Weathering the Storm
Lightning x Snow
"Nothing is more beautiful than the love that has weathered the storms of life."
-Jerome K. Jerome
The growling rumble of thunder and the steady patter of rain against the house echoed on through Snow's mind as he drifted in and out of sleep. He had spent the majority of his night tossing and turning, attempting to fall into an ignorant state of rest, however, the ever-growing, tenacious storm outside raged on heedlessly. In all fairness, Snow knew that he was feeling restless regardless of the violent weather, but the crashes of thunder and howls of the high winds did not help in the slightest.
Grumbling uncomfortably, Snow rolled onto his back for a moment and then onto his side, the leather futon couch groaning under his weight. The poor little couch was not nearly large enough to compensate as a bed for anyone, nonetheless someone of Snow's stature. He slept with his neck craned unnaturally on the armrest and his legs, from knees down, hanging off the end of the couch. At one point Snow had attempted curling up in the fetal position, but unfortunately, the couch lacked substantial width as well.
Any position he slept in was uncomfortable. And to make matters worse, every time Snow moved to make his situation less uncomfortable than it already was, the leather futon would squeak, as though a family of mice was living in the cushions.
All of it was miserable.
Finally, the collaboration of disturbances caused Snow's conscious mind to formally stir. He woke up, dimly looking around before his heavy lids closed. Groaning as rubbed at a knot in his neck, Snow flopped over onto his back, his tired azure eyes reopening ever so slowly. He stared at the ceiling silently with his eyes half shut, distantly listening to the intervals of thunder as his mind became more alert. Snow released a loud yawn, closing his eyes tiredly for a moment as he repositioned his head against the arm rest. He was exhausted, in both mind and body, but with the storm, the miserable couch, and the persistent worry hammering away at his subconscious, Snow knew that falling and staying asleep was hopeless.
Oh well, Snow shrugged it off good-naturedly. In a way, he was glad that he didn't have to endure his afflicted sleep any longer. Besides his trivial grievances meant nothing compared to what Lightning was suffering with. All that mattered to Snow, quite frankly, was Lightning's well being, and that she was able to rest peacefully.
Sitting upright and swinging his long legs around the side of the couch as he turned his body, Snow looked across the bedroom towards the bed to make sure that Lightning was still sleeping soundly. But to his utter horror, Lightning was nowhere to be found.
"LIGHTNING?!" Panic firing through his bloodstream, Snow leapt to his feet instantaneously, stumbling and tripping forward as he made his way over to the bed to be sure his beloved wasn't there. But sure enough, his eyes had not deceived him before. The blankets and sheets were drawn back in a twisted pile, proving that what had once been occupying the bed was long gone.
This made Snow's blood run cold.
Without wasting a second, Snow sprinted out of their bedroom and down the hall, fresh adrenaline empowering him and his anxiety. "LIGHTNING!? LIGHTNING ANSWER ME!" Snow shouted her named repetitiously, each time with more desperation than the last. He checked every room in their house, but found or heard nothing. At this, Snow began to fear the worst; that Lightning had left the house.
WHERE HAD SHE GONE?! WHY DID SHE LEAVE?! AND WHY AT A TIME LIKE THIS WHEN A STORM IS GOING ON?! WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED?!
Hastily shoving his feet into a pair of shoes and throwing on his oversized trenchcoat, Snow recklessly decided to go after Lightning in the storm. All Snow had in his head was that he wasn't going to lose her again.
That was for damn sure.
He fumbled putting the garments on, and he ran for the door with his shoes still untied. Plowing outside onto the porch, Snow was ready to have sprinted through the stormy night to find his love…when he practically stumbled right into her.
There she was; just standing on the each of the porch beneath the overhang roof, staring out into the dark, rainy horizon. Her body was pressed away from Snow, but Snow recognized her immediately by her elegant silhouette and by the long, curly pink hair that cascaded down her back.
