Frisky as Rabbits
Note: An Easter-themed Simpsons fan-fiction. It's Easter at the Syzslak residence and everyone has come to enjoy the festivities. Unfortunately, Elaine, Moe's dear old mom, seems to be sewing some wild oats in front of God and everyone and guess who has to straighten her out ?
Chapter 1—Cousin Benny Finds a Surprise
Grandpa Joe lived for Easter and looked forward to spoiling his grandchildren every time he had the chance to see them. Though Francine and Maury were growing older, they still enjoyed hunting Easter eggs and adored getting chocolate and other goodies from "Joey". Joe had actually turned into a sweet, understanding man in his recent years. After the fiasco at Christmas, he had mellowed out quite considerably. He no longer harbored hate and displeasure in his heart. He loved every holiday that came around, particularly Christmas and Easter, but Easter by far, had to be his favorite. It was something about the colors and the beauty of spring that brought out the best in him. Even if he did tend to spoil his family members quite a bit, he savored every minute of it and even felt like a little kid again, joining in the festivities.
Cousins by the dozens had come to visit Uncle Moe and Grandpa Joe. Some of these relatives weren't directly related, but everyone was considered blood no matter how stretched their lineage was to the honorable Syzslak line.
The fun had only just begun as Moe had finished setting the final egg in place for the Easter egg hunt. Lynn stood by his side, hugging his arm lovingly as she usually did while she waited to give the signal for the relatives to start their hunt. Whoever found the most eggs would win an electronics gift card worth 20. Many of the family members were technology enthusiasts, so they would be trying their best to collect as many eggs as they could to possess the sensational prize. Of course, there were those who didn't really care about the prize itself and mainly wanted to eat all of the jellybeans, chocolate and cream filled eggs they found (hopefully not becoming too sick to do anything else).
Cousin Benny had always been an expert at finding the most eggs, even when they were hidden in the strangest, covert areas. He was already well on his way to getting a Buy More gift card until he heard strange sounds of moaning and exclamations of delight coming from behind the bushes behind the house. There he found Elaine in the throes of ecstasy. Benny gasped, dropping his basket and ran to Uncle Moe to tell him what he had seen.
Chapter 2—Have Some Decency !
Even at that age, Benny understood what sex was, but he wasn't expecting to see two consenting adults engaging in some rather steamy love making on such a brisk spring day.
"They were frisky as rabbits, Uncle Moe…and probably still are.", Benny said. Moe groaned, and lowered his head. He couldn't believe his own mother would be caught doing the horizontal mambo with someone. A bit frustrated and embarrassed, he went to find her, still in the arms of the fellow, giggling hysterically at him kissing her neck.
"Mom ! You know better ! You of all people !", Moe said, blushing hotly. Elaine seemed nonplussed by her son's anger and casually buttoned up her slacks and blouse as if nothing had happened. The gray-haired man with her helped her up and casually zipped up his pants, brushing off stray lawn clippings from his shirt.
"I couldn't help it, son. I mean, look at her. She's absolutely stunning. What man wouldn't want to romp with her ?", the old man said, vigor in his tone. Again, Moe felt like burying his head in the sand and sighed. He was happy that Elaine had been able to find love again, but he didn't expect that love to be consummated in his own backyard.
"Maybe I'm being a bit too strict on either of you. Look, I'm sorry I ruined your fun, but if you two are going to be making love any time soon, could you please do it somewhere privately ?", Moe requested. Elaine laughed, realizing how awkward all of this seemed at the time.
"I was going to introduce you to my beau, Frank Beauchamp. I just didn't think it would be in such…odd circumstances.", Elaine said, suddenly blushing deeply. Still in shock over what he had seen, a dazed Moe offered the elder his hand and got a firm, confident shake. Frank was a gentleman, he could tell by the steadfast look in his deep green eyes. He was still dubious about Frank's real intentions. Elaine, the dear woman, had been hurt quite considerably in her younger days but with Frank by her side, she seemed euphoric. It was the first time he had seen her so jubilant.
"I'm really honored to meet him, despite the circumstances.", Moe said, chuckling. Suddenly, he was grabbed by Frank and held in the most sincere, earnest embrace. For some strange reason, Moe was comforted. Without saying a word, Moe came to an understanding with Frank. It was as if Frank was reassuring his 'godson to be' that he would treat Elaine as the princess she was and nothing more. Moe just hoped he wouldn't find the two of them in a provocative position later, but knowing those two little canoodlers, nothing was certain.
Chapter 3—Afternoon Delight
The relatives had long since left Moe's after a large afternoon dinner. Francine and Maury were satiated and lying down opposite each other the couch. Frank and Elaine were cuddled up together on a spare couch sleeping peacefully. Lynn was pleased her dinner had been such a hit. She had sat down in a spare chair and Moe had been tidying up for her as the afternoon soon became evening. There really wasn't much on television except for basketball. Fairly soon, it was time for Elaine to go, but she had gifts from herself and Frank.
No one was expecting Elaine and Frank to have gifts with them. Francine received some books and Maury had received free passes to the local zoo and aquarium. Maury had only begun his studies in oceanography and he loved every minute of it. It would be his second life's blood besides Moe's when his father retired. Granted, Moe still had a lot of vim and vigor in him and wouldn't be retiring for a long time and the bar would still be called Moe's even though he wouldn't be tending to it. The two also received more candy than they could shake a stick at.
"Grandma, we're not going to be able to eat all of this !", Francine said, chuckling heartily.
"It's alright. We'll share it. Besides, we all love our chocolates in the Syzslak line.", Maury piped up. He was being honest. Everyone in the Syzslak family was a chocoholic and that surprise was just as good as any. The sweets would probably last until late April at this rate, since they had never seen that massive amount of chocolate before in their entire lives.
Epilogue
The rest of the evening before Frank and Elaine left, Frank introduced himself properly to the Syzslak family.
"Elaine and I met by happenstance. I was going to the supermarket when I met her. I was struck dumb by her resplendence. I had a feeling I had met a unique young woman, one that comes along once ever blue moon. Seeing this opportunity wouldn't appear again, I had to ask her out on a date.", Frank said.
"It was as if fate had intervened. Once we started talking at the Krusty Burger, we found we had so many things in common. We 'clicked'.", Elaine added, gleefully.
"So, do you two plan on getting married anytime soon ?", Lynn questioned curiously. Elaine blushed, lowering her gaze bashfully. Frank chuckled, his cheeks turning pink as well.
"Actually we were planning on getting married next year. She's made me the happiest man alive. I can't imagine being apart from her.", Frank said, kissing her cheek lovingly.
"That is so romantic. I can only hope I will live to love each other when we are old and gray.", Moe said, admiring the lovebirds. Lynn sighed pleasantly. The two children, who were much older, didn't think this was disgusting but rather beautiful. Everyone was happy for the two paramours.
After the two left, the family settled down for the evening, talking about Easters past and looking forward to the days ahead. The weather was starting to become warmer, and life was starting to spring forward out of the cold ground. Everything was beginning to awaken, just as well as their spirits. They all knew tomorrow would be even better than even Easter had been and all the days that followed would be even brighter.
The End