New Kid… fuck, I hate being the new kid. I've done it like a billion times now but I can't get used to it. My sophomore year in high school has taken place in three different schools already. But hey, third time's the charm, right?

Fuck all, I knew it was going to be a shit fest just like the others. I walked to school in my no-hole shoes like a little tool because my mom threw out the old ones. Where new shoes going to fix everything? Was it going to be easier now? I scoffed as the class bell rang just as I entered the front office.

"You must be Mr. Bakugo." The lady at the front desk said, sounding more than a little peeved. "You know, the front door here locks at 7:40 sharp, if you were ten seconds later, you would have had to go back home. Do you want to start off a new year this way?"

I looked at the funny little woman for a moment, trying to discern if she was being serious. When her tight frown didn't cease, I couldn't help but laugh. This forty-something nobody actually cared about school attendance more than the goddamn students. She scolded me but hell, I wasn't listening. I handed over the folder of documents that I had been told to bring. She took them and started tapping away at her keyboard. "An attitude like that isn't going to make you any friends, Mr. Bakugo." She grumbled, keeping her eyes fixed on the computer screen.

I leaned against the counter, getting in close enough that she had to look up at me. "I don't want any friends the likes of these boot-licking, spoiled brats." I told her, smirking. I saw on her face the familiar reaction of intimidation and shock. This was my circus act. Go from school to school, bringing shock and awe to high schoolers all across the nation.

The woman at the front desk, anxious to be rid of me, handed me a lanyard with an ID card attached. "This is a temporary ID card, you'll have to come by tomorrow morning, at least fifteen minutes before class begins, to pick up you're official ID."

'If I even last that long,' I thought. She blabbered on about how the ID has to be worn on my person at all times. Somewhere in her lecture, I got bored and left the office, scratching the back of my neck as I went down the hall to find my class. When I entered the room, I felt eyes all over me. It was insufferable, I wanted to yell at them to all mind their own business but for once, I managed to have some restraint. It broke Dad's heart last time I was expelled… I wanted to at least try to do a little better, I guess.

The teacher, some pleated-suit tool, politely made excuses for me. "Oh, you must be out new transfer, Katsuki Bakugo, right? The office tends to run slow but don't worry, you haven't missed anything yet. I was just taking role. Would you like to introduce yourself?" He said. I couldn't stand guys like that, so fake. Why was he making up stories for me when it was obvious that I just couldn't give two shits about showing up on time for his class?

I looked out into the sea of hungry eyes. Dammit, I hated this part. "Hey." I said. Compared to my normal self, I would say this was pretty good behavior. Still, the hungry eyes kept trying to dissect me. I looked around at their stupid faces. Some just stared at me with bored, placid frowns but I much preferred that to the fake, prepared smiles that I received from others. One face, however, was a little different. Some green-haired weirdo right in the front actually smiled at me. Not some practiced raising of the cheeks, this dumb shit looked like he was goddamn excited to see me, as if he knew me. It was so convincing actually that I had to wonder if I knew him but I was sure that I didn't. To be honest, it pissed me off a little. This kid was the tooliest tool in the shed, the kind that actually believed the charade.

The teacher had probably heard from my last school about me so he sat me right in the front to keep an eye on me. This also happened to next to Mr. Smiling-dork-face. I sat and avoided looking at him though he remained pretty interested in me. I could feel his beady little eyes gnawing into my back and when I turned my head, he was in my peripherals. I was trying to behave myself but dammit, this little brat was just too annoying! "Hey, mind your own business, would you?" I snarled lowly, hoping the teacher wouldn't hear and make a fuss.

The green-eyed boy seemed a little surprised. He sat back in his chair and looked down at his desk. This was a kid with some sense, he knew how to back the fuck off. The lecture began- I don't even remember what it was about. Of course, Mr. Teacherman had to find something to complain about. "Mr. Bakugo, you just started so don't worry about this but, could you please pull out some paper and a pen for notes like your classmates?"

I sat back with my arms crossed. "I'll just remember it." I said. The truth was, I hadn't brought a notebook with me but I wasn't about to announce that to these Richie-riches. They'd probably all feel bad for poor ol' me (even though I'm plenty capable of buying a notebook) and then all those martyrs would make me into some sort of charity case.

