A/N: Written for the Sam & Jack Weekly Oneshot Challenge on Gateworld's Sam Carter /Jack O'Neill Ship Appreciation Thread
**********HOME**********
She'd never been one to daydream, but lately she often found her mind wandering.
Maybe it was this place.
The stark grey walls of the SGC never lent much to the imagination, but here she had color and light and windows everywhere that looked outside where there was sun and clouds and an ocean that was constantly changing from day to day. She also often took advantage of the balcony nearby where she could go outside and stare at the sparkling water and feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and just think. This was where she found herself now, staring at the setting sun a strange but familiar melancholy settling into her.
And, it was in moments like this she couldn't help but wonder what her friends were doing. She thought about Cassie and Daniel and Teal'c and Mark and the kids, but most often she found herself thinking about him.
She closed her eyes and she could still feel his arms wrapped around her, one circling around just below her neck and grabbing her shoulder, the other with its hand splayed across her belly just under her shirt. His chest pressed against her back and his warmth infusing her body like no blanket or hot cup of tea could ever do. She sighed at the recollection of their bodies pressed together sharing the same space.
She left the balcony and continued to slowly wander her way to her quarters, she was in no hurry tonight. It was unusual for her to seek solace there this early in the evening but she'd given up on working today. She wasn't even going to pretend. Once inside her quarters, she made her way straight to her bedroom to change her clothes. She reached inside the t-shirt she'd put on and pulled out her dog tags. She didn't always where them here in Atlantis, she wasn't really required to, but there were days when she just needed the feel of them to remind her of what waited for her when she was able to leave Atlantis. She pulled apart the clasp and slipped a platinum band off of the chain and onto her finger and placed the tags on her nightstand.
She turned off the lights and laying down, she grabbed the pillow beside her and curled herself around it pulling the bedspread up under her chin.
Lying here alone in the dark, she can't keep her thoughts from betraying her once more. No matter how her head argues that she is doing what she needs to be doing, and that she is where she is supposed to be right now for the sake of the program, the sake of her career, hell for the sake of her world, her heart keeps winning the battle of wills and nights like tonight, she must surrender to her loneliness.
She can't help whispering his name in the dark, Jack. You'd think it wouldn't still feel strange to say his name, to be able to say his name not with worry or fear behind it, but to be able to say his name in love and joy. But part of her was still afraid. Afraid that if she said it too much or too often that somehow the world would come crashing down and everything would turn to dust. So she hugs her pillow, closes her eyes, and lets the tears come, content with the fact that another day is done and she is one day closer to going home.