Disclaimer: I own everything! Muhaha! Got you! You really think I would write here if I owned anything? You really need help. Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix and the song featured belongs to John Velby. The only thing I get from this is enjoying the looks on friend's faces when they read it.

Warnings: This fiction may contain course (coarse or curse, not sure what you meant) language and sexual scenes. Reader's discretion is advised. If you don't know what that means, it simply states that it's going to contain a lot of bad language and limes and lemons. Gosh I love writing these.

A/N: OMG this has to be the longest fiction I have ever attempted. I mean I'm not good with plot. And well this one is so very simple it hurts. And well I want to have one chapter for every way. Oh and I just wanted everybody to know that I've changed everybody so that their ages are about the same. I did it so I don't feel so bad about some of the characters being kids. I mean there are some limits I won't cross. So on with the intro!

Dear Diary,

Today I was out at Bailey. I know, very original. I'm always out there staring out at nothing. But today was different; I was up there thinking. Ok, not original again. But anyway I was up there thinking of how boring my life was without my late wife. I mean, she was this bubbly thing that sometimes got on my nerves, but life was never boring. And well, I never did the same thing twice with her.

I've learned to move on since. Hell I even learned to love again. But it's all getting to be the same. I pick a name from my little black book, and go visit them. It's always the same. We talk, yes I do talk more now, and then I end up in their bed. We fuck until we can't move anymore, and then we just lie there in the after glow, same old, same old.

Well this, I guess, is where it gets a little out of sorts. Aerith cornered me. And being the perceptive person she is, she knew something was bothering me.

Now being one of Cloud's friends, I don't talk to her much. And well frankly her 'know it all' attitude kind of bugs me. You see, she knows that I've been sleeping with almost anything that moves, and she knew I wasn't happy with my seemingly perfect life.

"Leon," she said quietly behind me. Dammit, I hate how she can sneak up on people. I mean, even Mickey can't hear her coming, and he has those big ears!

"Aerith," I replied in an almost monotone, annoyed voice. My nerves were almost shot from her getting my attention. It was a good thing I had left Lionheart back at Merlin's House. If I hadn't, she would probably be in two or three pieces by now.

"I know you haven't been feeling well lately."

"I feel fine. I haven't had a cold or the flu in years." Which is totally, one hundred percent true.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it." See that 'know it all' bullshit again. I mean there is no way around it; you just have to live with her knowing everything. "The problem is all in your head."

"What do you know about what is going on in my head," I snapped. Shit, that was a stupid thing to do. I'm going to hear about this from Cloud next time I see him. "Sorry."

"Listen Leon, the answer is easy if you take it logically. I would like to help you in your struggle to be free."

"Then help and stop wasting my time."

"Well, let me be blunt then since you aren't being very nice today. There must be fifty ways to fuck your lover." Ok that was a shock. She really hit me with that one. "It's really not my habit to intrude. And further more, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued, but I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude. There must be fifty ways to fuck your lover."

Now how was I supposed to reply to that? I mean she was being very blunt. So I just turned back around and leaned up against the wall there.

She startled me again when her hand fell down on my shoulder. Shit, she has to stop doing that!

I glared at her. It's been a while since I've glared like that. But it got my point across. Her hand jerked off my shoulder like it was burned.

And frankly I didn't want to talk to her about this. This was a personal matter, it's not like I enjoy having people butt their noses in on my personal affairs. So I just left, I walked away. As far as I know, she didn't follow me.

On my way back I was thinking, she had a point. So here I sit, writing down things that I really can't say aloud.

I'm going to do it. Just to see if it can be done. I'm going to fuck them all in fifty different ways. If I can't do it then I have one up on Aerith. Otherwise I'll just have fun doing it.