Authors Note: Hi all!
I have recently been clearing through all the old documents on my computer in preparation for University (in 2 weeks I'll be there!) and I came across this gem. I had written it on the 12th February 2012 (12/02/2012). It is a little different to what I usually write but after rereading I fell in love with it and wanted to share it with you all.
Disclaimer: I own nothing xx
She didn't understand it. She never understood why he became this depressed on this day every year. 14th February. Valentines Day. It should really be day for the two of them to indulge in each other and have a bit of fun. It was what every other couple in the country and the house was doing. But not them.
She hadn't really paid too much attention to the date in the early years. Back then he was pretty depressed all the time so the date didn't matter. But now...he was rarely depressed and never this depressed. Well only on this day every year. Valentines wasn't a holiday they celebrated.
She wondered whether it was going to be like this for all of eternity. She guessed it would be. She just wanted to know why because then she might be able to help him.
In fact the couple never spent the day together. He always dissappeared off by himself to brood and she generally went shopping. As per usual. Of course the others in the house were normally off doing what couples mated together for eternity did but this year was different.
They had got sick of him dissapearing and leaving his wife alone on Valentines Day. They din't know why he did it and they wanted to know why. So they were all sat in the living room having a family meeting. He was sat at the lake. Alone.
Esme looked out of the windows longingly. She wanted to go comfort her 'son' but didn't know how or why. "He just looks so...so..."
"We know..." Carlisle said capturing his wifes attention. Carlisle and Esme were the parents of the covern or family as they preferred to be called. Despite the fact that only Esme had ever had a child. A son. He had died at the tender age of 6 months.
Esme spun round and gently frowned at Alice, "I hadn't realised it was this bad...why didn't you mention something?"
Alice sighed. If she could cry she would. "I didn't want to ruin any of your days...normally he's fine...and then every year on this day he just...just...shuts down..."
Rose placed her head in her hands and sighed. "I should have noticed something...he's my brother...my twin brother..."
Emmett wrapped an arm around his wife, "This isn't your fault...it's no ones...it's just...it's Jasper...we knew there were issues when he and squirt arrived...we just didn't realise how deep those issues were..."
Bella, who was new to the situation this being her first valentines day as a vampire, was curious. "How long does he normally..."
Alice shrugged, "It normally starts around the 10th...and he comes back to normal...well Jasper normal...about 20th...so he's normally like this for the best part of two weeks...and then he gets really depressed on the 16th June, 21st September and 20th December...and I don't know why?"
Edward, who could never get a steady thought from Jasper in those moods just sat silently not knowing how he could help. His gift left him useless in this situation and in his eyes this made him useless.
"Has anyone ever...just asked him?" Bella asked.
The Cullens shook their heads violently.
Alice took a deep breath. "I tried once...about 20 years ago...he just clammed up and took off...didn't see him for three days...I've been too scared to ask since..."
Carlisle who was watching his newest son out of the window sighed.
Jasper just sat staring out across the lake.
She was beautiful. Everybody new that. She was as sweet as apple pie and as pretty as a rose. She was the apple of her daddies eye and the independant strong women her mother had raised her to be.
Shewas the only child to a rich plantation owner and his exquiste wife. She was highly educated unlike many of the girls in the town. Girls and women were the homemakers. All they needed to know was how to cook, clean, sew and look after children. Men and boys were the educated ones. They read the Daily Newspaper, they were interested in politics, they were the bread winners.
Not in this little family. Mummy was just as educated as Daddy and she was just as educated as the pair of them. 14 years of age. Marigable age. Any boy would be lucky to have her. They just has to get through her father first.
He was the oldest son of an inn owner and his wife. He had three younger siblings, two girls and one boy. His father was incredibly educated man, his mother wasn't educated in slightest.His siblings all under the age of 11 enjoyed to sit out in the sun and play.
Heenjoyed to ride past her fathers plantation house just to watch her read on the veranda. He liked to read himself and had once engaged her in conversation about a novel. She never gave any of the other boys a shy look over the top of her book from her seat on the old wooden swing on the veranda. But she gave it to him. Every time he passed she would pause momentarily to watch the 15 year old cowboy ride on by.
It was one day that he got brave and decide to speak to the girl.
