Renji shuffled around the corner slowly. He could have sworn he felt a presence, but his 'phone' wasn't going off to indicate a hollow attack. He had felt it for a while now, and had decided that who—or what—ever it was, wasn't a threat. The best thing he could think of doing was getting to his temporary home as quickly as possible.
Just as the Urahara Shoten was in sight, everything turned dark.
Renji woke to the sound of chains.
As any – sane – person might do, Renji panicked.
"W-where am I?!" he said angrily.
"My, my, such a temper…."
He had never heard the voice before, so it wasn't anyone from Soul Society (because Renji knows every voice in Soul Society…yeah, right).
"Hey – what the hell!?"
Wait…was that… "Ichigo?!"
"Renji!"
"What are you doing here?"
"I was gonna ask you the same thing!!"
"What the hell is going on?!" They said in unison.
The strange voice chuckled. "Now, now boys…don't act too surprised. I think you know what you're here for…" She trailed off suggestively.
Renji blushed beneath the black bag over his head, "What…what are you talking about…"
She scoffed. "Oh please….you know what we want."
"Renji," Ichigo finally spoke up, "Is this…"
"I think so…" Renji said reluctantly.
Ichigo groaned. "Aw, man. No way…"
"You know what we want," one could hear the voice grinning, "We want Renji on top."
The moral of this – short – story is this: never underestimate a – yaoi – fangirl.