Teacher was not fooled. "Midoriya, would you lend Mr. Bakugo a few pages of paper just for today?" He asked. The green-haired boy, of course, complied without protest. That image burned into my memory, the naïve little sucker tearing out paper and handing it to me with wide, curious, and easy to manipulate eyes. Fuck. I grabbed the paper in my fist, wrinkling it to the point of being unusable. I watched as that stupid, innocent, expression fell to one of confusion and offense. 'That's it. Wake up, kid. That teacher guy is playing you. Life's not peaches and cream, get that through your thick skull,' I thought.

There were little gasps from my classmates as I put the wrinkled paper on my desk as if nothing had happened. Midoriya, the brave little bastard, slipped a pencil on my desk swiftly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him returning his pencil case to his backpack. The little pouch was decorated in bright blue and red. "Captain America…?" I muttered without thinking, a little surprised by the childish case.

Midoriya's eyes lit up. "Yeah, do you know-"

"Midoriya." The teacher interrupted. The boy shut his mouth and looked forward, a little embarrassed by being called out. Shit… now I sort of almost a tiny bit felt bad for getting him in trouble. For a little boot-licker like him, getting yelled at by Teacher was like a whip to the back. I didn't want to feel bad for anyone, especially not him.

Class went on and I took notes. I hate taking notes but after hurting Dad so much and now getting Midoriya in trouble, I guess you could say I was feeling a little humbled. I hated people taking my shit for me. I managed to not make a scene for two more classes, which felt like running a marathon for me. The lectures were so boring that I wanted to smack my head against the wall and the little posers in my class just pissed me off. Lunch time came and finally, I found a familiar routine. I took my paper lunch bag and searched out a spot where people would leave me alone. I ended up wandering up to the roof.

No students, no teachers, no stupid bullshit. I felt like I could finally take a deep breath. I sat down on the concrete and pulled out my lunch: leftover mac n' cheese and two slices of whole grain bread. I guess it looked pretty shitty but food was food, I didn't care. I enjoyed the cool breezes and resounding silence, it gave me a minute to collect myself again.

'I'm not going to fuck this up,' I told myself. 'This time I'm really going to try… for Dad's sake.' When he told me that he was going to start working two jobs and that Mom was going to pick up extra shifts so that I could go somewhere nicer than those other schools… man, I just felt like a piece of shit for being such a burden to them.

When I returned to the classroom, everyone was still on lunch break except for that green-haired kid, who was standing at my desk with the built-in drawer open and a folded paper in his hand. He froze when he saw me, his hand raised and the little white note poking out of his fist. "Ah- Bakugo-san-" He started in a nervous voice.

"What are you doing in my desk?" I growled.

"N-nothing." His eyes darted to the note and as he tried to hide it behind his back, I stepped forward and seized his hand. Those big green eyes opened wide. He tried to pull away from me but I bent his hand back mercilessly, forcing him to drop the note and I pinned his weak little soul down with a sharp glare. He gave a little yelp of pain but it fell on deaf ears as I picked up the note and opened it. He stood by, trembling slightly as I read.

Bakugo,

No one appreciates your half-assed personality. You're not being cool, you're just bothering everyone. It's clear that you don't fit in here so why don't you just drop out before this goes any farther.

I looked up, scowling. The green-eyes met mine nervously. "You write this?" I asked in a cold, hard voice.

"N-no! No, I just…" He defended.

"You just what? Are you the messenger? You just came to deliver it for your coward friends?" I growled.

"I know how the kids in this class can be and I had a feeling they'd do something like this so, as I was saying, I just came to make sure they didn't."

"Did I ask you to be my little knight in shining armor?" I barked, throwing the crumpled note at him. He flinched as it hit the curly tufts of hair and fell to the ground. "I don't need you to protect me, Mr. Hero, so just back off! Do I look weak to you!? Is that what you think!? You thought I would open up their pathetic, snobby, threat and run home crying!? Well you're goddamn wrong! They can come at me with spears and arrows and they won't get even a flinch from me so from now on, get your nose out of my business and stop trying to be a hero!" I yelled, panting a bit.

Midoriya was silent for a few moments, obviously shaken, before slowly lifting his eyes. They were a little wet, as if he might tear up, and his eyebrows were knitted with frustration. "This note was poorly written…" He said in a low voice, picking up the note. He scanned over it with those emerald eyes. "Too many works, it muddles the point. They could have just written 'asshole'." He said, taking the note and walking right past me and out of the room. I stood in complete shock.

