PRIMROSE ACRES 6

by Heartwings

The last story of the series, Kathryn deals with Chakotay's infidelity and moves on until an unexpected pregnancy changes their lives forever.

-1PRIMROSE ACRES 6

Kathryn ran from the apartment, took the turbo lift to the parking garage, got in her car and cried. She banged on the control panel with her fists as she screamed, "Why? Why? How could he do this to me? Oh, gods, I thought he loved me?" She pounded and pounded on the control panel with all her strength until her hands were bloody as she screamed, "Damn him, damn him to hell!" Once she had vented her anger, Kathryn wanted to get away, as far away as possible, and tried to start her car. It wouldn't start and, as she looked at the controls to try to figure out why, she realized she had pounded on them so hard she had undoubtedly damaged something. Kathryn tried to fiddle with them, but she had beaten her hands to a bloody pulp and her fingers would barely move. She slumped back in the seat and started crying again.

Realizing she would have to find another way to get home, Kathryn got out of her car and started walking to the exit, however she noticed her clothes were all bloody, her hands were still bleeding and she would most certainly attract attention on the street. She went back to the car and rummaged through Chakotay's laundry sitting on the passenger seat. Grabbing a shirt to put on over her dress, she stuffed her hands into some socks and threw the rest of his clothes onto the parking garage floor. As she turned to leave she noticed her wallet on the floor of the car, so she picked it up and stuffed it into her pocket, glad that she remembered to retrieve it when she dropped her purse. Her hands were really throbbing and she wondered if she had broken something. Not caring where she was going, Kathryn left the parking garage, went to the street and started running. After a few blocks, she was out of breath and ducked into an alley to sit down. She gathered her thoughts and realized the best thing to do would be to find the nearest beaming station and go home. Not familiar with that part of town, she stopped and asked directions, found the station and safely materialized on her front sidewalk.

Kathryn ran upstairs to her room, threw herself on the bed and had another good cry. When she was all cried out, she went to the bathroom and tried to peel the socks off her hands, but they were stuck from all the dried blood. She filled the sink with cold water and soaked them until she could get the socks off. As they came off Kathryn winced. Her hands were swollen and badly bruised, all of her knuckles were bloody and two fingers on her left hand were splayed out at an odd angle and undoubtedly broken.

Kathryn knew she needed medical attention, however she realized her com badge was in her purse that she'd left behind, so she went to her desk and rummaged through the drawers until she found her spare. She held it in her right hand and tried to activate it, but her thumb wouldn't move. Kathryn sat it on the desk and was finally able to activate it, however she immediately said she'd called by accident and cut the link. She was glad she did as she didn't want to explain to Starfleet Medical what had happened to her, at least not until she could come up with a good story to explain her injuries. Her hands were really hurting now, so she went to the kitchen, filled a bowl with ice and slowly inched her hands into it. At first it hurt like hell, but soon enough the ice started to dull the pain and take the swelling down.

When her hands felt better, Kathryn went back to her room to change out of her blood stained dress, however she couldn't make her hands unfasten it. She sat on the bed and started to sob again until she realized what she needed to do and called her mother at work. Gretchen took one look at Kathryn and was there in less than ten minutes.

Gretchen rushed in the house and called for Kathryn, who yelled that she was upstairs. When Gretchen entered into Kathryn's bedroom and came face to face with her, she lost her breath. "My gods, Katie, what happened to you?"

Kathryn sat up on the bed, burst into tears and could only get a few words out. "Oh, Momma, Chakotay, he ohhh!"

Her mother rushed to the bed, sat beside her and tried to look at her hands. Kathryn had pushed her hair back and wiped her tears earlier, so there was also blood smeared on her face and that, combined with what was on her dress, made her look much more seriously injured than she was. "Katie, oh Katie, he did this to you? He hit you? That bastard beat you?" She tried to pull her off the bed. "Come on, Katie, you're going to the hospital and I'm calling the police!"

"No, Momma, no. He didn't do it, I did."

Gretchen was confused. "You hit him?"

"No!" Kathryn started sobbing again and finally stopped enough to continue. "I did it, I was angry and banged my hands on my car."

"You had an accident?"

"No! Oh, Mom, I went to see him, to surprise him, because I got the ashes back like I told you and there was…" She started crying uncontrollably again until Gretchen hugged her and finally got her calmed down. "Momma, I went to see him early this morning and there was a woman there in his apartment."

"Katie, maybe it was a friend or a relative or something? Maybe you just overreacted and jumped to conclusions? You know you haven't been yourself lately."

"She was naked, Mom, she obviously didn't know I was there. She walked over to the sofa, kissed him and said she wanted breakfast. What would you have thought?"

"Oh," Gretchen meekly replied, not knowing what else to say.

"It all makes sense now, he wasn't dressed and didn't want to let me in and then he was trying to get me out as fast as possible. I could tell I woke him up, he was in bed with her…."

Gretchen rubbed Kathryn's back. "Katie, sweetheart, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. Come on, Katie, you need to get to the hospital and have yourself taken care of and we'll deal with that later. There's blood all over you."

"It's only my hands, the rest is where it dripped or smeared. I was so upset and angry I tried to beat my car to death. Mom, I can't go to sick bay. You know Starfleet's policy on self inflicted injuries, they'll refer me to a shrink and it'll go on my record and I'm sure all the stuff about my drug problem will come out and I'll be in a lot of trouble. I either have to come up with a plausible explanation or somehow try to go see a civilian doctor or something. I don't want Starfleet finding out!"

Gretchen thought for a moment and got up. "You stay here, I have an idea, I'll be right back." She returned in a few minutes. "Here, I got your sister to beam her ID, we'll take you to a civilian hospital and you can say you're her. If it's just your hands, they probably won't examine you that thoroughly and won't even notice and you two are practically twins; nobody will know. Just tell them you got stuck in a closet or turbolift or something, you're claustrophobic and panicked and tried to beat your way out. I'm sure they'll believe that and I'll back you up. Come on, Katie, your hands look bad, you need to see a doctor right away."

The ruse worked and Kathryn was able to get her hands treated, pretending to be her sister. When they beamed back home, Gretchen helped her to change into some clean clothes and got her propped up in bed. She brought her the pain medication they had given her, but Kathryn explained that she couldn't take it because Starfleet was monitoring her and she wasn't allowed any unauthorized medication. Gretchen fetched a bag of ice, put it on Kathryn's hands and asked, "How do you feel, do they still hurt?"

"Yes, Mom, but not as bad before and the ice helps, thanks. I'll be stiff and sore for a day or two, but I'll be fine." Kathryn leaned back and propped her hands up on a pillow. "There, that's better." She took a deep breath and let out a sigh. "Oh, Mom, what am I going to do? I thought he loved me, I really did."

Gretchen laid on the bed next to Kathryn, put her arm around her and cradled her head on her shoulder. "Well, Katie Bird, you have two choices: you can either forgive him or forget about him and move on. If you want my opinion, and you're going to get it so just shut up and listen, I think you should at least talk to him and let him explain what happened and why. You owe him that much and he owes you an explanation, but if you want to move on, I'd certainly understand because I think honesty and fidelity are paramount in a relationship."

"Mom, we both know what happened! The why is easy too, I wouldn't have sex with him and she would and she was much prettier and younger than me too, I bet she was half my age. My sister was right about one thing, the way to a man's heart is through his penis!"

"Shush, Katie, that's not true and you know it!"

"There's more, Mom. Chakotay got drunk when he was here last weekend and he was all over me, trying to get me to have sex with him, and I said no. He didn't try to physically force me or anything, I wouldn't stand for that, but he kept going on and on before I finally left him and I think he passed out. He's gotten drunk a couple times lately and, come to think of it, the way he looked this morning and as late as it was with him still in bed, I bet he got drunk again last night too."

"Probably so, but that doesn't justify what he did. If he has a drinking problem, he should go into sick bay and get help."

"He can't, he's in the same boat I am. He got into trouble over his drinking when he was younger and, if it comes out, it would probably ruin his career and probably also that of the officer that covered it up for him. We did talk about it, he said it started again when he lost his grandfather's ashes because it was his grandfather, well his spirit or something, that kept him on the straight and narrow. I never knew him to drink too much before, so I think it's true. I think his grandfather had a drinking problem too, he had some sort of genetic mental problem and, when he wouldn't take his medicine, he would do crazy things and drink. Anyway, it's a long story, he said he would deal with it in his own way and I mistakenly trusted him on that. He believes in the traditional healing of his people and it usually works for him."

"Alright, Katie, we'll talk some more later. I think you need to lie down for a while and take a nap."

"No, I'm not supposed to nap. I left my car there, it wouldn't start, so I need to go see about getting it fixed."

"Sweetie, I think, under the circumstances, a nap would be OK and do you a world of good. You just rest and I'll take care of your car and fix you some food so you don't have to cook as I suspect you're going to be sore for a few days. Where's your car?"

"In the parking lot of the Gateway Apartment Building in San Francisco, first lower level, near the turbolifts."

Gretchen got up, threw a blanket over Kathryn and kissed her on the forehead. "You just rest and don't worry about a thing. We'll talk more later, it's not the end of the world, Kathryn, and you'll be better off without him, you'll see."

/\

Chakotay collapsed onto the floor and caressed the urn as he sobbed, "Oh, Grandfather, I love that woman more than anything in the universe, what have I done?" He inspected the urn and found it had been painstakingly pieced back together, the repairs were barely noticeable. As he opened the urn, Chakotay once again felt the spirit of his grandfather fill him. He had hoped his grandfather would come to him, speak to him, counsel him, when he needed it most. As he closed his eyes he saw his grandfather walk towards him, lay a tiny lizard at his feet and vanish back into the forest. Chakotay carefully picked up the lizard and held it in his hands; it was cold and dead. He took the little lizard's body, placed it in the urn, put the lid back on, sat it on the table, buried his face in his hands and cried.

When he awoke, Chakotay saw the full sun coming through the window and realized it must be close to noon. He went to his bedroom and looked through the apartment, but the woman was gone. There was an empty juice glass sitting on the kitchen table, so he surmised she must have had it and left. He replicated a cup of coffee, sat at the kitchen table and nursed it along as he tried to decide what to do. Chakotay grabbed the com link and was about to call Kathryn when he shoved it aside, not knowing what to say to her and certain she wouldn't answer anyhow. What could he say? He had no words to express how sorry he was and couldn't get the image of her face out of his mind as he had never seen such hurt in her eyes before. He went to the bathroom and ran the shower over his head until it beat some life back into him. As he went to the sink to shave, Chakotay saw that the woman had written "I'm sorry" inside a heart with her lipstick on the mirror. Chakotay wiped it off and stared at the man looking back at him, a man who had broken promises, betrayed the woman he loved and shamed his ancestors. "You fucking bastard!" he screamed as he punched him several times.

Chakotay's last punch was so strong it threw him backwards and he landed on the floor. He tried to push himself up, but slipped in the blood that was gushing from his hand. He grabbed a towel and tightly wrapped it to stop the bleeding. After a few minutes he sat up and cautiously unwrapped the towel to see if it had stopped, but it hadn't and blood began to run into his lap. Chakotay sat there and watched his blood drip down and pool onto the floor as he wondered if he should just stay there and die this way. Certainly he deserved to die after what he had done; it would be fitting that he should sit there and watch the bright red life ooze from his own body. He hadn't meant to kill himself, but this might have been the spirits' way of telling him it was his time, his time to atone. Chakotay shut his eyes as he wondered how long it would take, ten minutes, a half hour? A cold chill overtook him as he wondered if this was what death was like. He grinned, "cold as death", yeah, this must be it. His ancestors were supposed to greet him next, but Chakotay looked around and didn't see anyone. Suddenly he wondered if he would be alone, if they would shun him for doing what should never have been done and breaking a sacred trust. He looked off into the distance and saw Kathryn, Kathryn in the arms of another man as he made love to her. "Kathryn!" he shouted, "Kathryn please! No, come back to me, I'm sorry!" As Chakotay reached out for her, his hand bumped the vanity and the pain brought him back to reality. The wound had stopped bleeding and he was not dead.

He stood, ran some cold water over his hand and took a look. The mirror had cut him and it had bled profusely, but it didn't look all that bad, as the wound was deep, but not all that large. Chakotay knew he would need to get it taken care of, so he found a first aid kit under the sink. There was no dermal regenerator in it, so he applied an ointment and wrapped a bandage around the hand. He kicked a towel around on the floor to try to clean up the blood, but it needed to be scrubbed, so he left it for later and got dressed.

As he headed to the door, he saw Kathryn's purse and its contents strewn about the floor, picked everything up and put it back in the purse. Chakotay tucked it under his arm and headed to his car to get his hand taken care of and try to think of what he could possibly do to get Kathryn back, although he knew in his heart it was probably hopeless. On his way to his car he saw Kathryn's car and his clothes all over the floor beside it. His car was only a few spaces away, so he put the purse in the car and brought back a bag to put his clothing in. As he bent down to pick it up, the car door opened and smacked him to the floor.

"I hope you know what you did to my daughter, you two timing whore mongering bastard!" Gretchen yelled as she stepped out of the car.

He sat up, momentarily stunned, and stammered, "Gretchen, Mrs. Janeway, I'm sorry, I didn't see you."

She slammed the car door shut manually and dusted off her hands. "Well, I sure as hell saw you! How could you do that to my Katie, how could you?"

"I… I don't know, Ma'am, I don't even remember, I was drunk."

"And that makes it OK? Not only are you the most reprehensible bastard I've ever met, you're a good for nothing drunk too! You broke poor Katie's heart, I haven't seen her this upset since her dear father died." She kicked the pile of clothes at him. "Go on, get up off the floor and go crawl into a dark hole somewhere and think about what you did to the beautiful trusting woman that loved you." Gretchen stormed off towards the entrance to the garage. She didn't mean to get so vile, but sitting in her daughter's car while waiting for the repair shop to pick it up and looking at her blood all over the controls and knowing why it was there made her more than lose her temper.

Chakotay gathered his things, sat in his car and cried as he never had before. Gretchen was right, everything she had said about him was true and he wished he knew why he did it. It wasn't intentional or planned, it just happened, although he could barely remember the details. His hand started bleeding through the bandage again. He sat back and sobbed, he deserved to die.

/\

When Gretchen returned home Kathryn was awake, sitting on the sofa in the living room with a book in her lap, propped up on pillows so that she could keep her hands somewhat elevated. She handed her a bag. "Here, Katie, I got you a roast beef sandwich from the deli, on a hard roll, extra horseradish, just the way you like it, and there's a soda, chips and pickle in there too. How do you feel, Sweetheart?"

"I'm OK. It doesn't hurt so much now, I think the ice and the nap helped. Thanks, Mom."

It was obvious Kathryn's fingers were a little stiff, so her mother opened everything for her and placed it on the coffee table. She thought about mentioning she'd seen Chakotay and given him a piece of her mind, but decided it would be best not to. "I took care of your car, they towed it to the dealer and said they'd call me when they know what's wrong, but can probably have it ready late tomorrow, and I arranged for them to deliver it here and I'll take care of the bill." She laughed a little. "My gods, Katie, you beat the crap out of the poor thing, the man asked me if it had been vandalized."

"I was upset and I just needed to vent, I guess. I didn't mean to do any damage to me or it, I just lost it. I'll apologize to her when she comes home."

