Memories, too many memories, with every step coming up behind the great beast. He would not be taken home like a child nor would he apologize for killing his father. This familiar creature had been hunting him since it happened; leave it to his father to win the loyalty of something so formidable. Strangely enough, it was this beast's connection to him alone that caused him any hesitation now. He had had so many reservations about killing his father and nearly didn't have the strength, until the light went out. The darkness had given way to the darkness and he found ten seconds of insane courage he needed in order to do what he felt he had to to make the pain go away, to stop the light from peeling layers off of his darkened soul like scabs off of deep, long had wounds. He needed to cauterize the bleed that drowned his mind in his heart and stopped the true power of the dark side from coming in.
The Wookie knew he was coming and stood still, finger on the trigger of his weapon, braced. He stood like a soldier, a proud and revered companion of a fallen hero, but inside himself he ached for the boy he'd cared for; who'd climbed up his back by his fur as often as he could get away with before getting swiped off by Uncle Luke and getting his hair messed up by his mother. This boy, with whom he spent countless nights while he was sick so his parents could sleep, who he taught the Wookiee language to through many cups of water for gargling and coughing from the strain of volume. This boy, who he had let stand on his shoulders to touch lowlights in the night sky. This boy, who he played monster with until the child wanted to train instead. This boy, who, when he was born, was the brightest light in their lives and grew to be so dark so quickly despite having a wondrous start. This boy, who he and his companion had missed so dearly when he was sent away that they ran away from everything, diving back into the life they'd known before and never looking back.
Before Kylo Ren could strike, the Wookie turned around and shot him in the upper leg.
"Chewie!" Kylo screamed in rage and pain slamming a fist on the floor while the other hand cradled the wound, it almost sounded like the tantrums he'd thrown as a child when the Wookie would flatten him in a sparring match, only this time, he was on his knees, not on his back.
Chewbacca held his ground, staring down the boy he no longer knew, no longer trusted, and still loved enough that he wished upon him change, something, anything to bring him home the same sweet lad he'd been once upon a time.
Kylo felt like he was bowing to the beast now and it only stung his pride more than simply being shot by the same weapon and the same creature so soon after the first time. He sucked a few thin, short breaths of air through his teeth before coming again to his feet and standing as tall as he could and staring back into the great brown eyes of an uncle he used to care too much about.
The exchange of gazes was brief, cold, and challenging.
Chewbacca bludgeoned the young man with his bowcaster and stood over him, Kylo now on the ground holding his head and barely conscious. The creature roared the shared pain they had for seeing each other again, he roared that he would never stop hunting him, but he would not kill him until he was truly sorry.
Kylo got the message, and something inside him stirred in more hatred because, of course, his only persistent family member would still kill him if he apologized. The darkness in him glowed with excitement and he almost laughed getting to his feet again, the agony he felt feeding the dark force boiling his blood and he activated his lightsaber.
Chewbacca shot at him again but Kylo blocked, the bolt ricocheting off the ceiling above Chewbacca's head but he did not flinch. He fired again, Kylo blocked again and Chewbacca drew a side arm from his hip, a replica of Han Solo's old piece he now wore, and shot Kylo in the arm wielding the lightsaber.
Kylo staggered back, took the saber in the other hand swung it at his side in a couple quick circles, rolled the shoulder of the injured arm, and attacked.
Chewbacca danced back to avoid the blows but was grazed on both of his arms and one of his hips. He growled in pain and anger, teeth sharply bared and fists tight as he shot at Kylo again, it was deflected, and the dance went on. There was too much between them now to stop until the other was incapacitated or killed.
Finally breathless, bleeding, shaking, and barely standing Chewbacca and Kylo faced each other, staring, waiting for the other to make the next move while they rested a moment.
Kylo knew he should have been able to beat his opponent by now, he knew he could win with the training he'd gotten, but instead of using his tricks and the force, he had reverted to old methods, the way he'd always fought the Wookie, why? Pride perhaps played a part, but he was sure it was the promise they made to each other a long time ago, that if they were ever at odds they would face each other fairly. Chewbacca may have been his father's friend but he had Kylo's respect and never lost it, especially handling his father's murder the way he was. It was fair.
Chewbacca knew the boy was letting him off easy and part of him wanted to hope that meant the light was still in there, but he couldn't trust a theory, not like Han always had. It wasn't in his nature.
Kylo glared at him, any tears long since dried, only his sweat ran down his face and only his body shook, not his breath that seemed to never give him enough air. He was dizzy from blood loss as it was and he struggled to figure why the Wookie seemed so stable still despite the extensive injuries he'd given him. He remembered Chewbacca being more of a baby about wounds than this, perhaps it was his need to be cared for. He knew that Chewbacca knew how big and scary he was, so maybe being pathetic made him feel like less of a threat. If that was the case, it had worked. Kylo had no idea he could hold out like this. This wasn't going to end well for him.
