A Safe Place to Run

Snow was falling gently, blanketing the sleepy seaside town of Port Charles. Lulu Spencer was standing on the docks, looking out into the night. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying but she bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from crying even more. She shivered and shoved her hands into her coat as she began to stroll lazily along the path down to the Haunted Star. It was official: She and Logan were over. As she thought about it, she never really trusted him after he cheated on him with Maxie but after he covered up for Daniel, the real text message killer, it was over. She walked into the main parlor of the ship to find it abandoned. She set down her purse and jacket on the bar and sat down on a barstool. She came to the Haunted Star to be alone but she realized that she didn't really want to be alone. She came to the Haunted Star to find Johnny, but she knew that he wasn't there. He had no reason to be there. He wasn't injured like he had been after the boat explosion and he had made it very clear that they should stay away from each other.

"I thought I might find you here,"

Lulu swerved around in her chair and saw Johnny standing there. He was dressed in all black, like he usually was: black jeans, a snugly fit black turtleneck sweater and a black blazer. His hands were in his pockets and he was leaning against the piano that she had caught him playing whenever she met him there. His eyes always went soft when he looked at her. She always felt butterflies in her stomach when he stared at her, something that she hadn't felt in a long time.

Not since…

Well…

Never…

He walked over to her slowly, putting his hands on her shoulders. She couldn't take her eyes off his enchanting warm brown eyes. He then brought her into his arms and hugged her. She felt so calm in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his torso and snuggled in closer to him.

"I just heard about you and Logan… are you alright?" he asked, softly.

"I will be… I can't say the same for Logan though." she said, pulling away.

"I know… I could hear him smashing bottles at the back of Kelly's from three blocks away." He chuckled.

"Oh really?" she asked.

"You seem extremely calm about this. Are you sure that you're ok?" he asked, gently touching her cheek.

"Yeah… I guess things just haven't been the same since he cheated on me with Maxie but when he knew that Daniel was the text message killer and said nothing, I knew I couldn't be with him anymore." She said, standing up.

He watched her cross the room, watching how the burgundy sweater clung to every curve of her body. He had been alone for so long, locked in that mausoleum of a house, looking out at the outside world and then in stormed Lulu, loud, reckless, and passionate as ever. She was like no one that he had ever met. As trite as it sounded, she meant the world to him. She was his best friend: the only one who cared about him, the only one who believed in him. But as much as he appreciated her kindness, he was crazy about her. She knew how badly he wanted her. He had told her numerous times as he tried to push her away but the farther he pushed, the more she managed to wriggle her way more into his heart.

"I told you that he was no good for you," he said, smiling, but she didn't even look up or respond.

"Anybody alive in there?" he asked, walking over to her.

"I'm sorry… I'm just…" she started but Johnny just chuckled.

"It's alright, Lulu. You don't have to talk about it if you want to… you've been with Logan for a while now… you don't have to explain anything to me… and truthfully, I don't think I'd want to know, anyway." He said.

"It's weird," she muttered.

"What is?" he asked, putting his hand on hers.

"The first person that I wanted to see after Logan and I fought at Kelly's… was you. That's why I came here… I hoped that you would be here… I guess I was right." She said.

They turned towards each other at the exact same moment. She scooted in towards him, so close that he could smell the perfume that she always wore. The closeness was unnerving. She was so close to kissing him and he couldn't help but to lean in towards her too. As their lips touched, Lulu was overcome with passion and she pulled him towards her by the jacket lapels. She pulled him so forcefully that she almost fell backwards but Johnny caught her.

"Lulu… you know that this isn't a good idea," he said, holding her.

"Why?" she asked, still holding him.

"You know why…" he said, gently pushing her away.

He stood up and went to the piano. He sat at the piano bench and put his hands on the keys but didn't play a note. Lulu came up behind him, put her slim fingers on his shoulders and pressed her lips gently to the back of his head. He placed his hand on hers, gripped it for a moment but then set it down at her side.

"Lulu, please… don't," he whispered.

"But it's you that I want, Johnny…" she said softly.

"I know… I don't doubt that at all. We've been dancing around this for awhile now." He said.

