Title- Tom Cat

Author- Safire

Rating- Currently, PG, eventual hard R

Summary- Kirk/Spock. Kirk mistakes a priestess for a prostitute and gets turned into a cat. McCoy and Spock search for answers. Slash.

Author's Notes- Trekkie picking is welcomed - characters are based on my own foggy memory of the Star Trek I saw as a kid and the movie release. Please point out any errors! I'm trying to get back into the head-space of TOS, so advice and picking is welcomed!

This WILL contain sex between two consenting males. Don't like? Don't read.

As always, please REVIEW. There is nothing more disheartening than seeing over 1000 people have read your story and only two bothered to tell you what they thought!

Not beta-read. Wanna volunteer your services – please do!

Disclaimer- Doesn't belong to me - Quelle Surprise! Belongs to… whoever owns it who isn't me.

***

Chapter One

"Jim, I don't mean to be rude, but-"

Jim smiles at her, all charm and charisma, "oh yes, sorry, sweetheart." He reaches for his crumpled trousers, counts out a few crumpled pieces of currency. "I was supposed to give it to you before, but I got a little distracted." He runs a hand though his hair, ruefully.

Alaaina stares at him, bewildered, the notes held limply in her hand, "what's this?" she asks calmly, putting all the effort she can into making sure her voice is level and controlled.

Jim looks uncomfortable. "Payment." He gestures vaguely, "y'know for the… entertainment."

"You think I'm a prostitute."

Jim looks wary as his brain works to catch up, "yeeeees?" he draws out, sounding uncertain. He hesitates, "but you're not?" he guesses, and gives her a smile he hopes will smooth the whole thing over.

He's wrong.

Alaaina stands abruptly, tossing his money back into his face. She moves faster than he would have guessed, "You. Thought. I. Was. A. Prostitute!?"

"No!"

"I am the daughter of Alaain Slyth! I am one of the three heirs to the temple of Anasath! And you thought I was a prostitute!?"

Jim holds his hands out in appeal, "I… wasn't expecting to see a priestess here! You know, all the … religious … things…" he falters, "I'm sorry!"

"You're sorry." The anger drains from her voice and she see's Jim's shoulders relax slightly, thinking that his apology has placated her.

"I'll make it up to you! Let me take you out for dinner." He looks at her hopefully "or breakfast?"

"You're a bastard."

Jim attempts a look of boyish shame and fails completely, "that is true."

"You're a snake and a liar."

His smile falters a little, "well, I guess you could-"

"You're an ass and a …" she searches for the right work, "a… a tomcat."

"Wait a-"

There's a sudden, unexpected flash of light, smoke curling up from the place where James Tiberius Kirk had stood seconds before.

Alaaina smiles to herself, feeling vindicated as the smoke clears and a little ginger cat yowls pitifully from under a pile of clothing. "There you go Jimmy. If you're going to tomcat around, you can do it properly."

Alaaina scoops the orange cat up in one arm, carrying it from the rented room to the bar downstairs and dumps it on the damp, rough wood of the counter. "If someone comes looking for James Kirk, please, return their property."

And with that, she turns and leaves.

*

Spock sits at his computer chair in his quarters, taking the peace and quiet of shore leave to catch up on the personnel reports. There are a few good things to be added this week – the new recruits they picked up are proving to be worth the time it was taking to train them properly.

His computer beeped. "Commander Spock, This is Doctor McCoy. Are you there?"

"What can I do for you Doctor?"

"Come down to sickbay. I think we have an issue."

"Is there a problem with one of the personnel?"

"Oh, for Christ sakes. Just get down here!"

*

Spock taps his knuckles politely on the doorway as he enters the medical bay. McCoy looks up, an expression of bizarre relief warming his features.

Spock frowns, "Is there a problem you require my assistance with?"

McCoy grabs his elbow, pulls him roughly behind a privacy screen.

Spock raises his eyebrows at the treatment, seeing only a small ginger cat on the bed. "Doctor McCoy, you are requesting my assistance to smuggle an animal on board?" The corners of his mouth twitch, belying his amusement.

"It's Jim."

Spock's eyebrows disappear into his hairline, "I am sorry?"

"Jim. It's Jim. The cat, right there, on the bed. It's Jim."

"I do not understand."

"JIM! You know, Captain James Tiberius Kirk! This is his ship! HE. IS. A. CAT."

"You are not joking with me?"

"Jesus! Look, can't you do your Vulcan mind… thing, and… tell me if it's true?"

Spock frowns. "It is not recommended on animals. It could be injured."

"I don't bleeding well care!"

Spock regards him for a second, "what has happened?"

"Look, Spock. You tell me whether or not we are missing our captain, OR whether he is, in fact, a CAT of all things, and THEN I will tell you what happened."

Spock thinks about it for a moment. It doesn't seem logical, but he decided to humour the doctor for once. He moves forwards, putting his fingers on the feline's face, pleased when it doesn't move away from his touch.

- - - -

"Jim?"

The images don't make much sense, but Spock is fairly certain that this is no cat. It's like a maelstrom of information and images and impressions. He remains still, a rock in a storm of emotions. He calls again, "Jim?!"

There's an odd sense of familiarity. It's not quite Jim's mind, but it's close, like a scent, it's getting closer.

The storm around him slows, seems ro meld and congeal and a figure emerges. Jim. He's in his Captains uniform and smiles warmly at his friend.

"Spock" he greets him and envelopes him in a rare hug. "I was hoping someone would be smart enough to send you."

"What is going on here?" Spock remains steady, unflappable. He hides his perplexity and the concern he has for his friend, who, evidently is now stuck in feline form.

Jim smiles at him, ruefully. There was this girl, planet-side. Thought she was a prostitute."

Spock's eyebrow quirks with amusement, "and?"

"She was a priestess."

"And now, you appear to be a cat."

"That's about it, yeah… Can McCoy fix me?"

"I do not know. He wanted to be certain his assumption was true. Can you give us any more information?"

Jim cocks his head to the side, thinking. "Anasath. That was the temple. She was one of the three heirs."

There's silence for a moment as images and emotions continue to whirl around the two, standing in the centre, arms still clasped.

"Is it uncomfortable for you?" Spock asks.

"Not really," Jim shrugs, "I feel like a human, I think like a human. I just look like a cat, which, you know, isn't really ideal. Not to mention, how the hell am I going to captain like this?"

"You won't." Spock looks at him "I will. Doctor McCoy and I will tell the crew you shall remain planet-side for a time. I shall take your position until we are able to restore you to your actual body."

Kirk looks crestfallen for a second, "Yeah," he sighs, "I guess that's logical."

"Remain with me at all times."

Jim grins as Spock starts to sever the connection, "Yes, Captain."

- - - -

"Jesus, man. I thought you were never coming back."

Spock blinked, re-orienting himself. "It's Jim," he confirms, feeling a little off-balance.

"Fuck."

"Quite."

McCoy thinks this over. "The crew are due back in the next three hours. We're due to depart at 22.00. What do we do?"

Spock straightens, "I shall take over duties as acting Captain. Jim will remain with me. I shall tell the crew that the Captain has been detained planet-side and we shall pick him up when he has concluded his business. You, Doctor McCoy will be responsible for fixing said Captain." He hesitates, "He will remain with me in my quarters. We can't let him out of our sight."

McCoy snorts, "and you think the crew will believe that you have picked up a stray?"

Spock raises an eyebrow and picks up the cat, cradling him in one arm, "Cats like me."

*

To be continued in a few days time with Chapter TWO!

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