Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, damn it! T_T or the SSU or Kay or Mac….. Really the only things that I own are Sandy, Alice, and the tiger…. Oh and the Sue Scanner! The SSU belongs to CreativeSprite, a totally amazing writer who is the founder of the SSU! XD please go to her original story The Death of Mary Sue. I have a link to her on my favs so please check it out!
Alice walked quickly down the halls of Sue Slayers United HQ. It was her first day on the job and she was utterly thrilled. After spending almost 6 years of her life training to kill Mary Sue's this was a big day for the young woman. As she turned a corner, Alice almost ran head first into a woman in her mid twenties, and she didn't look to happy.
"S-sorry ma'ma!" Alice trying to catch her breath
The woman muttered something that sounded like, "Damn rookies," and stormed off, a teenage boy and a big black dog at her heels.
"What in the..." Alice shock her head. They said she would see some weird things here.
"Don't be too offended. She's just in a bad mood because she has to relive puberty." said a man that looked like he was in his fifties, he was balding and had a long grey mustache that made Alice think of one of those dogs with the funny looking lip hair.
"A-Agent Macintyre-Boss-Man-Sir!!" Alice mentally kicked herself for sounding like a moron in front of her new boss, but all he did was smile.
"You must be our new agent, Alice Morgan right? And please just call me Mac."
"Y-yes sir, I mean Mac...." Alice said sheepishly.
"Wonderful! It's so good to get new agents! Well let me introduce you to agent Kay." Mac walked her into a room that was full of computer screens and had a man sitting in a chair with a headset on.
"He will be in contact with you once you go into a fictional universe, and will send you there as well."
The tall dark man nodded to her.
" Are you ready to meet your new partner, agent Alice?" asked Mac.
Alice gulped and nodded.
" All right agent Summer, you may come in now."
The woman that stepped though the door way just about gave Alice a heart attack. She stood well over 6'9" and looked like she could have been a bodybuilder. She made Alice feel even smaller than she already was (and this was something, seeing is how she only stood at 5'1".) This tall woman also had dark skin.
'Probably African decants'. Alice thought.
This woman wouldn't be winning any beauty pageants anytime soon, but she was good looking in a handsome sort of way.
"Mac, how many times do I need to say it? Just call me Sandy." The big woman smiled down at Alice.
"I-I'm Alice," she stammered getting dizzy just looking up at the woman.
Sandy's smile just grew.
"Aren't you just a cute little thing?"
Something snapped in side Alice. Her face turned red.
"DON'T CALL ME TINY!!! JUST BECAUSE I'M SMALL DOSENT MEAN I'M WEAK!!!!!!!!" Alice took a few deep breaths. Everyone in the room looked shocked.
"Whoa whoa, I didn't say any of that. I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you," Sandy held her hands up. Alice almost started laughing. It was like Sandy thought Alice would try and punch her. Even when she was mad she wasn't THAT stupid.
Kay just looked stunned. He didn't know someone so small could be so loud. Although he didn't dare say it out loud in fear of getting slugged.
"Alrighty then. It seems you two will get along just great!" Mac said happily, the two agents just stared at him.
"So.... what's our new assignment, Mac?" Sandy said, trying to break the silence.
"First things first, as I just told Arganough we are now assigning every agent pair an animal. we have lost too many good men." The two women glared at him. "Ahem- and women to the Sue's cute little animal friends. So you may choose a bird, dog, or cat to--" Alice didn't let her boss finish his sentence.
"Ohmigod you have cats!?" she ran out the door dragging Mac with her at break neck speeds.
Sandy blinked a few times.
"She.....sure is energetic," Sandy said a bit shocked.
"I think it says somewhere that she has ADD."
"Oh jee, thanks Kay," Sandy said rolling her eyes.
Kay just smiled.
"Happy to help!"
Grinning back Sandy left to find Alice and Mac
She walked into the SSU kennel to find Alice standing over one of the large cages that held a....tiger. When Alice saw Sandy she almost jumped her.
"Oh Sandy can we get him!!? Please, please please!!!" she stared up at Sandy with big grey puppy dog eyes
Sandy let out a groan; she was never fond of cats. And a tiger!
"I don't think--" but she was cut off.
"But we have to get him!" Alice ran back to where the tiger was.
"Just look at him! We can't leave this gorgeous feline in a cage!"
Sandy looked at Alice, then at the tiger. Who was....giving her puppy eyes too?!
Sandy looked at the tiger's bright yellow eyes, and yep they where definitely puppy eyes. Sandy had no idea a tiger could do that.
'Huh, weird' she thought.
But she still had to object.
"But don't you think a tiger is a bit Sueish? And what if we go to a place that doesn't have tigers? Like Lord of the Rings or Star Wars?"
Mac just smiled.
"Easy! We can just change it into a cat or any other animal that would fit into that universe just like we do to you. And when the time comes he can change back for the take down. It's a nifty little feature we just added."
Sandy looked at the two again. Then, signing in defeat, she nodded.
"Fine, we can have the tiger."
"YAY!!!!" she hugged Sandy. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!"
Alice let go of Sandy and ran back to the cage and opened it. The tiger stretched out, its claws unsheathing themselves. Sandy gulped. She never liked cats, Or any other feline. But she wanted to make up for calling Alice short earlier, so a tiger it was.
"Wise choice, most Sues have something like wolves or unicorns, a tiger would be perfect for taking down a big animal like that. And they're very smart, unlike those Sue animals. So as long as you keep him well fed he should be fine."
As Alice was busy petting her new pet Sandy was getting the details of their new mission.
"So Mac where are we off to this time?"
"Final Fantasy VII"
Alice stopped what she was doing and let out a small squeal.
"You're joking right!? My first mission gets to be to Final Fantasy VII!? Totally cool!!" she did a little dance.
"Don't be too happy, Final Fantasy VII has some pretty nasty Sues there."
Alice stopped dancing looking disappointed. Then she smiled again.
"Yay! My first Sue kill will be in Final Fantasy VII!" and she went right back to her dance.
Sandy couldn't help but smile, she liked people who couldn't be brought down easily. And Alice was quickly becoming ok in her book.
"Oh! I almost for got, David just finished making these." Mac handed Sandy something that looked like a PSP. the tall woman looked at it with a puzzled look.
"Mac, what the heck is this?"
"It's a Sue Scanner. It is able to read the Sue's powers. It can give you all kinds of information like there name, where they come from, what they are, and what there power is and so on."
"Ohmygosh, Mac this is amazing! Do you know how much easier hunting will be now! All we have to do is point and click to see if she is a Mary Sue or an OC! This is great!" She put Mac in a bone crushing bear hug.
"Uh! H-happy you like it."
Sandy let her boss go before she broke him in half.
"Sorry" she smiled at him.
"Now you two better run along!"
"What will we be going undercover as?" asked Alice eagerly.
"Turks."
"Yeah baby! Let's go!" Alice took off down the hall her new pet tiger closely following her.
"Alice wait you don't know the way!" Sandy quickly followed.
Mac shook his head. "I should keep an eye on this one." Then he walked away.
A/N Is there any Sue in general you would like to see killed and a way you would like it done? Like Cloud's twin sister being feed to a Midgar Zolom? Or Sephiroth's daughter getting pushed off the gondola ride at the Gold Saucer, just click the button below and share your ideas! Remember sharing is caring! : ) I would also like to thank my beta for sorting through my crappy spelling!