"Her?"

"My car, she's a she, like all good ships," Kathryn giggled

"OK, see that you do and it's good to see you smile. Katie, have you done any thinking?"

"I have. I'm over being mad, but still hurting too much inside right now to make any decisions and I want to take some time to think and talk to my counselor too and make sure I don't backtrack with my own problem. I just loved and trusted him so much, I never imagined he'd do that."

She handed Kathryn her sandwich, opened the chips and took a handful. "To be honest, neither did I. Maybe he's had a drinking problem for a long time and was good at covering it up. You know how long it was before we found out about your aunt."

"No, I think it's recent, because I noticed a change in him when it started. He wasn't drinking to excess back on the ship, I'm sure, because I was worried about morale and boredom and had the doctor monitor the crew very carefully for any substance abuse. He said it was because he lost his contact with his grandfather when he lost the ashes and that's when it started and I do believe that."

"Alright, Katie. Well, do you think you can manage OK on your own? I got you some food and put it in the kitchen, so you have plenty to eat. I'll call you after dinner and you can call me if you need anything, have trouble sleeping or just want to talk."

Kathryn got up and gave her mother a hug. I'm fine, Mom, I swear, and I will call if I need anything. Thanks again and you go on home. I'm sorry I made you rush out here like that, but I just didn't know what else to do."

Gretchen gave her a kiss and cradled her cheek. "I'm your mother, Sweetheart, you can always call me. Take care and I'll talk to you later. Just stay there and eat your lunch, I'll see myself out."

Kathryn ate most of her lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon reading. Not being in the mood for one of her usual romance novels, she chose a lighthearted tale about the travels of an inept tourist who had one misadventure after another in the Aldebaran Colonies. She was tired by dinner time and glad her mother had brought food she only had to heat up. Her sister called after dinner, but she didn't know if her mother had told her what happened or not. If she hadn't, Phoebe always knew when something was wrong anyway and would just tell Kathryn it was her fault for not sleeping with him, so she ignored the call. She and Phoebe were sisters, but their minds were very different on some subjects. Of course, her sister was happily married for almost twenty years, so maybe she did know something. Kathryn took a long hot bath to soak away the miseries of the day and read until she fell asleep.

The next morning her hands felt much better. They ached just a little and only really hurt when she tried to flex the fingers she had broken. The doctor had told her they would hurt for a day or two, so it was not a matter for concern, although she wouldn't be doing any home improvements or heavy work for another couple of days. After breakfast and a chat with her mother to assure her she was doing fine, Kathryn finally straightened the linen closet in the hall and went on to straighten the drawers and closets in her room to keep busy, believing work was the best therapy. Satisfied that the upstairs was in order, she went back downstairs, had some lunch and sat out by the pool to read for several hours. Just like clockwork, her bloodstream sent her to the house at three for her afternoon cup of coffee. Hungry again, she got out some cookies to have with it and settled on the sofa. The door chime sounded and she hurried to the door and opened it, anxious to see her car back in order.

"Hello, Kathryn," Chakotay mumbled, and then paused for a few seconds. "Here, you left your purse at my place and I thought I should return it right away," he said as he held the purse out. She just stood there, too shocked to move, as he was the last person she expected to see at her door. He tried to push the purse into her left hand and she jumped and cried out in pain. "Sorry, I didn't mean…"

"I hurt my hand," she interrupted, as she stared at it and rubbed her fingers.

"So did I," he said as he showed her his newly healed skin. Chakotay took a step forward and continued to hold out the purse. "I wanted to call you yesterday and again this morning, but I didn't know what to say and I didn't really think you'd talk to me." She just stood there, frozen, so he finally laid the purse at her feet as he said, "I'm sorry, Kathryn, more sorry than I have ever been. I'd ask for your forgiveness, but I know I don't deserve it." She was still unresponsive, so he took a few steps back. "Well, again, I'm sorry, and, if you never want to see me or speak to me again, I'll understand and leave you alone." He turned to leave and took a few steps before he looked back at her and, as his voice cracked, said, "I'm sorry, Kathryn. I love you and always will."

She bent down to pick up the purse and watched him walk back to his car. As she turned to go back in the house a voice from within made her shout, "Chakotay, wait!" He stopped, turned and looked at her. She stood and stared until she finally said, "I think I'd like to talk to you, I need you to answer some questions for me."

He was tempted to just walk away, as he was certain she would never forgive him and the only explanation he could offer her was that he had willingly chosen to betray her. He couldn't tell her why, for he didn't even know himself. He stood beside his car and looked at her standing on the sidewalk holding her purse. She had a very slight and decidedly crooked smile on her lips and her beautiful amber hair and dress were fluttering in the breeze. Chakotay chose to remember her that way as he got in his car and drove away.

Kathryn sat on the front step and closed her eyes as she willed the warmth of the afternoon sun to chase the chill from her heart. It was over. A lone tear slid down her cheek. She reached up to wipe it away, determined that it would be the last tear she'd shed for him. As she did her hand brushed up against the necklace he had given her. Kathryn tried to unfasten it, but her hands still weren't nimble enough to undo the clasp, so she ripped it off her neck. The stones, which were originally blue and had slowly changed to turquoise, then green, were now as clear and white as diamonds. She pressed the pendant to her lips, said goodbye and tossed it as far as she could throw it. Kathryn closed her eyes once again and took a moment to get ready to go back in the house and face the rest of her life. This time the sun was warm and entered her body, filling her with the strength and determination she needed to go on. She sat and soaked it up; she felt good, she felt strong. As a cloud blocked the sun, Kathryn remembered how she and Mark used to lay on their backs in the pasture at the farm for hours on end sometimes, look at clouds and try to decided what they looked like. She smiled and opened her eyes to see what this cloud looked like, hoping it would be a good omen.

"Kathryn, I drove to the gate and turned around and came back. I want to talk to you, if you'll talk with me," the voice that was blocking her sun quietly said.

She looked up at him. He was trying to smile slightly, but she could tell he had been crying. "OK, I have some questions I'd like to ask you."

"Alright." She made no move, so he asked, "May we go in the house and sit down?"

She moved over on the step. "No, I'd rather sit in the sun, I think I need it."

He sat next to her, being careful not to touch her. "OK, this is fine, but you don't need to be afraid of me, I wouldn't hurt you."

"You already have," she quipped. He looked at her and opened his mouth, but didn't reply. She went on. "Don't worry, I've vented my anger, had my cry and I'm just hurt and confused now. If I ask you some questions, will you answer me honestly?"

"Yes, but I can't tell you why it happened, I don't know."

"I didn't expect you to. Had you been seeing her behind my back?"

"No, I'd never met her before that night."

"Oh, was she a prostitute?"

"No! Kathryn, I'm ashamed to say I don't even know her name. I went to a lecture that night and had a few beers at a bar after, to discuss it with some of my colleagues. They left and what we'd discussed gave me some ideas for my research paper, so I took out my PADD and started to jot them down while they were still fresh in my mind. That woman came over and brought me another beer." He stopped and rubbed his eyes as they started to tear. "We started talking and I had a few more beers. OK, more than a few, and I got drunk. I don't know why, I just did. After that I don't remember much, I'm not even sure how I got home."

"How WE got home," Kathryn corrected. "Did you fuck her?"

He rubbed his face and searched for thoughts. "I suppose I did, when the door woke me, she was in my bed, but I was so drunk that night I don't remember exactly what did or didn't happen. Well, I remember she was giving me… Yes, Kathryn, there was intimacy involved. I cheated on you, is that what you want me to say?"

"You didn't have to," she dryly replied as she fiddled with the purse in her lap. "If I hadn't caught you, would you have told me?"

"Yes, I would have. Kathryn, I don't know what happened, I don't know why it happened, I just don't! It wasn't like I went out and decided to pick somebody up or be unfaithful to you or something like that, I swear. I cut my hand the next morning and went to the university clinic to get it fixed, because I didn't want Starfleet to know I'd gotten drunk and punched out a mirror. I even had the doctor check to see if she had drugged me or something, but there was nothing in me but alcohol and the pills I'd taken for my hangover."

"I see. Did it happen because I wouldn't make love with you?"

"No. When I told you I'd wait for you, I meant it. I love you, Kathryn."

"Do you? You haven't told me you love me in weeks, you know. I mean, until today, I can't remember the last time you said 'I love you' to me. I would say it to you and you'd say something nice back, but you never said I love you."

He hung his head. "I didn't realize. Kathryn, I went back to the university clinic today and signed up for counseling, their substance abuse program, I go to my first session tonight."

"Good for you," she idly replied as she played with the clasp on her purse.

"I had a vision quest last night and my grandfather came to me and said he would help me. He knew what I'd done, I didn't have to tell him, he knew everything and he knows how much I hurt you. He was with you for a time, whether or not you realized it, and he knows you too, he loves you and he said we belong together. I don't expect you to understand, but he's a spirit now and has wisdom we don't. Kathryn, I'll go see your counselor with you right now if you want, I'll do anything, anything you ask of me. If you want me to get down on my knees and beg, I will. I know I can't undo what I did, but I love you, I love you so much. Can we go to counseling together? Please?"

Kathryn slowly stood and looked down at him. "No, Chakotay, I'm sorry, but it's too late for that. I wish you'd gone when I first asked you to. If you had, maybe things wouldn't have come to this. I don't want to see you or hear from you again and I hope you'll respect my wishes." She headed for the door, but stopped and turned back before she went in. "Thank you for bringing my purse back." The door slowly closed behind her.

Chakotay remained on the steps, put his elbows on his knees and held up his head. He wished he had beamed there, for he certainly didn't feel like driving home. He tried to get Kathryn out of his mind as he ran through the things he had to do. He would have to go get a mirror to replace the one he broke at the Wildman's apartment, call his assistant to see how the classes she'd taught for him went as he'd called in sick and he had his first substance abuse counseling session that evening at eight. A neighbor passed by jogging down the street and exchanged pleasantries about the weather; he waved, wishing he could remember her name. He tried to think of which house she lived in, was it the big new one near the park? No, it was the one two doors down from that Andorian family, he was pretty sure. As he tried to remember the woman's name, he felt something touch his hand and jumped. "Oh, hi, Sara, what are you doing here?" He picked up the little dog and sat her on his lap. She wagged her tail, jumped up and licked his face as he looked around. "What are you doing here without your Mommy, huh? You know she doesn't let you run loose." He carried the dog back to Mrs. Westerman's back yard and went to put her back in when he noticed a pile of dirt and a hole under the fence. "Aha! So that's what happened!" he said as he carried the dog to the back door and knocked.

Mrs. Westerman answered quickly as she must have been in the kitchen. "Hello, Chakotay, so nice to see you. Please, come in, I was just about to have tea. Why don't you run next door and get Kathryn? We'll all have tea together, I'll just get two more cups and put out extra cookies."

He put the dog down on the floor in the kitchen. "I'm sorry, I was just leaving and Sara was running loose, so I brought her back. She dug a hole over by the lamp post and got out under the fence. I'll go get a shovel from the shed and fix it for you before I go."

"Oh, thank you so much, I don't know what I'd do if something happened to my dear little Sara! Yes, I would appreciate it if you could go fix it. Minou isn't here, she went to do some shopping for me. I don't expect her back until dinner time and the gardener just left. Oh, before you do please run and go get Kathryn, I'm sure she'd like to have tea with us."

"Uh, she isn't feeling well. She's resting, I was just over there."

"I see," she said as she poured the water in the teapot. "Well, since you're being so kind as to fix that hole for me, I insist you stay for tea. I hate to have tea alone and would really enjoy your company, Chakotay."

He didn't really want to stay, but he had a hard time lying to such a sweet face as his mind raced through his agenda. The Wildmans weren't going to be back for weeks, so there was no rush to fix the bathroom mirror, he could talk to his assistant tomorrow and he didn't really have to be anywhere until eight and could just have a quick dinner in town before the meeting. Chakotay looked up and smiled. "Yes, Ma'am, thank you, I should be done in five or ten minutes." When he was finished he washed up, carried in the tea tray and joined Mrs. Westerman on the sofa. She checked the teapot, smiled, picked up her cane and whacked him across the knees. "Owww! What was that for?"

She poured him a cup of tea, handed it to him and smiled. "Lying to me. Kathryn's mother stopped by yesterday, told me what happened and asked me to keep an eye on her, so cut the crap, Chakotay. Sugar, dear?"

"Yes, Ma'am, please," he replied as he swallowed hard and checked to see if his knees would still work.

"I would have found out about it anyhow, there are no secrets in Primrose Acres. My gardener just left and his brother-in-law runs the parts replicator at the dealership where they're fixing Kathryn's car. They should be delivering it back to her any minute now. Lemon or cream?"

"Lemon, please. Uh, what's wrong with her car? It's almost brand new."

"I know, he said she got a good deal on it too. The poor child was so upset on Thursday morning, her mother said she beat her hands on the control panel until she was all bloody, broke a couple bones and damaged the car so badly it wouldn't start. Her mother had it towed in and arranged to have it fixed. My, you are out of the loop, aren't you? So, you want to give me your version of what happened?"

He stared down into his tea as he stirred it. "Not really. Anyhow, you probably know more than I do."

She nudged his knees with her cane. "Don't make me use this again, dear. Now, Chakotay, I care about you and Kathryn, you're practically family to me and maybe I can help, so talk to me."

He took a sip of tea and cleared his throat. "There's nothing much to say. I went to a bar with some colleagues after a lecture we'd attended together and somehow ended up getting drunk and took some woman I didn't even know home and she spent the night. I was so plastered I don't even remember much more than that. Kathryn stopped by early the next morning to surprise me and she found out. Well, the woman walked out from the bedroom, that's how she found out."

"Naked, so I hear. Chakotay, if you're drinking so much you're doing things like that and don't even remember half of it, I think you should get some professional help."

"I am, I go to my first session tonight at eight. The problem only started recently, I swear. Well, I had a problem a long time ago and I guess it came back to haunt me. Kathryn left her purse at my apartment and I came over today to give it back to her. I didn't think she'd talk to me, but she did and said she doesn't want to see me again… and I can't blame her for that."

"Did you expect any different?"

"No, I guess not. She did listen to me though and didn't yell or name call, I'll give her credit for that."

"Well, she's over the anger now, but she's still in shock and hurting. I recall how you reacted when you saw a picture in the news and thought she was dating someone else, so multiply how that made you feel by a hundred. Am I correct in assuming you want to get back together with her?"

Chakotay was quick to answer. "Oh, yes, Ma'am! More than anything in the world, but she told me she didn't want to see me again or even to call her. She was pretty clear about that."

"Kathryn seldom minces words, except when she's lying as neither of you are very good at that. You hurt her, Chakotay, you betrayed a trust and it will take time for her to heal. I know she loves you and, if that love is as strong as I suspect it is, maybe she will forgive you. She's not the kind of woman who falls into love easily… or out. The first thing you need to do is take care of yourself, so you have to promise me you will dedicate yourself to your therapy and do everything they tell you."

"I will, I swear."

She gave him a pat on the hands. "See that you do! Well, I've taken up enough of your time, so I suggest you go and work on yourself and call me or stop by in a few days. I'll keep an eye on Kathryn and talk to her when she's ready. She doesn't seem to have any friends here in the neighborhood, so I suspect she'll get lonely pretty fast without you around. Don't you worry about her, she's strong, she'll be fine. You just make sure you take care of yourself and turn yourself into someone she'll want back." She picked up her cane and tapped it on the floor. "Do you hear me, young man?"

