A/N: This is a sad little fic that I wrote a while ago but haven't had time to post it yet! In ways, it's sort of a companion piece (same ending) to another that I wrote called "Dancing in the Rain", although this one is more of a songfic. The song is "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera. It's not exactly a 'feel good' read, but I hope you like it! Please review :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones, or even these lyrics!
THE GRASS GROWS ON
The breeze gently caressed Temperance Brennan's face; her strands of auburn hair danced in the air before becoming entrapped by the glue of her tears. She would not admit to crying, or allow herself to do so. Rather, it was pure emotion raining from her eyes as if making up for a drought.
She would not take her eyes off the grass in front of her as she studied each blade intently. How, with all that was going on around, can there still be birds singing? How can there still be flowers sprouting their vibrant colours?
She felt his hand grasp hers gently, but she will not respond. She will watch the grass move. She will watch the grass move and not listen to the melodic mumblings of the Minister's voice.
"Max Keenan, though a criminal, was a good man. A man who loved his family…"
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I'd known what I know today
There was a bang.
With that shot, the world started to fade for Temperance. She followed the bullet's path to its deathly destination and felt her vision blur as Max Keenan's shirt began to be gnawed away by the red of his own blood. He dropped to his knees, and Temperance found herself at his side in an instant; cradling his head as he could no longer support himself.
"Booth!" Temperance screamed, whirling her head searchingly around while pressing her hand into the wound as hard as she could. She screamed Booth's name again and then allowed herself to take in the sight of her father in her arms. Temperance's father looked up at her blankly, though as if with a quizzical expression. Why am I here? Why did I leave you so many years ago? Do you forgive me? "Dad… dad…" She repeated while adjusting her grip on his torso. "Hold on…" she said, closing her eyes.
I would hold you in my arms Seeley Booth rushed to his partner's side. They had taken down the shooter moments before, but it had been too late. "Get an ambulance in here" he barked at another agent. "Temperance" he said gently, trying to coax the deceased man out of her grip, "Let me…" "No!" she yelled, resisting his arm. Now covered in her father's blood, she continued to press her hand over the chest wound. She was telling herself to stay focused, stay on task. He might not be dead.
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there
Some of the blades of grass are longer than others. Some have a yellow tint. They remind her of a necklace that Angela gave her.
Angela has grasped Temperance's other cold hand, though she is still unresponsive. There is no point in showing emotion; she does not want to be mourning out of a need to be dramatic or vulnerable. Crying will not make this situation more rational.
There are roses in a basket – they were always his favourite. Russ walks over to the roses and stares at the ornately crafted box in front of him. He places the flower on the casket and turns toward his sister, who is hesitant to look at him.
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this
"Tempe" Russ breathes. Only then does she lift her gaze to meet his. She feels Booth's hand again, his thumb gently rubbing the top of her hand. "He was protecting us." He finishes.
Her eyes return to the grass, and she feels the thin heels of her shoes slightly digging into the moist soil. She revels in this concept – she wishes that not just her feet would sink, but that she too could escape this moment. Disappear into the ground.
Just like he will.
She takes her hands back to her sides and feels the eyes of the onlookers on her. Slowly releasing her heels from their earthly entrapment she takes a step toward the flowers.
Traditions had never been Temperance Brennan's strong point; she'd never seen the relevance of placing a flower on a casket as a last goodbye. How do you say goodbye to someone who had done the same to her so many years ago? This flower will wilt and die, and surely its thorns will outlast its red beauty. Thorns as bad memories and red as good memories, her relationship with her father had been the same.
Nonetheless, she stoops to grasp one of the pretty red orbs and places it on the casket. She takes a few steps backwards and finds herself in the same location as before. Same blades of grass, same view. Same sounds, same smells.
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
Not that there was much of a crowd to begin with, but she could feel the people slowly dissipate away. They walked back to their cars and drove back to their lives. The minister walked by and said something, but Temperance did not listen.
Angela walked past with Jack; Russ walked past and offered a hug. She recognized faces and nodded her head to any questions that they asked her. Finally the faces stopped coming by, and she was left with the realization that only Booth still stood beside her.
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you
This time, it was she that looked at Booth. She opened her mouth to ask a question, but then knotted her eyebrows in confusion and dropped her head back to the ground. Taking this as a sign, Booth took another step closer and gently brushed the wet strands of hair off of her cheeks. Her eyes danced back and forth between his and he drew his hand in a familiar way around her waist.
"I'll take you home." He whispers gently, as if trying to wake her up from her daze. Taking another lingering gaze at the casket, Temperance nods silently. Booth applies pressure to slowly lead her away, but she hesitates.
"Do you think…" Temperance begins, and then clears her throat slightly; warding off the lingering effect of sickly emotion in her throat.
"Do you think they're together now?" she finishes, not taking her eyes off the rose that she had placed.
Booth was silent for a moment before replying. "Who?" he whispered, taking a step closer to her.
"My parents." She said simply.
Booth matched her stance opposite the casket and stared at it with Temperance in silence. The wind had settled, yet the birds were still singing their songs; oblivious to the humanly turmoil below.
"Yes." Booth said finally, now staring at the side of Brennan's face. "Yes". She turned to look at him, and sighed slowly before leaning her head gently into his chest. He raised his arm and nestled her head into the crook of his neck and gently grasped her limp hand with his.
Neither of them were sure how long they stood like that. She needed Booth then, and he knew it. She needed someone that would hold her up and keep her feet from sinking through the ground. She needed someone who would tell her that life would still go on, and someone to be there and prove to her that it's true.
She needed him, and knew as she watched the grass move gently by her feet that it would continue to grow. In his embrace, she stared down at the grass once more. Though she knew that her dream of having her father back in her life could never come true, she knew that life would go on. The grass will still grow.
Max Keenan smiled.