Kanashimi
This is my 4th fanfic and well I was hoping that I improved in my English…
Hope that I don't get too many flames….
And well have fun in reading my story…(sorry for my crappy English)
Disclaimer; I do not own any of the gundam wing characters…
Warning:this story contains YAOI meaning boy/boy so if you don't like the idea then please stop reading AU and cutting
Why do i like to do this...
i dunno...
it's just every cut that i did...
it's entoxicating...
i feel like i wanna do it again...
the more deeper the better...
the pain? surely it hurts...
but the physical pain will lessen the pain in my heart...
oh!! it's preety rude for me if i didn't introduce myself...
i'm Heero, i'm 5'7 in height, fair complexion and have chocolate browm hair and Persian blue eyes... i just turned 16 this november...
okay so let me start my story...
it's like this...i was in gym class and is sitting on a tree when suddenly a gothic girl asked me my number...
i didn't give it... because i'm an anti sociable person...
after my gym, math and english classes i went to the cafeteria for my lunch...
i always sit at the farthest so that i'll be away from judging eyes... away from fights, bulliesz humiliation and most of all him...
you all must be wondering where are my friends...
well the thing is i dont have one...
i have no one to talk to, no one to tell my secrets and no one to give me comfort when i need it...
my life became a living hell when someone found out that i'm gay...
i'm not gay to be precise...
i'm bisexual meaning i like both girl and boys...
some people are just too hard headed to understand that...
now jocks always like to humiliate me... put me inside a locker and lock it... beat the hell out of me... and many more...
and ofcourse i have love problems... who doesn't?...
it's like this... last year...Duo (one of the jocks who are abusing me now...) was my ex boyfriend...
he told me he love me and all that S.H.I.T
but in the end... he just played with my heart...
i gave him my all but he just played with it... like it's just some kind of toy...
it hurts like hell when i found out...
and well i locked myself inside my room for days, weeks and months...
so back to the story...
i can't get out of the locker by myself so i just stayed there...
until i noticed that the janitor opened the locker and help me out...
i look at the clock and saw that i missed all my remaining class so i just went home...
when i opened the door to my house no one greeted me how's ur day honey? or how's school son?
because those people who are suppose to be greeting me are dead...
they are all dead... just because of a stupid car accident...
so yea... i'm living here all alone...(dont ask about the money because i have millions...) (won the lottery)
well... i forgot i have a room mate...(house mate to be exact...
he's my cuzin... well we don't get along well but he's the one cooking so i don't complain...
we go to the same school but he doesn't know what the people there are doing to me...
i went strait to my room and got the blade in one of my drawers...
I lightly touch my arm with a blade...i made a sound out of pain... tears of sadness fell down my cheeks... I don't really bleed so I try harder, I push the blade down so i finally saw the comforting image of blood... This feels kind of good actually it feels great... it's making all the pain go away...pain in my heart that is...
"why...is...it...always...me..." i whispered softly... with a voice with so much emotion in it...
i cut my wrist again harder this time... and my body reacted to the pain it gives me...
"what did i do to deserve this kind of punishment..." i said my voice breaking...
my tears of frustration fell down and mixed with my blood...
from my wrist up to my shoulder there are cuts...
some of them are new and some are old...
someone knocked in my room(probably Quatre)
"Heero dinner's ready"
shit i didn't know time flew that fast
"alright, be right there" i said while cleaning my room and soaking my bloody pants with cold water...
i put a long sleeved shirt and went down...
"alright Duo eat up, i've been noticing that u dont eat that much anymore? are you alright?" he said with concern
"hai...hai... i'm okay quatre don't worry about me..."
after eating i went straight to my room locked it and slept...
after my cutting myself it made me very tired...