"Yes, Ma'am, loud and clear. Thank you so much, I'm glad I stopped by. Stay there, I'll see myself out and call you soon. Thank you again and don't forget to call me if you need anything." Chakotay smiled and left.

Mrs. Westerman took a cookie off the tray and gave it to Sara. "Good dog, you fetched him just like I told you and he even thought it was you that dug that hole and not the gardener! We'll get those two back together yet, won't we?"

/\

The next week passed slowly. By Monday, both Kathryn and Chakotay were recovered from their physical injuries. Kathryn still had work to do on her stairs and decided to take out some half dead bushes in the back yard, so that and some novels her mother sent her kept her busy. She also had to go over her notes and prepare for the upcoming promotions review board meeting the next week. They had vetoed some of her suggestions at the last meeting and Kathryn had finally convinced them to meet with her again to reconsider, as she believed the crewmen were deserving. She knew Chakotay might be asked to attend the same meeting, but she was confident she could face him and deal with him on a professional level and that was all she wanted to do. They would most likely be working together once they went back on duty and Kathryn knew she had to put the past to rest and deal with it. It would be awkward at first, but Starfleet came first and she could give him orders, so she was confident everything would eventually work out. She had once had to work with an old boyfriend after a break up, so she could do it again if she had to.

Chakotay threw himself into the research article he was writing and spent a lot of time at the library. His first counseling session went well, he liked the woman and she seemed to not only understand his traditional beliefs about healing, but be interested in learning more about them. She encouraged him to join a group session, however he declined, saying he was uncomfortable speaking to a group and would attend as many private sessions as she thought necessary. On her advice, he totally abstained from any alcoholic beverages, although he was certain it was only the beer that was a problem for him. He didn't know if there were some component in beer that triggered it, the fact that it was what his grandfather indulged in or what, but he was determined he, his counselor and his grandfather's spirit would be all he needed to exorcize his demons. As for getting back together with Kathryn, that would take some doing.

Kathryn was late for the afternoon promotions review meeting at Starfleet and hurried into the room after the rest of the group was seated. She made her apologies and took her seat, noticing that Chakotay was at the far end of the table, on the same side as she, but they were separated by several people and really couldn't see one another unless they both leaned forward at the same time. The meeting took about two hours and she left satisfied, as they had seen things her way and eventually approved the promotions she recommended of all but two crewman. She couldn't totally fault them as both were capable of outstanding work, but sporadic in the quality of their work, and one was a frequent discipline problem. Chakotay spoke during the meeting as well, but they never actually spoke to one another. Kathryn left the meeting with Admiral Paris, as he wanted to speak to her in his office about the Delta Quadrant program that was in development at the academy. She was feeling very good, as she was pretty certain he would ask her to head it and hoping, at the least, to find out what her exact assignment would be after her leave was up. She had bought a house and settled down, so she wanted to be assigned to the academy and figured, once she made admiral, she could have her pick of missions if she ever wanted to go back into space again.

When they arrived at Paris' office, Commodore Sandoval was waiting for Admiral Paris, so he asked Kathryn to wait in his outer office while they went into his private office. There was a pot of coffee calling her name and it was after three, so Kathryn chose the largest mug, poured herself a cup and sat on the comfortable sofa to enjoy it. Paris' aide chatted with her briefly, but in her contact with the aide since her return, Kathryn had found her to be a minimalist when it came to conversation, quite sullen in disposition and she wondered how Paris tolerated her. Kathryn remembered a plate of cookies next to the coffee pot and eyed them from across the room. They were calling her name as well. As she crossed the room to get some the door opened and she found herself face to face with Chakotay.

He obviously didn't expect to see her there, but managed to get a polite "Captain" out of his mouth before he stepped to the aide's desk and spoke with her. Kathryn sat and studied her cookie as the aide pointed to the waiting area and Chakotay eventually got himself a cup of tea and some cookies and sat on a chair adjacent to the sofa. He cleared his throat and said, "She told me to wait here, Paris wants to see me."

Kathryn didn't look up as she replied, "Me too."

"Do you know what it's about?"

"No."

"How have you been?"

"Fine."

That was the extent of the conversation as Chakotay studied his cookie and Kathryn stared at her PADD. Admiral Paris called and spoke to his aide, although they couldn't hear the conversation from where they were sitting. She used the computer for a few moments, loaded something into a PADD and went into his office. Kathryn and Chakotay sat in silence as they sipped from their mugs and nibbled at cookies.

Chakotay finally broke the silence. "So, did you finish your stairs? How did they turn out?"

"OK, except there's some bubbles in the finish. I put it on with a brush like the man at the hardware store said, to be authentic to the period of the house. It seems, no matter what I did, there were little air bubbles that looked like pimples or little craters when it dried."

Chakotay smiled. "When you coat wood like that and want a really perfect finish, you have to take a pin or a needle and break the bubbles. It's an old trick, didn't he tell you that?"

"No." Kathryn finally put her PADD aside and looked his way. "Is there any way to fix it now?"

"No, you'd have to sand lightly and apply another coat of finish. How many did you put on?"

"Two."

"Well, unless you plan to re-carpet the stairs, you really should have three coats anyhow. "I could come over and do it for you this weekend."

"No, thanks." She finally gave him a good look. "You cut your hair."

He ran his fingers through it. "Yeah, I wanted to let it grow, but I had to when Paris called me in and I had to get back into uniform. They didn't really need me here today, I don't know why I got called in."

"Neither do I."

He waited, but she didn't say anything more, so he asked her, "So, how is Mrs. Westerman?"

"She's fine. You were just over there yesterday, you should know. I saw your car."

"I was going to come over and say hello, but I thought maybe you wouldn't want to see me."

"I wouldn't have."

"I figured."

She finally made eye contact with him. "Look, Chakotay, we'll undoubtedly have to see each other here and I can deal with that and be civil, but I don't want to see you or talk to you any more than I have to." Kathryn gave him a hard cold stare. "Is that understood, Commander?"

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied, wishing she hadn't chosen to play her trump card so soon. Chakotay noticed she had eaten all her cookies, so he went to get the plate and put it on the table between them as he said, "These cookies are really good."

"Yes, they are. I think Mrs. Paris makes them, I know I've had them here before." She took another and slowly ate it as she looked around the room.

"I'll have to ask her for the recipe next time I see her. Kathryn, I'm in counseling now, I go four times a week, and I haven't touched a drop of alcohol, I swear. I'm doing fine and I have Grandfather back to help me, so I know I won't have any more problems. I don't think I ever thanked you for returning him to me. Thank you, it meant a lot to me and I really appreciate that you went to all that trouble and expense."

"You're welcome." She looked up over her mug and added, "I guess you were a little too busy that morning to thank me?"

Chakotay sat in silence, for he had nothing to say to that. He finally blurted out, "Kathryn, has it ever occurred to you that I wouldn't have started drinking again if you hadn't gone in my room and messed with the urn? I know you didn't know and you apologized and I forgave you, but I only started drinking again after you spilled the ashes and that's the only reason I got so drunk and did something I never would have done otherwise. I've tried and I can't remember a thing that night and I can't for the life of me fathom how it happened. I was sure she was some crazy stalker fan and drugged me or something, I still don't believe they didn't find anything in me and the whole thing makes me feel violated. Kathryn, I love you and I miss you. Isn't there some way you would reconsider and accept my apology?"

"No," she was quick to reply.

"Please, won't you at least see a counselor with me? Maybe, with some help, we can sort this out? What I miss the most is your friendship. Kathryn, can you honestly look me in the face and say you don't miss that too?"

She took a sip of coffee and thought. "Well, yes, I do miss that, I'll admit; we were good friends for a long time."

"Couldn't we be again?"

"No, I don't think so. It would be too awkward."

"Kathryn, being good friends and also running a starship and being in a command structure was awkward too, but we managed, didn't we?"

"Yes, I suppose we did, but this is different, Chakotay. We weren't dating back then, we were just friends."

"That's all I'm asking, just for your friendship again. We don't have to date and there doesn't have to be anything physical, I'll even promise not to touch you if you want, but I would really like for us to try and be friends again." He smiled, "If nothing else, it would make work more pleasant, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose," she admitted halfheartedly.

The admiral and the commodore, accompanied by the aide, came out of Paris' office. Kathryn and Chakotay both stood, snapped to attention and greeted them.

Paris motioned for the commodore to go ahead of him as he said, "I'm so sorry, but I have a situation I need to attend to immediately and I'm not going to be able to see you today. It wasn't anything important, I'll just speak with you next time I see you. Sorry you had to wait for nothing. Dismissed."

They looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders slightly. Kathryn looked at Paris' aide, however she didn't offer any further information and it wouldn't have been proper to ask, so they left the office together and shared the turbolift down to the lobby.

Chakotay asked Kathryn, "Did you drive in or beam?"

"I drove."

"I walked. May I walk you to your car? I have to go that way anyhow."

"I suppose," she said, for he really did have to go through the parking lot to head back towards the university the most expeditious way. On the way they chatted about the weather and what could have possibly been going on that Paris and Sandoval had to rush off to, but neither had a clue. Kathryn thought of offering him a ride, but knew he would just want to talk more, so she decided not to.

Kathryn opened her car, tossed her briefcase in and got in as Chakotay asked, "Kathryn, how about we go grab some early dinner? There's some other tricks to get a really good finish on your stairs and I could explain them to you. How about it, no strings, just two friends eating dinner, my treat?"

"No thanks, I have plans."

"Oh?" he asked, hoping she would elaborate.

"If you have to know, my cousin Joe had to come into San Francisco today on business and we're meeting for dinner. Satisfied?"

"Yes, Kathryn, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," he lied. "I hope you have a good time. Take care of yourself and you know you can call me if you need any help with the house."

"Thanks, goodbye," she said before she drove off.

Admiral Paris turned from the window and joined Commodore Sandoval as he said, "The situation may not be as grave as we think. Chakotay just walked her back to her car. I sure hope we got them talking and those two get back together again, they've both been miserable. Thanks for helping me, Bob, it was a good plan."

"No problem, Owen, officers are most efficient when they're happy and Janeway and Chakotay make a cute couple! Maybe we could get them stuck in a turbolift together next time?"

"Good thinking! Another cookie?"

"Don't mind if I do."

/\

Kathryn met her cousin in front of the building where he had gone for his meeting. She and her cousin got along well, but she knew he had probably only asked her to have dinner with him because he'd told her mother he'd be in the city and Gretchen was trying to get Kathryn from being such a recluse since her break up with Chakotay. It was true, except for her mother and neighbor, the only people she'd seen were the ones in the grocery and hardware stores. Her cousin Joe was divorced and much more social than Kathryn, so Gretchen was undoubtedly hoping he could introduce her to some new friends and get her out more.

Joe took a PADD out of his briefcase and handed it to Kathryn after they said hello in the car. "Here, Katie, one of the guys there told me about this fantastic little place that he said had the best tapas in town. Let's go there!" He gave her the PADD. "He gave me directions, do you know the place?"

She looked at the PADD. "No, but I know that street and it's close, so we'll find it and I think that sounds perfect. Oh, don't worry, I'll take off my jacket and I brought another shirt to put on so I don't look so Starfleet. I get recognized way more in uniform and I'm hoping we can sit in the back and not be disturbed. You remember the fiasco last time we went out for dinner together?"

"Yes," he laughed, "I sure do. Somebody at work brought in one of those tabloids with a picture and I was quite the celebrity around the office for a couple days, although I took a lot of ribbing for 'dating' my cousin. I get asked if I'm related to you all the time. Hey, if it helps me sell more fully automated recycling systems, I'm all for it! I think I sold one today, they were very interested."

"Great! Joe, I know you're only eating dinner with me because Mom put you up to it. If you'd rather go back home or go out and have some fun, that's fine."

"Katie, you're my cousin and I like getting together and you are fun. We've been close ever since I stopped beating up on you and stealing your hover board when we were kids. Yes, Aunt Gretchen called me, but I like getting together with you and, don't worry, I'm not going to try to set you up on a blind date behind your back or any of that crap like she wants. It takes time after a break up, I know that, it was months before I was ready to date again after Jenny and I split up. How are you doing, Katie?"

"Fine. I never did go out much and I get recognized too often anyhow, so I prefer to stay home and I have a lot of work to do on my house. I'm fine, really."

"Well, OK. There!" he pointed, "That's the place!"

Kathryn parked the car, put another top on and a scarf over her head and they went in and got a table in the back corner. The place didn't look like much, but Joe was right and the food was absolutely marvelous, the best tapas either of them had ever had, and the wine the waiter suggested was excellent as well. They had fun discussing childhood memories until Joe got a call that interrupted them just after they had ordered a second round of tapas.

He refilled Kathryn's wineglass as he said, "That was the guy I went to see today, he wants to buy the whole system! Katie, I'm sorry, but I have to get right back there, it's a huge commission and I have to jump on it. I'll take a cab, so why don't you stay here and enjoy your dinner? I'm sorry, I'll take care of the check and we'll come back here again next time I'm in town."

Kathryn gave him a hug and a pat on the back. "Thanks so much and congratulations! Don't worry about it, this was a business trip after all. Call me, I do want to get together again, Joe. Promise?"

"I swear!" he said as he gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I gotta run, but if this goes through, I'll be able to buy a new car! See ya, Katie, take care. Call me!"

Joe ran off to meet with his client and left Kathryn alone. She wasn't that hungry when they got there because she'd eaten so many cookies, but the food was so good her stomach found room for it. As she finished off the last of it, she felt a tap on the shoulder accompanied by a woman asking "Is your name Kathryn?"

Kathryn ducked her head and fumbled for her purse, fearing she would have to make a mad dash for the door and not be able to finish her wine. She reluctantly answered yes as she turned and looked up, hoping the woman just wanted an autograph and she could get away otherwise undisturbed.

The woman joined her at the table. "I thought I recognized you, I want to talk to you, I have to."

Kathryn thought she looked familiar, but couldn't place her. She had met so many people since her return, that she couldn't possibly remember them all, and this woman didn't look like a reporter. She gave her a slight smile. "Well, yes, but I have an appointment, I was just leaving."

"You don't remember me, do you?"

"No, I'm sorry, I don't."

The woman stared down at the table and played with the wine cork as she spoke. "I'm ashamed to say, I'm… I'm the woman that was… was with your husband, but I want to explain."

Kathryn looked at her and finally recognized her, for she looked quite different than the last time she'd seen her. She got up from the table to leave as she said, "I don't think any explanations are necessary."

The woman grabbed her arm and made her sit back down. "Please, I want to explain, I have to! It wasn't what it looked like. I mean, it was, but it wasn't. I feel terrible about what I did. Please, let me explain."

"Well, alright," Kathryn reluctantly agreed, as the woman wasn't giving her much of a choice without making a scene.

The woman started sobbing as she went on. "I did a terrible thing that night and I didn't realize it until the next day. I had just broken up with my boyfriend, he's a bartender here, and I was mad and wanted to get back at him, so I'm ashamed to say I got drunk and wanted to pick up the first guy I could so he'd see me leaving with another guy. It wasn't until the next day, after you came and I saw the picture of you on the table by the bed, that I realized he was married and I'd probably ruined a marriage."