"Good Afternoon Miss...I was wondering if I would have the pleasure of taking Miss to the Summer Carnival this weekend?"
She put her book down on the swing, gathered her pastel yellow skirt and began to walk towards the little white fence that seperated the pair. When she reached the fence she let her skirt drop so that it danced on the soil at her feet.
"Well Sir...you had better ask my daddies permission..."
Emmett stopped behind his brother and asked himself why he had been the one to volunteer to go first. He took a silent breath, one which he didn't really need and took another step towards his brother.
"Jazz...it's me Emmett...I was wondering if you were coming inside...you've been out here for ages..."
Jasper just ignored Emmett. Either that or he didn't hear him. Just as Emmett was about to walk away Jasper whispered something that made Emmett's heart break a little for his brother.
"In...In mine and...alices' room...theres a guitar case...in the closet...underneath some old books...can you bring it down? Please?"
Emmett nodded, "Yeah...I'll be back in a bit..."
Jasper just nodded and returned his gaze back to the lake.
"He wants what?" Alice asked confused. She just stood watching Emmett rumage through some of Jaspers things in the closet.
"A guitar case...you have any idea where it is?"
Alice shook her head and looked at her small feet, "I didn't even know he had one..."
Emmett stopped and looked at his little sister, "Hey...look at your clothing...I'm guessing it can't be hard for him to hide something in here...even with your future seeing talents..."
Alice sighed, "Thats the thing...I can never see his future when he gets like this..."
Alice became silent as she heard light footsteps coming towards the room. It was Nessie, Bella and Edwards half vampire half human daughter.
"Have you tried in that cupbaord Uncle Em? Are you okay Auntie Ali?"
Alice offered Nessie a small smile, "I'm okay Ness...how are you doing?"
Nessie frowned, "I don't like it when Uncle Jazzie is upset..."
Alice hugged Nessie, "No one does honey...but we are going to work out why he is so upset...and I'm going to do my best to make sure he doesn't get this upset again..."
"Good...and Uncle Em...the guitar case is under that large book on that shelf..."
Nessie then left the room.
"The little...she could have told me that earlier..." Emmett pulled a black guitar case off of the shelf, "It's heavy..."
Alice shrugged, "I didn't think he played any musical instruments...I guess I don't know him as well as I thought I did..."
Emmett shook his head, "Who the hell knows whats going on with him...but we are going to find out..."
Once Emmett had delivered the guitar case to Jasper he returned to the house.
Jasper pulled out a chain from underneath his shirt and pulled the key off of it. He carefully unlocked the guitar case lock and unzipped the case. The first thing he came across was a flag. The Flag for the Confederacy. He slowly pulled back the cloth to reveal an old worn guitar. The case and lock may be new but the occupants of the case were definately not.
They began their courtship. Her daddy was surprisingly welcoming towards him. But then again, he didn't try anything. He was too wrapped up in the beautiful girl. He was the envy of all the boys in town but none were bitter. Everyone loved him and everyone loved her. Together they were the perfect pair.
He liked to draw and read. She liked to read and watch him draw. She knew he liked to draw pictures of her. And she let him. And so did her daddy after a bit of persuassion. He especially liked to draw pictures of her reading. His favorite of her was the one of her sitting reading on the veranda swing in the sun. She looked so beautiful. So perfect.
Drawing was the only way of capturing a scene forever and his mother was very talented. She had drawn pictures of all of her children growing up and of her husband. And she enjoyed drawing pictures of her son and who she knew would be her daughter in law. It was only a matter of time.
His mother had catured various moments in the young couples courtship. She captured the essence of their first kiss without ever actually being witness to it, just from the description her son gave to her. But she never thought that her drawings would stand the test of time.
Jasper removed the old guitar from the case a layed it across his lap with the back facing him. He ran his finger along the words that had been scribed into the back, 'I love you Forever and Always Lou'.
They were married on the 14th February 1856. He was 16 and she was 15. The weather was perfect. The guests were perfect. The couple were perfect. In the days that followed his mother was drawing constantly wanting to capture the essence of every moment of the wedding.
