Eyes like the Devil
Author's Note: I do not own anything or anyone in the Batman and Harry Potter universes. They are the property of their respective owners.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all at Hogwarts for their 7th and final year. They had found all the Horcruxes and all that was left was to kill Voldemort. The Headmistress decided to throw a big party for the trio and the entire school was filled with joy and laughter. Ron was excited. Just last year things had seemed at there darkest but now they had hope, hope for the future and their lives. He had told Hermione that he loved her and she reciprocated but they had decided to wait until after Voldemort was gone to get married. Just then the doors burst open and a clown came in. He was dressed all in purple and had green hair and white skin. The clown had a large cake with him decked out with all kinds of candles.
"Howdy, kiddos, don't mind me barging in. Allow me to introduce myself, Joker's the name and entertainment's my game." Joker said, laughing crazily.
The students were confused. Who ordered a clown? They figured it must have been one of the professors. The professors meanwhile thought one of the students did it. Joker decided to give these kids some of his A material, after all, he was hired by Baldy to kidnap that kid…what was his name? Gary Blotter? Nigel Trotter? He'd remember it eventually.
"So kiddos, anyone know what you call a dog with no legs?" Silence followed the joke.
"It doesn't matter what you call it, it won't come to you anyway!" Joker said, slapping his knees and holding his sides. He looked around to see if anyone was laughing and no one was. That made him upset, for after all, he was giving them a good show. Maybe they needed some more incentive. Searching among the crowd he saw a blond haired little brat and thinking he would do as well as any, he asked him to come up to the front of the room.
Malfoy thought this clown was pathetic, but decided to play along and went up. Joker smiled at him as he came closer. Then the clown held out his hand to him.
"I don't have anything up my sleeve." Then they shook hands. Instantly, Draco started smoking and his flesh sizzled. 4000 volts were going through his body. Joker held on for about 2 seconds and then he let go. The skeleton crumbled to the ground. Then Joker faced the kiddies.
"Seems like he got a little hot under the collar." And then he laughed like the madman he was. The teachers started to go for their wands but Joker pressed a button on his coat and the cake instantly started pumping out his venom. All the faculty members started laughing and then their faces contorted into ghoulish smiles and they stopped moving. Pressing another button, the cake spewed out a paralyzing agent and froze the entire hall, except for Joker; in their tracks. Another bonus about this little gas was that it froze the vocal cords of the little brats.
"Looks like my act really knocked them dead!" Joker remarked. Then he glanced around the room for that kid he was supposed to grab. Now what was it that he had on his forehead, pimples? Wait, it was a scar shaped like a lightning bolt. Then he spotted him, next to a girl with bushy hair and a kid with freckles all over his face. Coming up to him, he whistled. From inside the cake some men came out and grabbed Harry, knocking him out with a blow to the head. Each man had a clown mask on his face. Joker was about to leave when the girl and Freckles made eye contact. He called two of his men over and indicated the two students.
"Let's bring these two along. From what Baldy told me, they're his friends. They could make things…fun."
Voldemort was waiting impatiently for that buffoon to come back with Potter. He had hired the clown because he had sensed a kindred spirit but was shocked when he turned out to be nothing more than a crazy muggle. Just then the mad muggle came in with Potter unconscious and his two friends also knocked out.
"I didn't ask you to bring those two." Voldemort hissed between clenched teeth.
"I wanna keep them, for me. Here's your boy Potter, now where's my money?" Joker said.
"Who said I would pay you? I can't stand your kind; now get out of my sight." For an instant, it looked like the muggle would strike him but then the Joker just laughed.
"Oh well, at least I had some fun. C'mon boys, let's take these two and leave." Bowing to Voldemort, he left, along with his men and Potter's friends. Voldemort was surprised, but quickly shook it off. He had Potter and that was all he needed.
Later at the Joker's hideout, one of his men came up to him. "What about our money, boss?" one of the henchmen asked. Joker could see that he didn't get the joke and pulled out a gun. Aiming it at the fool's head, he pulled the trigger. The henchman waited for the bullet to pierce his skull, but he didn't feel anything. Opening his eyes he saw that a little flag had popped out of the gun with the words Bang! on it. He sighed. Then Joker fired the pistol again and the flag shot out into the hired muscle's brain.
"Any other questions?" Joker asked, looking at the men. Every one was suddenly very interested in the floor. Joker smiled. "Good, who's in the mood for some Chinese?"