"We aren't married," Kathryn interrupted.

"But, he was your boyfriend or something?"

"Well, yes."

"Oh, gods, I'm so sorry! I got him drunk, he was so drunk I don't think he knew what day it was. I had to get him drunk because he wasn't interested in me. He kept going on about Kathryn and I finally told him I was Kathryn and… Oh, it was wrong of me, so wrong. He was so shit faced I think he thought I was you, I don't know. He was just being nice, polite, listening to my sad sob story, until I got him to drink more and then he was all messed up. He said he'd shouldn't drink more, he had to work on some book or something and was going on about his grandfather, but I kept buying him beers and making him drink them. It was my doing, he didn't try to pick me up or anything, he was just there working on something and he was alone and cute and I…"

"I see," Kathryn said, not sure what else to say.

The woman broke down and sobbed so loudly she started attracting attention, so Kathryn finally patted her arm to try to quiet her down as attention was the last thing she wanted. The woman grabbed Kathryn's hands and held them so forcefully her nails dug in. "Look, what I did was wrong and I'm so sorry, but I think it only happened because he was so drunk and messed up I convinced him I was you. He kept mumbling your name and saying 'I love you, Kathryn' over and over. He didn't ask me to go home with him, but he'd told me where he lived and I got us a cab and the doorman told me which apartment it was. He was so messed up he couldn't remember and I needed help to get him up there. If it means anything, I admit I tried, but nothing happened that night; he was so drunk he passed out and then I did too. The next morning, after you came, he laid there on the floor and cried and cried and I did too once I realized what I'd done and I left. I'm so sorry, but he didn't do anything and I only got him drunk to take advantage of him and get back at my boyfriend and he was a cute guy. You should have seen him after you left, it's obvious he loves you very much. I don't deserve any forgiveness, but I really think he does because it was my fault. He was a nice guy who'd had too much to drink and that's exactly what I needed. He just sat there and talked to some old jar and said how he wanted to die because he'd lost you. Lady, that man really loves you. Did I break the two of you up?"

"Yes, but not that it's any of your business," Kathryn dryly replied, for she was still in the process of taking everything in.

"Well, I'm not lying to you, what reason would I have to? Look, lady, I don't know who you are, but I know that Chakotay loves you and he was going on about spirits and some sort of stuff, so I think it must be true and that's why you came in here today, so that I could explain it to you. It was fate. You believe in fate, don't you?"

"Well, yes, I suppose I do," Kathryn said as she swirled her wine and took a sip. "Did Chakotay ask you to speak to me?"

"No, I've never seen him again and I don't want to, I'd be too ashamed and I doubt he'd ever come in here again. I'm here all the time and I'd never seen him in here before. I left him a note on the mirror and said I was sorry because he was asleep on the floor with that jar when I left. I'm sorry, I've taken up enough of your time and thank you for hearing me out, I really wanted to tell you and say how sorry I am and that he really wasn't to blame." She pointed to the bar and waved. "Joachim and I got back together again, so I really hope you guys do too. Chakotay is a nice guy and he loves you and I hope you'll forgive him because all he did really was have too much to drink and the rest was my doing."

The woman smiled and left. Kathryn sat for a while as she finished her wine and thought over what the woman had said. She knew Chakotay couldn't handle beer, but he knew that too and shouldn't have had any to begin with. He was trusting to a fault and would certainly have given someone a shoulder to cry on. She was confident the woman wasn't lying when she said he hadn't asked her to talk to him as he'd said he couldn't even remember her name and she was probably the last person he'd ever want to see again anyhow. Chakotay was obviously being honest when he said he didn't remember what had happened that night after he left the bar, it seemed everything he had told her was the truth as far as he knew it. She had never known him to be a womanizer, although she got the impression he might have been that way in his younger days, but certainly not since she met him.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Joe!" Kathryn exclaimed as she was startled back to reality.

He joined her. "It didn't take as long as I thought, but I'm happy to say they signed the contract and we'll work out the details later. I took a chance you might still be here, so I took a cab back to surprise you and figured I'd just get more to eat if you weren't. I'm glad you're still here. What's wrong, Katie, you look upset. Did some fans hassle you or something?"

"No, no, nothing like that, but I just had the strangest conversation. I'm sorry, I'm glad you're back, let's order more food and I'll have a little and then we can have dessert."

He summoned the waiter and they ordered. "OK, who'd you talk to that's got you so upset?"

"I'm not upset, I'm fine."

"Katie, don't lie to me, you're upset. What, did some guy hassle my pretty cousin?"

"Phoebe is your pretty cousin and, no, it was a woman." She stared down at the table for a few seconds before she went on. "Joe, it was the woman that was with Chakotay, he met her in this place, it happened here, I had no idea."

"Oh," was all he could reply, at a loss for words. "Katie, if you want to get out of here, let's go. Aunt Gretchen told me all about what happened, I know and I'm sorry. Come on, Katie, let's go." He tried to get her up from the table, but she refused.

"No, no, it's fine. I don't want to leave, this is a nice place and the woman left. Joe, she explained to me what happened and said she got him drunk and nothing really happened, they didn't have sex. She'd broken up with her boyfriend, who works here, and wanted him to see her leave with another man to get back at him, so she got Chakotay drunk and left with him. She said he passed out when she got him back to his apartment, he was so sloshed the doorman had to help them, and she admitted she tried, but they didn't do anything. She said he was so messed up he thought she was me or something." She rubbed her head and sighed, "Oh, I don't know!"

"I don't know either, Katie, that sounds fishy to me."

"I agree, but, like she said, she has no reason to lie. It all makes sense as I couldn't imagine he'd pick up some woman in a bar, except that, well, he asked and I told him I wasn't ready to sleep with him yet." She grinned, "He gets horny when he's drunk and, well, he's a guy, you know."

"Katie, Aunt Gretchen said he's a drunk, so maybe you're better off without him? Guys like that are no good, they do stuff and then try to blame it on the booze and you deserve better. I can't imagine being so drunk you end up in bed with someone you thought was someone else, can you?"

Kathryn thought. "Well, no, but I've only been really drunk once or twice and I all I did was throw up and went to bed… alone."

He gave her a nudge under the table. "I know, I was there one time, when you and Cousin Bobby and his girlfriend and I stole a bottle of gin at that family reunion picnic at Nana's, remember?"

"Oh, gods, I'm still trying to forget and my stomach still turns if I so much as smell gin, even now. At least our parents bought the story about eating too much potato salad and maybe it'd gone bad in the heat."

Joe laughed, "Yeah, we fooled 'em. Anyhow, I think you know I cheated on Jenny and, yeah, I'd had a few drinks that night, but, let me assure you, Jenny was farthest from my mind at the time. If I'd been thinking of her, I never could have done it, so I find it hard to believe that crap about him thinking she was you or whatever. Did she look like you?"

"No, not at all," she said as the waiter brought their food. She waited until he had served it and they both filled their plates. "Joe, if I may ask, why did you cheat on Jenny?"

"I can't really tell you why, I don't even know myself. I went to Shanghai on business and had a couple drinks in the bar at the hotel after my meetings because they didn't go well and it just happened. This woman and I got to talking. She was pretty and obviously looking for a little fun and I kept drinking and we ended up back in my room before I knew it. She's the one who had the idea and started it, but I'm the one who didn't say no. The drinking impaired my judgment I'm sure, but I won't lie to you, I knew what I was doing and it nearly tore my heart out when I told Jenny and I still feel bad about it all these years later."

"But Jenny forgave you?"

"Yes, she did, it had nothing to do with the divorce. I don't have a drinking problem, you can count the number of times I've been shit faced drunk on one hand. Well, Katie, I suggest you forget about him and move on. Aunt Gretchen said the two of you had a lot of problems, so it's probably what's best. I never thought I'd get over Jenny when we split up, but you do. When you're ready, if you're interested, I know a guy at work you might like and I'd be glad to introduce you and he doesn't drink at all. You could meet him with a group, if that would be easier for you."

Kathryn smiled as she popped an olive in her mouth. "OK, that sounds good, let me know."

/\

Mrs. Westerman opened her door and gave Chakotay a hug. "It's so good to see you, thanks for coming! I haven't had any visitors except Kathryn in nearly a week and was so lonely. How are you, how are you doing? Come sit in the living room with me."

He joined her on the sofa as Sara hopped up between them. "I'm doing fine, how have you been?"

"Just fine. Still going to counseling?"

"Oh, yes Ma'am, four times a week and I haven't touched a drop to drink. Now that I have Grandfather back, I'm doing fine. My counselor wants to see me for at least another month or two, but I really think I'll be OK. I've been out looking at houses and…"

"No, Chakotay, I don't need a rundown! What I meant to ask was how are you doing inside? Has your heart mended?"

"No, not really. I still miss Kathryn terribly and want to get back together with her, but she's not interested. There's been pictures of her in the tabloids with some guy, well you can't trust them, but there were two with the same guy at different places. Maybe they're dating?"

"Oh, yes, that." She had hoped he didn't know. "Yes, she has been seeing some man her cousin fixed her up with a couple of times I guess, but I don't think it's serious and I haven't seen him over at her house. She told me he's nice, but they don't have much in common and I get the impression she's only going out with him to get her family off her back and appease her cousin as they all seem to think she needs to get out. One thing I can tell you is she doesn't talk about him the way she used to talk about you, that's for sure. Have you talked to her at all?"

"No, the last time I saw her was when we were both at Starfleet for a meeting. I called her a few days later to say hi, but she didn't return my call, so I don't think she wants to talk to me."

"Maybe it's too soon?"

He picked up the dog and hugged her as he sighed, "Maybe it's too late?"

"Nonsense! I know what, my grandson gave me two tickets to see the Bajoran Tenors, but it would be too late an evening for me and Minou curled her lip when I suggested classical music, so let me give them to you and why don't you go in the den and call Kathryn and invite her? I know she'd love to go, she just adores classical music too, doesn't she?"

"Yes, she does."

"And the call would be coming from my com link, so she'd answer it and I know she's home right now. Go on, what have you got to lose? Tell her I gave you the tickets, they're right there on my desk, and I bet she'll say yes and maybe she'll even come over and join us for tea in a bit." She grabbed her cane, tapped it on the floor and smiled. "Go call!"

"Yes, Ma'am, thank you," he mumbled as he went to the den and sat at her com link. He stared at it a while before he finally called. The conversation didn't last long and he returned to the sofa, sat and picked up the dog again as he said, "She said no. She was nice about it anyhow and I know she'd really like to see that concert, but she said no, she didn't want to go out with me. She looked good and she was nice and talked a little and even smiled when she said goodbye, but she said no."

"I'm sorry, Dear." She reached over and pinched his cheek. "Well, she did smile, that's progress, right?"

"I guess."

"Well, let's go make tea and I'm sure you'll feel better after a nice hot cup of tea and wait 'til you see the cakes I have today!"

/\

Three days later Chakotay was back at Mrs. Westerman's. Her companion Minou answered the door and led him to the back deck, where Mrs. Westerman was sitting reading. She looked up and smiled. "My, what a surprise and I see you brought a friend! Who do we have here?"

"Well, she doesn't really have a name," he said as he put the little dog down on the ground. "I've just been calling her Sweetie. She'd been running around the campus for about a week and some people would feed her scraps, but you can see she's thin as a rail and looks like she's been a stray for quite a while. Some of the kids would tease her too and she'd dart in and out of traffic and I think she was living under a tool shed. I felt sorry for her, so I took her home."

"Well, she does look a bit worse for the wear and she's quite shy, but I bet she'll clean up nicely." She turned and yelled, "Minou, can you bring me Sara's grooming basket please? Here, put her on my lap, please, and let me see what I can do for her."

"Thank you. She smelled awful, so I gave her a bath, but I didn't really have anything to brush her out nice or get the tangles out and I was afraid to cut anything and make her look even worse. I don't really know how to groom a dog."

"I can tell," she said as she looked over the dog, that looked more or less like a small tan dust mop. "Well, look at her teeth, she's obviously quite young, almost still a pup. Sit still, Sweetie, and I'll make you pretty! She's a cute little thing."

"Yes, Ma'am, and she's friendly once she gets to know you. Do you have any idea what kind of dog she is?"

"I think she's like my Sara, a little of this, a little of that. They're the best kind of dogs, you know! I think she's probably full grown and her hair should get longer, that much I can tell you. How is she getting along in your apartment? Is she house trained?"

He smiled. "Not exactly, but we're working on it. My apartment is the problem, it belongs to some friends who are on an extended vacation and pets aren't allowed there. A neighbor saw me with the dog and told me. She said she wouldn't report me, but they'd find out sooner or later. That's why I brought her over, Mrs. Westerman, she reminded me so much of Sara and I thought she might like to have a little friend to play with or would you be willing to keep her until I can move someplace where I could have her?"

"That's very sweet of you, dear, but this dog is almost a puppy and, at my age, it wouldn't make much sense to get a puppy. I can't keep up with one and Minou would have to do all the work and she isn't very fond of dogs, I'm afraid. Sara is almost twenty and she sleeps most of the time and doesn't need much exercise, so she and I get along fine. This dog needs someone more active who'll be around a lot longer than I will. I'm sorry, dear, but I can't keep her. I will get her fixed up nice for you though and maybe the next person you show her to will take her?" She chatted with the little dog as she brushed out her mats. "Oh yes, Sweetie, we're going to make you very very pretty! I wonder where you came from, you poor little thing? Well, you don't have to worry any more, we'll find you a good home!"

She worked on the dog for more than an hour. It would have taken half that much time if the dog didn't wiggle so much. She combed and brushed and used this spray and that and finally had little Sweetie looking like a dog someone would want. "There you go," she said as she tied a pink bow on the hair she'd gathered on top of the dog's head, "You look like a little angel!" She handed to dog back to Chakotay. "You wait here, I know someone who was looking for a small dog, let me go call and see if they found one. I'll be right back and I'll have Minou bring some lemonade."

Chakotay put the dog down on the ground and followed her around the back yard as she explored. Chakotay really loved the little dog and wished he could keep her, but knew it would still be some time before he bought a house and she would be discovered at the apartment building soon enough. He had considered taking her to the shelter, but just couldn't bring himself to do it as this little dog had obviously had a hard life and deserved better. He'd had a devil of a time catching her and only her hunger and his quick wits won out. He had actually cried real tears the first time she voluntarily came up to him in the apartment and showed him some affection. She was still shy, but she trusted him now and would soon learn to trust others.

Mrs. Westerman returned with Minou, who put the lemonade on the table, took one look at the dog and went back in. "I'm sorry, they already found a dog and aren't ready for another yet. I'll keep thinking, I know lots of people who like dogs. I'll call Peggy Wentworth this evening, she makes everybody's business hers, so she may know of someone, and I'll tell my vet about her as she might know of someone too. Come sit and have some lemonade and here's some dog cookies too. Maybe little Sweetie is hungry?"

Chakotay joined her at the table and laughed, "She's always hungry! Thank you again for grooming her, she looks wonderful. Come here, Sweetie, here's a cookie!" The dog cautiously approached, finally took the cookie and sat under Chakotay's chair to eat it.

Mrs. Westerman gave one to Sara as she said, "I know of the perfect person for that dog!"

"Who?"

