make sure heads roll. "Nobody fucking gets it…" His voice trailed off and almost sounded sad near the end, sorrow hiding behind passion.
"You're the hottest guy I have ever seen, Phil. Absolutely, no questions asked, you're beautiful and all these shitheads on this list, including me, are bags of horseshit next to you."
Phil was so confused. "Dan… Don't say that, hon. None of those guys nor you are bags of anything, alright?"
"I sat behind a computer admiring you for years, years, before we met, you're the only person I actually wanted to make an effort to get close to," Dan pushed his fringe back, suddenly irritated at it blocking his vision. "And you're so nice to everyone and you're funny and you're sweet and you just… It's annoying that people take that stuff for granted, you know? I see it every day. I roll out of bed and I see you making coffee or whatever and your hair's all over the place and your shirt's probably on backwards and you're still so attractive, so magnetic that it reminds me of how lucky I was to be at the right place at the right time so I could have you all to myself. And then you have the most stunningly beautiful eyes in the world, and the nicest shoulders and cutest ass and softest lips and smoothest hair and most flawless skin and it just pisses me OFF that these dumbasses overlook all that like they're fucking monkeys running this jank-ass website."
"I love you too, Dan." Phil kissed his lover's bitten lips and rubbed circles into his cheeks to calm him down. "And thank you. I only need to hear that from you, no one else."
"I hate everybody, they're a bunch of morons, probably wanking all over the office and overlooking important details and disappointing everybody. They should all be fired and then blacklisted from the fucking industry"
"I'm just as happy as long as you think those things, okay? I'm all yours. I don't need some survey to tell me how 'hot,' I am," Phil shot up air quotes, "when I have you." Phil giggled and bounced one of Dan's brown curls, putting a smile back on his face in no time. Making Dan smile was Phil's greatest superpower.
"You're a treasure, Phil. Seriously." Dan embraced Phil and cuddled into his chest. "And you're all mine."
(A/N Thank you for reading! I decided to channel my rage about Phil not being on the Hottest Male ballot into gay fanfiction so there's that. I hope you enjoyed my lil drabble! .. But seriously have you seen him? How is he nOT ON THE LIST EGEQGO3N ijfiwbofig)