Interior torn
In know, I should´n t be doing this. So, how can I? I know, I ´ll be blamed for it, but I feel like I have to do this. I´m in his dept, for he made me, what I am now. Nobody knows, but he, he knows, and I. I hate war. I hate this war. And all of this bloody fight. I can´t stop it, but I can do something. I can decide, on which side I am standing. I hope, you can forgive me, God, but there ist one person, an angel, I love more than you, and I have to deliver him from his dark jail. Yes, I love Rosiel-sama, and I´m feeling bad for it, but he gave me this live. It has been Rosiel, who made me, what I am, who made me an angel, who gave me a chance to live. And I´m asking you, God, could it be wrong, if a son loves his father, and if he would be willing to do everything for him? I want to settle my depts in this way. Sp, please, please forgive me, what I´m going to do now, forgive me this mistake and don´t blame me for doing it. Perhaps this will be the way, to terminate the bloody war, that reigns in heaven. I´ve waited a long time know, hoping for your help, hoping that you at least will finish this cruel murdering, but you didn´t. This is, why I decided to set Rosiel-sama free. He is the one, that can bring peace back in Heaven, and also on earth. He´s the one, who can fight Alexiel, who awaked a few time before. So now I told you, why I must do it, I have no choice. I just hope, you can understand it. [Author's comment: hope that wasn´t toooo much feeling and thoughts???]
Rosiel is free now. I hesitated. In the end, I wans´t really sure about doing it. About delivering Rosiel - sama, I mean. And I´m still not sure, if it was really right. Though I´m feeling safe, when he is around me. Safer than ever before. Nothing can happen to me, if Rosiel don´t want it. But what if Rosiel doesn´t need me any more? Does he love, or almost like me? Do I mean anything to him? And does he know, how much he means to me? Tell me, God, I pray to you. But you don´t give me any answers. You never gave me answers, just more questions. And you don't´s speak to me anymore. Perhaps that´s what I gain, I don´t know. Maybe you have already judged about me. I always tried to do the best, to be a good man, to be a good angel. But sometimes it is so hard, to do the right things. So I´m back at the beginning of my prayer, back where I started. Unsecure, not knowing, If I did good, or if I mad a mistake. Not knowing, where I belong to, just following my instincts and my feelings. But there is one last question I have, an I really ask you to answer. If it is wrong, to follow his feelings, why do you give it to us? Why do you give us feelings, if you know, they will hurt us, if you know, they can lead us to do wrong things? Why do you annoy us? Isn´t there enough pain in heaven and in earth, that you have torture us like this?
Amen
In know, I should´n t be doing this. So, how can I? I know, I ´ll be blamed for it, but I feel like I have to do this. I´m in his dept, for he made me, what I am now. Nobody knows, but he, he knows, and I. I hate war. I hate this war. And all of this bloody fight. I can´t stop it, but I can do something. I can decide, on which side I am standing. I hope, you can forgive me, God, but there ist one person, an angel, I love more than you, and I have to deliver him from his dark jail. Yes, I love Rosiel-sama, and I´m feeling bad for it, but he gave me this live. It has been Rosiel, who made me, what I am, who made me an angel, who gave me a chance to live. And I´m asking you, God, could it be wrong, if a son loves his father, and if he would be willing to do everything for him? I want to settle my depts in this way. Sp, please, please forgive me, what I´m going to do now, forgive me this mistake and don´t blame me for doing it. Perhaps this will be the way, to terminate the bloody war, that reigns in heaven. I´ve waited a long time know, hoping for your help, hoping that you at least will finish this cruel murdering, but you didn´t. This is, why I decided to set Rosiel-sama free. He is the one, that can bring peace back in Heaven, and also on earth. He´s the one, who can fight Alexiel, who awaked a few time before. So now I told you, why I must do it, I have no choice. I just hope, you can understand it. [Author's comment: hope that wasn´t toooo much feeling and thoughts???]
Rosiel is free now. I hesitated. In the end, I wans´t really sure about doing it. About delivering Rosiel - sama, I mean. And I´m still not sure, if it was really right. Though I´m feeling safe, when he is around me. Safer than ever before. Nothing can happen to me, if Rosiel don´t want it. But what if Rosiel doesn´t need me any more? Does he love, or almost like me? Do I mean anything to him? And does he know, how much he means to me? Tell me, God, I pray to you. But you don´t give me any answers. You never gave me answers, just more questions. And you don't´s speak to me anymore. Perhaps that´s what I gain, I don´t know. Maybe you have already judged about me. I always tried to do the best, to be a good man, to be a good angel. But sometimes it is so hard, to do the right things. So I´m back at the beginning of my prayer, back where I started. Unsecure, not knowing, If I did good, or if I mad a mistake. Not knowing, where I belong to, just following my instincts and my feelings. But there is one last question I have, an I really ask you to answer. If it is wrong, to follow his feelings, why do you give it to us? Why do you give us feelings, if you know, they will hurt us, if you know, they can lead us to do wrong things? Why do you annoy us? Isn´t there enough pain in heaven and in earth, that you have torture us like this?
Amen