"Kathryn! She was playing with Sara just yesterday and said how much she loves dogs and wants one so she won't be so lonely. Why don't you take her over there and ask? How could she refuse a face like that?"

"Yes, Kathryn loves dogs and did tell me she wanted to get one, but maybe it would work better if you asked her?"

"Nonsense. Get Sweetie and go right over there and ask her. I can't walk that far and my hover chair would scare her, they take some getting used to for a dog… or for an old lady for that matter. Go on, go ask her."

Chakotay reached down and picked up the dog. "OK, Kathryn would be a good home and she knows all about how to take care of a dog. Alright, I'll go ask her."

"That's the spirit and who could refuse a cute little face like that? The worst she could do is say no, right?"

"I guess," he replied as he carried the dog to Kathryn's front door and rang the chime. She answered quickly. Chakotay cradled the dog in his arms as he said, "Hello, Kathryn. I found this stray dog and took her in and brought her next door because I thought maybe Mrs. Westerman would want to adopt her, but she says she's too old for a young dog like her, so I was wondering if you might be interested?"

She smiled as she looked at the dog. "Well, I don't know."

"She's very sweet and I'd love to keep her, but pets aren't allowed at my apartment, so I can't. It could just be temporary if you want and I'll pay her expenses and come get her when I have a house and I'm settled. Won't you at least spend some time with her and see if you like her? I'll wait outside if you want."

She opened the door all the way. "No, come in and I'll take a look at her. She's cute, what's her name?"

Chakotay followed Kathryn into the living room and handed her the dog. "Well, I've just been calling her Sweetie for now, but I figured whoever adopted her would give her a better name. She was a stray on campus and she's a little shy at first."

Kathryn sat on the sofa, put the dog on her lap and stroked her. "She's cute! Chakotay, you can sit down if you want."

"Thanks," he replied as he sat at the other end of the sofa. "She really likes it if you scratch behind her ears. Mrs. Westerman just groomed her for me, she was a mess and she's real thin, but she eats well." Chakotay watched as Kathryn played with the dog and could tell the dog liked her. "So, how have you been?"

"Fine, thanks. Ohhh, yes, she really likes that, don't you Sweetie? Oh, come here and let me give you a hug!" The dog seemed to know this was her chance and wagged her tail and licked Kathryn's face. "Oh, you like to give kisses too?" She gave the dog a hug. "Chakotay, she really is a sweet little dog, but I just don't know."

"Kathryn, couldn't you at least keep her until I can find her a home? I can't keep her at the apartment and I don't really know about training dogs and all and Mrs. Westerman knows a lot of people and she said she'd help me to find her a home. I was going to go visit my sister this weekend, it's her birthday, and I can't take the dog with me. Please, couldn't you keep her?"

"Well alright, I do want a dog, but I was planning to wait a while until I had things worked out. I guess little Sweetie here just had other ideas! Oh, come here and let me give you a hug, I'm your new mommy!"

"Thank you, Kathryn, thank you so much! She really is a great little dog and I know you'll take good care of her. If you want to keep her forever, that's fine, but I'll take her when I get settled if you want."

"OK, we'll see how it works out. I've really missed having a dog, I go next door sometimes just to play with her dog. Well, we're going to have to get you some things, won't we? Does she have a leash and a collar?"

"No, I haven't had a chance to get her anything. Let's go to the pet supply store and I'll get her whatever she needs. You already have a crate, right?"

"Oh, yes, I have that one I got for my sister's dog. It's too big for her, but it'll do. Have you taken her to the vet?"

"No, not yet, I've only had her a couple days. Let me know what vet you want to use and I'll arrange it for you. Mrs. Westerman uses that one in town on Elmwood street, she says she's great, would that be OK?"

"Yes, she's very particular, so I'm sure she's the best, but I'll take care of it."

"No, Kathryn, I said I would. I found the dog so I'll see to her expenses, I insist."

"Alright, thank you, Chakotay." She handed him the dog. "Say thank you, Sweetie." Happy to be back with the person she had come to love, Sweetie barked and licked his face. "She really does love you," Kathryn said as she pet the dog.

Chakotay smiled, "I'm not such a bad guy if you give me a chance. Come on, let's go to the pet supply store and I'll get this princess everything she needs to be happy and healthy. Do you want to drive or should I?"

"I'll drive, I'm sure she'll be much happier with you holding her."

They went to the pet supply store and picked out everything the dog would need and Chakotay insisted on buying her a bunch of stuff she probably didn't need as well. They stopped by the vet's office and Kathryn made an appointment for two days later. When they got back, they stopped by Mrs. Westerman's and gave her the good news that the dog had a home. She was just delighted and said Sweetie could come visit and play with Sara any time that she wanted.

By the time they returned to Kathryn's house it was a little after three. She took the dog for a walk in the back yard and they returned to the house. Poor little Sweetie was so tired after so much excitement, she curled up on her new bed and fell asleep. Kathryn looked at her and smiled. "She's had quite a day, hasn't she?"

"Yes," Chakotay agreed. "She's lucky, I'm sure you'll take good care of her and, in a day or two, I'll bet you two will be the best of friends."

"I'm sure we will. It's time for my afternoon coffee ration, would you like a cup, Chakotay?"

"Sure, thanks. I stayed up late last night working on my article and I could use a cup." He sat at the kitchen table as she made the coffee and joined him. "Thanks, you make the best coffee. I looked at the stairs and you did a really nice job. They look great."

Kathryn remembered he took sugar in his coffee and went to get it. "Thanks. It was a lot more work than I thought it would be, but I like the way they turned out. So, how have you been?"

"OK, I guess. I've been working on my article a lot lately and I still go to counseling four times a week, so I keep busy. How about you?"

"OK, catching up on my reading and working on the house. I'm assuming I'll be working on the Delta Quadrant program at the academy when I go back, so I've been working on some plans for that, a syllabus and such. I talked to Tom and B'Elanna the other day and you wouldn't believe how Miral has grown!"

They sat at the table and talked long after the coffee was gone. Kathryn kept an eye on the dog, but she was sound asleep for more than two hours. The conversation was mostly about what they knew about various Voyager crew members since their return, but it was friendly and comfortable. The dog finally woke up and Kathryn immediately grabbed her leash. "They usually need to go out when they first wake up. C'mon, Sweetie, let's go out in the back yard. She was right and the dog peed and she lavished her with praise as she returned to the house and asked Chakotay what time he had been feeding her dinner.

"Well, I feed her when I eat, so about six, I guess. I've been giving her all she'll eat because she's so skinny and sometimes she'll eat more just before bed and she has breakfast with me. Oh, and she sleeps better at night if you play with her and get her tired out and she sleeps for an hour or so after she eats. Are you going to keep her name or give her a new one?"

Kathryn spoke as she fixed to dog's dinner. "Well, I'll wait a few days and see. It would be best if I gave her a new name right away so she can get used to it, but dogs have a way of telling you what they like to be called, don't they?"

"I don't know, I never had a dog."

"Really?"

"No, we never had a dog, my mom didn't like them. I always wanted one, but she said no. We had pet birds, those she liked."

Kathryn put the dog's bowl on the floor. "Well, birds are OK, but there's nothing like a dog!" She returned to the counter and started taking out food.

Chakotay took his cue and said, "Well, thank you again and I guess I had better be going. It was nice to see you again and I hope you and Sweetie get along OK. If she needs anything, just let me know and I'll take care of it."

"Thank you, Chakotay, I'm sure we'll be fine." She opened the cupboard to get out a plate, turned and said, "All I have is leftovers, but if you'd like to stay for dinner, you're welcome to."

He was shocked, but pleased. "Thank you, that would be very nice."

She smiled, "Well it's the least I can do. Mom made it, so it's good. Have a seat, we'll eat in here so we can keep an eye on Sweetie. I want her to sleep on the bed at night, but not until she's housetrained. At least most of the carpet is already ruined, so any damage she does will be negligible. Would you like a salad?"

"Sure, may I help you?

"If you could make a salad, I'll get this warmed up and there's some of Mom's potato salad too."

They got dinner ready and ate as they talked some more and kept an eye on the dog as she slept. She slept for more than an hour, so they just sat and talked and made the meal last that long. When the dog finally woke up, Kathryn took her out while Chakotay cleaned up the kitchen. Kathryn was gone for a long time, so he took the opportunity to take a look at the dining room and see what more she had done with it. As he put the dishes away he noticed that the cupboards were still nice and neat and the kitchen was very clean. In fact, all he saw of the house looked as if she had a maid.

Kathryn ran in the back door with the dog in her arms and was so excited she could hardly contain herself as she ran into the kitchen giggling. "She pooped, Chakotay, she pooped!"

He laughed, "Gee, if I knew that's all it took to make you happy… Well, I bet you'll have her housetrained in no time. I think she's pretty bright, she just doesn't know yet."

"Oh yes, she's very bright, I'm sure! Aren't you Sweetie Pie?" The dog wagged her tail in agreement. "Let's take her to the park, Chakotay! Can you stay?"

"Sure, that would be nice. She doesn't know how to walk on a leash yet, do you want me to carry her?"

"No, no, I'll do it! I'll train her, but it's best to give her a few days to bond with me first. Chakotay, I was thinking about a name for her and I think it should be one we agree on, so what do you think of naming her Kes? It's short and I think Kes would like that, don't you?"

He smiled and gave the dog a pat on the head. "I think that's perfect, Kes it is! Yes, I'm, sure she would approve."

Kathryn gave the dog a kiss on the head as she said, "I dub thee Kes. Chakotay, can you get the ball and her woobie from the toy basket?"

"Sure," he replied as he rummaged through the dog's extensive collection of toys he'd insisted on buying her. Uh, which one's the woobie?"

Kathryn laughed, "Don't you know what a woobie is?"

"Well, no, can't say that I do."

"It's the fuzzy pink one that looks like a tribble, that's a woobie. Oh and maybe bring her rubber duckie too, we don't know what kind of toys she likes."

He grabbed the toys as they headed for the park. "I don't know what she likes either, the only thing she picked up at my place was a sock. Oh, and watch your shoes, she likes those too. I didn't really have anything for her to play with and I don't think she really knows how to play yet."

"Well, we'll just have to fix that, won't we?"

When they got to the park no one was using the dog's play area, so Kathryn put the dog down and it just sat there. They got down on the ground with her and tried to get her interested in one of the toys, but Chakotay was the only one who ended up fetching the ball. Kathryn finally started squeaking the woobie and that got Kes' attention. She seemed afraid of it at first, but they finally coaxed her to take it and, once she decided it was safe, she happily ran around the enclosure with it as they watched her and laughed as they agreed she'd do just fine. She played until it started to get dark and they went back home. Kathryn made some tea and they sat and drank it as they watched the dog sleep.

Kathryn put a plate on the table. "Here, have some of Nana's peanut butter cookies. Well, I'd say our first outing was a success, wouldn't you?"

"Oh yes, I think Kes enjoyed it and she's already starting to bond with you, I can tell. Aw, look, I think she's dreaming!" They sat and just watched her sleep as they drank their tea. Chakotay watched Kathryn more than the dog as it was so nice to have spent time with her and to see her so happy. He finally leaned across the table as he asked, "Kathryn, I still have those tickets for that Bajoran Tenors concert next weekend. Are you sure you wouldn't like to go? They're awesome, I hear, and it's been sold out for weeks. Please, wouldn't you like to go?"

She took a sip of tea and smiled slightly. "Thank you, but no."

"Please? I know you love them and you'd enjoy it. Kathryn, I know you needed some time alone, but I think we're getting along OK now, so can't we go to a concert together? Not as a date or anything, we can come and go separately if you want, it'd just be two friends going to a concert."

"No. Chakotay, I'm… I'm seeing someone now, I don't think it would be appropriate. Why don't you ask someone from work to go with you?"

He forced a smile, but didn't reply. They sat in silence a few minutes more and watched the dog. Chakotay finally pushed himself from the table as he said, "Well, I guess I'd better be going. Thanks for the dinner and thank you for giving Kes a good home. Would it be alright if I called in a few days to see how she's doing?"

"Yes, that would be fine, and thank you so much for getting all those things for her." Kathryn rose and led him to the door. "Thank you again, goodnight."

It was obvious she didn't want a hug, so Chakotay just said goodnight and left. He already knew she was seeing someone, but it hurt so much more to hear it from her lips. They had had a good time and got along well the entire afternoon, so he consoled himself with the hope that perhaps there was still a chance for them.

/\

"Kes is pregnant!"

"What?" Chakotay asked as he tried to shake the sleep of his rare afternoon nap from his head.

"Kes is pregnant," Kathryn repeated. "I took her to the vet just now and she's pregnant, there's three pups."

He rubbed his face. "I'm sorry, Kathryn, obviously I didn't know."

Her face softened into a smile as she held the dog up to the screen. "It's OK, Chakotay, we're going to be parents!" she giggled. "Aren't we, Kes? Don't worry, I'm not upset, just a little surprised, that's all. The vet said they're due in about five weeks and they should be OK even though she's so thin. She got her vaccinations and she gave her some vitamins to take. She's healthy other than being thin and she said she thinks she's about eight or nine months old."

Chakotay smiled and waved at the dog. "Congratulations to both of you."

"You too, Daddy!" Kathryn smiled as she waved the dog's paw at him. "I guess we'll have to come up with some more names, won't we?"

"Yes, we will. Kathryn, would it be OK if I came over to visit?"

"Sure! I was going to order a pizza to celebrate, you're welcome to stay if you'd like, I'll get a large."

"Thank you," he replied as he tried to contain his excitement. "I'll be over in about an hour, would that be OK? I need to stop at the store on my way, need anything?"

"No, thank you. Oops, I think she needs to go out! Uh oh, too late! Gotta go clean it up, we'll see you soon. Bye!"

Chakotay arrived in less than an hour with a bouquet of flowers and a bag. Kathryn gave him a look when he handed her the flowers, but he explained they were for Kes, and she giggled and put them in some water, joking that the dog got more flowers than she did as Mrs. Westerman had sent over some from her garden too. The stop he'd made was at the pet supply store, where he'd bought a deluxe heated whelping box, another smaller crate, a package of little bows for the dog's top knot and more toys and treats. They played with her until it was time to feed her, ordered the pizza and chatted and ate while she slept. When she awoke from her nap, they again took her to the park and this time she did play with her toys as she had become quite partial to the pink woobie and there was no doubt that Kathryn was now her mommy.

Kes was so tired when they got back, she went to her now favorite spot on the sofa in the den and curled up for a nap. Chakotay got the whelping box and assembled it while Kathryn put the crate together. She put the smaller crate in her room so the dog could sleep in it until she was housetrained and was glad she'd no longer have to carry the big crate upstairs every night. They debated where to put the whelping box and Kathryn finally decided it would be best to put it in her bedroom for the time being, so Chakotay carried it upstairs. He moved a chair and slid the dresser over so it would fit in the corner where Kathryn could see it from the bed. It came with a fleece cushion, but Kathryn decided that wasn't good enough for Kes and went to find a pillow case to put over it. While Kathryn was gone, Chakotay moved the dresser over a bit more and noticed that the picture she'd had of him there had been replaced and the frame now had one of the man he'd seen her with in one of the tabloids. Chakotay gave it a good look and decided he looked to be at least ten years older than Kathryn and, even though he was smiling, he looked like he'd just eaten some raw leola roots. There was a small picture of the two of them stuck up on the mirror over the dresser, obviously taken at a miniature golf course. The guy was grinning like a Cheshire cat and had his arm around Kathryn and she looked like her shoes were too tight. Chakotay smiled to himself as he checked out his hair in the mirror, for he knew he was better looking and Kathryn had told him at least twenty times over the years how much she hated golf. He took one more look at the picture as he heard Kathryn shut the linen closet door and decided to name him Reginald, for he had that schizophrenic squirrel look that Reginald Barclay always seemed to have.

