I just wanna be loved
Unbearable, the silence that was trying in vain to dissolve the tension.
Harsh, the disappointed and severe look glance of the ambassador and Mary knew that she couldn't avoid it for too long.
Unpredictable, the words that she would have listened after that sort of limbo would have ended.
They were sitting one in front of the other in the princess's private chambers, waiting for one of them to make the first move, it was just about waiting for the first to get tired, after all.
"What do you want to say?" Mary asked eventually with a sigh, in a more reserved tone than she would have liked.
Eustace slowly looked up at her and slightly shook his head surprised by that behavior.
"Nothing" he simply replied, letting reveal in that only word all his disappointment "I say nothing, because I don't have any words, Princess"
Mary looked down and all the appearance of dignity broke down in front of the truth of those words.
"What got into your mind?" he started again after some moments, letting reveal now also incredulity for the still senseless act that the young woman had made "Trying an escape? With Thomas Seymour? What did you think to get from him? Oh princess…" he continued, while the disappointment turned into anger in that reproach that the fear to loose her didn't let him express before.
With the eyes fastened on her hands, joined on the wide light blue gown, the princess didn't dare to say a word yet. She was feeling little now, she was feeling fragile, she was feeling silly. And yet, despite everything, she was still feeling lonely. How could she explain that all she was looking for was an escape from loneliness? It wasn't her fault if she had been deceived, it couldn't be because the promises that man made had sounded sincere and terribly beautiful.
"And your title? What… What would have your mother –?"
A slight touch on his hand and a ill-concealed sob interrupted Chapuys in that last painful question. He stared at her for some moments: he saw her lips, narrowed in the effort to hold down and the blue eyes which were shining like a river in flood for the tears that started to fall down her cheeks… And in that moment he desired not to have said any accuse against that creature… Too good, too naïve and too sad creature.
"I just wanted to be loved" she managed to say between the sobs.
Eustace took softly his hands and then just held her in his strong arms, lulling her in his warm embrace.
And it was in that moment and just then that Mary understood that she had been searching love in the wrong place.