I don't own Glee and I don't own the characters, this is FANfiction after all.
I'm from Spain so if there's any mistake, I'm sorry.
SANTANA'S POV
On Friday morning I was at my locker, busy trying to find my books, but I gave up after five minutes and decided to share with Brittany. Maybe Britt is right and I should clean my locker… I thought.
Suddenly, two hands covered my eyes, almost giving me a heart attack.
"Guess who?" A sweet voice asked.
I smiled relieved, knowing that it was just my favorite blonde saying good morning. It didn't matter if I was having a crappy day, just one look from those blue eyes and everything was fine. I knew very well what I felt for my best friend, I knew I was madly in love with her, but I was also very afraid of the talks, of what would people say behind my back. However, I had never been brave enough to tell Brittany, I was just a coward. In the other hand, I was suspicious that the blonde already knew, but I couldn't be sure.
"Good morning San" Said Brittany with a huge grin.
"Hey Britt-Britt"
"Hey, so I was thinking that today is Friday and, well, my parents have this dinner on the outskirts of town with my dad's boss and they are staying at a hotel, and Ashley is staying at a friend's house, so we could watch a film in my house, instead of yours."
There wasn't any place I would rather be other than with her, cuddled in her bed and watching a film, but I couldn't go.
"I'm sorry Britt but I have plans with Puck… he is taking me to Breadstix"
I saw how her face dropped, sadness visible in her eyes. It killed me to see her like this, knowing that I was the one who caused it.
"Oh, ok, emm, fine, I'll see you around"
My best friend started to walk away, looking at the floor. I literally felt a pang on my chest. This was my entire fault, if I weren't a coward I would be able to spend my life with her, to hold her hand not caring what other people thought.
"Britt, wait. Don't be mad, please" I pleaded.
"I'm not mad, I just remembered that I have to talk to a teacher, I'll see you later" And with that she left. I knew she didn't have to talk to any teacher, but I wanted to give her space. But that didn't ease my guilty feeling.
AT NIGHT, BRITTANY'S POV
I can't sleep, I miss her. I know it's stupid, she's not even mine. I can't get jealous because she doesn't love me. If she loved me, she would be here, like we have been doing all Friday nights for the past six years. But it seems that she has more important things to do. I can't blame her, though. We are growing up and she likes boys, so it's normal to go on dates with them, right? I guess Puck was a nice guy, he could make her happy; kiss her goodnight and good morning… AGGGH! I hate to feel like this. I've tried to get rid of these feelings for the past four years, at least, but no success so far.
I try to get comfortable between my sheets and pillows, but it seems like I need her to fall asleep. I miss her scent, her hair, her little nose, her lips… not that I have kissed her, but they are just so… full and kissable. I wish I could be a guy, make her fall in love with me and kiss her just because I could. Keep dreaming, Brittany.
I look to the clock over my night stand and I see it's quite early to sleep, but I thought that being awake would be worse. Now I see how wrong I was; being in bed, not being able to sleep only led to one thing: thinking of her.
Suddenly a blue light lights up my whole room. I know it, it is a storm and I am screwed. Since I was a kid I have dreaded the storms. I think it's because one day, when I was five, I was playing in the backyard while my parents were in the kitchen having a coffee. Everything was fine until the wind started to blow, then the rain came and finally the thunders. I walked towards the door but the wind closed it and because of my nerves and that my parents couldn't hear me, I panicked. Of course the story ended well, but since that day I hate storms. I am 17 year old and I am afraid of storms.
Only one person knows about this, and you know who it is. She discovered one night playing truth or dare when she asked what my silliest fear was. I felt ashamed but you know how Santana is with me, she never laughs at me, so she kissed my temple and told me that whenever I was afraid, she would hold me. She even pinky promised it. Well, I can't see her anywhere so, yeah. She is with Puck anyways, probably sharing kisseAHGGG STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT.
It's the last thing I want to do now, I have enough with the storm outside, and I don't want to cope with my feelings inside. But suddenly there's a lightning and seconds later a thunder, a big freaking thunder! The worst thing is that my parents aren't at home so I am all alone.