Never, in all my life, had some one surprised me so much. I had taken this Midoriya character as a brainwashed, happy-go-lucky, idiot but maybe I was being rash. I had so many mixed emotions. Astonishment, anger, hilarity, respect, and confusion. I turned to look at the door but the boy was gone. Students began to enter the room so I sat down at my desk. Just before the bell rang, the greenette returned and sat down, blatantly ignoring me. I watched him, curious as to who this kid was. I knew he could feel my eyes on him but he still just looked forward. I scoffed with a slight smile. "Jesus Christ…" I muttered.

The day continued. I couldn't be bothered to act up, I was still puzzling over the incident at lunch. Midoriya, this meek, overly-friendly, green-haired cinnamon roll had actually called me an asshole to my face after I went off on him. Unbelievable. I wanted to genuinely laugh and bury my fist in his face at the same time.

The bell dismissed everyone but me. I was ordered to stay a while to speak with the teacher, who informed me that his name was Mr. Mori. Who the fuck cares? I stood in place while he spoke at me but I didn't let any of the words penetrate my ears. When he was done, I picked up my backpack and left. As I walked down the side of the building, I heard sounds I recognized as a fight. I smirked and dropped my bag. That was exactly what I needed right then. As I cracked my neck and back, I imagined pummeling some nobody upperclassmen and blowing off some steam. Sounded like fun.

I loosened my tie as I followed the noises back to a little alcove where the dumpsters were kept. It was a good, hidden, place for a fight. My mood fell a little however when I saw that this wasn't just a good ol' beat-'em-up but a real, actual, beat-up… and that green-haired kid was the one taking all the punches.

"What, are you afraid of the trash, Izuku-kun?" One of the boys asked, pushing Midoriya against the metal dumpster with a thud. Midoriya tried to get his back off the dumpster but the bully was too close and held him there. He seemed so uncomfortable, as if the dumpster was made of scorpions. He wriggled and tried to get away from it, tears in his eyes.

"Prissy boy's too good for our lowly trash, is that it? Man, you must really think you're a god." One of the other aggressors tormented. The third boy took a tied-up plastic bag from the dumpster, left there by a maintenance man, and opened it. Dust, dirt, and little bits of garbage fell on Midoriya. The boy emitted a panicked cry.

"Stop it! Please! Hey! Leave me alone!"

"Mina said you totally flipped out when she dropped some natto on your shoe on accident. She said you ran away and you even changed your shoes. She was offended, Izuku. You know that? You can't just treat people like that over accidents."

As they tried to hoist the rabidly protesting boy into the trash, I stepped forward, a menacing aura surrounding me. Midoriya's huge, watery, desperate eyes met mine. It was true Midoriya pissed me off but not nearly as much as these guys did. "The fuck do you think you're doing?" I growled.

"Isn't that the new kid?" One of the bullies asked the other. The boss looked at me. "Hey, mind your own business or you're next, new kid." Midoriya was shaking and doing this rough, jerky, twitch thing.

I approached them without hesitation. "If you're so eager to give trash baths, why don't you take one yourself?" I snarled, shoving the boss bully threateningly. He let go of Midoriya and the boy scampered a few feet away. Not another moment passed before the fists were flying. I don't remember much. Just like joggers get a runner's high, I get a fighting high during which all I care about it dodging and punching. It's just a blur of adrenalin, pain, and excitement. I'm not sure how, but those tree boys surely enough ended up in the trash and I was colored black and blue. It felt as good as being on that rooftop, free and empowered.

I looked to where Migoriya stood, a few feet away. We looked at each other in silence for a minute before I finally spoke up. "So… yer scared of natto, then?" I asked with a smirk. He knitted his eyebrows again.

"No."

"Then why are you still standing here?"

"I can't move." He replied, his voice soft and trembling.

I walked up to him but he didn't back away from me. I got within three inches of his face yet he stood there like a stone, scared stiff. He occasionally convulsed in to sharp, little, twitches. I backed up a bit, realizing that something was actually wrong with him. My curiosity trumped my instinctual ferocity. "Are there ants in your pants? What is it?" I asked.

"The d-dirt. The dirt." He responded. I could hardly hear his response.

