An Ex-watcher's Revenge
Disclaimer: Not Joss, don't own anything, make no money off of this story. Got it? Good now we can continue the party.
"Oh dear lord!"
Hearing the sharp exclamation coming from Buffy, Willow looked over at Rupert Giles who continued to prepare tea as if nothing had happened.
"Aren't you the slightest bit concerned?" Willow asked Rupert.
"That was an amused 'Oh dear lord' not a worried one." Rupert explained.
When Willow raised a blonde eyebrow and regarded him with a quizzical expression he smiled.
"After twenty years, Willow I would think you'd be able to tell this as well as myself."
Before Willow could respond or Rupert could continue they heard the front door open and the last two members of their group Xander and Tara entered.
"What do you want to drink?" Willow asked the two new arrivals. When she didn't hear any sort of response she started to ask again when Buffy's voice broke the silence.
"Ru, Wil, get in here now."
Startled by the urgency in her tone Willow and Rupert hurried to comply.
As the two of them entered the room they were met with the sight of Buffy, Tara and Xander all staring fixedly at the television.
Xander's face was a cross between confusion and amusement. Tara merely looked puzzled. Buffy's brown eyes were wide and the dark haired petite slayer looked as if every shock she'd experienced in her thirty-five years on the planet had all come together and come back to hit her again.
"What the hell is this?" Buffy demanded looking from the television to Rupert and Willow.
At her demanded question Rupert and Willow finally looked over at the television. Willow looked shocked much like the others but Rupert started laughing.
There on the television screen a very familiar story was playing out with a very different cast of characters.
"Who did this?" Buffy asked after he'd calmed himself down.
"How did they get away with it?" Tara asked at almost the same time.
"And how do we find them?" Willow asked immediately after.
Rupert took off his glasses and began to polish them as an excuse to give himself time to think. Whoever had done this had to have access to at least of some of the watcher's council records. The information the television show offered about vampires and demons was too accurate to be coincidence and the battle between vampire slayer and vampire currently on screen was identical to one of Buffy's battles the first year they were together as watcher and slayer in Sunnydale. Other than that however everything was wrong.
First of all, his petite dark haired slayer was not now and had never been a bottle blonde with a fashion sense for clothing that made her look like a street walker. Secondly, she was not nearly as abusive to the English language as the on screen slayer. Secondly, Willow was not a tiny, shy, redheaded academic nerd. The tall blonde woman was intelligent but had more than enough confidence for any situation. Xander on screen had dark hair but that was where the resemblance ended. Their Xander wouldn't know what to do with a skateboard without an instruction manual. At that time in their lives he'd been too busy studying to bother with anything mildly athletic. Not to mention, Xander was entirely too shy to have approached a new student at all. Strangely, Tara or himself or someone portraying any version of Tara or himself had yet to appear.
"At least they got one of us right." Tara's words broke Rupert out of his thoughts. There on the screen the man playing the character of Rupert Giles could have been his identical twin. Seeing this suddenly cleared up all of Rupert's confusion.
"That explains it." Rupert said happily.
"Something you want to share with the rest of the class, Ru?" Buffy asked her husband.
"That man is my cousin Anthony Head. He has a friend named Joss Whedon who was a researcher for the council up until a few years ago." Rupert began.
"He was made redundant when he accidentally damaged a manuscript."
"Spilling coffee on paper is a termination worthy offense? I knew I didn't like the council." Buffy interjected.
"He set the manuscript on fire. He wasn't alone and was attempting a spell that would increase sexual satisfaction. The spell had a few side effects such as setting a manuscript, the table it was on and the carpet around the table on fire."
"So this is his revenge? He gets fired. He tells all about the council and it's secrets." Xander said intuitively.
"It would appear so yes." Rupert answered.
"And the council allowed this?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"Plausible deniability. If it's on television it couldn't possibly be true." Rupert answered with a smirk.
"Okay people we know the how, the why and the who, now let's get down to the real question." Xander said interrupting them.
Once Xander was sure he had everyone's attention he continued.
"Do we get royalties?"