"What else do I need to know about you?"
Thirty days since she left Paris, Piper Chapman started her first post-Alex Vause relationship in a bar. It was one of many, and she'd ask the same question every time.
But unlike Alex, who would have ticked all the boxes for an ideal drug mule before and only asked the question for extra information, Piper didn't indulge in the luxury of 'extra information'. She wanted to know if the potentials broke her cardinal rule, and anyone who ticked that box in her list would get nothing more than a swift goodnight, followed by the view of her back as she walked out the door.
Otherwise, she had a great time with all the hot girls and hot boys. Her lovers ranged from those who were similar to her – affluent debutantes or beaus – to those she'd never thought to date before she met Alex. For the next few years, love and affection flowed easily between her and her then-lovers – they had chemistry, grand adventures and fireworks.
More importantly, all of them had traces, small and big, of the tall brunette who worked for an international drug cartel. Occasionally she'd find one who shared more of Alex's traits than others, and these were the ones who drove her crazy. They gave her extreme highs when they did things that reminded her of Alex, but the highs would be followed by extreme lows when Piper faced the reality that they weren't her past lover. Still, the sex was always hot, passionate and amazing – most will say that it was the best sex they'd ever had, but they'd never know why Piper sometimes shed quiet tears afterwards.
And so she had more turbulent relationships than she could count, and while nobody broke her cardinal rule, none of them lasted. After Polly's wedding, however, Piper thought about settling down with her then girlfriend, whom she'd dated for four months. On the day when they were supposed to go to the Hungry March Band concert, she brought flowers to surprise her girlfriend, only to find her high on drugs.
The bouquet slipped from her hands as she realized that the girl had broken her cardinal rule – no drugs, ever. Not even weed.
The girl, still high, didn't understand Piper's anger.
"Why are you so mad? It's not like I'm addicted or anything. I only take them occasionally; maybe you should try some too, to loosen up."
"I don't need drugs to loosen up," Piper said hotly.
"Well you sure need something – you seem like a free spirit and you always want to be different, but you still have all these rules," the girl said.
"What do you mean?"
The girl rolled her eyes. "Look, it's a small world, and we all know who dated whom right? Some of us just happen to know each other, and we know how you hate it when our work interferes with our personal lives. And I'm not talking about being workaholics – I'm talking about how you could lose your temper if I even think of checking work emails after 5pm."
Piper could only stare at the girl in shock.
"And for someone who knows so much about the world, you also have this unspoken rule of not talking about how you got those experiences," the girl continued. "Also, if you love adventures, why do you always make up some weak excuse of not being able to make it whenever we talk about going out of the country?"
"Maybe I was saving it for when we have a more stable relationship," Piper said weakly. "In fact, I came here to ask if you wanted to move on to the next phase, to, to find this."
The girl looked at her in surprise – and proceeded to laugh in her face.
"Piper, I think you're great, but I don't think you're ready to settle down."
"Why?"
"Don't get me wrong – you're hot, but you're a hot mess," the girl waved her hand. "Sometimes you'd love something I do, but the next day you'd get annoyed by the same action.
"You keep a part of yourself sealed, and you never want to talk about what you did or who you were with before you came back to New York. I don't know what you're trying to hide, and I get it, but this is as far as we can go. Trust me, whatever – or whoever – you seem to keep looking for, I'm not it."
Piper walked out of the apartment in a stupor. She did have who she was looking for, but she'd left that someone to deal with their mother's death alone, to cope with their grief with no support. And now she'd never find another like her.
She hated Alex then, more than she did anything else – she had damaged her, ruined her for anyone else, and none of the Band-Aids had worked. Piper was almost sick with despair and fear that none of them ever would.
"Lady, hey lady!"
Maybe she needed something stronger to burn off Alex's mark on her, like hydrogen peroxide.
"Hey lady, can you spare some change for my dog? He hasn't eaten for days."
But that stuff burns –
"Kid, if you don't want to get burned, you shouldn't play with fireworks." Alex had flung that at her in one of their arguments.
"Hey lady!" The homeless kid who kept asking for money was standing in front of her.
"Kid, if you can't afford dog food, you shouldn't have a dog."
Fin