Title: In Dreams

Timeframe: Somewhere after ROTS

Characters: Darth Vader

Genre: Angst

Summary: Vader thinks about Padmé. That's it.

Disclaimer: I'm not doing any money with this story, all characters are the property of Uncle George and bla bla...

In Dreams

In dreams, I still see you. It's like you were alive and you were here. You are like a shadow that torments me, that pursues me, that reminds me of my past. A past in which I was Anakin Skywalker, in which you were mine and you were alive…

In dreams, I still hold you, just like I used to do. But only in my dreams. Because in reality, you are dead and I am alive. Though I am not the man I used to be. Now, I can't breathe on my own, I can't see the galaxy with my own eyes…. I am more machine than man.

You are dead. You are just a memory that stills on my thoughts. I killed you. In my anger, I killed you. You and the baby. I killed you both. I killed the ones I loved the most.

In dreams, I still hear one of the last things you said to me…

"I will never stop loving you, but you are going down a path I cannot follow."

I didn't want to listen you, I didn't want to understand you, I only took attention to the power I wanted: the power to save you. And it was searching that power, that I killed you.

In my dreams, I think about what could have been. If this had never happened. If I hadn't killed you, if you were still here with me, just like you are in my dreams. I failed you, Padmé. You and the baby. First, I failed my mother, now you and the baby. It is just too hard to think about it. I loved – I love - you so much and I murdered you. I spent all these years trying to protect you from death and I was the one responsible for yours.

I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life. I don't know how, but I will have to.

In reality, you are dead. You are not with me anymore. And that hurts. So much.

But when I close my eyes, I still see your face. I still hear your voice. I still feel your touch. That is why I prefer to sleep. Because I know that in my dreams, you will always be alive.