Aftermath
I awoke at dawn, eyes burning with exhaustion, sunlight not yet glinting through our open bedroom windows of the townhouse. I sat on the edge of our bed looking back at my mate sleeping soundly on the pillows, I watched the rise and fall of his chest as he snored, I didn't dare wake him. We had been out all night with our friends Dining at the restaurant along the Sidra, dancing at Rita's, Well Mor and I had. It was after that, well into the night, that Rhys and I strode through the City of Starlight all the way back to the townhouse.
It had been the first night we had all been together in the months following the war, after the Politics, retrieving Bryaxis, and rebuilding things had just now begun to slow down. I breathed in the cool autumn air from the open window, the sun just now peeking over the mountains. Goosebumps rose on my arms and I picked up an oversized gray sweater from the floor that smelled faintly of Rhysand and pulled it over my head. I was half tempted to crawl back into the bed beside him but I was restless…too restless.
I strode down the stairs into the Kitchen looking out the window, at the garden, Elain's Garden, she had been tending to over the past months. Healing, gardening had helped Elain Heal after the war, and after what had happened with the Caldron. I didn't want to think about it, that black nasty thing. A shiver went up my spine at the memories. I reached into the cupboard for a mug and began to make tea with rose and Lavender thinking it would calm my nerves, the restlessness. I took my tea up to the roof sitting in one of the iron chairs to watch the sunrise.
Before I knew it, I was in the sparing room atop the House of Wind, I had been to restless, tea or not, to sit there atop the roof. It was almost to peaceful I couldn't Believe it to be real, I had wondered if only for a heartbeat that it wasn't. So, I flew to the house of Wind and began training by myself, the other inhabitants still sleeping. I was punching at one of the bag's one, two, one two. I felt the fire in my blood as thoughts from the war raged through my mind, the blood, the terror. Sweat Slid down my back and my arms ached but I couldn't stop. Wouldn't stop.
"You know, after last night's festivities I gave you the day off." a familiar male voice teased behind me
I stopped raising my brows at Cassian "I am Sorry." I said apologizing "I didn't realize it was only half past six, I didn't mean to wake you."
"Couldn't sleep?" Cassian said eying me closer I started to peel the wraps off my sweaty hands before saying "No I slept…Just not for very long" I mused "I didn't want to wake Rhys So I came here"
"Oh I see" Cassian Replied "You Didn't want to wake Rhys…but Its Fine to wake us."
"you're the only one awake" I snapped "So I don't Know what "we" it is your talking about" Cassian gave me a concerned glance and I immediately apologized, then I looked at my friend ready to tell him, about the restlessness and the Nightmares. He beat me to the punch, Cassian had always been one step ahead of me or so I had thought.
"Were all Different" He Stared taking a few Steps over to me the rising sun highlighting the colours on those bat like wings "I used to think, when I was young and Stupid, that the Fighting is the hardest part. It's not, it's always the aftermath that I find more difficult than any battle" I looked at him in understanding "Put those wraps back on…" He barked at me "since Were both awake we might as well…" He Winked at me and I only rolled my eyes in response, but I didn't tell him about the nightmares that chased me from sleep, or the feeling in the pit of my stomach like something was Coming.
It was Mid-morning by the time I had gone back to the townhouse, I had spent almost the entirety of the Morning training with Cassian, I winnowed straight to mine and Rhysand's private bathing room, my body slick with sweat and already aching with every step. I started a warm bath and peeled of my clothes not even bothering to shut the door. The warmth of the bath Soothed my muscles it wasn't till then I had realized how tired I was. Exhausted I closed my eyes for heartbeat before I smelled him, that Citrus and Salt Scent.
"You were gone when I woke" He said Leaning against the doorway he was still in his night clothes long loose pants dark as the night and no shirt of course. Heaven forbid my mate sleep with a shirt on.
"I was training with Cassian, up at the house" I responded Sitting up in the tub which had more recently been modified to not only accommodate Illyrian wings but could now fit two people. My mind wandered for a moment to Nesta. Those words she had muttered all those months ago about having to dump buckets of water on herself to get clean so she wouldn't have to be submerged again.
"Cassian? Awake this early, I thought you two wouldn't have trained today after last night" He said breaking my thought as he moved toward the bathtub. "We were both awake, so we figured we might as well" I replied as he took the remainder of his clothes off sliding into the tub behind me I made room and leaned back into him. He winced and I turned Immediately Assessing him for Injuries notes of panic in my eyes. "How on earth can you possibly think that this bath is warm and not Scalding" He cried out and I gave him a rye look. He laughed and pressed his lips to my shoulder placing tiny kisses all the way up my neck.
