Date: Sat. 14 Oct 2000
FAN FICS..ATTACK!!
Authors Rant:
I'm bored, I have a idea, I can't write on paper worth crap *has HORRIBLE
handwriting*, so here goes my cute tiny little story featuring me (I need a nick
name..Ruka-Chan will do for now), my friend Crono(the-gender-changing-by-water mutt),
my goddesses Haruka and Michiru, Setsuna and special guests you just have to wait for!
This story takes place sometime in the beginning of Crystal Tokyo (if
you go by present time everything falls into place, thank goddess Naoko was a
SMART writer ^-^) Now after reading this pointless crap I leave you with my
story starting with a cheesy clichÃe.
It was a dark and stormy night..
Crono: "Can't you think of a better start Ruka-chan?"
Ruka-Chan: "No."
Crono: "You promised to write me in one of your fan fics, or get that Beans girl to." *Crono pouts*
Ruka-Chan: "I am now aren't I? Besides I don't KNOW Beans personally, I just
let you read some of her fan fics."
Crono: "At least I put you in my fan fic as a 'Bad Ass Lesbian'..."
Ruka-Chan: "You never finished writing your nightmare about becoming a girl
and bleeding on you hospital gown."
Crono: *blushes and looks down* "It was just a dream!"
Ruka-Chan: *coughs* "Can I get back to the fic now? Or do I have to hear
you rant on about my story?!"
Crono: "You better not tell anyone about my nightmare.."
Ruka-Chan: "Too late." *She laughs insanely then looks back at the monitor
and types more*
It was a dark and stormy night.. Lighting fell down from the heavens as
Haruka looked out over the ocean through the safety of her and Michiru's
bedroom full-size window. Michiru sturred uneasily on the bed knowing her
Haruka was up thinking about something that bothered her.
Crono: *makes fake snoring sounds*
Ruka-Chan: *a chair comes flying at Crono hitting him into the wall*
Crono: @_@
Ruka-Chan: "Now getting back to my fic in peace! Aww damn I threw my chair
at him! I'll just stand."
*Suddenly out of one of Ruka-Chan's odd portals she has almost no control
over, four nicely dressed women drop out and land on Crono who just woke up*
Crono: "Ack!"
Hotaru: " I'm sorry Haruka-Papa, Michiru-Mama, Setsuna-Mama!" *She gets off
them carefully not to hurt them anymore*
Haruka: "AHEM, I only allow _ONE_ girl on me at a time." She says sternly.
Setsuna: "Gomen, Haruka-Sama." *She carefully gets off Michiru but
*accidently* puts her hand on Haruka's face and pushes off*
*Michiru stands and helps Haruka get to her feet*
*While this is going on Ruka-Chan made a mad run for behind her couch/bed*
(So I sleep on a couch so what!)
*Ruka-Chan drags Crono out of there*
Ruka-chan: "I hope they don't read my story! I made them do some odd things
last time!" She whispers to the confused Crono.
Crono: "Why the hell are they here anyway? Did they know you were going to
make a fic about them?"
Ruka-Chan: "Maybe, but it was only for our eyes!"
Crono: "Maybe they think your somehow linked to Beans, and since she hasn't
written them yet they could get you too!"
Ruka-Chan: *face faults* "But..but I _HATE_ writing Yuri's!"
Crono: "That's a laugh, your normally drooling over the idea of Setsuna and
Michiru in very skimpy bikinis begging you to be their mate."
Ruka-Chan: "I do not! It was only that one time.."
Crono: "Only once? I remember hearing it more than that from your mouth.."
Crono said grinning evilly trying to blackmail her.
Ruka-Chan: "You baka! If they see my story now they will think I was
writing a Yuri and make me finish it!"
Crono: "I'd like to see that.. Anyway your goddess, your role model, your
inspiration is here, NOW wanting to look for you!"
Ruka-Chan: "To take off my head! If she found out I made her be 'Tuxedo
Uranus' she'll behead me with her B.A.S.S. (Big. Ass. Space. Sword.)!
Haruka: "Where the heck are they? I swore I heard my and Michiru's name
being typed! I must know if it's another story about me being in love with a man
or a Yuri!" Haruka demanded
*Michiru placed her hands on the desk top and leaned over as she read over
what Ruka-Chan had typed*
Michiru: "Your going to have to wait, she only has gotten to the depressing
'Dark and stormy night' bit of her fan fic writing career."
*Ruka-Chan clinches her fist mad about what Michiru just said about her story*
*Hotaru pulls on Haruka's arm*
Hotaru: "Haruka-Papa, why do people never write about me?"
Haruka: "I dunno ask Setsuna, she should know."
*Setsuna is over in on the couch sitting Indian style playing with a Taiki
plushie doll and Endymion plushie doll having them fight over the SD
version of Sailor Pluto*
*Hotaru skips over to Setsuna happily*
Hotaru: "Setsuna-Mama? Your playing with..dolls?" Hotaru says very confused
*Setsuna stashes them behind her back*
Setsuna: "What dolls? Now what did you want to ask me Hotaru?"
Hotaru: "Why do people never write about me in their fan fics?" she says
with those ooh-so-kawwaii-big-puppy-eyes.
*Behind the couch*
Ruka-Chan: "Because I don't have an ideas for the death child.." She
whispers so not to be heard.
Crono: "Should we come out of hiding anytime soon?"
*Haruka and Michiru finds them*
Haruka: "That would be nice." she says grinning almost to the point of a smirk.
Michiru: "We want to know what your fan fic is going to be about.." She
glaces at Haruka.
Ruka-Chan and Crono: "ACK! We've been found!"
Ruka-Chan: "Um..er, my story..well I was going have it be about Haruka
falling deeper in love with Michiru and have her do some nice things for
her for once.."