"Lightning!" Snow practically screamed at her with flooding relief and joy. But as Lightning turned to stare at him, Snow's joy wasn't reciprocated.
Lightning watched him stoically, yet alarm was clearly registered in her aqua eyes. Misty showers of rains blew around her as she stared in silence, slowly dampening her hair and flannel pajamas. Snow could tell from the way she was holding her body that she was still somewhat afraid and distrusting of him.
"What are you doing?" she inquired with a frown.
Snow let out a loud boisterous sigh of relief, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly as he smiled to her. "Ermm…uh, sorry about all that….I just, uh, woke up and freaked out when I saw you were gone. I though something bad happened or something, and I was going to find you." He paused, lowering his arm back to his side as Lightning's wary eyes bore right into him. "But you're okay I guess." He nodded, mostly to himself, and said in a quieter voice, "That's good to see."
Lightning continued to stare at him silently, her critical gaze lingering a moment or so more before turning and staring out at the rain again. "…I couldn't sleep," she finally admitted in a robotic tone, refusing to make eye contact.
Snow smiled, "Same here." He laughed, gazing out into the rain as well. Instantly, Snow became captivated by the sway of the trees, the flecks of jagged light, and the dark hues of plum, indigo, and steel gray that stained the sky. It was chaotic and beautiful.
"Some crazy weather we're having, huh?" Snow spoke up conversationally, stepping forward to stand next to Lightning.
Lightning's eyes shifted to the side to look at Snow, and then snapped forward again without saying a word. Snow glanced over at her in return, just as a great bolt of lighting tore across the sky. Lightning's eyes widened as they locked onto the bright flash just before it vanished and as an enormous tremor of thunder filled its place.
Lightning flinched badly, drawing in her breath with a sharp, frightened cry. Automatically, Snow responded to her extreme reaction by protectively reaching out for Lightning to comfort her, but that only made the situation worse. At his touch, Lightning pushed at his hands furiously and staggered away from Snow like a wounded animal struggling to protect itself with its last ounce of strength.
Snow blinked in confusion, his heart broken as he stared across the way to Lightning and saw the look of pure terror that possessed her beautiful eyes. She was petrified of him.
"Light…" Snow spoke her name in a feeble whisper, unsure of what else he could say or do. He feared that even the slightest motion could upset her. And that was the last thing he wanted.
In their silence, the wind howled on, fiercer than ever as its piercing screams tremored through the rattling trees. Gusts of cold and heavy rain sprayed directly at them as the wind changed direction, soaking the both of them now. But neither Snow or Lightning moved or looked away…
Snow finally shook his head helplessly, water droplets springing free from his hair as he did. A pitying look filled his eyes as he stopped shaking his head, "Light…I'm sorry… I…"
Lightning shook her head in reply, slowly turning her body away so she was facing the rain as came down towards her. "I…." she paused, "…That noise," Lightning said, again not making eye contact, "…and that feeling of the whole world shaking…..I remember those two things very well for some reason. I can't explain it though…..It's why I couldn't sleep."
As Lightning spoke, Snow's heart suddenly felt like a large lump of lead in his chest. "Your accident?" he asked, trying his best not to let his emotions take hold of his voice.
Lightning nodded hesitantly, "I guess so…I don't known what else it could be."
As if just sensing the cold rain on his skin, Snow shivered and felt the sensation chill him to his core. Besides feeling cold all over, he sick to his stomach as the memories of what had happened took over…
Two weeks prior, Lightning had gone off on a solitary mission for the Guardian Corps. Even though the location she was sent too was far away and was unfamiliarity territory, Lightning had ensured that she would be fine by herself. A couple days passed without receiving any word from Lightning. At first, everyone assumed that she was too busy to contact anyone and that she could take care of herself, but Snow had been the one who insisted that Lightning would never be so careless as to not call to check in unless something was wrong. So with still no word from Sergeant Farron, the back-up troop, accompanied of course by Snow, was sent to investigate Lightning's situation, only then to find the comatose Lightning. The team had speculated that the cliff Lightning had been on had given way and had taken Lightning down with it when in crumbled to the bottom of the ruins. The fall wasn't far, but the impact had been enough to knock her into a full coma.
