A/N: The song that I use is called "Heroin" by the Velvet Underground. It is truly wonderful music and strongly suggest that everyone download it.
Disclaimer: Do I look like a washed out member of Andy Warhol's Factory or a television mastermind? No, I wonder why because I'm not Lou Reed or JJ Abrams.
A Man Cannot Be Free
The blue vein was popping out of the skin; a needle poised above. Sweat trickled down his face, blue eyes concentrating with a slightly mad look about them. Every noise was intensified, reverberating through his body. He needed it. No matter what happened it was there, always a part of him that craved it. And then when he finally gave in, in that moment, it was all worth it. He blinked; the needle passing from his site giving way to every part of him that screamed like ghosts for that one substance. Heroin. And then just one drop of sweat fell, a fall that lasted an eternity and Charlie gave in.
When I put a spike into my vein
Then I tell you things aren't quite the same
When I'm rushing on my run
And I feel just like Jesus' son
And I guess that I just don't know
He knew there would be repercussions; they loomed above him waiting for him to come out of his drugged stupor. Everything that was his flashed before his eyes: Claire, Aaron, his brother Liam, Claire, the island, his piano, Claire…Claire
I have made the big decision
I'm gonna try to nullify my life
'Cause when the blood begins to flow
When it shoots up the dropper's neck
When I'm closing in on death.
They floated away on the tide but one refused to go with the tide. It was fighting against the current. A pale face, equally pale golden hair curling to frame her familiar face, her piercing and caring liquid, not blue but more like aquamarine, eyes with berry stained lips that frequently morphed into such a carefree smile not synchronized with the experiences plaguing her past. Her voice echoing in his head, "Charlie!" but sounded much more like "Cholly!" Then she was swept up too.
I wish that I was born a thousand years ago
I wish that I'd sailed the darkened seas
On a great big clipper ship
Going from this land here to that
On a sailor's suit and cap
Away from the big city
Where a man cannot be free
Of all the evils of this town
And of himself and those around
He was at peace. Every thing was calm; it was a void with nothing existed but Charlie and all the wonderful feelings that existed inside of him. The feeling was a burst of euphoria; too good to be true. He was privileged to have this experience, it existed only in him. It was a wonderful inertia and he was contend just to feel everything in a different way. The world wasn't the same world, he was in Charlie's world where he was calm, he was content and that was a rare thing. He was pulled under.
Because when the smack begins to flow
I really don't care anymore
About all the Jim-Jims in this town
And all the politicians making crazy sounds
And everybody putting everybody else down
And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds
'Cause when the smack begins to flow
Then I really don't care anymore
He was swept away, powerless under the influence, he couldn't stop, he wouldn't stop. It was the feeling, a feeling so indescribable, so wonderful that he was drowning in it. Claire didn't matter, she wasn't there. It was only him and the heroin.
Ah, when that heroin is in my blood
And the blood is in my head
Man thank God that I'm as good as dead
And thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care
I have made the big decision
I'm gonna try to nullify my life
'Cause when the blood begins to flow
When it shoots up the dropper's neck
When I'm closing in on death
And then she was there her familiar face looming over him, wrecking his conciousness, an invasion bombarding his conciousness. Her face blurred as if he was gazing into her though the pane of water between them. He looked down on her, she was just another face that floated through his world. It didn't matter anymore than any other person that swam across his vision. There was only him, Charlie Pace. Charlie Pace and his heroin.
And you can't help me, not you guys
Or all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk
You can all go take a walk
And I guess I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
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Please Review, it makes me feel good on bad days (and on good days for that matter). And I swear I'm almost done with the second chapter of my Sana fic, I just got a little sidetracked.