They talked for a bit more about the upcoming birth and Chakotay left earlier this time, although Kathryn invited him to a baby shower she was having the following Sunday for Kes. He couldn't imagine anything as silly as a baby shower for a dog, but it honestly made him feel good that he had given Kathryn something that made her so happy and gave them a reason to spend time together. He stopped on his way home and bought a gift for Mrs. Westerman, for the old lady certainly knew what she was doing when she suggested he take the dog over to Kathryn's.

/\

The baby shower was quite an affair, Kathryn had invited a number of her family and Mrs. Westerman as well. Her mother and sister brought much of the food and Mrs. Westerman had volunteered her old grill for a cookout in the back yard. Kes seemed to be a bit overwhelmed with it all so, after she'd introduced her, Kathryn put the dog in her crate in the den to rest while they all ate. Chakotay had met some of Kathryn's family at the picnic he attended at her mother's farm. He and her great uncle slipped right into a spirited conversation about boxing, but the rest of her family was a bit standoffish and cold towards him. It was obvious Gretchen wished he weren't there, although she was polite enough to take the time to thank Chakotay and tell him how much the little dog had lifted Kathryn's spirits.

Chakotay sat with Phoebe's kids and policed them while they ate. After about twenty minutes, he understood why their father had that harried look, was going bald and on his third beer already. As for their mother, well, she was a Janeway and stood up to battle better. He had talked with Kathryn briefly, but an aunt dragged her off before they had much of a chance to talk. The kids finished their lunch quickly and ran off to play, so Chakotay loaded up his plate again and went to get another soda.

"Beer?" a man asked as he shoved one at Chakotay's hands.

"No thanks, I don't drink, but I'd like another lemon soda, please," he replied without thinking.

"Sorry, here you go. I don't think we've met, I'm Kathryn's cousin Joe Janeway," he said as he offered his hand.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Chakotay, Kathryn's…"

"…Ex boyfriend," he interrupted as he jerked his hand back. "You're the asshole that broke her heart! You have a lot of nerve showing up here, who the hell invited you!" he said as he stormed away.

"Sorry," Chakotay muttered as he went to sit with Mrs. Westerman. As he chatted with her he scanned the crowd and noticed that he didn't see Kathryn's boyfriend among them. He was glad, of course, but thought it was odd he didn't come for Kathryn surely invited him.

As the party wound down and the guests went inside and then left Chakotay eventually found himself alone in the backyard, so he grabbed a trash bag and started cleaning up the considerable mess. "Oh, I thought you'd left," Kathryn said as she came out the back door with the dog.

"No, I wouldn't have left without thanking you and saying goodbye. The yard's a mess, it looks like you had a hundred people here and not twenty, so I was just cleaning up. How's the guest of honor?" he asked as he gave the dog a kiss.

"She's fine. I hated to keep her inside most of the time, but I think it would have been too much for her seeing as she's in such a 'delicate condition'. My, she did get a lot of presents, didn't she?"

"Yes, quite a haul! Don't worry, I'll put everything in a box and take it inside for you. Where's the net? There's something floating in the pool and something at the bottom of it, but I can't tell what it is."

Kathryn giggled as she handed him the dog. "Well, ET was here, so no telling what it is! I put the pool skimmer in the shed. Can you walk her and I'll go get it?" She walked over and looked in the pool. "Eww, I think it's a hamburger bun and I bet that black thing at the bottom of the pool is a hamburger."

They worked together and had the yard, porch and house cleaned up quickly and all the leftover food put away. Kathryn was putting back the breakable objects she'd hidden from her nephew when Chakotay came in with the box of presents and asked, "Where would you like me to put this?" He looked down at the dog. "What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing," Kathryn laughed, "That's her dinner dance, it's almost six. The dog has a chronometer in her stomach. I had to see my counselor yesterday afternoon and stopped to pick up things for the party on my way home and got here about a quarter after six and you should have seen how pissed little miss priss was at me when I let her out of the crate to go potty, weren't you, Kes! Oh, can you put the box in the den, please, so Kes can send thank you notes tomorrow and thanks again for the poop phaser, that was very sweet of you."

"You're welcome. Have you tried it out yet?"

"Oh yes, just aim, press the button and zap, the poop is gone! It was the perfect gift, seeing as there'll be a whole lot more poop around here soon."

After the dog ate they sat in the den and went through the gifts together while Kes took her after dinner nap. When she woke up they took her to the park and then came home and shared some leftovers while a very happy little dog curled up in a sea of toys. Kathryn made tea and they sat together on the sofa in the den to drink it. She put on some music as she said, "She just loves Mahler! It helps her to sleep better, I leave music on when I have to go out to keep her company."

Chakotay sat back, sipped his tea and stared at Kathryn, just sitting there with a big grin on her face watching the dog sleep. "Kathryn, speaking of music, I still have those concert tickets. I know you don't want to go with me, but would you like to have them so you and your b...boyfriend can go?" The word burned his tongue as it came out. "I'd hate to see them go to waste, so why don't you two go?"

She sat back and grabbed her tea, looking for something at the bottom of it as she quietly said, "Thanks, but we're not seeing each other anymore."

"Oh?" Chakotay pinched himself to keep from smiling.

"I invited him to the party and he said a party for a pregnant mutt was about the stupidest thing he'd ever heard of. Any man who doesn't love dogs, well… He's history."

"I'm sorry, Kathryn," he said as he wondered if that was the biggest lie he'd ever told.

She gave him a smile. "Don't be, we had about as much in common as Neelix and Tuvok. My cousin fixed us up and I think I only went out with him to make Joe happy and to get my mother off my back. He was a real nice guy, but the nervous type and, to be honest, not much fun to be with." Kathryn took another sip of tea, put her mug on the table and put her hand on Chakotay's. "So, if that offer is still open, I'd like to go to the concert with you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she giggled.

"Great! Would you please let me take you out to dinner first? I've eaten over here several times, so I really do owe you and no German food or beer for me, I promise."

"We'll see," she said as her expression got serious. "Chakotay, I need to talk to you about something first." Kathryn went on to relate her conversation with the woman at the bar. Chakotay was shocked and sat, dumbfounded, as she explained what the woman had told her. Reliving it all was painful and he felt even more ashamed now than he had before.

When she was finished he sat back and was silent for a while before he said, "Kathryn, I'm sorry that happened, I know it was awful for you, but I hope you at least understand how it happened. I never lied to you, I just didn't know the truth."

"I know that, I never said you lied."

"That's right, you didn't. I'm not proud and I still take responsibility for my actions and how much they hurt you. As my counselor says, drunk or sober, you are responsible for your wake. I know I have a problem and I'm working hard to deal with it one day at a time. I know better than to make a promise I might not be able to keep, but I am confident I have it under control. Today was the first time someone offered me a beer and I said no. It was automatic, I didn't have to think, I immediately said no and it didn't bother me a bit to see other people enjoying their beer. I honestly think Grandfather was the key because, as long as I had him, I could drink a beer or two and be fine. Now that he's back and guiding me, I really think I could have a drink or two and be fine, but that's not a chance I'm willing to take, so I don't. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, Chakotay, it does, and I agree. I'm going to be completely honest with you and tell you I am still hurt and it may take me a while to get over it and trust you again."

"It should, trust has to be earned and I'm working hard to do that and I'll continue to. You're a smart woman, you should be skeptical, but all I ask is that you have an open mind and give me a chance." He took her hand and smiled. "You already know I really like dogs!"

"Yes, I do. Chakotay, just so you know, my relationship with Eric wasn't serious. We were just friends and there was no real attraction, nothing happened."

"Thanks for telling me. So, would you let me take you out for dinner first? We could just come and go separately if you want, doesn't have to be a date. I'll understand if it's too soon."

"Well, we have been getting along OK, haven't we? Yes, what the hell, let's give it a try again, shall we?"

/\

Their concert date went well and, for once, being celebrities paid off as Kathryn and Chakotay were invited backstage after the concert to meet the group. The paparazzi were there in full force, so they had to duck out the back door and skip going for dessert afterwards as they'd planned. When they said their hasty goodnights, Kathryn gave Chakotay a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He was so happy he could have beamed home without a transporter. When she got home she found his picture and put it back in the frame on the dresser and Eric's was relegated to the recycler.

Kathryn invited Chakotay to go with her for Kes' prenatal visit on Thursday and they both sat there teary eyed and held hands as they watched the puppies squirming around in her womb on the view screen. The vet said mother and puppies were doing fine and she didn't anticipate any problems with delivery, but she wouldn't be surprised if it didn't happen a day or two sooner than she originally predicted. She gave them some material to read on whelping and assured them most dogs deliver just fine and don't need any help, however Kathryn insisted Kes have an implant to alert her the moment contractions began. They got tacos to celebrate and ate them at an outdoor café in town, with Kes safely snuggled in Kathryn's lap, her left hand resting on the dog's swollen belly.

When they finished eating, Kathryn took out the small receiver to Kes' implant and studied it as she said, "I wish we each had one of these. I'm going to put it on a string so I can wear it around my neck."

He patted her hand. "Relax, Kathryn, she said everything was fine. You will call me the moment it alerts you, won't you? I'd like to be there for the birth of the puppies."

"Of course, Daddy."

"Has she been in the whelping box yet?"

"A few times to check it out, but this says it's too soon for her to start nesting. When I get home, I'll send you a copy. Oh, it says we should have some puppy milk replacer on hand, in case she doesn't have any milk or won't feed them."

"Good idea, I'll get some and bring it next time I come. Send me a list of whatever else it says to get and I'll get it. Do you still need me to come stay with her when you go to the doctor and do your shopping on Tuesday?"

"If you could, Mrs. Westerman won't be home and Mom has to teach and can't come. Oh, about Mom, I should warn you, she's not too happy we're seeing each other again."

"I figured. Do you think it would help if I talked to her?"

"No, I think she needs some time. If it means anything, my great uncle is happy about it; he likes you."

"I like him too, he really knows his boxing. What about your sister?"

"Mixed reviews. She says you're better looking than Eric and the kids like you a whole lot better, but you won't hang around if you don't get any soon."

"Kathryn, that's not true, don't ever think that!" He calmed down and took a sip of his soda. "You took Eric home to meet your family?"

"No, he and my cousin Joe work together and are good friends. He brought him to my aunt's birthday party and that's how we met. Come on, I need to get this little lady home, she's had enough excitement for one day. I'll call you tonight after we get back from the park."

Chakotay walked Kathryn back to her car and helped her get Kes into her carrier and safely secured. "Well, you drive carefully and I'll talk to you tonight and thanks again for letting me come see the puppies today." Chakotay put his arms around Kathryn and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She returned it and then softly pressed her lips to his. When they separated he held her hands and smiled as he said, "I love you, Kathryn Janeway."

"I love you too. As hard as I tried to hate you, I couldn't really do it. It was easy at first because I was so angry and felt betrayed, but I kept remembering all the good things about you and missing them. I think all dating someone else did was remind me of how much I missed you, how we got along so well most of the time and had so much in common. I know we're both working on ourselves right now and we probably have more hurdles to cross separately and together, but I want to try to do that with you. Neither of us is perfect and we both have our demons, we know that. We've both made mistakes and always will, but it's all about giving, forgiving and not giving up. Chakotay, I'm sorry it took so long for me to say this, but I forgive you."

"Oh, Kathryn!" he said as he held her in his arms and cried. "I love you, I truly do, and I never meant to hurt you. I promise you I'll do everything I can to be worthy of your forgiveness, your trust and your love." He gave her another kiss and smiled as she wiped away his tears. "I take life one day at a time now, but, every morning when I get up, I know I have to do things right to be of value to myself and to you. Well, that's what my counselor says."

"Thank you, Chakotay, she's right, mine said the same thing. Some days are tough, but promise me you'll call me if you need me and I'll do the same."

"Always, Kathryn, always."

/\

Over the next couple of weeks Kathryn and Chakotay spent time together, however, as Kes' due date approached, Kathryn was reluctant to leave the house, so their dates consisted of getting together there and spending time with the dog. Kes had made the adjustment nicely and she had come to love them both equally and relish their attention. One evening, as they were watching one of Kathryn's old movies, Chakotay looked down at the dog sleeping on the sofa as she usually did. The dog was between them, he thought, yet it was what had ultimately brought them back together. They'd been to the park earlier that evening and Kathryn was sitting with the dog on her lap while she chatted with another woman as he fed the ducks. The two women were discussing the merits and durability of various dog toys and Kathryn had said 'Our dog likes woobies the best'. Chakotay smiled, our dog, not my dog, but our dog. His smile grew into a grin as he thought he not only knew what a woobie was now, but had spent nearly an hour one afternoon frantically searching the house for the favorite pink one and he knew its name as well. Yes, woobies all had names and he and Kathryn had a dog that they shared… and a life.

"What are you grinning at?" Kathryn asked as she paused the movie later that evening.

"Nothing, I just thought that I felt a puppy move, that's all." Kes' belly was now so big she'd often taken to sleeping on her back, with her bald tummy up. They and the vet only saw three pups on the prenatal scan, but somehow she looked awfully big to have just three puppies in there. Kathryn stared at the dog. "I don't see anything, I think they're all asleep too. She sleeps a lot more now and has to go out about ten times a day as she probably doesn't have any room for her bladder. Speaking of which, I need to go take care of mine, so I'll be right back. I'm hungry for some pop corn, do you want any?"

"Sure, I'll go make some."

"No, no, stay there. She'll get up if we both leave and she needs her rest. Chakotay, I thought I'd have a glass of wine too, would that bother you?"

"Not at all. You drink and I don't and that's something we can both live better with. Maybe you could bring me a soda though?"

"Sure."

When the movie was over they took the dog out and sat by the pool for a few minutes and talked before Chakotay left as he had an early class the next morning.

The next day Chakotay called Kathryn as he ate his lunch to check on her and the dog. "Hi, Kathryn, how are my two favorite girls?"

"We're fine, Kes is asleep right beside me. She had a restless night, so I think we're getting close. I was up half the night watching her, so I'm really tired. I called my counselor and she said it would be OK if I took a nap this afternoon and when I felt like I needed one, given the circumstances. She's a dog lover too, so she understands."

"Well, make sure you get your rest, both of you. Want me to bring some dinner? I can be there by five, I think, I'm going to go look at a house this afternoon."

"No, there's plenty of food here, Mom stopped by and brought groceries and some brownies. I'll fix something. Where's the house?"

He laughed. "It's in Wentworth Manor."

"No way! At least it's close and it's gated too, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's about like Primrose Acres, but not quite as nice. It was only finished a year or two ago, so everything is almost new. I didn't know where the house was exactly until my realtor sent me the information. It looks good on the screen anyhow. I'm sorry, but I have to run, I'll see you later. Give Kes a kiss for me, I love you."

