Finding Love in a Hollow Universe
Series: Pokemon/Digimon (with a homage to the Red Dwarf episode "Back to Reality")
Rating: M (to be on the safe side)
Pairing: Takuya x Satoshi
Description: After realizing that all of his journeys were merely a video game, Satoshi doesn't feel much like living anymore, until he finds love and meaning in the most unlikely of places.
Author's Note: I wrote this fic since I love Takuya and Satoshi and think they'd make an awesome couple, plus there is a severe lack of Takuya x Satoshi fics on the interwebs. Also, the famous Daikanransha ferris wheel in located in Palette Town, Odaiba, Japan (Source: Wikipedia). I figured that might be a funny mention in a Pokemon/Digimon crossover.
Disclaimers: Pokemon was created and is the property of Nintendo, The Pokemon Company, Satoshi Tajiri, et al. Digimon was created and is the property of Bandai, Toei and Akiyoshi Hongo. Red Dwarf was created and written by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor. I am merely borrowing the characters for personal, non-profit, fan enjoyment purposes.
"Pikachu has been knocked out, Ursaring is the winner. Victory goes to Paul from Veilstone City!"
The stadium crowd erupted into wild cheers and exhalations. Ash Ketchum bowed his head down in sadness and defeat as he walked out onto the field to pick up his beloved friend. Satoshi had been defeated in league championships before, but never had a defeat been so humiliating, so heartbreaking.
This was the first time he truly lost to a rival.
Ash and Paul looked at each other, as the the latter was awarded the League Trophy and inducted into the Sinnoh League Hall of Fame, while the former gave his 'congratulations.' But Ash was not in a congratulatory mood, and neither was Paul willing to be gracious in victory. Ash went up to shake his hand, as was customary, but Paul refused it.
"Now you see. Even with such platitudes as 'friendship', 'teamwork', and 'love', you still lost. You're weak. Soft. Purely pathetic." The icy words Paul spoke cut through Ash with each syllable. "You'll never make it to the top. You'll never even come close."
Satoshi held his tears in, when Brock and Dawn came to comfort and reassure Satoshi that he did his very best; when Barry even offered his congratulations before running off to fawn over Paul; when Mrs. Ketchum and Professor Oak called to give their sympathies and support.
But when Satoshi was finally alone, in his room back home in Pallet Town, he finally burst into tears as he drifted into sleep. As he drifted off, he heard two last words:
-GAME OVER-
There was a hissing sound and a swoosh of fog as the head visor lifted itself off of Satoshi's face. His eyes were blurry, and he could feel diodes and catheters placed over his body. He could barely move. A voice chimed in around him.
"For the last six years, you have been engaged in the total immersion video game, Pokemon. As with all role-playing games, you will feel a certain amount of disorientation upon leaving the game. This is perfectly natural and nothing to worry about, so in the meantime, please disengage the game-playing machinery and relax, until an attendant has arrived who will answer any questions that you may have. On behalf of Nintendo International, may we be the first to say, 'Welcome back to reality!' "
Several flashing lights flashed in various locations which prompted to Satoshi the various switches that allowed Satoshi to completely disconnect himself from the artificial reality console. A slight stinging sensation occurred as the diodes and wires retracted themselves from Satoshi and retreated back into the console. Satoshi slowly dragged himself up out of the console's chair. His muscles were weak and wobbly, a result of spending six years in a video game. He stammered and nearly fell on the floor. Only his grabbing of a handle on the console broke his fall.
A door opened nearby and a woman clad in a brown and blue utilitarian uniform and a badge that identified as an attendant walked in with a wheelchair. "Satoshi? Satoshi Fukuyama?" She asked.
Satoshi was still delirious. "Is that my full name?"
"Yes it is. Don't worry, that happens all of the time. Extended total immersion play always results in temporary amnesia. Your memories will return in a short while. Please, have a seat in the chair here."
The attendant wheeled the chair over to Satoshi who managed to get himself into it with a little difficulty. She turned around and the two went out of the room into what could only be described as a chasm. Blocks of console rooms, at least 10 stories high, littered the titanic hall on all sides. After about two minutes, they reached an elevator. The attendant pushed the button for the third floor. They were on the ninth.
