The Sorting of Albus Scarfy Potter
Albus Potter was nervous, to say the least. This moment would shape the next seven years of his life. But hey, no pressure.
It was the moment of his sorting, and all eyes were on him. The students already expected so much of him, and he was only 11. That's what he got for being a Potter, and the second son of Harry Potter, no less. This meant he not only had to live up to his father, but he had to be as good as his elder brother, James, as well.
He had all these responsibilities riding on his shoulders. He had to be a Gryffindor, he had to be an excellent quidditch player, he had to excel in magic, and he had to be able to charm any woman he wanted. Albus bloody hated it! Any child in their right mind would.
He wanted to be different. He wanted to break the mould of the "perfect Potter," but that didn't happen as easily as you would expect. You had to really try if you wanted to be noticed.
"Albus Potter," Neville Longbottom, the new Hogwarts headmaster, called. It was his turn. He stepped up to the stool and pulled the hat onto his head.
"I see that you wish to be achieving greatness in your future Mr. Potter, even if it may not be in the way everyone imagines. You could excel in any house. But what's this? A need to be different, I see. Well if you're sure you want this, better be, SLYTHERIN!" The last word was shouted to the entire hall.
A hush fell over the students. A Potter? In Slytherin? That couldn't be right. James Potter stared with a dissapointed look in his eyes, but Albus didn't care. He was a Slytherin now, he needed to stay composed.
He was about to head over to his new table when he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
"You're not done yet Mr. Potter, you've got to be sorted by the Scarf of Sexual Preference's new replacement, the headband of Sexual Orientation," Neville said, though apprehensively.
"Alright let's get this over with," Albus groaned. As soon as the headband touched his head, he felt it in his mind, and somewhere else as well.
"Well ain't that special, our little Alby is OMNISEXUAL!" The band screamed the last word and Albus allowed himself to give a sly smirk. This would set him apart from his family immensely well.
"Is that all, or is their a bow-tie of self confidence as well?" He asked in the snarkiest manner possible. He was a Slytherin now, after all, and an omnisexual one at that.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you Mr. Potter, but that's all the sorting you will receive. Now would you please go take your seat at the Slytherin table," Neville said, looking extremely exasperated.
He walked over to his new table with a smirk on his face, feeling immensely proud of himself. He had gotten what he wanted. Difference.
Yes, Albus Scarfy Potter could learn to like it there indeed.