Pairing: Grissom/Sara
Rating: Teen
Title: Passages
Author: dreamsofhim
Summary: OK, so we know he shaved it off, but why did he grow it in the first place?
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. No silver has crossed my palm, either.
A/N: In response to Laura Katherine's challenge over at YTDAW. No beta for me, as this hit me at work and I was impatient to post it.
With each passage of human growth we must
shed a protective structure like a hardy crustacean.
We are left exposed and vulnerable…
– Gail Sheehy
xxx
It had been a long night – Grissom and Sara were both tired. She'd managed to get into the shower first, leaving him knocking around his office like a marble in an empty cigar box. Knowing how long Sara could stay in the shower, he thought he might tackle a desk drawer or two – an astounding array of things managed to accumulate there no matter how vigilant he was about filing.
He'd just thrown away half a trashcan full of useless paper when his fingers skated across a file folder wedged at the back of the drawer. It took a minute to dislodge – when he pulled it out, there at the top written in red marker was the word Otosclerosis.
Grissom drew in a surprised breath, remembering how he'd shoved the file back there three years ago. Various bits of paper were sticking out of the edges now, threatening to spill back into his life. That had been a sad and lonely time for him.
Having no choice but to open the thing to straighten the contents, he opened the file.
On top was the Rolodex card for his doctor.
DR. KAREN ROTH, ENT
SUNDOWN MEDICAL GROUP
9548 DESERT WAY
LAS VEGAS, NV 89108
(702) 555-0127
He'd taken it out and brought it home the day he'd decided to have the surgery…the day the Lab blew up…the day he'd had to hurt Sara.
Setting the card aside he shuffled through a series of receipts for doctor's visits from the week before surgery, only snatches of notations registering:
…hereditary otosclerosis, advanced…
…auditory deficit progressing rapidly: recommend immediate surgery…
…prognosis: guarded…
There was an email Mom, the night before the surgery…
…and even though my surgery failed…
as well as post-op instructions…
…not to get water in the ear canal, or blow your nose…
The surgery had gone well, he remembered, and he was healing until he'd caught a bad cold. That had very nearly ruined everything.
Grissom flipped through a few more receipts…
…fluid in the ear causing pressure on the eardrum…
…possible rupture of incision…
…patient experiencing significant pain…
Those had been the darkest days. Not only could he not hear but the pressure in his head was constant, his face and jaw so painful he'd given up shaving.
Last in the folder were test results from the audiologist after the infection cleared.
…patient has some permanent hearing loss in the higher frequencies, but this is minor and not expected to progess…
Gathering all the papers in a messy pile, he tapped them against the desktop a few times to even them out. No bits were poking out around the edges when he closed the folder and put it in the correct hanging file marked Medical.
Aware that the shower had stopped running he glanced at his watch; Sara would be in the bathroom awhile longer. Cheek propped on his fist, Grissom lifted his head and stroked his beard. It had been born of necessity but he'd kept it as a sort of talisman…totally unscientific, but true nonetheless. The beard marked a new era for him in which the shadow of deafness wasn't threatening to end his career. It had been important to keep it.
He looked around the office at the few boxes left from their move. "We're going to have to take some of these to the storage unit," he said quietly to himself.
"Let's go though them first…I think there are some journals in that bottom one and I still can't find the potholders," Sara said, having appeared suddenly toweling her hair. "I'm out of the shower."
Grissom looked up, smiling, "I see that. C'mere."
Sara walked into his arms and sat on his lap, combing through her wet hair with her fingers. Still thinking about the boxes, she said, "And I wonder if…
Pulling her close, he interrupted her, "I'm thinking about shaving off my beard. What do you think?"
Tilting her head to look at him and trying to imagine him without it, she said, "It's your face…I like you with it and I liked you without it," running her fingers over his cheek. "Why now?" she asked, noting something thoughtful in his expression.
"Well, I've had it a long time and I think it may be time to let it go."
"You know, I've wondered why you grew it in the first place…" she said.
Covering her hand with his and bringing it to his lips, he kissed her palm, "Well, it's kind of a long story…"
xxx
With each passage of human growth we must
shed a protective structure like a hardy crustacean.
We are left exposed and vulnerable –
but also yeasty and embryonic again, capable
of stretching in ways we hadn't known before.
– Gail Sheehy