"What? The dirt's bothering you?" I was shocked once again by this kid. I felt like laughing because I thought he was joking but from the look in his eyes, I could tell that this was completely real for him. I brushed some of it off his hair and shoulders. "Chill out, come on. You can wash it off, y'know." I watched him but he didn't answer. He was truly petrified.

I was torn. Normally, I would have just walked away or teased him but I felt bad for this kid. It seemed like he really was looking onto the fiery eyes of death. I glanced around to make sure no one was watching before turning my back to him and squatting. "Fine. Get on."

I waited but he didn't move. "I'm not going to pick you up like a goddamn bride so just hop on or I'll leave you here with those guys. They'll be climbing out of that trash any minute now." I growled. Slow, shaking limbs wrapped around my back. I hefted him up and began walking out of the school. There were a few moments of awkward silence between us.

"Thanks." Midoriya finally said.

"I can't stand guys like them. Three against one and not even for a good reason, that's pathetic." I replied. More silence ensued. Then, I heard a small voice mumble against my back.

"yr n n ss hole." It said quietly.

"What are you going on about?"

"You're not an asshole." He said.

That irked me. Who did this kid think he was? Placing titles on me then retracting them as if he were God. "The fuck'd you say?" I snarled.

"You only pretend to be an asshole and I know it. I know your secret."

I ground my teeth. My usual self would throw him off my back and maybe even kick him in the side but, for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to be that Bakugo. "Shut the fuck up."

"I won't tell." He whispered.

I wanted to change the subject, this was such an utterly stupid conversation. "Where's your house?" I asked.

"Just a few blocks in this direction but…"

I sighed in obvious irritation. "But what?"

"But… I want to ask just one more super-duper huge favor from you…"

I was blown away by the balls on this guy. "Oh, I'm sorry, Princess! Is a free ride not enough to satisfy your majesty?" I retorted. His embarrassed silence made me regret my harshness a little. "What is it?" I asked.

"Can I… shower at your place?"

"What? What the hell kind of a request is that!? Are you nuts? Did the dust get in your ears and fry your brain?"

"Don't joke about that." He complained, his twitch worsening at the thought. "I told my mom that the bullying had stopped after her talk with Mr. Mori… she really hates it, it makes her worry a lot. I hate making her so upset." Midoriya admitted.

His sentiments resonated with me. I had worried my folks every day of my life. Maybe that similarity was why I treated Midoriya so differently. "Fine… But you have to be quick and if you ever open your mouth about this to anyone else, I'll throw you back in the trash myself."

I could feel him smiling. "Your secret is safe with me."

For a brief second, I felt the tiniest inclination to raise to corners of my mouth too but I immediately squashed that feeling.

I brought the 90-pound sack of cry-baby back to my apartment with me. Both my parents were at work. If they were home, I never would have agreed to this. They'd make a big deal about it and pester me. I set him down at the front of the door while I dug out my keys. "You can walk on your own now, yeah?" I asked, a little bit of irritation in my voice. I didn't want him getting too chummy.

He nodded and just watched my actions, still twitching. I let him in and showed him to the bathroom. My family was lower middle class, not poor. We still had a TV and electricity and everything, we just had to be a little more conservative with how we used them. Midoriya stood in the bathroom, looking at me with an expression that was hard to read. Gratefulness? Confusion? Admiration? I dunno, but I didn't like it. "Thank-" He began in a gentle voice, interrupted by me closing the bathroom door and rolling my eyes. I sat in the living room and played on my phone. The shower turned on and about fifteen minutes later, it went off. The door creaked open just an inch, causing me to raise my eyes in its direction. "Bakugo?" A hesitant voice asked.

"Are you done yet?" I grumbled.

"I don't have any spare clothes." He replied.

Shit… shit shitty shit. I knew being nice to this kid was just a downhill slope to more and more favors. I didn't really have an option but to fetch him something from my room. 'Why am I lending this kid my clothes? How did it get to this? This is too much friendliness, I don't even like him. I should just kick him out butt-naked, my niceness can only go so far,' I thought as I retrieved a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. I couldn't bring myself to do that. I just wanted him gone now, for the favors to end.

I handed the clothes to the pale hand that protruded from the cracked door, intentionally turning my head away.

"I'll get them back to you tomorrow." He said through the door.

