Hi, Winged Ether here! Well actually, it's mostly just Ether. See I handle the humor stories, while Winged handles more serious ones, but since humor is really the only thing we're capable of doing, I'll probably end up writing most of the stories. So yeah, this is our first Super Smash Bros. story, so who knows how it will turn out. Roll the clip!
Where's My Everstone?
"TOON LINK! NESS!" Pichu screamed at the top of her lungs as she dashed into the training room, where Ness was trying to beat 15-Minute Brawl while Toon Link watched. Pichu's screams distracted Ness, who was launched by a Yellow Alloy and KO'd.
"Dammit Pichu, what's your problem?" Ness asked angrily as he returned to the room. "I was at the five minute mark, too!"
"Do I look like I care? I have a huge problem that's a matter of upmost importance!" Pichu yelled.
"What is it, then?" Toon Link asked skeptically. "You didn't put a Freezie in Bowser's shell again, did you?"
Pichu became very quiet. "No." She finally said. "And that wasn't me. It was Shade."
Toon Link rolled his eyes. "That's right, Pichu. Your shadow did it."
"Says the kid with four other personalities, one of which is his own shadow!" Pichu yelled back.
"Don't bring Shadow into this!"
Pichu stopped talking and started yelling down at her shadow. "I know you did it! STOP LAUGHING!"
"Can we please get back on topic here?" Ness screamed, then grumbled under his breath. "Why do I get caught with the crazies?"
Toon Link's eyes suddenly flashed blue, and he held his sword up to Ness's throat. "Want to say that again?"
"N-no Blue." Ness stammered, frightened of Toon Link's aggressive personality.
"Good." Toon Link's eyes turned green for a second, and he took the sword away.
"You guys!" Pichu whined, turning away from her shadow. "Help me! Oh, I wish Young Link was here. He always helps me with my problems."
"Well Young Link's not here." Toon Link said. "He's in the infirmary because one of Samus's charge shots missed Snake and hit him instead!"
"So, Pichu what's wrong?" Ness asked, really wanting to get back on topic.
"My Everstone is gone!" Pichu cried. "The one thing keeping me from evolving into a Pikachu is gone!"
"Where did you last have it?" Ness asked.
"I could have sworn I put it on my nightstand when I went to bed last night, but it wasn't there when I woke up!"
"Where were you before you went to bed?"
"Um, I was in the game room, playing Pokémon Snap." Pichu remembered.
"Then the game room it is. C'mon guys, the sooner we get this over with, the better." Ness said. Soon enough, the three Smashers were standing in the game room.
"I love this place!" Pichu said, looking around at the consoles and arcade games.
"Me too!" Toon Link cheered as his eyes flashed red. "It's so much fun in here!"
"Focus, Red!" Ness shouted, hitting him in the back of the head. "Everstone first, games second!"
"You don't have to be so mean about it." Red whined.
"Let's just help your schizophrenic friend here and go!"
"I'm not schizophrenic!" Pichu cried out indignantly, before suddenly turning to a lamp on a table. "I saw that Mr. Lamp! No one flips me off and gets away with it!" She jumped up onto the table and started strangling the lamp.
Toon Link switched to his "Blue" personality as he looked at the Nintendo 64 console. "Oh sweet, Super Mario Bros.!" He settled down and began to play.
Ness just stared at them both. "Aw, screw you guys. I'll go find it myself." As he left the game room, he was immediately crashed into by Pikachu. "Ow, Pikachu! What-"
"No time, Ness!" Pikachu said frantically, looking around nervously as if he expected someone to jump out and stab him with a knife. "I gotta catch the soonest plane to Hyrule, stat! Maybe lie low in Zora's Domain for a while."
"Pikachu! What's going on?" Ness asked, getting fed up with all the interruptions.
"Pokémon Trainer's got a Thunderstone! He's trying to evolve me into a Raichu!" Pikachu explained.
"Oh, I get it, but anyway, have you seen Pichu's Everstone? She, Toon Link and I were looking for it, but the two of them kind of got… distracted."
A loud crash was heard from the game room, and an even louder, high-pitched scream followed.
"MR. LIGHTBULB SHATTERED! I HAVE GLASS IN MY EYE!"
"Game Over? ARE YOU SERIOUS!" Toon Link shouted. A long stream of curses followed soon after.
"I see what you mean. Wait, you want her Everstone right? Well, aren't you in luck? I've got it right here!" Pikachu proclaimed, showing off the smooth stone.
"Why do you have Pichu's Everstone?" Ness asked.
"Hello, I just said that Pokémon Trainer was after me with a Thunderstone. I just took this from her room this morning so that I couldn't be evolved." Pikachu explained.
"Can I have it back? Pichu's kind of freaking out over it."
"I don't know. I'm worried Pokémon Trainer will jump out at me once I hand it over."
"Why do you keep calling him Pokémon Trainer? Why can't you just call him Red?" Ness asked.