"I love you too. I may be asleep when you get here, so just let yourself in."

Chakotay let himself in when he arrived and quietly called out, but received no answer. He checked through the downstairs and didn't see Kathryn or the dog, so he quietly crept upstairs. Her bedroom door was open and she and the dog were curled up in bed together, asleep. Kes must have heard him as she opened one eye and gave her tail a wag or two, but then she went back to sleep. He quietly closed the door and went to the den. Kathryn had left some knitting on the coffee table and he picked it up and smiled as he realized it was a dog sweater. He was tired, so he stretched out on the couch and took a nap too.

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty," Kathryn said as she gave him a gentle kiss.

He sat up as he said, "Hi, Kathryn, that's my favorite way to wake up! What time is it?"

She pointed to the dog. "Take a look and I'll give you three guesses."

"Six?"

"You win!"

"I do?" he asked as he pulled her down onto his lap and played with her hair. "And what's my prize?"

She tousled his hair and got up. "You get to feed the dog!"

"Don't you mean dogs? She's eating for four and then some I think. How do you feel?"

"Much better, thanks. I was OK, I was just tired because I was up half the night. Come on, she's so fat she can barely do the dinner dance now, so let's feed her before she explodes and then feed ourselves. I'm starved."

"Me too, the five minutes I talked to you was about all I got for a lunch break today. Come on, let's feed my pretty girls!"

After dinner and a short trip to the park, they settled on the couch in the den for the evening. Kes was now so big she couldn't hop up anymore, so she whined until Kathryn picked her up. Chakotay laughed. "All that training you've been telling me about, now I see just who trained who!" He grabbed his PADD off the coffee table. "Here's the information on the house I looked at this afternoon and I took some pictures. It's empty so I could move right in, but I spent so much with all my moving around before, I don't have as much of a down payment as I hoped, so I don't know if the offer I made will be enough. I tried, but I couldn't get any more financing."

"You made an offer?"

"Yeah, I had to. The Wildmans get back this weekend and they said I could stay another couple days if I had to, but they don't really have the room, that apartment is pretty small. All my stuff is stored in their guest room, it's stacked from stem to stern because Sam already had her stuff from Voyager in there too, I think she brought everything back. I've been sleeping in their room while they were gone. I have to do something, I applied for faculty housing, but I'm so far down on the list it's hopeless. I shouldn't have waited so long to start looking at houses, I guess."

"Well, you can store stuff here in one of the empty bedrooms or the garage if you want."

"Thanks, I might have to take you up on that to make enough room to put the bed back, they had it taken apart and leaned against the wall to make more space. Don't worry, I'll figure something. What do you think of the house?"

"It's nice, it does look new."

"Yeah, a woman lived there and she traveled a lot for her job, so she was hardly ever home. She got married and moved a couple weeks ago. It's pretty bland, but nothing a little paint and decorating won't fix. See, the yard is fenced, so Kes could come visit and there's a community pool too. It's not as nice as here, but the security is the same company, so it's probably good."

"Well, I like it, so good luck and it will be nice to have you living so close. When do you find out?"

"She has until five tomorrow to reply. If she doesn't accept my offer, I can't afford to offer her more, so I'll have to go looking again. With all the trouble we've been having with the press, I think I need a gated community and there aren't many I can afford. I know it'll eventually blow over, but no telling when."

"You want to watch another movie?"

"If you want, but I have some papers to grade, I'm sorry."

She grabbed her knitting and patted his hands. "Don't you apologize about work, I understand. Oh, I think my mother is softening up a bit, she referred you by name today, you're no longer 'that bastard'."

"Good to know, but she's right and I was a bastard."

Kathryn put her knitting down. "Chakotay, you apologized and I forgave you. I understand that you have a drug problem and so do I and we're both recovering. We both treated each other badly, but we're both getting treatment now and it's time to move on."

"You're right, but I still feel guilty about what I did and I remember that night I got drunk here when we watched that old Titanic movie and I wasn't a very nice guy that night."

"No, you weren't, but you're not that guy anymore and I'm not the royal bitch I used to be. It's time to put that to rest and move on. I'm happy now and I hope you are too."

"I am, Kathryn, I am. I think it's just going to take me a little more time, that's all, to be the man you deserve. I don't know how to put this, but I'm scared of you. Well, I don't mean you, but I'm afraid to touch you now because I do remember that night and I don't ever want to make you feel like that again. Kathryn, that night I just wanted sex, I didn't want love and that was awful. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I do, that's why I said no. It was the beer talking that night, not you, I know that and I trust it won't happen again. Maybe you don't remember that night so well, because you didn't try to force me. Cajole, yes, but force, no. OK, you were all hands, but it wasn't that bad and I was more upset about you being so drunk, not listening to me and having to ask you to knock it off more than once. Chakotay, you can have sex with anyone, but you can only make love with someone special. Love is a rare thing, sometimes it only happens once in a lifetime, if at all. I want that with you, I really do, and I'm glad I finally came to my senses and realized that. We're both walking on eggshells sometimes, but we're both healing and getting stronger every day. Let's just give ourselves and our relationship a little more time to heal."

"Agreed. When you first met me you had to trust me overnight, but you don't now and I understand that. It will take time, but I know it'll be worth it because I want a life with you, you and this wonderful little dog here! Let me get to work and you go make us some popcorn."

Chakotay called late the next day, very excited that his offer on the house had been accepted. He had to go to the realtor's office to take care of signing some documents, had his session with his counselor later and plans to make for his classes the next day, so he didn't come to visit. By the time he was finished with everything, he was exhausted and went to bed early, after getting a full report from Kathryn.

A little after four in the morning his com link awoke him. Kathryn was frantic. "Contractions, she's having contractions! The monitor went off, she's having contractions!"

The news was enough to thoroughly wake him as he bolted from the bed and yelled, "Tell her to wait, I'll beam right over!" Chakotay was in motion before he had even materialized and stood at the door and fumbled as he suddenly couldn't remember the code to the security system. He took a deep breath and it finally came to him, so he punched it in and flew up the stairs to find Kathryn sitting on the floor in the corner of her bedroom beside the whelping box. "Did she have them yet? What's happening?" he asked quietly as he sat on the floor beside Kathryn.

She looked up and smiled. "No, nothing yet. My gosh, you didn't even get dressed?"

"No, I was in a hurry, I wouldn't miss this for the world, I'm going to be a father!" He reached down and rubbed Kes' head as she wagged her tail. "Hi, Kes, Sweetie. Kathryn, how close are the contractions?"

"I don't know, I was so discombobulated I forgot to time them. She had a couple and then none for a few minutes and then one about two or three minutes ago. I don't think they were strong ones, she didn't seem to react at all or maybe the implant isn't working right or a hiccup set it off or something?"

"She looks like she's going back to sleep, can you sleep and have contractions? Do you think we should call her vet or take her to the emergency vet? Was Molly like this?"

Kathryn laughed. "Chakotay, I was seventy thousand light years away when Molly had her puppies, how should I know? People can have early contractions and false labor, so I suppose dogs can too. Phoebe had contractions on and off for days before she had Eddie. Get the PADD with the information on the bureau and check, if you can stop shaking long enough to read it, Mister Expectant Father."

He ran for the PADD. "I'm not nervous, I'm just cold! How's she doing?"

"Liar! She looks like she's asleep, but she's been restless tonight. She hasn't been sleeping well the last two nights. I finally put her in bed with me last night and she settled down."

The monitor beeped again as Chakotay threw down the PADD and rushed to the box. "What happened?"

"Nothing, she just twitched and went back to sleep. What did the PADD say?"

"I dunno, my hands were shaking so hard I couldn't read it. Shouldn't we boil some water or something?"

Kathryn gave him a pat on the back. "Only if you want tea. You watch her and I'll read. Better yet, why don't you go make us some tea?"

"Are you kidding, I might miss something!"

"Chakotay, she isn't going to pop out three puppies in the time it takes you to make tea! Anyhow, according to this it probably is false labor, her temperature hasn't dropped. She could have sporadic mild contractions for a couple days before she gives birth. It says this is perfectly normal and there's no reason to call the vet… or to panic."

"I'm not panicking, I'm just excited. Look, she twitched!"

Kathryn ran back to the whelping box. "She's asleep. She twitches in her sleep sometimes when she's dreaming. Let's give her a few more minutes and, if she doesn't have anymore contractions, then I think we can call this a false alarm and cancel the red alert. Pull up her blanky and tuck her woobie in beside her, she'll sleep better."

They sat and watched her for a while longer and little Kes slept soundly. Kathryn moaned softly and Chakotay looked to see that she was asleep, leaning up against his shoulder. He tried to move to pick her up and put her in bed and, as he did, her head eased down onto his lap, so he leaned up against the dresser, laid his arm across her and they slept that way until the sun rose.

Chakotay awoke first, checked the dog and she was still sleeping soundly with her woobie under her chin. He tucked her in again and slid his arms under Kathryn to pick her up. She moaned as he laid her in the bed. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and pulled the blanket up over her as he said, "Everything's fine, she's asleep. It's early, go back to sleep, Sweetheart."

Kathryn moved over in the bed and pulled the blanket back as she softly said. "Snuggle with me, Chakotay, I'm cold." He slid in next to her, pulled up the blanket and laid his arm across her as they drifted back to sleep.

Kathryn jerked when she awoke. Chakotay hugged her. "Shhh, I'll take Kes out and fix breakfast and feed her, you get a few more minutes of sleep. I can see her from here, she's fine, wagging her tail to go out. The monitor is on the table beside your bed. I'll make you some coffee and, don't worry, I won't clean the coffee maker, I know better now. I'll call you when breakfast is ready."

Kathryn rubbed her head. "OK, what day is it? Don't you have to go to work today?"

"Yes, it's Friday, but I don't have to be in 'til eleven, so I have plenty of time. Get some more sleep, I'll take care of everything." Chakotay took care of the dog, made coffee and was just slipping some omelets onto plates as Kathryn ambled into the kitchen. Being well trained, he immediately poured her a mug of coffee. "Good morning, have a seat, breakfast is ready. Feel better? As you can see, Kes is fine."

She took a long sip of coffee. "Yeah, I feel pretty good. Come here, Kes, and sit on Momma's lap. You certainly gave us a scare last night." Kathryn put her hand on the dog's belly. "Yup, the puppies are up too, I don't know how she can stand it." She gave Kes a kiss. "Hurry up, Mommy and Daddy can't wait much longer! Oh, Chakotay, that looks delicious!"

He gave Kathryn a kiss and slipped Kes a piece of an omelet before he joined her at the table. "Nothing's too good for my girls! I can stay 'til about ten and still have time to get home and dressed and to class by eleven. I'm going to run home after that class and clear my stuff out of the Wildman's bedroom and see what I can do to move things in their guest room to make room to set up the bed; they get back tomorrow morning. I don't know when I'll have time to beam some stuff over here, I'll have to sort through it as my stuff is mixed in with theirs. I forgot to ask the realtor if I have to go into his office to sign more stuff if they accept my offer. Oh gosh, I have a lot to do! I'll be over as soon as I finish my pre-Colombian class, so don't you go having any puppies before then, but call me right away if she beeps again, I want to be here!"

"We'll try not to! I'll call the vet and talk to her when the office opens and tell her about last night. Chakotay, I think she'll probably have them this weekend, so why don't you just spend the weekend here?"

"Really?"

"Sure, that way you won't miss anything and we can take turns sitting up with her if we have to or one of use can run out if we need anything and the other can stay."

"OK, I noticed when I took her out this morning your grass needs cutting, so I'll do that tomorrow or Sunday."

"Oh, gosh, I forgot about that. Thanks, that would be great. OK, pack what you need and spend the weekend and you can figure things out. You said the house was empty, so if you get it can you move right in?"

"No, I think you have to wait a week or so at least, some documents have to be filed or something, and I have to have an inspection done and then we have to schedule closing for when the seller can come. She lives off world now, I forget where. You remember, buying a house is complicated."

"You're right, it was. I've worked out treaties and trade agreements with entire planetary systems that were less complicated than buying a house. Well, if it works out better, you're welcome to stay here until you can move into your house."

"Thanks, I may just do that as I think Sam was nicely saying that they expected me to be gone when they got back as that's what I'd originally said. Don't worry, I'll do my share of the work around here and I hope I can be a better houseguest than I was the last time. If I do the least little thing that irks you, I want you to tell me. Promise me you will?"

"I will, and you do the same. I think we can get along better this time because we know what went wrong last time and I'm not all bitchy anymore since I gave up the pills and you're not all horny anymore since you gave up the booze."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, Kathryn," he said as his eyebrows danced. "I still know a beautiful woman when I see one, I just have better manners now and I'll wait for her invitation!"

/\

Chakotay dumped his bags in the foyer and rushed into the house. "I got here as soon as I could, how's Kes?" He gave Kathryn a kiss, "Sorry, I'm excited, hi!"

"Hello to you too! She's fine, but she's been listless all day and I've had to take her out to pee about half a dozen times. I think it's soon! Did you get the house?"

"Oh, yes, I did, I forgot to tell you, she accepted my offer. The realtor is going to take care of arranging all that red tape, I just have to wait for the inspection. Kathryn, Kes, she twitched!"

"She burped, I don't think her breakfast set too well… or maybe it was all those eggs you fed her and don't think I didn't notice you slip her a slice of my bacon too!"

"Oh, gosh, I shouldn't have. Maybe we should take her to the vet? The vet, did you call the vet?"

"Yes, she said everything sounds fine and not to worry. Just keep her quiet and comfortable, keep an eye on her and offer her small meals several times a day as her stomach probably can't hold much right now… or her bladder. She said we didn't need to bring her in, the stress wouldn't be good for her. She also said it should be this weekend and to call her if we need her and bring Kes and the puppies in the day after they're born so she can check them."

"OK, I arranged to take Monday off. My assistant said she understood, she loves dogs too."

After dinner they skipped the park. Kathryn and Chakotay tried to play a few games of chess, but they were so intent on watching the dog they kept forgetting whose move it was and ended up staring at Kes all evening. She was happy for all the attention and had them well trained to attend to her every whim and desire. They all headed to bed early. Chakotay took the first watch and brought in his pillow and blanket from the guest room so he could sleep on the floor beside the whelping box. Kathryn was tired and fell asleep almost right away. Chakotay tried to stay awake, but he too fell asleep in less than an hour.

"Red alert!" Kathryn yelled as the monitor went off and she bounded to the whelping box. They laid there together and watched Kes' every breath. After a few minutes it beeped again and Kes twisted her head to the side and licked and then the monitor started beeping frequently.

"Ohh, I think this is it!" Kathryn exclaimed as she turned on all the lights. "Chakotay, we're going to be parents!"

Chakotay grabbed Kathryn and kissed her. "I knew we'd have kids together some day, I just didn't think they'd be puppies!"

The monitor kept beeping and Kes started straining and pushed the first puppy out quickly. They remembered what the vet said and resisted the temptation to help as she was doing just fine. They stroked Kes and wept as Kathryn said, "Look, it has your hair! Oh, it's so tiny!"

Chakotay laughed, "Well, in another week, I bet it has your eyes. Congratulations, Mom! Oh it's so cute, look, the front paws have little white socks and there's a white spot on the tummy and the chest. Is it a boy or a girl, can you tell?"

