TITLE:
Acceptable
AUTHOR:
Captain Devine
SUMMARY:
There's only one way House and Wilson will ever be.
PAIRINGS:
House/Wilson
SPOILERS:
Small, for 3x22 "Resignation"
DISCLAIMER:
If
I owned House, this story would be reality.
A/N:
No
idea, crack idea. Please review.
House opened his fridge, searching for something to eat. He realized he had no food in the apartment and slammed the door shut. He hoped that Wilson would show up soon, possibly with some Chinese food and beer.
House was about to fall onto the couch when he heard the knocking at the door. He stopped in mid-fall, got up, and went to the door, almost smiling. He wrenched it open, expecting to be greeted by his best friend and a few pints of chicken fried rice.
Instead, a rather buxom woman stood on the other side of the door. Her hair brown flowed to her shoulders, making small ringlets at the ends. Her eyes were a deep chocolate brown, heavily made up with blue eyeshadow. Her lips were full and red, and a slight red blush adorned her cheeks. "Hey, House," she said, her voice surprisingly deep.
House just stared at her. "Well, I didn't order a hooker, but I guess if you're here–"
"No, House! It's me!" she defended, her sensual, low voice taking on a tone of slight desperation that House had only heard one place before.
"Wilson!?" he cried, letting his mouth drop open. The girl–Wilson–giggled and stepped inside. "I thought you were a. . .man."
"Not anymore, House!" Wilson flipped a lock of hair and giggled again. House continued to stare in horror. "Don't you see, House?"
"No!" House choked out. "I wish I was blind."
Wilson giggled some more, a high-pitched twittering sound that almost hurt House's ears. "This was the only way! I did this for us! Now we can be together! In a way that's FOX-acceptable!"
House and Wilson then engaged in an extremely smutty make-out scene, that was totally acceptable now that Wilson had DD boobs.
House woke up in a cold sweat, and from that moment on, never let Wilson give him anti-depressants ever again.