I don't own Harry Potter. This was something random I wrote while bored; I hope it's not too terrible...

One day I'll be famous for my interviews, just like my brother will be a world-renowned photographer.
As a little independent project I invented for myself for fun, I've decided to ask Professor Snape some questions.

"Sir, would you answer a few questions for me?"
"No. Go away."

"Sir, what's your favorite color?"
"I said, go away, you pesky, insolent fool."

"Sir, it's a harmless question. Please?"
"What part of "no" don't you understand? Ten points from Gryffindor."

"Black? Green? Emerald? Harry Potter's eyes are a beautiful color, don't you think?"
"..."

"Oh, I saw that, sir! The color of Harry Potter's eyes it is, then, professor."
"Now wait one moment you idiotic hyperactive brat—"

"—Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
"Do you really expect me to hand out tidbits about my personal life? Twenty more points from Gryffindor."

"All right, all right, sir. Who's the best friend you've ever had?"
"None of your business. Fifty points from Gryffindor. That's eighty so far. Keep it up and we'll bankrupt your House of points in one night."

"All right, sir, I'll be glad to keep it up!"
*Growl*
"Come on, sir, who was your best friend when you were in school?"
"Someone who was absolutely nothing like you. Leave. Me. Be."

"Come on, sir. Who was your best friend?"
"Fifty more points from Gryffindor. One-hundred thirty. Your Housemates will be so pleased."

"Sir, I do believe you just blushed. Were you in love with your best friend?"
"What on Earth would give you that idea?"

"Well, your reaction to that, for one. And you don't seem to me like the type of person who'd be gay, so your best friend was a girl? What House was she in?"
"None of your business, you contemptible, insufferable nuisance!"

"Confirmation! So you really were in love with your female best friend! How unexpected! So, let me guess, she was a Gryffindor?"
"One hundred points from Gryffindor!"

I took that as a yes, but could not ask further questions, for he finally forcefully ejected me from his office. If you're wondering how my fellow Gryffindors took the loss of over two hundred points in the space of five minutes, I'm sure they would not have taken it well. Luckily, we did not have to find out, for Professor McGonagall saw how many points were taken and confronted Professor Snape about it. She decided my infractions were not so great as to merit the loss of two hundred and thirty points, so she gave all but twenty points back, which angered Professor Snape greatly.

Please review! I don't typically write Q and As, especially with the intent of being funny... so 1) Did the characters say the sort of things you would expect them to say? 2) Was I successful in being at least slightly comical? 3) What would have made it more funny? 4) Should this be a one-shot or should I try to write interviews for some other characters as well? 5) Any other comments?

Thanks!