"And you've decided that you don't want me now?" She asked.

"I've wanted you for months… I've made no secret of that… but you choose now to tell me that you want to be with me?" he asked.

"Is this about Logan?" She asked.

"No… you said that this has nothing to do with Logan and I believe you…" he said.

He turned around on the piano bench to face her. He loved the way that the dim lights on the ship made her blond hair richer and her voice was low and sincere. She had changed him so much. He was a gun-toting, cocky, impulsive, jackass when he roared into Port Charles and she made him realize that life was worth sticking around for. She was the reason that life was worth living for… she had put him at peace… as much as his life could be at peace. With the mob war escalating between his sister Claudia and rival Sonny Corinthos, he couldn't afford to put Lulu at risk. As much as he wanted her by his side always, his life was too dangerous and he couldn't allow himself to put her in danger by loving her.

"You know we can't do this," he said.

"Damn it, Johnny… I'm tired of you pushing me away… if you want to be with me and I want to be with you… we should be together." she whispered.

"It's too dangerous… and I love you too much to want you with me in the line of fire…" he said, not realizing that he had blurted out his true feelings.

"You love me?" she asked.

"I wish that things could be different… I wish that wanting you wasn't selfish… but it is… being with me is going to get you killed and I can't say that I love you and not want to protect you… even if it means keeping you as far away from me as possible." He said.

"Well, let's go away… you know… just take your car and drive until they stop chasing us or get out of the country for awhile until this whole thing blows over," she pleaded.

"There isn't a place far enough where we could run, Lulu. They would track us to the ends of the earth. I can't keep you safe." He said, turning back to the piano.

"I know that you would never let anything happen to me… all of those times that you promised me that nothing would happen to me… nothing did… you are the one person that I can always count on to protect me…" she said.

"Why do you insist on making this so hard?" he asked.

"Because I refuse to give up on you… you are my safe place, Johnny… when you hold me… or touch me… or kiss me… the entire world goes away… damn it, if you love me as you say you do, then fight for me!" she cried.

"I can't let you into my life… no matter how much I want to." He said.

Lulu let her arms fall to her side and she turned around. She bit her bottom lip to hold back the tears that were rushing to her eyes. She walked over to the bar and sat down at the stool. Johnny turned around to look at her. He couldn't explain what happened next because the next thing he knew, he was standing behind her. He swept her blond hair from her shoulders, exposing her neck to him. He kissed it softly while massaging her shoulders gently. He felt her exhale deeply and her hand caressed his.

"For someone who wants me to stay away, you're not doing a good job of driving me away." She whispered.

"You have a powerful effect on me… you are so beautiful… I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you… right now." He said.

The tone of his voice was almost a low growl but it didn't frighten Lulu. He swerved the barstool around so that she was facing him and immediately he pulled her towards him in a kiss. She placed her hands on his shoulders but hesitated when the thought of removing his blazer crossed her mind. He had always stopped them before they could go any farther but he stepped back and removed his blazer and placed it on the bar. She put her hands on his arms and noticed that the turtleneck that he was wearing could barely hold his strong physique. She thought that the hours he spent in the gym had certainly served him well as she pulled the sweater off, revealing his perfectly sculpted upper body. She started to unbutton her sweater and he looked on. As she wriggled out of the sweater, he put his hands on her shoulders.

"Lulu… if we do this… if we make love right here, right now… I won't be able to let you go… I won't be strong enough," He said.

His voice cracked at the end of his sentence. He looked so vulnerable in that moment, so frightened. She took him into her arms and he wrapped his arms around her slim torso. His dark brown hair smelled like the crisp salty air that blanketed the docks this time of year. She brought his face up to hers and she gently kissed his forehead.

"I don't want you to let me go… I want you to hold onto me so tightly that I can't breathe… let me be your safe place, Johnny." She whispered, bringing his lips towards hers.

