Trapper poured his very last martini ever from the Still. It would have to be his last; his jeep was leaving in ten minutes, providing they couldn't get through to Hawkeye by then. Hopefully, they wouldn't.

When they first told him he was going home, Trapper had wanted to talk to Hawkeye. To say goodbye. To tell him he'd miss him. That he loved him.

But that was a lie. He didn't love Hawkeye. He enjoyed the man's company, and the sex was great. But he didn't love him. He was just another random screw, and Trapper planned to treat him as such. Sure, he sometimes felt guilty leaving the woman (or man) whilst they slept, or went to the bathroom, but it was the best way to avoid confrontation. He was married, for Christ's sake. He loved his wife and kids, he just wanted more than his wife could offer.

Of course, it'd be awkward after the war if he and Hawkeye ever met up again. Trapper smiled grimly to himself. He knew they would, whether it was just at a reunion, or if Hawkeye sought him out specifically. At least he wouldn't proclaim his undying love for him, or at least, Trapper hoped he wouldn't. Hawkeye knew what Trapper was like with his lovers. He would soon realise he was no different from the others.

"Sir?"

Trapper jumped, and looked over to the Swamp door where Radar stood uneasily.

"Did you get through?" he asked. Radar shook his head.

"Your jeep is here," the corporal said.

"Hmm." Trapper stared into space for a moment, swirling his glass gently in one hand. He finished the last of his martini in one mouthful, savouring the gin, and turned to Radar.

"Will you pass something onto Hawk for me?" he asked. Radar nodded, and quickly produced a pen and a scrap of paper. Trapper smirked, and shook his head as he placed the martini glass on the table. In two quick strides, he crossed the tent, and kissed Radar on the cheek. The younger man pulled away almost instantly, wiping his face and spluttering. Still smirking, Trapper shouldered his duffle bag and left the Swamp. Radar followed him.

"Be sure Hawkeye gets that," Trapper said as he threw his bag into the waiting jeep.

"B—but--."

"Give it to him," Trapper insisted, climbing into the passenger's seat. Radar threw his arms down in frustration as the jeep rumbled to life.

Briefly, Trapper wondered how Hawkeye would react. Then he realised, he didn't care.