The couple had married in the little chapel in the town. She was of course dressed in white and he was dressed in a dark waist coat suit. The whole town had turned up to watch the couple marry. A scene which his mother was able to capture in her drawings. This was time without war. Without mistrust. Without diagreement.
They were ready for their future together.
"Rose why don't you try talking to him? He has always been close to you..." Carlisle suggested softly.
Rose nodded and stood up. Esme had tried. Carlisle had tried. Emmett had tried. Edward had tried. Bella had tried. She was the last to try.
"I can try...but I don't know how much he will tell me...if anything..."
Alice looked up at the blonde beauty, "Just try Rose...that's all anyone can do..."
On the 16th June 1857 she gave birth to their first child, a son whom they named Austin James. The same middle name as his father. Once again his mother captured the moments on paper. She captured his first hold of Austin. Of the three of them together at home on the veranda swing.
Her father had passed away a few months after the pair had wed the previous year and the young couple had begun married life in her daddies plantation house with her mother. Their life was perfect.
Two years later on the 20th December 1859, she gave birth to their second child this time a baby girl; Poppy Grace. The same middle name as her mother. And just like her mother she was the apple of her daddies eye.
The little family of four were constantly being drawn by his mother. But none minded. In fact they quite enjoyed the attention.
It was for his 22nd birthday that she gave him the engraved guitar. She loved listening to him play and sing and she wanted him to play on the instrument she had given him. That was when she was 21, Austin was 6 and Poppy was 4.
War had broken in 1861 and Jasper had of course signed up. He was patriotic and wanted to fight for the confederacy. But that had meant leaving his perfect little family.
But luckily for him his mother kept sending him pictures of his wife and children. With their support from home he quickly moved through the ranks of the army to the position of Major. This allowed him to visit home more often. The guitar had been a welcome gift.
He just wished he could see her more.
Rose stepped outside and into the garden. She took a deep breath, straightened her blouse and began the short walk to Jasper at a human pace. When she reached him she took another deep breath and composed herself.
"Jazz...hey it's Rose...I was wondering whether I could sit with you?"
Jasper nodded his head and continued to stare ot across the lake. Rose sat beside him and the pair sat in silence. Rose knew that this place was calm and peaceful. It was where she came when she needed to get away from the prying mind of Edward. Rose glanced carefully across at the guitar on her brothers lap and then returned her gaze to out across the lake.
"Rosie...you, Esme...and Alice...say that it is better to have loved and had something and then lost it than to have never had it all...but do you really believe that?"
Rose looked at Jasper softness in her eyes, "I don't know Jazz...why?"
Jasper turned his head back out towards the lake.
On the 14th February 1864, the couples 8th wedding anniversary, he arrived home from war to a sight he had prayed would never come true. What felt like the entire town was on her daddies plantation. Those in the garden gave him sympethetic looks as he rushed passed the little white fence he rode passed as a youngster. He dashed into the house still dressed in his Uniform.
The sight before his eyes would haunt him for all of eternity.
Layed on the floor covered in blood was his gorgeous wife, his brave son and the apple of his eye. Dead. A black women was also layed on the floor dead. She had been a nanny. The couple had never truely believed in slavery and had a close relationship with the staff, whether they be white or black.
He ran forward and dropped to his knees next to her. Her eyes were open. His tears dripped down onto her cotton dress. He kissed her cheek, her hand, her lips. She was gone. They were all gone. He managed to compose himself to pull his daughter closer to him and onto his lap. His son was already their. He kissed their foreheads and held tightly onto them all. Not ready to let go.
As he sat there alone and in silence he noticed the Union Flag, a symbol of who had brutally murdered his perfect family. He was only vaguely aware of the pass of time when his mother appeared behind him. She pulled her son into a tight hug, his grip still tight on his wife and children.
It was in the days that followed the funeral that he really struggled. At the funeral he had just been in shock. Following the tradition of the town all jewelly had been removed before the burial. He had put it all in small wooden boxes; his wifes diamond wedding ring, a pearl brooch and an engraved silver locket, the words, 'For you my sweetheart' inside. His daughters tiny silver bracelet and his sons silver neck chain that had been her fathers went into another wooden box.