"Where are we going?' Satoshi asked?
"The Recovery Lounge. You'll get your personal belongings back and you'll see a video that you recorded just before you entered the game. That will help speed along the recovery of your memory."
Satoshi didn't completely feel reassured. He still had many questions to ask, but those were ones to which the answers were not going to come right away. A few minutes later, Satoshi was wheeled into the Recovery Lounge. He saw about forty to fifty individuals in various clothes, positions, states of mind. A few were cheerful, but the mood was just outright gloomy. The attendant brought him to a nearby cubicle which contained a suitcase, a small couch, and a video monitor. She helped him out of the chair and into the couch.
"Your personal belongings are here, and you can play the video by pressing this button," she pointed to a button underneath the monitor, "there's plenty of food and drink here, just ring the call button if you need assistance in getting food or with anything else that you may need." The attendant smiled and then left Satoshi to gather himself.
Satoshi first looked at his reflection in the monitor. He looked just like Ash Ketchum, except a couple of years older and a little more on the scrawny side. Looking into his suitcase, he didn't discover very much, just a well-worn wool coat, a pair of fading jeans, a light brown collared shirt, socks, boxers, shoes, wallet, and a smartphone. He checked the phone for texts and voicemails. There were about only a dozen of them. 'Only twelve in six years?' he thought surprisingly.
He went through them. There were ten texts and two voicemails. Seven of the ten texts were from someone called Shigeru, mainly ones harassing him as a good-for-nothing fucking piece of shit and asking 'why did you steal from me after everything our family has done for you', but the later ones were one of more wonder as to why Satoshi hadn't come back for weeks, with the last one stating his profound apologies for being a 'total fucktard' and pleading with him to come back. The remaining texts were advertising spam. One voicemail was from some political campaign reminding him to vote in some election that happened a year ago, and the other was a wrong number.
Satoshi sighed as he put the phone down and turned on the monitor. He saw a younger version of himself appear on the screen.
"Hello Satoshi. If you're seeing this now, then you must be back out of the game and into reality. Hopefully, you'll be a better person and more confident than when you went in."
The Satoshi on the screen focused himself closer, "You were 13 when you started the game. Who knows what age you'll be when you'll see this. But, the reason you decided to play a total immersion game was that your life was, to put it mildly, shitty as fuck. You were orphaned when you were 5 and you were living in various foster homes since. At 11, you were put up in foster care with the Ookidos. The Ookido-sans were alright, but their son, Shigeru, treated you like shit and took every opportunity he could to disparage you, mock you, hurt you, and humiliate you."
The video Satoshi sighed, but then smiled, "When you finally turned 13, you could legally enter a long-term total immersion video game on your own, so you 'borrowed' " Video-Satoshi sarcastically used his fingers to emphasize, "Shigeru's life savings hidden under his bed and decided to lose yourself in the world of video games. You were hoping for a long-term game so that you'd come out as a legal adult and not be sent back to foster care."
"As for 'Why Pokemon?' I heard from various reviews that it was a pretty good game not only for kick-ass, but for building long-term friendships. Also the fact that you could continue playing for all of the new expansions that would be incorporated made it a good choice. I certainly hope your situation will improve whenever you leave, Satoshi. You really don't want to be a sad sap miserable for the rest of your fucking life because of the cards fate dealt you."
"I hope to hell this works..." And with that, the screen went blank, and was replaced with the total 'score' that Satoshi made in the game.
Satoshi finally started to remember life before the game. The misery, the feelings of hurt and neglect. The pain and suffering. But the game felt so real. He did make great friends, and he knew what was like to be cared about. Everything felt like it was real. It was real to him.
'You're weak. Soft. Purely pathetic.'
And those words, the last conversation he had with Paul. That was real to him too...
'You'll never make it to the top. You'll never even come close.'
Those words still stung. Satoshi still felt the pain. He knew, despite all his hard work, he had failed.
Satoshi tasted his first ever glass of alcohol. A shot of vodka. The taste was bitter, but for some reason, felt reassuring. Satoshi never felt this bad, even during the two years of abuse and suffering he endured from Shigeru. He had ran away and hid in a video game, hoping that everything would go away and he could start a new beginning. Hit the reset button, if you will. It turns out that he only just saved the game of real life, and he was now back playing it.