"Fine-" I relented before a realization hit me. "Hey, don't pull them out in the middle of class and make a whole scene! We're not buddy-buddy, okay?"

"Okay, I can return them at lunch, right?"

"Fine. Lunch is fine."

"Where do you eat your lunch?"

"Roof." I replied before realizing that I had given away the location of my private haven. I scowled as the door opened.

"Don't worry, I won't bother you up there." He said as if he could read my mind. I tisked and turned my head away. How did this kid know what I was thinking? "Could I have a plastic bag for my uniform?" he asked.

I couldn't believe the balls on this kid. He had no qualms about asking for favor after favor after favor. I got a shopping bag from the kitchen and shoved it into his hand with obvious irritation. To annoy me even more, he squatted down in front of the uniform as if he intended to pick it up but just ended up staring at it. I snatched the bag from his hands with a growl, packed the uniform in roughly, and put it in his arms. "Time to go home." I demanded. He nodded and left, only putting his feet half way into his sneakers.

"Thanks again, Katsuki." He said a moment before the door slammed. My blood boiled. 'Who does he think he is!? Using my first name like that!? That ballsy little shit! Does he not respect or at least fear me!?'

I was seething as I paced around the apartment. I couldn't focus, I was so confused and enraged over Midoriya. When my mom got home in the evening, she wanted to know all about my day.

"Was your teacher nice?" She asked. "Did the kids treat you well? What about the course work, do you think you can manage it? We could find you a tutor-"

"Mom, I don't need a tutor. It seems fine, okay?" I responded, annoyed.

"Did the shoes fit well?" She asked, setting down a paper bag of fast-food. We ate this kind of food often because it was cheap and quick.

"Yeah." I said.

"I got an email from your school saying that they sent you home with paperwork from the nurse's office. Let's fill it out now before I forget."

I looked around for my backpack before remembering that I had taken it off before the fight and left school without it. I cursed myself internally. "I already filled it out." I lied, keeping my voice casual. I didn't want her to be worried about me getting in trouble… or disappointed by the reality that I was already screwing this up.

"Really? Well, that's very proactive of you, Kaachan, I'm proud of you." She said. Those words should have felt so satisfying but instead, they felt like stones in my stomach. I was going to miss the first homework assignments too. No matter how hard I tried, I always ended up a screw up.

We ate dinner and I lied to my mom again, saying I had already done my homework. I told her I was going to go to school early the next day to get tutored by my teacher on the lessons I'd missed by starting the semester late. The truth was that I was going to try to get my homework done before class. She was so happy with my lies… it made me nauseous. She and Dad were working so hard for me. They always came home tired and even though I told them not to send me to a fancy private school, the did it anyways to try to set me straight. All of it was for me and yet, I always screwed up.

I went to bed early and left for school before either of my parents had woken up. Thankfully, my backpack was still in the bushes. I took it up to the classroom so I would have a quiet place to work but, much to my dismay, the classroom wasn't empty. Far from it, in fact. As soon as I walked in the door, those all-too-familiar emerald eyes looked to me with curiosity. "Katsuki?" Midoriya asked, surprised.

He stood up on a stool with a wet paper towel, washing the white boards. 'Why is he here so early?' I wondered. 'Why do I keep running into him? Is heaven punishing me or is this just bad luck? Why can't I have just one break? And why does he keep calling me Katsuki!?'

He must have noticed my shock and confusion because he was the first to explain himself. "I'm assigned room cleaning duties this week." He said. "Why are you here? Class doesn't start for an hour and a half." I turned to leave, peeved by the informal name and shocked by the coincidence. "Wait!" I heard his feet hop down from the stool to the wooden floor. For some reason unbeknownst to me, my body stopped. "Is that your backpack? You didn't have that yesterday so… did you forget it here?"

"None of your goddamn business." I growled, turning my head to see him in my peripherals.

"It kind of is." He rebuked in a more confident voice. There it was, his ballsy side. The side that both intrigued and infuriated me. "I saw you had it when you left the classroom but when you ca-"

"Shut up!" I barked. "Don't bring that up, you're making me regret ever doing you a favor at all."

Midoriya fed off of my energy. "You had it when you left class and you didn't have it later." His voice was stern and solid now. "So I presume that you forgot it here as a direct result of the favors you did for me. So I'm partially responsible for your unfinished homework."