I pull the comforter over my head and hug my stuffed unicorn as tight as I can, closing my eyes and singing anything that comes to my mind. It's not working. I just want her to hold me, to tell me that everything's gonna be alright. So, the lack of her body beside me makes me shiver. I don't know what to do. Should I go and take a hoodie or will it be worse? Maybe I should just stay in my bed until the storm it's over.
After a few minutes I decide to leave the bed, just for a minute, find a hoodie or something to wear and get in the bed once again. Shivering I stand up, run to my wardrobe and take the first hoodie I see. Then I smell it, it's hers. Crap. That's it; I collapse on my bed, tears running down my cheeks. I start sobbing, I couldn't help it. I never thought being in love could cause so much pain. I need her but she doesn't need me, and that single thought causes me physical pain.
Suddenly my door opens and I hear someone approaching me but I can't look. If it's a murder maybe he can end with this pain for good. But it's probably my mom, because she doesn't trust me alone at home, even less when there's a storm outside. But then I feel her lay next to me and she throws her arms around me pulling me closer. My fists grab her soaked shirt and I start sobbing harder on her chest. I can't believe she is here, I can't.
"shhhhh, everything is fine, you are fine, I'm here with you sweetie"
" I… I th-thought you were breaking your promise"
"I could never do that Britt, not to you"
"What about Puck? You are supposed to be with him…" I'm not sure I want to know the answer, but I have to know. I mean, she comes to my house in the middle of the night when she's supposed to be on a date with his boyfriend.
"Britt, you are much more important than him, and I know you hate storms. I couldn't leave you home alone." The answer makes me feel a little bit better, but I don't want to get my hopes.
"You should change your t-shirt, it's soaked" I stand up and go to my wardrobe and pick up some comfy clothes giving them to Santana.
"If there weren't any storm outside I would go out of my room or let you go to the bathroom to change your clothes, but I don't think I can be alone right now so I'll just turn my back. Just tell me when you are ready"
A smile appears on her face and I can't help but smile back. I turn around so she can change. Sometimes I think that she has a special smile for me, one that she doesn't show to anybody else, but then I think that maybe she has one special smile for Puck too and that makes me feel sick.
After some minutes Santana tells me I can look. She's wearing my favorite sweats with a big comfy red shirt. She usually uses that t-shirt when she's staying over. I see her get more comfortable on the bed getting under the comforter and making room for me.
"Come on, get in the bed, it's cold outside" Santana opens her arms for me to lay on and wraps them around my back and waist. I place my head on the crock of her neck and I sigh happily.
After a few minutes I hear her laugh a little, and without moving my head from her neck I ask what it she laughing at.
"I think it's funny that you are wearing my clothes and I'm wearing yours"
"Sorry, your hoodie is comfy"
What was I supposed to say? Your hoodie reminds me of you and since I love you and I was missing you I put it on? But you drop the subject and instead she asks me another question. I'd rather explain her why I am wearing her clothes.
"Why were you crying when I came in? And don't tell me it's because of the storm"
What am I going to tell her now? That I hate seeing her with Puck? No, that I hate seeing her with anybody that is not me? So I stay quiet.
"Was it because I was with Puck?" I think she notices me tense because she asks another question. She knows that it has something to do with that.
"Or was it because I wasn't here with you?" I feel trapped, like there's no escape from the situation and she will know the whole truth at the end of the night. But it scares me, because maybe she won't want to be my friend anymore, maybe she doesn't love me back and I will be all alone. So I answer.
"I don't think I want you to know why San" I say above a whisper.
"Why not? You know you can tell me anything, right?"
"Because…"
"Because…?"
"Because I am afraid"
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid that after I tell you what's going on you will hate me. That you won't be my friend anymore and Santana, I can't let that happen. You are the only one who understands me, the only one who doesn't laugh when I mix words or say strange things. The only one who believes in me. And if you don't want to be my friend I will crash down and my heart will break into a million pieces and there's no good enough glue to repair it."
I hear her sniff and then she hugs me tighter, pulling me closer to her.
"I will never stop being your friend, you are stuck with me. We are best friends Britt-Britt. I could never be angry at you. You can tell me, I am here for you."