She was burried in her wedding dress an engraved stone marking the spot. The words:
'Forever and Always
Louise Grace Harper-Whitlock
1841-1864'
Austin was buried to the left of his mother dressed in his formal church clothes. The spot was once again marked by an engraved stone that read:
'Sleep Tight
Austin James Whitlock
1857-1864'
Poppy was buried to the right of her mother dressed in her formal sunday dress. The spot was once again marked by an engraved stone that read:
'Little Miss Sunshine
Poppy Grace Whitlock
1859-1864'
It was after the funeral that he went back to war. He put his guitar and other belongings in his old room in his parents house before going back to war. He fought harder than ever to kill as many Union Soldiers as he could in anger for what they had done to his family.
He was Major Jasper James Whitlock.
Rose sat watching Jasper. He hadn't spoken in an hour, in fact she was sure that if he could cry he would be doing. But he couldn't. She couldn't.
"It's not true...that saying...it can't be..."
Jasper reached into the guitar case and pulled out a drawing and passed it to Rose. Rose gave him a curious look before looking at the picture. It was of a young girl, around the age of 14. She was sat on a wooden swing on a veranda. A book layed in her lap.
"Louise Grace Harper...she was 14 then...I was 15...I used to ride my horse past the little white fence...just to see her..."
Rose looked at Jasper, she noticed a small smile on his face.
"She was gorgeous...a real beautiful texan girl...I could never pluck up the courage to talk to her...and then one day I did..."
He reached into the guitar case and passed Rose another picture.
"I took her to the Summer Carnival...I remember the envious looks I recieved from my friends...from everyone...of course her mother chaperoned the trip...I wasn't a rebel..."
Rose smiled at the picture in her lap. The girl, Louise, was holding hands with what appeared to be a young and very handsome Jasper.
"That day was the first day that I had ever really had a long conversation with her...we discussed all manner of things...my fathers inn, her fathers plantation, the weather...everything that wasn't going to cause a seperation...we of course avoided all taboo topics no matter how much we want to hear each other opinions on the matters..."
Jasper reached into the case once again and passed Rose another picture. Rose smiled. Jasper was stood in a cowboy hat, under what appeared to be an apple tree with a horse tied to it, kissing the girl, Louise.
"Our first kiss...my mother drew these...despite the fact she wasn't there...somehow from my description she captured the emotion of ever moment...we had been in formal courtship for a month at this point...It was this day that I realised why had to ride past the little white fence every day...I loved her..."
Rose glanced back at Jasper and was surprised to still see a slight smile on his face. He reached back into the case an pulled out the next picture and passed it to Rose. Rose was surprised to see Jasper and Louise getting married.
"We got married on 14th February 1856...today would be our 156th wedding anniversary... everyone in town turned up to the wedding...I was so so happy...I was 16 then...she was 15...it was just over a year since I had first asked her to the summer carnival..."
Jasper passed her the next picture with a sad smile.
"A year later...Lou gave birth to a baby boy...Austin James...he was a lot like I imagine Emmett was as a kid really...he was loud, boistrous and adventurous...a real handful..."
The picture he had handed Rose was a beautiful scene. Louise was layed against Jasper on the bed, a gorgerous baby boy in her arms.
Jasper reached into the case again and pulled out another picture. The scene was similar to the one before. Louise was layed in Jasper's arms once again. This time a beautiful baby girl was curled up in her arms.
"Two years later Lou gave birth to our daughter...Poppy Grace...she was gorgeous...she had me wrapped around her little finger the moment laid eyes on her...I would do anything and everything for her...she was always smiling..."
Jasper passed Rose two pictures. One was a scene with Jasper and Austin playing in garden while Louise sat on the veranda swing with Poppy watching the boys. The second was a hauntingly beautiful scene. It was the four of them sat on the veranda swing. Jasper was sat in his Uniform, the markings of his rank, Major, clearly visable. Louise was sat next to him in a baby blue dress. Poppy was sat on Jasper's knee, one of her hands was twiddling his blonde hair. Austin was squeesed into a small space betwen Jasper and Louise.
"That first picture...it was just before war broke...1861...it had just been Poppy's 2nd birthday... Austin will have been 4...I was 20...Lou was 19..."