He met her lips with a fury, picking her thin frame up into his arms. The weight of her in his arms was unnerving. She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him deeply. Her lips moved to his neck. He felt his entire body shudder and he knelt down on the soft carpeted floor of the ship. She leaned back so that she was lying underneath him. His eyes dark brown eyes were smoldering, the intensity of his stare was piercing. As much as she knew that he looked attractive when he was abrasive and brooding, he was so beautiful when he looked at her with passion in his eyes. She crushed her lips against his as she reached for the zipper of his jeans. He twisted her fine blonde hair in his fingers and let it slip through his fingers like sand. He suddenly became tense, almost nervous and she kissed him lightly on the lips as to ease his fears.

"Hey… don't shut down on me, ok?" she whispered in his ear.

"I love you… so much." He said in between kisses.

He was so gentle with her that night. In the back of her mind, she thought that he would be aggressive considering his upbringing, but he wasn't. It was like their bodies were completely in-sync with each other, sensing the other's needs. He took his time with her, drawing out every moment in exquisite agony, as if it was going to be their last time together. His hands and his lips admired every inch of her body and she did the same to him. With every sweep of her soft hair against his skin and with every soft kiss she planted on his body, he could feel this burning sensation building up inside of him. He felt her grip on his arm tighten and felt a sense of urgency in her kiss and guessed that she felt the same. His hands moved from her hips to her face as he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her slowly and sweetly. She suddenly arched her back and exhaled sharply.

"Johnny," she gasped.

She could barely get the words out. She felt herself being pulled towards him, his lips capturing hers. His lips parted and she felt his ragged breath in his kiss. He put his hands back on her waist and pulled her closer. She bore her fingers into his back and couldn't hold back anymore. She writhed in his arms and cried out sharply. He put his forehead on her neck and she felt his entire body tense up. She could only hear a small groan betray his lips before he loosened up and collapsed in her arms, trembling from his release. She held him tightly as they laid there in silence, feeling each other's racing heartbeats against each other's skin and each other's heavy breathing. He lifted his head to look at her. His eyes were weary but content and he kissed her gently. She held his face in her hands and sweetly kissed him on the forehead and gently swept the sweat off his brow. He lifted his head and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but the moment was already perfect.

Lulu woke up on the soft carpet floor, with a blanket wrapped around her. Johnny was sitting at the piano, just wearing his jeans and with his hair adorably messy, playing Clair de Lune softly. She had seen it used in movies and on TV but there was something special about when he played it. Maybe it was because he looked so damn cute when he concentrated on the notes. He looked over at her and smiled warmly. Springing off the piano bench, he went to her side immediately and kissed her.

"I'm sorry… did I wake you?" he asked, touching her cheek.

"Yeah, you kinda did… but it's ok. If I could wake up every morning to your piano playing, it would make every day absolutely perfect." She said dreamily.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm amazing… and so are you." She said, smiling.

"Well, I could've told you that." He laughed.

She hit him on the shoulder jokingly and he immediately began tickling her. They both laughed as he pinned her down and held her underneath him. Their laughs died away and he bent over and kissed her sweetly on her lips. He pulled away from her slowly but she reached out for him again and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Wait," he said, suddenly pulling away.

"Wha—Why? Have you changed your mind about us?" she asked.

"No! Of course not… after tonight… I couldn't even think about giving you up." He said softly.

"Then what is it?" she asked, placing her hand on his chest.

He reached around his neck to unhook his mother's necklace and held it in his hand. He looked to the necklace and then to her. He smiled and swept her blond hair from her shoulders. She pulled her hair up and let him wrap the thin silver chain around her neck.

"Your mother's necklace," she exhaled.

"I want you to have it," he said.

"Are you sure?" she said, smiling.

"I gave it to you before and I didn't even like you half as much as I do now." He laughed.

"That is true," she said.

"It belonged to the most important woman in my life… years ago… and I want you to have it because you are the most important woman in my life now." He said.

She was so touched by his words. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. She held the charm in her delicate fingers and leaned against Johnny's chest. He exhaled deeply and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her fair colored hair.

"I love you, Johnny Zacchara." She whispered.

He smiled and lifted his head up at the admission. He looked down at her, as to say something but she had fallen asleep, curled up in his lap with her hand on his chest. She had felt safe enough to fall asleep in his arms and that was all that he ever wanted, for her to feel safe with him.

…and that was all that mattered.