I know she's crying, I can't see her face but I know it from the way she has talked. It's now that I realize that I am crying too. I feel her kiss the top of my head and I decide that I have had enough. I'm tired of lying, of loving her but not showing it to her.
"There's something I never told you, but once I tell you it will change everything. I'm tired of being selfless; of doing what people think is the right thing. I know things won't be the same, but I'm tired of pretending San… pretending that I love you like best friends should love when, in fact, I'm in love with you. I want to love you, hold your hand, kiss you, sleep next to you every night and wake up every morning and see your face. It kills me seeing you with anyone that is not me. It causes physical pain to see you kissing Puck or any guy."
I was now looking at her eyes, tears running down my face, my whole body shivering. She was crying to, her mouth half open.
"San, please say something"
She kept quiet and I knew this was the end of our friendship. If she loved me she would have already said something.
"I shouldn't have said anything, I'm… I'm sorry I… I'll stay in my sister's bedroom, you can stay here if you want, you may hate me but I still care about you and I don't want you to get sick. Good night San, I… I love you".
I couldn't bear it anymore. I had to get away from my room; it was killing me seeing her like that. I closed the door and run down the hall to my sister's room. I collapse on the bed, sobbing and shivering, gripping tight her hoodie as tight as I can, trying to get the comfort I really need from her.
I don't know how long I stay there, but I know that I won't sleep tonight. I'm curled under the sheets, gripping the pillow because I didn't take my unicorn when I left. I hear my bedroom door open and I know she's leaving. She couldn't even stay the night, she hates me. But when I think that everything is over the door opens. I'm not ready to confront her yet, though, so I pretend that I'm sleeping. It's what I've been doing lately, pretend.
NARRATOR'S POV
Santana opens the door, afraid of what she will find in the other side. She's not feeling good, she's shivering, her heart hurts, but basically she's afraid. She enters the room and walk towards the bed, where Brittany is laying, apparently sleeping. She doesn't hesitate; she lies behind the blonde and throws an arm around her waist pressing her front against her back.
"I don't know if you are asleep or you just don't want to face me, which it's fine, I don't see why you would want to talk to me after I didn't say anything earlier. I'm so, so, sorry. I wasn't ready for that conversation. It's been in my mind for so long, I've tried to push back those thoughts and feelings, because I never thought you would love me back. My entire life I've thought that loving a girl was wrong, you know? My grandma always said "boys like girls and girls like boys", and I was so afraid that if I came out she would stop loving me, I am afraid. I thought that going out with Puck would help, that I would be finally normal and I wouldn't have to cope with this inner fight. But I'm sick; sick of pretending be who I'm not. I'm not happy. You are the one who cheers me up when I'm sad, the only one who understands me. Even if my day is good, you make it better. Saturday mornings are the best, because I get to wake up next to you and there's no one at home, so I can be who I really am. Sometimes when I wake up I feel your finger running up and down my arm or my back and I pretend to be asleep so you can continue. You are the only one who knows me Britt. And I love you, like never before."
Santana is crying. It's too late, she thinks. But she's not going to let the blonde leave. No, she's going to fight for her; she doesn't care about people's opinion anymore because she's sick of being a bitch. She loves that girl and she's going to show it.
After a few minutes, Brittany turns around in the latina's arms, eyes red and puffy, and she looks into the brown eyes. Tears are running down both faces, but none of the girls make a move.
"Do you mean it?" Asked Brittany
"Of course I do, I love you, proudly so"
A small smile appears on Brittany's face and Santana thinks that maybe it's not too late.
Santana wipes Brittany's tears with her thumb and smiles.
"I feel butterflies when you do that" Brittany whispers. She closes her eyes and blushes; she didn't mean to say that out loud. But she doesn't have time to regret, because Santana kisses her. It's soft and delicate, but they are both trying to pour all the love they have for each other. The latina places her hand on Brittany's neck and pulls her closer, deepening the kiss. When they tongues meet they both moan, fireworks on their inside.
When the girls need air they pull apart, both grinning at each other. Santana pecks Brittany one last time.
"I love you Britt" Says against her lips
"I love you too San, so much"