"In a minute, let her clean it up and chew off the cord, she's doing just fine. I read her the PADD, so she knows what to do."

They watched as Kes cleaned up the puppy and it squirmed to her belly for its first meal. As hard as they were both crying, the little black puppy had no chance of getting dry. Kes rested for a few minutes as they both talked to her and stroked her side. She yelped as she started pushing the second puppy out. It took a little longer, but it came into the world squealing and wiggling too as Kes tended to it.

"Kathryn, that one has your hair! Look, it's almost the same color as your hair, looks like a little Irish Setter, doesn't it?"

"It does! Look, you can see it has kind of wavy hair. Oh, it's so cute." She stroked Kes as she rested. "Good job Kes, you're doing fine, you're braver than I am, that's for sure. Chakotay, she's panting, see if she wants some water and get a clean towel."

"OK, here you go, Kes, take a drink, good girl! OK, one more and then you're done, Mommy and Daddy are right here. Kathryn, she's not doing anything, how come she's not beeping?"

"I shut the thing off, I think it was bothering her. It said it's normal if she rests for a while, remember? We only have to worry if she strains more than an hour. Relax!" Kathryn grabbed Chakotay and cried, "Oh this is just so beautiful, I know why they call it the miracle of birth now! Oh, I think she's getting ready to have the last one! Come on, Kes, Sweetheart, you can do it, push!"

The last puppy took longer and Kathryn got concerned. "Chakotay, its pads are up, that's not good, I think those are the back legs, the front is supposed to come out first like the other two. Oh no!"

Little Kes strained, yelped and nipped at her flank for almost ten minutes, but Kathryn put her hands in and finally helped her to ease the puppy out. The puppy was still, so she rubbed it until it started moving and Kes was able to lick it. In a few minutes it was squirming towards it first meal with the rest of them.

Chakotay and Kathryn gave the puppies time to eat, cleaned up the whelping box, put in fresh bedding and sat back to admire their new family. Kes seemed to be doing fine, she drank more water, ate a few bites and settled down with her brood.

Kathryn picked up the first black puppy. "It's a boy!" she said as she and Chakotay kissed it before they put it back. "The second one is a girl and the last one is a boy. My, but he's strange looking, he's spotted!"

"He is, I wonder what their father looked like?"

"No telling, Chakotay, apparently he didn't stick around for long and I doubt he'll pay child support either. Oh, gods, but they're so precious! Good job, Kes, you have a beautiful family, we love them all."

Chakotay grabbed Kathryn, "And I love you too! Thank you so much for letting me share this with you, it was amazing, just amazing!"

"I love you too, thank you so much for bringing Kes into my life, our life, and thank you Kes for giving life to three beautiful puppies!" Kathryn yawned as she laid her head on Chakotay's shoulder.

"You want me to make us a bed here by the whelping box?"

"Yes, that would be good, she may need to go out or need us. I'm pretty sleepy, but so happy!"

Chakotay made them a bed beside Kes and they curled up together and went to sleep. Kes had to go out once during the night. Chakotay took her as Kathryn was so tired she didn't even hear her whining. Kes and her new family slept late in the morning and so did Kathryn and Chakotay. He woke before Kathryn and held her tightly as he thanked the spirits for healing him and bringing them back together. Chakotay kissed her cheek gently, for he knew this was the way he wanted to wake up every day for the rest of his life, with the most amazing woman in the world in his arms. His resolve to maintain his sobriety strengthened tenfold as he felt her heart beating against his chest. He would do anything to have this woman, it was his destiny.

Kathryn awoke and sat up to check the puppies.

"Relax, they're fine," Chakotay said as he rubbed her back. "Why don't you take her out and I'll carry the family downstairs while you do and put the box in the kitchen so we can watch them while we eat? What do you want for breakfast?"

"I don't know, I have to have coffee before I can think of food. Anything is fine, I'm hungry. Oh, they're so precious!"

"So are you," he said as he hugged her.

They took Kes and the puppies in to see the vet later that morning and she said everyone was fine. Kathryn made appointments for the puppies' next check up and to have Kes spayed. They spent most of the weekend just sitting there and staring at Kes and her puppies, however she relished the attention. If it were possible for a dog to be proud, Kes certainly was. She did a good job of taking care of the pups and all was well.

Chakotay eventually got the grass cut, however he would come in every half hour or so to get a drink of water, or so he claimed. Kathryn knew the truth and it made her happy that he cared so much. Chakotay wanted to sleep on the floor beside Kes' box again, but Kathryn convinced him that the guest room would be better and she would hear her if she needed to go out during the night or the puppies cried. They took turns getting up every couple of hours to check on them, somehow convinced that they needed it.

On Monday Chakotay reluctantly went back to work and spent the night at the Wildman's apartment. The next day he packed up all his things, had them beamed to Kathryn's house and stowed them in one of her spare bedrooms. When he was finished, he joined Kathryn in the den and stared at the puppies with her.

"All done?" she asked.

"Yes, where did I ever get so much stuff? How are they?"

"Just fine, she just fed them, look how fat their little tummies are! Chakotay, I think we need to name them, we can't keep calling them puppy one, two and three. What would you think of calling the girl Molly? I know she won't grow up to look like her, but she does look like she'll be the same color."

"I think that would be fine. I'd like to name the black one Kolopak. It was my father's name, but kohl is a black pigment, so it fits."

"I think that's perfect. What about the spotted puppy? He sure doesn't look like the others. He kind of looks like a tan and orange Dalmatian, doesn't he? Maybe he has a different father, the vet said that's possible."

"Could be, he sure is different." Chakotay started laughing. "Kathryn, let's name him Neelix!"

"Neelix?" She started laughing too. "Yes, I think that's perfect and I bet he'll be the troublemaker too! Yes, I think Kes likes the names we picked, don't you, Precious? Chakotay, you're yawning again. Why don't you go take a nap and I'll fix dinner. I thought I'd try to make eggplant parmesan tonight."

"OK, sounds good. I am tired, I ended up sleeping on the Wildman's sofa last night and it wasn't very comfortable, so I don't think I got much sleep. Oh Naomi gave me a PADD for you, it's in my briefcase."

/\

The week flew by, the puppies grew and Kathryn and Chakotay spent most of their time adoring them as they started to develop individual personalities. When Chakotay got home Friday night he saw that the dining room table had been set and the house smelled wonderful. He came in the kitchen, gave Kathryn a kiss and said, "Hi, Kathryn! Something sure smells good! Sorry I'm late, I had to stop at the realtor's office on my way home. The table is set for three, are we having company and how are the kids?"

"No problem, you told me you'd be late. Everyone is fine and I invited Mrs. Westerman for dinner at six. Did the inspection on your house go OK?"

Chakotay peeked under the lid of a pot on the stove, checked on the family in the corner, poured himself an iced tea and sat at the table as he sighed. "There were problems with the home inspection today, big problems, and the deal is off."

Kathryn joined Chakotay at the table. He handed her a PADD as he went on. "The foundation is disintegrating from the inside out, the crap they used isn't stable. My home inspector called in a county inspector when he discovered it and she said the same thing and started checking the other houses and they're all like that; there's virtually nothing holding up the house and it's not safe to live in. It'll cost tens of thousands to fix my house, so we canceled the contract."

"Oh my! You said the house was only a year or two old, right? It's a new development?"

"Yes. The scans showed the builder used substandard defective materials and they're already breaking down. They suspect every house is like that and they'll all have to be fixed. Apparently the stuff was good enough to pass the inspections when the houses were built or maybe the inspector looked the other way, but it's disintegrating fast now. My house was the first one resold there, so the first one to get re-inspected. When I left, the county building inspector had an army of people with tricorders running around the neighborhood and then some reporters showed up. Luckily I got out before they saw me, I think one of the homeowners was pissed and called them. I'm sure there's a platoon of lawyers there by now too."

"Well, you were lucky that your home inspector found it. Can you imagine buying a house and having it fall down a few weeks later?"

"Luckily I don't have to! Well, it looks like I'll have to stick around here for a while longer, if that's OK. There was another house I really liked, but it's been sold, so I'll have to start looking again this weekend I guess."

Kathryn slid over and took Chakotay's hands. "Chakotay, about that, maybe you shouldn't?"

"Kathryn, it takes weeks to buy a house, you know that. You don't still want me here when you're putting up the Christmas tree, do you?"

She slid onto his lap, draped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a kiss. "Actually, I could use some help putting up the Christmas tree! Chakotay, I like having you around and I'd like you to stay here, if you want to."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, but there will have to be a few conditions to making this a permanent arrangement. It'll be your responsibility to cut the grass, we'll take turns cooking, share the household expenses, no criticizing about messiness or neatness, go to couples counseling to make sure we stay on the right track and…" She kissed him again. "And you'll have to move out of the guest room."

"Oh, Kathryn! Do you really mean that?"

"Yes. Well, not tonight, but soon."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "OK, Kathryn, but I'd like to impose a few conditions too. We have to get a replicator, you'll keep the upstairs clean and I'll keep the downstairs clean, I get half the closet and you'll have to wear my ring on your finger."

She blushed. "Chakotay, was that a… a proposal?"

"No," he grinned, "Not exactly, not yet. I want to get you an engagement ring, ask your mother's permission and seek the blessing of the spirits first and then propose to you properly, according to the traditions of my people and yours. You can consider it a promise though, but I want to finish my treatment first and make sure I can be the man you deserve. Here, get up off my lap a second, I have something for you. I found this in the yard this morning as I was leaving for work; it glinted in the sun and caught my eye. The chain was broken, so I had it fixed. Would you like to put it on again?"

She took the necklace from him. "Yes, of course. I'm so sorry, I'm afraid I pulled it off and threw it away when, well, when we split up. I guess it's been in the yard all this time? I even went out to look for it one day, but couldn't find it. Maybe I might not have looked in the right place, because I had no idea where it landed when I threw it. I wonder how it survived being mowed so many times? Look, the stones were white and clear as glass last time I saw it and now they're purple!"

He fastened it around her neck, then kissed her nape. "Well, maybe the story about the catharsis crystals in necklace is an ancient legend that's actually true?"

"Maybe," she replied as she leaned her head on his shoulder, "Although I figured out a long time ago most of your ancient legends are products of your imagination."

The next morning Chakotay sat and read the news as Kes fed her brood in her whelping box in the corner and Kathryn fixed breakfast. "Did you sleep well?" she asked. "How do you want your eggs fixed?"

"Yes, fine, thanks, but I'm sure I'll sleep even better when it's in bed next to you! Scrambled is fine. Listen to this," he said as he read from the morning news. "County building inspectors have charged billionaire real estate developer mogul Reginald Archibald Cosgrove Wentworth III with multiple violations of building codes in Wentworth Manor after inspectors discovered yesterday that substandard materials were used in the foundations of all seventy two homes in the community. The discovery was made when an unidentified potential home buyer had a standard pre sale home inspection performed and the inspector alerted the county of the alarming findings. The materials used are disintegrating at an alarming rate, according to inspectors, and the county has determined that all of the homes in Wentworth Estates are unsafe and residents must be relocated, at Wentworth's expense, until the homes can be repaired or a financial settlement reached. Documents seized late yesterday at Wentworth's office in San Francisco indicate he knowingly hired unlicensed Ferengi laborers to build the homes as a cost cutting measure in the upscale gated community and knew cheaper Ferengi materials were substituted. The county plans further inspections in Wentworth Estates to determine if other substandard materials were used in constructing the expensive homes. County Commissioner Morris has suggested that any home built by real estate developer Wentworth should be fully inspected at his expense. Morris has launched a full scale investigation, citing that his office has already uncovered discrepancies in some of the documents Wentworth submitted. Attorney Penelope Avila, representing the homeowners in a lawsuit against Wentworth that could reach well into the billions in reparations and punitive damages, said they plan to file as soon as the inspections are complete. She is quoted as saying she plans to pursue Wentworth to the fullest extent of the law for defrauding and endangering the residents of the community and she is urging that criminal charges be brought against him as well. The Chronicle made several attempts to contact Mr. Wentworth for comment, however he did not return our calls."

Kathryn put the eggs aside as she was laughing so hard she couldn't stir them. "Looks like somebody is up to his pompous ass in hot water, thanks to you."

"I hope so, what he did to all those people is awful and I hope he loses his shirt over it. From what my inspector said, he's lucky one of those houses didn't fall down and kill someone."

Kathryn went back to preparing breakfast. "Well, just be thankful you're not living in Wentworth Manor."

"Trust me, Kathryn, I'm living exactly where I want to be and I'm very thankful."

"Me too. Here's your eggs, sorry if they're a little dry."

"Thank you, they look fine," he lied as he tried to chop up the yellow rubbery mass on his plate. "Kathryn, have you given any thought to what you're going to do when the puppies are old enough to go to new homes? I was sort of planning on adopting one, but that was before I was living here."

Kathryn looked over at the puppies and smiled. "Well, I was kind of thinking of keeping one too, Molly most likely. I take it you want Kolopak?"

"Yes, he's adorable and he likes me already, I can tell. Would that be OK, having three dogs? I could fence off the backyard from the far side of the pool on back. That would give them plenty of space to run and play and I could connect their area to the house on the left side of the pool and put a doggy door in the den. That way they could come and go as they please and we wouldn't have to worry about them falling into the pool if we forget to turn on the force field over it."

"Sure, that would be just wonderful! Chakotay, Kes and Neelix belong together, so why don't we just keep them all? Three little dogs, four little dogs, what's the difference? It would be the same thing as having one big dog. That'll give us two girls and two boys, I think that would be the perfect family, don't you?"

"Yes, oh yes, I love them all so much already I don't think I could bear to part with any of them."

"Me either," Kathryn said as she sat back and smiled. "You and four beautiful children, what more could I want?"

"More coffee?"

"Please!"

/\

"Chakotay! I told you not to run around in your shorts!"

"Kathryn, you're home early! I'm sorry, I just ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth. It won't happen again, I swear!"

"See that it doesn't!" she said as she slammed her hands on her hips. "I want my husband running around naked when I get home from work, is that understood?"

"Yes, Ma'am," he said as he shucked off the shorts, grabbed and kissed her. "Mmm, Kathryn, I think your breasts are bigger."

"It's the admiral's uniform, they're cut better and are more flattering."

Chakotay checked her again most thoroughly. "The uniform most certainly is very flattering, but they still feel bigger to me. I think they got promoted on Monday too. What do you say you get out of that uniform, humm? I much prefer my admirals naked."

"I'll be sure tell Owen that next time I see him," she said as she started undressing. "I let the dogs out. The puppies are in the playpen in the kitchen and Kes is on the sofa in the den and I gave her a Barky Bone, so you know what that means."

"Yes," he said as he started taking Kathryn's undershirt off. "It means my wife and I have at least an hour to ourselves. Ooohh, Kathryn, you're wearing non regulation underwear!"

"Yes, I am," she replied as she kicked herself out of her pants and modeled it for him. "Sexy isn't it? Are you going to put me on report?"

He grabbed Kathryn and tossed her on the bed as she shrieked. "Yes, and I think it's time for a little disciplinary action, Admiral Janeway, so I'm going to start by confiscating that non-regulation lacy lingerie!"

"Oooohhhhhh, Chakotay!!"

THE END

Kathryn & Chakotay lived and loved

happily ever after in Primrose Acres.

With thanks to Gates, my magical sounding board, as always!