Lightning had been rushed to the hospital to receive emergency attention, Snow never leaving her the entire time. Snow waited patiently by her bedside through the long nights, vowing not to sleep or let Lightning out of his sight until he knew that she was okay. And he kept to his word. But on the day of her awakening, Snow's overwhelming joy was quickly bittered upon the heart wrenching discovery that Lightning had no idea who he was.
She had lost her memory.
The doctors had insisted that Lightning's memory loss would only be temporary, encouraging Snow to treat Lightning normally so that Lightning would be able to remember her lost memories on her own.
Snow had taken the news as well as any devoted husband was expected to, and staying true to his vow, he would not rest until Lightning was all better. But the burden of watching over the amnesiac Lightning was slowly taking a toll on Snow's already broken heart. Just as Lightning had no idea who Snow was, Snow had no idea who Lightning was in return. The woman he had been in love with for years was suddenly a complete stranger, and vice versa. Even though Lightning was physically here with him, Snow felt as though the real Lightning was still missing, still buried by rock and dirt in that faraway ravine... Everyday, he would awake with the hope that he would be reunited with the real Lightning; that everything had just been a bad dream and everything would be fine again between them. But everyday, he was consistently let down...
Swallowing, Snow inhaled deeply as he steadied his eyes gently on Lightning. "Do you by chance remember anything else? Anything at all?" Snow tried not to sound overly anxious. "Do you remember me at least? Even just a little bit?"
But Lightning shook her head.
Snow tried to ignore the dread and aching sadness that pierced him then. It was like he was being crushed from the inside out. As he lowered his eyes with disappointment, a gleam of gold, sparking as the rain washed upon it, caught Snow's attention. He held up his left hand, admiring solemnly the gold band that adorned his ring finger. On it, was a personal inscription that read, "For better and for worse…Forever and always" and then the date of their marriage.
Snow sighed, lowering his hand back down to his side as he looked up to the woman that looked exactly like his wife. She was also wearing her wedding band at the moment, although to this Lightning, it was just a ring that meant nothing to her what-so-ever. So badly was it then that Snow wanted her to just remember their marriage and have her realize again how much he loved her…
Snow was brought out of his thoughts as he noticed Lightning shivering through the misty rain. They were both freezing out here. Impulsively, Snow pulled off his coat and went to put it on Lightning. As he approached, Lightning stepped back, a dangerous, fearful look in her eyes.
"It's okay," Snow said, holding up his hands as a sign that he came in peace, "I won't hurt you. You're freezing, just let me give you my coat."
Lightning frowned distrustfully, looking Snow up and down before shaking her head. "I'm fine, don't worry about it."
But Snow shook his head stubbornly, "But I am worried." Snow sighed, "Why don't we just go back inside together? I don't want to leave you out here." He paused, watching Lightning's defiant expression as the brisk wind and rain continued to chill them to the bone. "I promise you, you'll be safe and warm inside.
"No," Lightning rejected bluntly, and then turned away from him again as if to end the conversation.
Snow sighed in defeat. Well at least both Lightnings are laconic and initially hated my guts, Snow thought, grateful for any shred of consistency between Lightning's old personality and this new one.
"Well, that leaves me no choice then," Snow declared, exhaling as sat down on the rain splattered patio floor and lay his trench coat down next to him. Lightning looked down to him, confusion and alarm fluttering to her face. Snow smiled effortlessly, hoping to calm her, "Hey, it's okay. I just want to stay here with you. That is, if you don't mind."
Lightning frowned, as if she would have preferred Snow had left her alone, but turned away wordlessly. Her eyes stared out across the horizon, hypnotized by sights that she witnessed as bolts of lightning, writhing like a murderous snake, rip apart the night sky. Her muscles coiled dangerously as the low, roll of thunder erupted from the dark heavens in the few seconds that followed.