"Have you heard anything, from the other High Lord's" I asked biting my lip as his fingers caressed my inner thighs "No" His muffled reply came from behind me. I gasped fingers grazed that sensitive area and then slid inside me "Rhys" I breathed. "Can it wait till after breakfast I am Starving" He growled biting that sensitive flesh on my earlobe. My back arched against him, my body moving in time with his fingers, I moaned as he began stroking my breast with his other hand. "Rhysand" I gasped aloud as my climax shattered into me, Rhys growled in satisfaction at my limp body panting from the pleasure he had wrung from me.
"I told you I was Hungry" Were his only words as he picked me up from the bathtub and carried me back to our bed, my body Aching for him.
We came downstairs hand in hand to find Mor in the dining area a spread of delicious breakfast meat on the table before her. She lifted her mug to her lips, looking not at all hungover or like she had spent the whole night drinking and dancing.
"You look like hell." She said Staring at me, silently noting the Exhaustion on my face I took a seat next to her Rhys Walking to the Kitchen to find Coffee.
"Not everyone can look as perky as you Mor, after dancing all night."
She laughed "You left Rita's long before I did, I had assumed you both went back to the townhouse, I guess there wasn't much sleeping involved" She teased
"I didn't hear you come home." I cast a glance at her, the look she gave me was enough for me to know exactly where she has been after leaving Rita's. Rhysand came back into the dining with a silver canister filled with warm coffee I smiled at him as he took the seat across from me, piling breakfast meats and Eggs onto his plate "I am meeting with the Priestesses-"
"I am coming with you" I cut him off answering the question I was sure he was asking me but he gave me a wary look but turned his attention to Mor "The Governesses, will you meet with them in my place, they have concerns about the Court of Nightmares that is to be discussed" Mor rolled her eyes but murmured "I'll go."
We sat in silence for a long moment before Cassian came bursting through the door Azriel Soon to Follow "Did you leave us any food?!" he shouted, "I am Starved!" Mor Rolled her eyes as Cassian pulled up a seat at the end of the table Azriel taking the Seat next to Rhysand. Cassian immediately began piling food onto his plate and straight into his mouth
"You know Cassian; you could chew your food before you Swallow." Rhys started Azriel began Piling food onto his plate as well, inhaling it without a second thought. I cast an annoyed glance at Mor "You Illyrians are Insufferable." I said watching them scarf down half of the breakfast table.
"You wouldn't be saying things like that if we were discussing wingspan" Rhysand crooned, I shot Him a vulgar gesture and Azriel almost choked on his breakfast.
"There is the Feyre I adore, where has she been all morning?" He mused
"Prick" I shot back getting up from the table and sauntering into the kitchen, I put my hand on the counter, blood boiling. Something was wrong I knew that something was wrong and I couldn't put my finger on it. I overheard Rhysand mention something to Cassian about visiting the Illyarian camps, I felt a slight caress along the bond along my inner shields, I left them up I didn't need my mate seeing the inside if my head right now, not today I was a mess this morning. I took a deep breath in and out cooling that fire in my veins. I left the kitchen, Rhysand still in the dining area speaking with his general and spymaster about other territories across the sea as I walked out to the small garden.
"You never come out here Feyre, What's going on?" Mor was looking down at me in her normal Night Court attire long blonde hair shining in the mid-morning sun.
"Your High Lady can't sit outside without being questioned?" I mused mustering up whatever mask didn't show her how I was feeling
"I have NEVER seen you snap and Rhys like that, let alone run off afterwards" She countered sitting on the bench beside me. I looked at her, my family, I knew I couldn't hide the way I felt from them for long but they were all so happy after this war. I didn't want to ruin their happiness.
"What was it like?" I said Mor gave me a questioning look "After the war I mean, was it different? Did you feel different?" I asked
Mor Chuckled "of course it is, war doesn't just change an area, it changes people Feyre. We were all different back then, young and arrogant, but war did change us all of us." She looked at me understanding in her eyes "it's not a bad thing, your different, I am different, even Rhysand has changed. We all have, don't hide it Feyre, talk to Rhys." I smiled at her in thanks lifting the mood a little I said, "So who did you go home with last night?" I taunted her
She laughed at me "Actually..." She said lost in thought "I didn't go home with anyone, I danced, all night almost. Then I walked through the city with Cass and Az. They flew to the House of Wind while it was still dark. I wanted to stay under the stars just a little longer." The look my friend and third in Command gave me was by far the most beautiful thing I had seen on her. Happy and free, and somewhere in my head I wondered if it had to do with the weight that had been lifted from her chest after telling me her Truth during the war. The truth she had long come to realize, I hugged Mor and we both walked back into the townhouse ready to start our duties for the day.