The young man watched the Wookie who remained unwavering, staring him down, fixating on the prediction of his next move, so Kylo remained still to throw him off, unsure as to why the creature was suddenly being so patient. Was he waiting for him to faint? Cry? Change his mind and apologize? That would most certainly never happen, but that stare, those eyes, they seemed to reach inside him and remind him of memories, too many memories. With every breath they breathed before each other, he was remembering, missing, hating, longing, scared. Kylo roared a Wookie battle cry as well as any ever heard and went at the beast again, tactical and regressing into his training with the Knights and the rising Emperor. He didn't want to fight fair anymore, didn't want any more promises from his past, he didn't care who it was. He felt the dark swallow him suddenly, realizing that fighting fair had nearly brought him into the light. That had to be why the Wookie was just standing there; he saw that. Terror enveloped the heart, mind, and soul, launching the half dead boy at the Wookie who knocked him out of the air and roared back his plea for all of this to stop.
Kylo lay on his stomach, bleeding into the grated floor and could hear it drip on the pipes below.
Chewbacca huffed so heavily now he was almost growling with every breath but he straightened and waited, commanding the boy to rise.
Kylo hit the floor again with his fist, knuckles down, and used that hand to begin to get up. A shot from their duel, that had broken a couple of his ribs and gouged his side, yawned and coughed up enough blood to fall him back onto his face.
Chewbacca stomped over to him and picked him up by the arm he'd shot, dropped him on his feet, threw an arm around his hips and hoisted him onto his least injured shoulder.
Kylo struggled against getting carried like kill but the Wookie's grip was too tight and the more he fought the more it crushed him. He cursed Chewbacca in Wookiee tongue and summoned his lightsaber from where it had fallen away from him when he was knocked down. It flew toward his hand but Chewbacca spun them out of the way so it soared past them. Kylo force-stopped it in the air and brought it back, but it was in front of Chewbacca now and he kicked it away. The impact of his foot to the saber hilt made a loud crack and the beast grunted at the splitting pain. Kylo's use of the force had been pulling it as fast as a bolt and Chewbacca had blocked it with enough force to send it back the other way.
Kylo found a deeper anger and hatred and used its force to erect himself on the Wookie's shoulder and began to force-choke him with both of his hands knowing his hands weren't big enough to do so on their own. The Wookie's free hand, as badly injured as the arm of it was, swooped up and began to choke Kylo directly in defense. If the pressure wasn't enough to take the air away, the fur in the boy's mouth and the blood in his nose made it impossible. He was already too dizzy to fight the slipping of his consciousness and when he realized he was coughing he fell back over the beast's shoulder to catch his breath realizing he'd stopped choking the Wookie quite quickly.
Satisfied and without further patience for this fight Chewbacca carried him outside into the cool air and dropped him on a bush.
Kylo rolled off of it slowly, growling like a person and crawled some to get some space from the Wookie, "I thought you were going to keep hunting me until I was sorry." He taunted, voice raspy, nose plugged by blood; he spat and rocketed the thick liquid from his nose one nostril at a time trying to find a way to get more air in him. His legs were turning to mush, his sides burned, his rib wound had gone so far beyond pain it throbbed annoyingly, his right arm barely worked, his neck still felt like it was being squeezed and he didn't doubt he was bruised all over.
Chewbacca informed him that his threats before were just angry words and this fight was actually making him feel better in a twisted kind of way and Kylo actually laughed a little at that, as best as he could, "Of course."
Chewbacca found a new patience from that that he could lean on as long as the boy didn't try to continue their fight until they'd both had time to recover a bit.
Kylo looked around for his lightsaber and couldn't even sense it in his weakened state. He sighed, coughed, and wobbled to his feet using a nearby tree. "This doesn't mean you win because you're the last one standing this round."
'Of course.' Chewbacca copied him in Wookie and waited to see what Kylo would choose to do next.
Kylo leaned on the tree, savoring the cool bark on his forehead and attempting to steady his breath so that he could steady himself, "So what now? Are you going to kill me or keep hunting as you said? Will you finish what you started or walk away, because we both know I'm not going anywhere." The last part of this question they both knew had a different meaning while still working toward his inquiry.
Chewbacca thought it over. He had never really expected the fight to go like this. He had almost anticipated going down in glory and honor avenging Han in some way and joining him as part of the Great Tree. He certainly hadn't expected the boy to fight fair like this and his heart burned to know why he didn't give his father this kind of chance. At the same time, he knew the answer. He'd heard what Kylo had said right before he did it. He was scared and hurting and thought if he cut out the last piece of his life calling him back to the light that everything would somehow be okay. This of course, ended up not being the case. It seemed to Chewbaca that his presence too was bringing back some light in the boy, or so he hoped.
Kylo shook his head, "Kill me or leave me. I'm not going to apologize. I did what was best for me."