"Claire…" Lightning spoke up suddenly in a leveled voice. Snow jerked in surprise, staring at Lightning intently. Lightning looked away uncomfortably from him, waiting before going on, "…My real name…Its Claire, isn't it?"
Before Lightning knew what happened next, Snow practically knocked her of her feet as he came swooping up to his feet again and came at Lightning was an ecstatic smile.
"YES!" he exclaimed jubilantly, renewed hope filling inside of him, "You finally remembered something Light!" Lightning flinched, frowning wearily at Snow as he entered her personal space. Snow realized his impulsive error, and quickly backtracked, sending her an apologetic, smile.
It took a while before Lightning went on. "Actually, no…I heard the doctor say my real name was Claire Farron."
"You…oh," Snow's heart sank slowly and painfully like the Titanic.
Lightning hadn't improved after all.
Snow looked away, folding his arms as he tried not to act as disappointed as he felt. Lightning watched him as she sensed his poorly guised sadness, but with no words to comfort him, she looked away as well.
After another crash of thunder and lightning, the pink haired woman spoke up again. "Snow…Why did I change my name? I've been watching the storm for some time now…hoping it would give me some clue about my identity or trigger my memory, but…" she shook her head and exhaled with measured frustration. "I don't understand."
Snow shrugged, thoughtfully staring out at the storm before replying, "You changed your name to Lightning to help you grow up, when your parents died and you went on to raise your sister Serah.
Lightning stared dubiously at Snow as he explained the story behind her alias. She shook her head, training her eyes out at the horizon. "Doesn't ring any bells." Lightning paused, "…I don't really see how changing my name would do anything. Especially naming myself after something so terrible and violent." She paused thoughtfully again, "Lightning sis something that can't protect anything; it just destroys everything in its path…"
"I guess you can see it that way," Snow shrugged naively. "Personally, I think it's a beautiful name. Sure, lightning is destructive, but when you really watch it, like right now-" Snow cut himself off as an intense flash of light went off over them. Both Snow and Lightning stared on and marveled the sight. As the thunder began to rumble, Snow turned back to Lightning. "Did you see that? The way it lights up the sky and how the whole world quakes in amazement of it." Snow stared back out at the rain, waiting for another elusive bolt of lightning to strike. "And it's powerful and strong. Lightning was a name that gave you the strength you needed, and defines the power you have inside of you." Snow met Lightning's eyes earnestly, "And you still have that strength inside of you. Trust me."
Lightning shook her head, "I don't know…" She drifted off, scowling slightly to herself. Then suddenly, a jolt of lightning crashed down, and the whole house seemed to shake. Shrieking in fear slightly, Lightning staggered backwards and held up her arms in front of her defensively. Snow rushed at her to make sure she was alright, but she angrily swatted him away.
"I just want this friggin' storm to be over already!" she spat at him, regurgitating her fear as anger, "I don't care about the lightning or strength, or whatever the hell you just said. I just want this all to stop!"
Snow opened his mouth to say something o comfort her, but stopped himself abruptly when he met Lightning's foul glare.
Lightning's hurtful gaze lingered until it finally softened sympathetically. She shook her head as she looked out into the rain. "I just…I…" She stopped, sounding as if she was on the verge of tears. Angrily, she clenched both hands into tight fist and started again, "And I just want to stop going around like I have no idea who or what the hell anything is. I want it to end."
Snow watched Lightning in silence, his deep and ever-so watchful eyes studying the empty shell of his wife as she openly sobbed right in front of him. The real Lightning would have had to kill someone first before they ever saw her crying. The thought of that panged Snow's heart terribly.
