Psychotic Biotic Messages
Jack and John Shepard kept in contact after Grissom. Jack romance. Rated M mostly for language, cause it's Jack. I have no rights to Mass Effect, I just have fun with it.
To: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
From: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
Subj: Fucking Bored!
Fuck John. I'm on this damn transport bored out of my mind! It's been 6 mother-fucking hours! I actually miss Joker's crazy ass flying, at least we got where we wanted to – on time! Don't tell anyone that. Actually if you do I'll have to punish you, in only the only way I know. Son-of-a-bitch, I think I'm gonna to have to fuck-around on the damn extranet to waste time. FU – Jack.
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To: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
From: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
Subj: Re: Fucking Bored!
Jack,
Didn't expect to hear from you so soon, not that I'm complaining. Hm. Believe me, I'm tempted to tell Joker, but EDI may before I get a chance. I think she's monitoring my messages. I can't know for sure though. I don't think she'd tell me. Oh, and she told me some of her fondest memories of you are when you tried to slip-in indecent uses of the word cockpit into her reports to the Illusive Man. I wonder if any of those slipped EDI? Anyways, we're on our way to Eden Prime. I think I told you about it before? Cerberus is up to something there. Crap. ETA 30 minutes. I've got to go. I'll talk with you later, John
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To: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
From: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
Subj: Re: Re: Fucking Bored!
John. That fucking sex bot probably is snooping through your messages. Probably gets a kick out of it. Hell. But yeah. I don't think she caught all of my revisions to her reports. Fucking kill some Cerberus assholes for me! Damn. We're gonna see some action soon, can't wait. Even though it's just support crap, it'll still be good to do something. I'm fucking going insane just sitting on my ass all day. – Jack
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To: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
From: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Fucking Bored!
Jack,
We found a living prothean on Eden Prime. His name's Javik. He'll be helping us; he's part of the crew now. Hey, sorry I haven't been able to message you. Things are getting fucking crazy. The damn Primarch wants krogan support on Palavan, and the krogan want the genophage cured. I'm on my way to Tuchanka now. They deserve a cure. Could you imagine how many people would be pissed if that happened to us? And I think Wrex would kill me if I didn't follow through. Hope you and your guys are doing good out there, John
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To: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
From: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Fucking Bored!
John. Change the damn title of this fucking message! I would, but I can't think of shit. It doesn't surprise me that you've found a fucking prothean. You do some pretty crazy shit, you know? And don't apologize. Things must be damn crazy, if the King of the Boy Scouts is fucking using profanity. You know you hardly curse? What the hell is the deal with that? The genophage is messed, and if this Wrex asshole were to kill you, I'd just kill him. It'd be fun. The kids are fucking great. - Jack
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To: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
From: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
Subj: Fucking Bored II
Jack,
There. Is the subject title better? I can't think of anything either. Mordin's dead. He sacrificed himself to save the krogan. We'll be on the Citadel in four days. Have some things to finish up here. Sorry this is so short. Endless amount of bullshit. I'll try to write more later, John
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To: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
From: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
Subj: Re: Fucking Bored II
John. I don't fucking care about the title. Damn, I'm sorry about Mordin. He gave some wicked sex advice. Too bad. We were due for rotation in a week, but I got them to push it up a little. I'll be on the Citadel in 6 days. You better fucking be there then. We need to talk. - Jack
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To: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
From: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
Subj: Fucking Bored III
John. You fucking got better at dancing. That's something. Too bad shit was cut short. I would have liked to be in that damn room for longer than a night. Good thing I snapped a holo of your ass. We're going to a different system to help with evacs, they have a vid-call system running. That ass better not be torn off the next time I see it. - Jack
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To: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
From: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
Subj: Re: Fucking Bored III
Jack,
Sorry for the damn delay again. Tali just joined up. Also got the geth and quarians to quit killing each other. I've been reading updates on your squad whenever I can. You guys are doing some good work out there. Heading to the Citadel again. Business though. Still keeping that ass in top shape for you, John
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To: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
From: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
Subj: Re: Re: Fucking Bored III
John. You know that tech-head had a thing for you before Omega-4? Yeah, saw her checking out that ass of mine. Once I made it fucking clear that you were taken though, she started making moves on that turian ass. Guess she's not picky. I've been keeping tabs on you too. You're doing some fucking awesome shit. Wish I could be a part of it. Damn kids are useless without someone telling them what the hell to do. See you next vid-call. – Jack
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To: Naught, Jacqueline – Alliance Communications System (Portable Server) *** - *****
From: Commander Shepard, John – Alliance Communications System (Normandy SR-2) *** - *****
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Fucking Bored III
Jack,
We're heading to Earth. I know you're already there. I'll try to get into communication with you once we're ground-side. Been thinking about you a lot. Once this crap is done, we're going on a vacation. Somewhere not blown to hell. Maybe a deserted garden world. We can blow some shit up for fun. You know, you got me hooked on explosions. Oh. You'd probably like to know that I fucked up the Illusive Man's base. He wasn't there though, but I killed his right-hand man. That son-of-a-bitch, Kai Leng, had it coming. Fucking wish we could have gotten more vid calls through to each other. We'll defeat the Reapers no matter what, I promise. Miss you, John
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Audio Transcript:
Jacqueline Naught: Vakarian! What the hell do you mean they can't find John!
Garrus Vakarian: ...They... his body... in the... explosion... We're looking... find him.
JN: He better not be dead, Garrus! I'll fucking kill all these mother-fucking Alliance assholes! Garrus...
GV: Wait! I see... N7... tags... Spirits, it's Shepard!... He's breathing!... Someone... help... get him... Medic!
JN: You better not be fucking with me... Garrus! It's John! He's alive? Fucking say something you asshole!
GV: Yes. John. Alive. It's bad... Taking him... hospital.
JN: Don't let him die! You fucking asshole! Don't let him die!
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Audio Transcript: Temporary Hospital, London.
Jacqueline Naught: Fucking let me see him! You fucking assholes! John! John, can you hear me!
Nurse: Someone sedate this woman! Commander Shepard can't be disturbed. He's in critical condition. Chances are he won't pull through.
JN: Don't you fucking tell me what the hell I can or can't do! Argh. (some shuffling sounds)
N: She's out. Good. Is our equipment still functional? Good. Continue with surgery.
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Audio Transcript: Temporary Hospital, London.
Commander John Shepard: Jack? (coughs) Is that you? Jack?
Jacqueline Naught: Yeah, John. It's fucking me. Had me worried there you mother-fucker. Doc says that your damn implants from Cerberus are helping you heal. At least Cerberus was fucking good for something. You're gonna make it.
JS: (more coughing) Are the Reapers destroyed? I tried...
JN: Hey. Quit talking, you asshole. Yeah. The bastards are dead. You did it, you fucking Boy Scout.
JS: Is EDI alive? It said that all synthetics would die.
JN: (laughter) Guess the bastard lied. EDI's still kicking. So are the geth. The only thing that fucking happened, was the Reapers blowing to hell. Don't worry. You did it. Now fucking quit talking.
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