This is my first songfic so please review

Disclaimer: I don't own the saga of Darren Shan/cirque du freak or the song My Immortal by Evanescence.

Xxx

Why?

Why did you leave me? Was I not god enough for you? Did I mean nothing to you?

I'm so tired of being here

Didn't you love me as I loved you?

Suppressed by all my childish fears

I can't go on without you, but I must. I have to be strong, for the both of us.

And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave

So every night I look out the window to see the stars and I know that you are here with me. If not physically, but spiritually.

'Cause your presence still lingers here. And it won't leave me alone

Every time I close my eyes I see your smiling face and I wish it would just go away. Leave me alone.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real

Why have you caused me this pain? Why did you take away the one and only thing I ever wanted when you had everything? Everything!

There's just too much that time cannot erase

My scars run to deep that time cannot heal them. Nothing can heal them. Not even you.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all these years. But you still have all of me.

You used to captivate me by your resonating life

We completed each other. We were Yin and Yang. Black and white. Night and day.

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

I wish I could have felt your soft pink lips pressed up against my chapped and dried ones at least once before you left me.

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

I wish I could have told you how much I loved you. How much I cared about you. But no. I lost you to that orange haired vampire. In fact, I never truly had you.

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

Now here we are, face to face again. I feel my heart breaking as your eyes go dead and I feel mine die as well.

These wounds won't seem to heal

What have I done? All I wanted was revenge on the vampire. I never meant to hurt you as well.

This pain is just too real

I felt the exact same pain as that you feel right now, for it was the pain I felt when I lost you.

There's just too much that time cannot erase

Now we have met yet again. I know that this will be our final meeting and I have braced myself for death because whether or not you win, I will be dead all the same.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

Through the years I kept telling myself that I hated you. That you disgusted me. But I could never really hate you because I loved you too much.

And though you're still with me I've been alone all along.

And throughout all these years I have pushed away everyone who was close to me or tried to be. I only had room for you in my cold black heart.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me.

So here we are. You on top, and me on the bottom. I don't regret anything that I ever did except for one thing. Hurting you. I feel tears at my eyes as you turn to look at me. I am so captivated by your beauty that I don't feel you release my wrist.

"You were right Steve, I did plot with . I did take your rightful place as a vampire."

His words alight a familiar rage in me. But I keep my calm.

"I can't believe you were stupid enough to believe that you were even worthy of becoming a vampire."

Then, I snap. I lunge at him, dagger in hand. I then stab him repeatedly in the gut where I had I had stabbed him before. I am so focussed with the task at hand that I don't hear the moans and groans of pain that escape his mouth.

Then, I stop. What have I done? I had just killed the only person I had ever loved.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

Then in his last seconds of life, he rolls us over and over until we reach a river. This is it. This is the end. I close my eyes as I feel the icy cold water lick at my skin.

The last thing I see before I die is his face. Although he is scratched up, bruised and bloody, he is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. And even though I know I am damned and will end up in the lake of souls, I am happy because as our last moments of life slip away, I hear him say he loves me. And that is all I could have ever wished for.

Xxx

Hope you liked my fic don't forget to R&R

~Darrene