Feeling cold and desolate inside, Snow looked down at the ring on his left finger again, swallowing hard as a large lump formed in the back of his throat. He raised his eyes out towards the chaotic storm. "Yeah…" he said finally, "I do too…"
After a long drift of silence, Snow sighed, aggravation ringing in his voice. Lightning, whose tears had subsided, turned her head and stared at him emotionlessly. Snow turned and met her gaze, smiling half-heartedly
"Don't worry," Snow soothed to her, "…This storm won't last forever. You just have to wait it out until the worst of it is over." Snow looked forward again, but Lightning's eyes remained trained on Snow as he went on. "Every storm does end eventually…even the ones that seem like they'll last forever. And once it does, all the rain will subside, and the sun will return, kinda as a way of proving to you that things are going to be alright…" Snow looked back to Lightning, his eyes full of glowing encouragement, "You'll see what I mean."
Lightning nodded thoughtfully, processing what Snow had said. "And what about my memory loss?"
Snow tried not to let his outward appearance portray the shift of emotions that took place within him. "Well, uh, I guess we'll have to wait that one out too huh?" he said cheerfully, forcing a bright smile. But the carefree act did not fool Lightning, and it certainly didn't fool Snow either.
Snow's expression sobered and he adverted his eyes from Lightning. He shook his head, sighing as he looked across the horizon, searching for some sign in the heavens that hope was within sight.
If it was, Snow couldn't see it through he dark, looming clouds.
But even though he couldn't see it with his eyes, Snow could feel that hope he needed within his heavy heart, encouraging him not to give up. And he couldn't…and wouldn't.
Exhaling, Snow folded his hands casually behind his head, thoughts of love and determination still reeling in his mind and heart. "But Light…" Snow spoke up solemnly. Lightning looked to him curiously and he went on, "I believe in you. You will remember everything again one day, just like before. You're strong, and stubborn as hell." He chuckled to himself at that, "…And even if you don't remember, I'll stand by you and help…" He turned, meeting Lightning's eyes in return, "Because I will always love you…no matter what the hell you remember or how you feel about me."
Lightning furrowed her brow, astonishment brightening her emotionless eyes. "How can you say something so stupid like that?"
Snow chuckled, trying not to be too offended by that blow. He shrugged nonchalantly, as if it were that simple to love someone unconditionally. "I don't know. I knew that when I asked you to marry me, I was signing myself up for a hard life. Nothing, not since the day we first met, has ever been easy for us." Snow paused, a smile playing across his lips as the fond, and not so fond, memories filled him up. "I mean, there's no rose colored glasses that come in between us. And when I say that I mean we tell each other exactly how it is. You'd tell me exactly when I was being a pain in the ass and vice versa. We'd fight, and swear all through the night if we had to prove a point. That's just how it is."
A sullen expression filled Lightning's eyes and she frowned disapprovingly. "So the why the hell are married?"
Snow laughed heartily, and the genuine sound of it took Snow off guard. He hadn't realized how long it had been since he'd laughed like this. He enjoyed the sound of it, so he laughed some more. "Because," he said in between laughs, "even through all of that, we still loved each other a helluva lot more. What we have is raw and real, and it's stronger than anything I've ever know. We've never pretended to be anything except who we really are, and we know one another better than we even know ourselves." Snow smirked boyishly, "And besides, all the fights make the make ups even better and all the more passionate."
Lightning rolled her eyes dryly and Snow smiled, "The point is though, the reason we're married is because we're stronger together, and we can overcome anything." He held up his left hand and showed Lightning his wedding band. "This ring is the corporeal proof of my promise to you. A promise to love you forever, no matter what happens." Snow nodded down at Lightning's wedding band, "You made me the same promise."
Emotionlessly, Lightning raised her hand and examined the ring on her finger. No recognition registered in her eyes as she gazed at the foreign object.
Snow shook his head, stepping forward impulsively and lightly taking hold of Lightning's wrist. Startled, Lightning met his eyes, but did not retract her arm.