Chewbacca roared at him that they both knew that wasn't the truth. He told him to stop lying to himself and accept that there was nothing wrong with a little light. He didn't want Kylo to turn back to the light if that's not what he wanted- they all knew they couldn't make that boy do anything he didn't want to without cruelly manipulating him, which they would never do- but he didn't want him pursuing the dark so intently that he would destroy everything in his path either. He wrapped it up with 'haven't you realized how lonely you'll be? How lonely you are? How does that make anything better?'
"You don't know anything!" Kylo shouted.
'I know pain.' Chewbacca's tone evened out.
Kylo choked on an angry sob and swallowed more blood, gagged, spat, "You know nothing of pain" he gargled and spat again.
'I don't know your pain, you don't know mine, but we both know what it's like to hurt. I have always known who I am, but I lost you, Luke, I ran away from your mother just as you did. Then I lost my best friend to the boy I lost in the first place. I tried to kill you twice now.' Chewbacca explained, a strain to his voice Kylo had never heard before.
The former knight turned his head, keeping his forehead against the tree, but looked at the Wookie who couldn't even look at him anymore. A tear soaked into the fur under the creature's eye and something inside them both reached for the other. Kylo shook his head to be rid of the guilt, not for killing his father just yet, but for hurting the one family member that had always taken him for what he was and had enough confidence to tell him things- not insult him with 'you're doing great, keep working at it' or 'That was a little dark, lets tone it up a bit, shall we?' With Chewie it was 'you're being stupid' or 'that was just sad, get up weak human'. It was all in love but it was what he needed in the moments that he got it. Perhaps it fed his anger at times, but it always helped and the celebrations were always grand when he finally got the furry stamp of approval.
'All you did,' Chewbacca continued, 'Was follow your ancestor, wrong or not, and feel hurt by a severe lack of support. You felt betrayed by getting cast off like a contagion, and let yourself get talked into things you never thought you would do, that you were raised to believe were wrong, and so it ate you up inside, but you wanted to make your ancestor proud.'
Kylo couldn't believe his ears, "Are you saying I did right by my self?"
Chewbacca shrugged a shoulder and said something along the lines of 'Well, I guess taking it from your perspective, I am.'
Tears burned his eyes again for the first time since he had killed his father and instead of guilt, he felt a kind of peace. Someone in his family was accepting him, but that was such an Uncle Chewie thing to do. A child in his heart ran circles around the great beast, pinching and tugging his fur and yelling 'you can't catch me!' He saw the memories. So many memories, with every second they stared at one another he remembered. He remembered the time Chewie had held his head underwater for him until he'd go a little limp so he could practice holding his breath. His father had scolded the Wookie for that one. He remembered the time Chewie and him had built their own firing droid and it worked, too well. It turned on them and nearly burned down the workshop. They laughed that one off until Mom came outside. He remembered when his father had chastised him for wishing harm on someone because 'they had taught him better' after telling him the tales of the war as bedtime stories. It wasn't fair. Chewie's answer to his frustration of this was, 'humans' and shaking his head behind Han's back. That had made little Ben Solo snigger deviously and jump on him, "Let's play Empire and Rebellion. I'm the Empire." Besides the fact that Chewie was actually in the rebellion and should always be, the empire was always his favorite side and Chewbacca had never had a problem with playing that game. That should have been his first clue that Chewie would never reject him, he may not approve of everything, but he wouldn't hold it against him, he knew him too well. Chewbacca knew, despite the dark in him, the boy had had good intentions until he felt so abandoned and so much like a disappointment to his family to turn on them. After that, he was only looking out for himself, and maybe he was manipulated, but he felt it was right to follow the lead of his grandfather, if for nothing else, to be strong and show them all. Chewbacca always knew that about him, even now. He felt sorry then, not for what he'd done to his father, but what he'd done to Chewie by killing his father, for how doing so didn't help him, and hurt the only one who did right by him his entire life, so intensely, that he desired his death to some degree. The words 'I'm sorry' struggled in the back of his throat like a bad lunch and he seemed to sweat more under the pressure of them. What made it harder to resist saying was that Chewie didn't look like he was expecting anything in that moment but a moment to breathe. He had the look of someone who was ready to follow the lead, no matter where it led. That's one of the things Kylo's father had admired about the creature. He didn't have the nature to do a lot of things, but would do them anyway by his nature to follow suit like a soldier, either that or an extremely trusting companion. Kylo stared at him, slowly sliding down the tree until he was kneeling, leaning on it still, and the Wookie sat across from him, calmly, and keeping the same expression. Kylo shivered in his weakening state but felt safe for the first time in years with those eyes so calm upon him, so instead of 'I'm sorry' he offered a small smile, "Thank you." He fell into the fallen leaves of the tree, barely conscious, or barely alive, he couldn't tell. The Wookie scooted closer and set a hand on his head.
'You'll wake up.' Chewbacca promised and ran his claw through the boy's bloodied hair. He knew this encounter wouldn't fix anything, so he would let Kylo run when he woke. He'd let him go if that's what he so chose. There was too much between them for this to be simple anyway, and he refused to hope, but at least in this moment, he had his little Ben back as the lad slipped away into a restless, dreamless sleep.