He ordered another shot. And another. And yet another. Sure he was throwing what little money he had left away, but whatever, it didn't matter. Satoshi needed to drown his sorrows. His bleak situation was made even bleaker with the fact that he had absolutely little chance of landing an actual job. Well maybe a minimum-wage gig that no one else wanted, but even that didn't look too promising. 'Why does my life have to be an absolute shit hole?' Satoshi wondered to himself.
'I need to start again somewhere, but where?' Satoshi then had an idea. 'Maybe Shigeru can finally pay me back...' Satoshi took out his smartphone and tried to call Shigeru. All he got was a computerized message saying 'This number is not in service.' Satoshi slammed his fist on the bar table in frustration, startling a few nearby patrons.
'You're weak. Soft. Purely pathetic.' Paul's words haunted his mind.
Satoshi placed some money on the table and ran out of the bar. He cried, he needed to vent out nearly 15 years of pain, misery, anger, and lost hope. He ran down the street, not giving a care to passers-by, traffic lights or anything. He just ran.
It felt like hours when he finally stopped running. He looked up and saw the oceanfront of Tokyo harbour and the Daikanransha ferris wheel. 'Palette Town, how fucking ironic that I would end up there, even if it is the Odaiba and not the Pokemon variety.' Satoshi continued to walk along the harbour edge. The tears still falling from his red and puffed-up eyes. His black hair, bogged down with sweat from running, now glistened in the night.
Satoshi didn't see as he bumped into a young man about his age with brown hair. He just continued on walking. The young man turned around and spoke fairly harshly to Satoshi.
"Excuse me, can you watch where you're going! You nearly pushed me over."
Satoshi turned to face the man, looked at him for a few seconds but then continued on his way. The young man went up to Satoshi.
"Could I at least get an apology-" He then stopped when he saw the tears and sadness on Satoshi's face, realizing that something was incredibly not normal. "I'm sorry for snapping at you there. Is there something wrong, buddy?" He grabbed Satoshi by the shoulders.
Satoshi didn't respond, he just stared at the man for several minutes before he responded. "Everything's wrong. But why should it concern you?" He forced himself out of the man's grasp and started to walk away. "Sorry for nearly knocking you over."
The young man looked incredulously at Satoshi. "I only asked because you were crying. I do care if someone is hurt, even if they're a complete stranger."
"Care, heh," Satoshi chuckled, "No one cares about me. What people that did, they never even existed in the first place. And why would you care?"
"I care because I hate seeing people in pain! Life is great and full of wonderful, fantastic things, experiences, and people! I can see that despite the pain that you're in-"
"YOU CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE TOTAL SHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH IN MY FUCKING LIFE!" Satoshi snapped and ran up to the brunette in anger. "DON'T START BY LECTURING ME-" Satoshi was interrupted with a compassionate hug. He didn't know what to think or do. This had never really happened to his before.
"My name's Takuya Kanbara," the young man said during the hug. "What's yours?"
"Satoshi... Satoshi Fukuyama."
"Well Satoshi, it looks like you could use a friend tonight. Want me to take you back to your place?" Takuya asked.
"I don't have a place. Long story."
"Okay then, buddy. I'll take you back home with me."
Takuya led Satoshi towards the nearest train station as the midnight skyline of Tokyo glittered and flashed around them.
It was a little while before the two guys arrived at Takuya's place in Jiyuugaoka. Takuya was visiting Odaiba for a friend's birthday party when he ran into Satoshi. Apart from Takuya hugging Satoshi a few times when Satoshi started to cry, neither a word was exchanged between the two until they arrived outside Takuya's apartment.
"Well, here we are." Takuya unlocked the door and led the exhausted and depressed Satoshi inside. "You can stay with me as long as you need to."
Satoshi hugged Takuya, took off his shoes, and went to sit down on the couch. Takuya went to the kitchen, spent a few minutes making some tea and then joined Satoshi on the couch.
"Wanna give me the whole life story?"