"Do not call him Red!" Pikachu growled, suddenly very angry. "Red is the name of Toon Link's childish personality, not that freak!"
"Well if that's not his name, then what is his name?"
"…Ketchum." Pikachu spat out the name like it was poison.
"Who?" Ness asked, confused.
"Ash Ketchum!" Pikachu screeched. "That moron from Kanto that got me as his starter and dragged me all over the four regions! I hated him so much, and when I finally got the chance to get away from him by joining the Super Smash Bros., he had the nerve to follow me even here!"
"Okay, I get it, no need to rant! I'm just saying that you shouldn't call him Pokémon-" Ness began.
"I will not refer to that homosexual by a name!" Pikachu screamed. His eyes suddenly widened as he realized what he just said. "Oh Arceus."
Pikachu closed his eyes and put his paws together like he was praying. "I am sorry homosexuals; please forgive me for disgracing your name by daring to compare him to you."
"Oh, brother." Ness grumbled while Pikachu prayed. "Am I the only sane one here?"
Toon Link walked up to him. "Hey Ness, sorry it took so long for me to get here, I had to take Pichu to the infirmary. Turns out she has glass in more places than just her eye. So, any luck finding Pichu's Everstone?"
Considering how calm and mature Toon Link sounded, Ness guessed that his "Vio" personality was in control. "Vio am I glad to see you! And yeah, turns out Pikachu has the Everstone. Red's trying to make him evolve with a Thunderstone."
"I thought Pokémon Trainer's name was Ash."
"No that's just what Pikachu thinks. I think he's delusional or something." Ness said. "But the point is that Pikachu's not handing it over until we do something about it."
"If you guys want the Everstone so badly," Pikachu spoke up. "Then you'll have to do something for me. Destroy Pokémon Trainer's Thunderstone, and I'll give you the Everstone. Deal?"
Vio shrugged. "Sure, that seems like a reasonable deal. Let's go, Ness."
The two eventually found Pokémon Trainer wandering through the hallways, searching for Pikachu. "Oh hey guys. Do you need something?"
"So Red, you've got a Thunderstone, right?" Vio started.
"Yeah, I do. I've been trying to evolve Pikachu with it, but he thinks I'm some trainer named Ash and keeps running away."
"Can we have it? We need to destroy it so Pikachu will give us Pichu's Everstone so we can give it to her so she'll stop spazzing out." Ness said in one breath. Vio face-palmed.
"No way!" Red cried, gripping the evolutionary stone tightly.
Vio sighed. "Very well then, if we can't settle this like adults, we'll settle this like Smashers."
"You're not going to waste a lot of time with threatening or mental scarring, are you?" Ness asked.
"Nope." Vio said with a mischievous smile.
Vio kicked Pokémon Trainer in his shin, causing him to drop the Thunderstone. The cartoonish Smasher picked it up and walked away.
"And you face-palmed at me for being blunt?" Ness accused.
"Shut up. Anyway, go off and finish your 15-Minute Brawl of something. I'll get rid of this, get the Everstone, and give it to Pichu myself." Vio said, eyes flashing green as he finished.
"Why do you get to take all the credit?" Ness asked.
"I won't! I'll be sure to tell Pichu you helped!" Toon Link said. "Anyway see ya!"
After getting Samus to vaporize the Thunderstone with a charge shot, Toon Link told Pikachu, who happily handed over the Everstone, saying something about how "the spawn of the devil will bother him no more." After quickly running away from Pikachu, who began praying for forgiveness from the spawn of the devil, he entered the infirmary where Pichu was lying on a bed with medical equipment hooked up to her.
"Here's your Everstone, Pichu. Ness and I managed to get it." Toon Link handed her the stone.
"My Everstone, you guys found it! Hooray, now I won't evolve!" Pichu cheered. "Where did you find it?"
"Long story. Pikachu had it because Pokémon Trainer had a Thunderstone, so we had to get rid of that before he would hand it over."
Pichu nodded. "Okay, I really don't care where you found it, I'm just happy to have my Everstone back! Nothing could ruin this moment!"
Pichu's eyes fell on a stethoscope lying on the table beside her and started freaking out. "The stethoscope grew claws and an eye and it's speaking to me! IT WANTS TO EAT MAH BRAIN!" Pichu curled up in a fetal position and glared down at her shadow again. "I SAID STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"
Well Young Link, I have to hand it to ya," Toon Link said to his brother, who was lying in the bed next to Pichu. "She's quite the catch."
Young Link gave a painful shrug. "I kind of like the crazy ones."
"Yeah, let me know how that relationship works out for you."
Young Link glared at him. "If it didn't hurt to move, my Kokiri Sword would so be stuck in your-"
"Okay, too much info, I'll see ya, bye!" Toon Link left the room as fast as his legs would carry him to get away from his murderous brother and Pichu, who was still screaming at her shadow.