I sneered. "Is that how you feel?" I unzipped my bag and pulled out the papers. "Then here," I said, thrusting them forward to the slightly surprised Midoriya. "If you're responsible for these being empty, then you should fill them up, right?"

I was sure that prissy little boot-licker would have just agreed but again, he surprised me. "I said partially responsible. You should do it yourself."

I felt a little satisfied in achieving my original intention, doing the work myself, but I also had the sense that I had lost the argument. I grunted bitterly and took my homework to my chair and started working on it. Midoriya finished cleaning the board in silence before approaching my desk and reading over my work. Once I noticed, I protectively covered it with my arms. "Hey, mind your own business!" I snapped.

"If you're trying to reference Matsuo Basho's work there, that would be a good example of a haiku but you've written it incorrectly." He stated softly, not at all fazed by my aggression. "You wrote, 'even a horse arrests my eyes- on this snowy morning' but it should be 'snowy marrow'. It's an easy mistake to make."

Anger boiled in my blood as I peeked under my arms at my paper but he was right. That pissed me off even more. "I though you said I should do it on my own! Now back off!"

Again, it seemed as if my words didn't faze him as he pulled up a chair. "Let me see the rest." He said, that gentle voice returning. He lifted my arms, catching me off guard. While I was stuck in surprise, he took the paper and started reading it. I tried to snatch it back from him but he stood from his seat, moving out of my reach. "You wrote here that 'a dove is like an August bride' is a metaphor but it's actually a slimily."

"Mind your own business! I thought you weren't going to help!" I protested.

"I said I wasn't going to do it for you. I'm partially responsible for you loosing your backpack so I'll take partial responsibility for this work being done correctly. Hand me your pencil, I want to fix something." He said. I tried to snatch the paper back but, in that moment, he swiftly caught my pencil and moved out of my reach again. I followed him as he walked hastily as he read, staying out of my reach. "Oops, you spell playwright with a g" he noted and I chased behind him, trying to grab the paper. He smiled, taking this as a game of keep away.

"Dammit! Give it back! I don't want your help!" I growled, trying and failing again to retrieve the paper.

"I guess I'll fill in this last one for you too since you were almost done." He said with a giggle. That little laugh was the last straw. I finally got him in a corner and pinned him, seizing the paper with a triumphant smile. I panted and looked up, noticing that his green eyes were fixed on me, full of shock and bafflement. A light rosy color ran to his cheeks. Without realizing, I had pinned his body into the corner with my own and our faces were only inches apart. His eyes held me there and for a moment, I lost control of my thoughts.

When I realized the awkward position, I abruptly turned away and went back to my seat. It took Midoriya a minute to regain himself too and he sat down. He cleared his throat. "The answers were mostly right anyways, I really didn't-"

"Shut up." I grumbled.

He didn't make another noise and we sat in silence until students started spilling into the classroom. When I opened the compartment in my desk to check for notes, I saw that there were two new notebooks waiting for an owner. I scowled at Midoriya but he kept looking forward, refusing to acknowledge me.

At lunch, I started towards the roof but paused on the stairs. 'Maybe I shouldn't go up there… I have a feeling he thinks we're friends, I should cut things off now. But hey, what's so wrong with having friends? Then again, the way the blushed this morning… what was that about? Maybe he was just flushed from the chasing. Still, this is weird. I don't want to be friends with him, he's too-…' I couldn't think of a negative quality. 'Uugh! Annoying! Too annoying! Why can't he just mind his own business and leave me alone?'

As I thought this, I continued my climb to the roof, my body betraying my mind. The scene that met me was captured by my eyes in slow motion. The lithe teen stood near the edge of the roof, holding his lunch tray, and looking out at the city with pure comfort, as if the height didn't bother him at all. The wind made his wild olive hair dance in time with the cicada song. As I closed the door behind me, the noise drove him to turn his curious eyes toward me. They were so big and youthful. Naïve, trusting, innocent, and optimistic yet also confident and determined. I felt my heart beat rise into my throat as he offered me a soft smile.

"Katsuki, I brought it." He informed me with a sweet voice, raising the little plastic bag to show me. I'll never understand how or why that boy decided to give me the benefit of the doubt but that choice is what ultimately changed everything about my life.