*Haruka glared at Ruka-chan and hugged Michiru around her waist*
Haruka: "I do many nice things for Michiru, I.. just can't tell you what I
do for her.."
*Michiru giggled and kissed Haruka on her cheek*
*Setsuna is making faces*
Setsuna: "I'll tell you what they do, they rock the bed _EVERY_ night.."
she said to herself gagging.
Hotaru: "What Setsuna-Mama?"
*Setsuna forgot about Hotaru being there*
Setsuna: "You'll find out when your older."
------
**Previous Night in Setsuna's room**
*Through the wall of Setsuna's room*
Michiru: "Ahh yes, yes! Rub harder my teddy bear!"
*Setsuna lays wide awake on her bed grossed out then covers her head with
her pillow face down on her bed*
-------
Crono: "Ahh yes the two love birds.." *Crono has Namek-like hearing*
*Haruka and Michiru blush deep red hearing both of them*
Haruka: "Uhh, well, uh er, *coughs* Next subject."
Michiru: "Aww sweety" she says calmly.
*Michiru kisses Haruka deeply on the lips and Haruka returns the passionate
kiss*
Ruka-Chan: ".........................AHEM!"
*They break off the kiss and look at Ruka-Chan*
Haruka: *thinking to herself 'She better have a good reason interrupting
me and my Michiru..'
Haruka: "Yes?"
Ruka-Chan: "Spare the stupidness, I'll write your Yuri." she says firmly yet
looking down with a light shade of pink to her cheeks.
*Michiru and Haruka think to their selves without knowing it* 'Aww, she's
so kawwaii when she does that..'
Setsuna: "Bleck, I'm out of here, come on Hotaru."
Hotaru: "Otay Setsuna-Mama, ja ne Michiru-Mama, Haruka-Papa, Ruka-Chan,
Crono-Kun!"
*Setsuna takes Hotaru's hand and they walk out through another portal*
Crono: "Wait for me!" *He smacks into the wall trying to follow them*
Ruka-Chan: "You know..I can make him a her.."
*Crono slowly turns his head around*
Crono: "Don't you dare!"
*Haruka and Ruka-Chan grin ear to ear looking like twins planning on
torturing a bug*
Ruka-Chan: "Haruka, Grab his tail! I'll get the water!"
*Haruka dives on Crono and gets a hold of Crono's tail*
Crono: "ACK!"
*He falls to the floor with a thud, purring*
*Ruka-Chan comes back with a bucket of water and throws it on Crono changing
him into a her*
Haruka: "Much better.."
Michiru: "_SHE'S_ cute." She giggles and smiles.
Ruka-Chan and Haruka "YOU'RE taken."
F. Crono: *dryly* "I feel so loved." *nervous laugh as Haruka glares at her*
Ruka-Chan: "Now what do I do, I've never written a Yuri before."
*Michiru and Haruka smirk evilly*
*Haruka picks up Ruka-Chan and sets her down in front of the computer*
Ruka-Chan: "Now where was I.." *Scrolls up*
Michiru slipped out from under the covers and walked to Haruka's side. She
could tell her Haruka was having troubles dealing with what Mamoru had
asked her earlier.
**Flash Back**
Mamoru: "So Haruka, how do you do it?"
Haruka: "Do what?"
Mamoru: "You know, Michiru's your girlfriend right, well how do you "Make
out" when your both the same sex?"
*Haruka looks very embarrassed and blushes*
Haruka: "Uhh, we've never really done that, all we do is kiss and hold each other.."
*Mamoru smirks*
Mamoru: "Yeah your right..I guess Michiru needs a REAL man to make her
happy in bed."
*Haruka is super pissed now*
Haruka: "Mamoru-San, if you weren't my king you'd be dead now. Just stay
out of my and Michiru's personal life. Goodbye."
**End of Flashback**
Haruka: "You make it seem Mamoru is a perverted guy."
Michiru: "You don't know the king very well Haruka, he really has hit on
me.."
*Haruka and Ruka-Chan exchange looks, nod, and she continues writing*
Haruka looked as though she was near tears in her emerald eyes which had
only cried when something happened to her lover. She had gotten into a fist
fight with Mamoru after that and she won, but for what reason? Michiru leaned
closer to her and hugged Haruka's arm. "Haruka, I love you very much, and I
know we have never "made love" together, but I want you to be happy."
Michiru said looking at Haruka with her deep dark blue colored eyes which Haruka
loved to stare into and get lost looking at her.
Haruka: "Who said we've never had sex before?"
Ruka-Chan: "It is only a story, besides it makes the Yuri part more fun."
*Cute smile*
F. Crono: "You're all nuts, making me a girl, tying me to a chair and make
me only wear a bra and a leather thong.."
Michiru: "I swear I had nothing to do with it.." *She hides the whip behind
her back*
Ruka-Chan: "Michiru, that's why we love you." *smiles and winks*
*While they go on about how cute Michiru is, Setsuna sneaks back in and
finishes the Yuri*
Setsuna: "A work of art, true brilliance! I am wonderful!"
*They all turn and look at Setsuna*
*They look over Setsuna's shoulder and read what she wrote, they all flush
a bright red*
Haruka: "I'm afraid to ask where she got all that information about a
Yuri.."
Michiru : "I never thought of THAT before, maybe we could try it.."
Ruka-Chan: "Hey wait! This was my story! And can I join in Michiru-San,
Haruka-San?"
Michiru and Haruka: "NO!!"
*Setsuna smirks and pulls out Michiru's journal and reads more about what
they do in bed*
F. Crono: "Kill me."
END
Tell me what ya think! I know I'm such a weirdo, but at least it sounds
funny. Complements and or Flames to:
Ruka-Chan
VickiRme@aol.com