"Lightning please," Snow was almost begging as he gazed down into her eyes, "I know that you're not gone and that the real you is still in there somewhere! I know it!" Snow declared. He stared into Lighting's eyes unblinking, and she stared back. If eyes truly were the window to a person's soul, than perhaps, Snow hoped then, he could finally reach the real Lightning.
"Oh, please baby…" Fresh sadness reaping in Snow's voice as he went on, "I know you're there, I know you can hear me, so just concentrate on my voice, my face, my eyes, anything! Just concentrate on just me and come back to me. Deep down, you're hiding because you're scared of your accident, I know that. But if you could just remember who I am even a little, and remember that I'll always protect you and won't let any harm come to you ever again. You have to believe me!" Snow swallowed, his throat becoming dry and his eyes wet, "All you gotta do is try. Light, I begging you. I'm sorry for ever hurting you in the past, but if you could just pull through for me now, I'll do anything for you… Lightning, I know you know who I am, just try to find some memory of me. Anything th-"
"I can't!" Lightning's voice creaked out as she ripped her hand away from Snow's grasp finally and staggered away from him. Her eyes were enflamed with anger as tears filled them, "Dammit, I know you want me to remember, but don't you think I want that too?!" She turned away, "You such an idiot!" she yelled out at the falling rain. Lightning shook her head, wiping her hot tears away with the back of her hand as she began to turn back around to face Snow again. "I'm trying so hard to remember you and our life together, but I-"
Lightning had barely gotten her sentence out when Snow vigorously pulled her into his strong arms and buried Lightning's tearful face against his warm chest. She cried harder, and Snow just held her tight, rocking her and rubbing her back soothingly.
"Snow, I'm sorry that I, I'm-"
"Shh…" Snow hushed her, caressing her messy, rain-sodden hair. He let his large fingers comb through her luscious mane of hair, inhaling the familiar scent of her hair and skin as he had her pressed against his body. She had always smelt like honeysuckle, a mild fragrance filled with a sensual warmth that melted into the air around them. She smelt of it right now…smelt and felt exactly like the real Lightning. Snow moaned, squeezing his wife a little tighter, like he planned on never letting her go.
He could finally feel her. His Lightning. She felt so close to him now, and yet they were still so far apart.
"I won't give up on you," Snow whispered as Lightning's sobs began to stifle. He bowed over her and rested the side of his cheek against Lightning's forehead. "I swear to you Light, I won't ever leave you alone. We'll fight this and see this thing through together, do you hear me?"
Snow felt Lightning nod, her messy hair rubbing against Snow's jaw. "I trust you Snow…"
Snow's heart quaked, and, if possible, squeezed Lightning tighter than he had before. He held her silently, feeding her all the affection in the world as she cowered in his arms against the storm. After a while, Snow pulled away slightly, just enough too see Lightning's face. Gently, Snow wiped away the rivers that had flooded her face with his thumb and then brushed a lock of hair from her eyes.
Lightning met his eyes, looking for solace within them. She was shaking terrible, but this time it wasn't from the cold wind and rain that continued to spray at them antagonistically.
"…Hold me, Snow," Lightning instructed in a faint, yet stern voice as tears began to fill her eyes all over again. Snow felt his own eyes wetten then as he pulled Lighting with great force back into his embrace of perpetual love. He bestowed a kiss on her forehead, letting his lips linger on his skin as he treasured this moment.
Oh how much he loved her. And always would love her.
It was then, as they stood together like an invincible force against the rain, the wind, the thunder, and the lightning that Snow finally saw a hope shinning down from the sky above… And it was a glorious, revitalizing sight.
It reminded Snow of what he should have always known, and that was that his and Lightning's marriage would weather any storm. They were strong, and together had built an unbreakable bond. In their lives and in their marriage, they had been tested time and time again to see if their life was true…and even with all odds against them, Snow and Lightning's love had prevailed.
We will be fine and weather this storm, Snow thought to himself, love and determination brimming from his heart as he felt Lightning's heart beating against his chest in reply. We'll make it through…like we always do…and like we always will.
He was forever sure of that.