Jasper turned his head back to look out at the lake. "The second picture was in 1863...my 22nd birthday...I had surprised them with a visit home...I hadn't been able to make it back for christmas... Lou was 21, Austin was 6 and Poppy was 4...Lou had got me that engraved guitar for my birthday and it's probably one of my most prized posessions...that's the last picture I have of us all together..."
He reached into the case without removing his eyes from the lake and pulled out another picture. This time it was just of Louise, Austin and Poppy.
"My mum sent me this one...the last picture I recieved on the 26th January 1864..."
Rose just looked at the picture. It was a sad picture.
"I returned home on the 14th February 1864...our 8th Wedding anniversary...I...I...I entered the house...and...and they were dead...just lying their...blood covering them...I don't really remember what I did then...it was Union Soldiers who'd killed them...they'd left the flag...I do remember burning that..."
Jasper passed her the next picture and quickly looked away so he didn't have to see her face. Rose gasped. The pictured showed Jasper kneeling crying next to the dead bodies of Louise, Austin and Poppy. A Union Flag could be seen on the table.
Jasper swallowed and took a deep breath, "The funeral was held three days later...I don't think I left their side until I had to...Lou was buried in her wedding dress...and Austin and Poppy in their sunday best...that's the last picture I have..."
Jasper then reached into the case and pulled out two wooden boxes. He opened the first. Inside was a tiny shiny silver bracelet and small silver chain he passed the box to Rose.
"The bracelet was Poppy's and the chain was originally Lou's fathers but she gave it to Austin..."
He then opened the second box. Inside was a beautiful pearl brooch, a siver locket and a diamond wedding ring.
"These...These...were Lou's...I kept them all...They were put in these boxes on the day of the...the funeral..."
Rose looked up at Jasper and said her first words in hours, "How did you get these back?"
Jasper sighed, "I went back to war...I vowed to kill as many Union Soldiers as possible and then I met Maria...after she changed me I snuck back into my parents house when they were out and collected all these things in a old saddle bag...I put my old cowboy hat and boots in the bag...and my army medals...when I...I left Maria, it was the only thing I picked up..."
Jasper looked out at the lake, "When me and Alice first joined the family...I moved it all into a cardoard box and just labelled it books...Alice knows better than to get rid of my books...and then a couple of years ago...just before we moved to Forks...I went out and bought a large guitar case..."
Rose reached out and took hold of Jasper's hand.
"I just...I love them so much and I miss them so much it hurts...my heart actually hurts...I love Alice I do...It's not the same way I love Lou...I had them...I had the perfect life...and then I lost it...and sometimes I wish hadn't had it all if it meant I wouldn't be this hurt...and then last year when Nessie was born and Edward refused to acknowledge her existance...I just...I couldn't understand why...he had the chance to be a father and he wasn't taking it..."
Rose handed Jasper the pictures back and kissed his cheek. She watched as he carefully put all the pictures back into order and everything back into the guitar case in the correct place. He zipped up the case and locked it and tucked the chain with key on it back under his shirt.
"You need to tell them...tell Alice...she worries herself sick that you are just going to take off..."
"I'm sorry I really am...I just...it's this day..."
Rose managed to coax Jasper into going back to the house. The pair had been sat by the lake for over 24 hours and still the rest of the family hadn't come out to find them.
Jasper pulled Rose into a one armed hug, "I'm sorry...I've ruined your valentines day..."
Rose shrugged, "Somehow I think you've had a worse day than me...and thank you...for telling me..."
Jasper squeezed her slightly, "I didn't really realise...I just started speaking and found I couldn't stop...no matter how much I wanted to...thank you for listening..."
Rose gave him a small smile, "It was actually an honour...it's quite some love story..."
Jasper nodded and took a deep breath, "They're all in the living room aren't they? I don't think I can handle them yet...I can't handle Alice yet...I need to compose myself a bit first...and hour maybe..."
Rose nodded, "No rush big brother...and I never knew you had green eyes..."
Jasper smirked, "There's not much left for you to find out now...violet eyes..."
Rose led Jasper into the house. While Rose stopped in the living room Jasper continued up to his and Alice's room. Alice got up to follow him.
"Alice...leave him an hour...he'll come down...and he'll tell you all...just...just be patient...it's some story..."