Satoshi took a sip of tea. He remained silent for a couple minutes, before he took a deep breath and told Takuya everything. From being orphaned when he was 5, to the constant changing of foster homes, to the two years of hell and shit that he endured with Shigeru, to his running away to lose himself in the Pokemon game for six years, trying to escape and make himself a better person in the process. And how he failed utterly and miserably.
Takuya pulled Satoshi into a long, comforting hug. "Satoshi, words cannot even begin to describe just how awful I feel for you. Why, if this was still happening while I was in a total immersion game, I'd spirit evolve and kick the living shit out of everyone who has ever hurt you!"
Satoshi looked at Takuya with surprise. "You were in a total immersion game too?"
"About four years ago. My friends Daisuke and Takato, along with myself had wanted to try out one of the various Digimon games. Those games themselves only last for about a year each. Daisuke tried Adventure 02, Takato tried Tamers and I tried Frontier. We all played the 'goggle boys' of those games. I could 'spirit evolve' into various Digimon and could then kick some ass." Takuya giggled slightly as he took a sip of tea. "Apparently, total immersion games take various aspects from your personality and history and incorporate them into the gameplay with a few slight alterations. It allows for each game experience to be different according to the person in question who's the player. We each had to deal with and confront various aspects of our personalities as part of the game. But they don't tell you that because that would scare a lot of people away and then the games wouldn't be all that popular."
Satoshi then had a realization. "That might explain why the game incorporated parts of my traumatic past into Ash Ketchum and his interactions with his friends, family and rivals. I wanted loving, caring family and friends, so that gave me Mrs. Ketchum, Pikachu, Brock, Misty, Tracey, May, Max and Dawn. But the game played with my orphaned past and never gave me a father. Gary and Paul were personifications of the torment, suffering and pain I went through during my foster care years, and Team Rocket personified the constant pestering of those years- you know, 'the more things change, the more they stay the same.' "
Takuya nodded. "That explains a whole bunch, Satoshi. But..."
Satoshi still remained silent for a moment, the last of his tears begging to be released. "Paul's words haunt me. I am pathetic..." Satoshi curled up into a ball and started to cry again.
Takuya pulled Satoshi out of his ball and stared right into his face. "No, you are not pathetic! A pathetic person bottles up his fear, pain and misery and does not reach out to anyone. What you have been talking to me about these past few hours should prove that you aren't!"
Satoshi smiled slightly, "You're right, Takuya. But still... 14 years is a lot of cumulative pain to overcome."
"Of course, Satoshi. Just give it time, you can't solve everything overnight."
"I just need to get something going in my life right now." Satoshi said as he finished his tea.
"Of course. I'll speak with Takato tomorrow. His family owns a bakery in Shinjuku and he might be able to give you a job. It's something at least."
"Yeah."
Takuya got up to take their teacups back to the kitchen. Satoshi yawned as he placed them in the sink. Takuya walked back out to see Satoshi almost ready to crash.
"I'll get a futon made up for you. Just give me a sec." Takuya went to the linen cupboard to get a futon but Satoshi interrupted him before he opened the cupboard door.
"Actually, Takuya, could I..." Satoshi stammered.
"Yes, Satoshi?"
"Could I sleep with you tonight?" There was a slight blush on Satoshi's tired face.
Takuya blinked for a few seconds in surprise, but then smiled. "Of course you can. I'm always here for you."
Takuya and Satoshi stripped down to their boxers and got into bed. The two snuggled up close together, hugging each other. For the first time in years, Satoshi truly felt safe and secure.
'You're still pathetic, you know that.' Paul's voice echoed in Satoshi's mind. 'You'll never amount to anything.'
'Maybe,' Satoshi responded in his head, 'but one thing is for certain: I'm not gonna let you ruin the rest of my life because you don't understand what it's like to care, to love...' "Takuya?"
"Yes, Satoshi?" Takuya looked into Satoshi's eyes.
"Thank you. For everything."
Satoshi kissed Takuya softly on his lips, which was immediately reciprocated back with equal passion. The two had gone to bed, but sleep no longer was at the forefront of their minds. Not that they minded anyhow.
And for the first time in his entire life, Satoshi knew what it felt like to love, and to be loved.
-FIN-