Stiles wakes up with a jolt. He can hear a familiar sound behind his window. He sighs and clambers out of the bed knowing very well who it is. He stalks to the window lazily rubbing his eyes and feeling rather annoyed to be woken up at – he looks at the digital clock on his bedside table- 3 AM. He has an uneasy feeling when he finally opens the window because he knows that the only reason Derek would be up there this late is if something awful a.k.a deadly has happened. He braces himself for terrible news when he opens up the window. What he doesn't expect is for Derek to almost crash fall through his window right in front of Stile's legs. He is dripping wet from the rain and he is visibly shivering. The first thought Stiles has is that Derek is hurt so he automatically reaches out to him and grips his shoulder, his voice a soft whisper:

"Derek. Derek, are you alright?" he tries to catch Derek's gaze, make him face Stiles but thinks better of it. He likes his throat where it is okay? Derek keeps silent but puts his cheek on Stiles hand which is clasping Derek's shoulder. Stiles' heart clenches and he feels panic rising in the pit oh his stomach. He can sense that something is terribly wrong. He has never seen Derek so vulnerable, so lost and he hates it. He'd rather have him threaten his life and scowling at him. By now he knows it's just a bunch of empty words and that he will never follow through with his threats at least not anymore. They've been through so much together by now and even in the worst moments Derek never looked so broken, so thrown off his game. Weak and exposed. He swallows down the lump forming in his throat and tries again:

"Derek, talk to me. Are you hurt?" he tries to take his hand away from Derek's shoulder so he can turn on the bedside lamp. No werewolf sight, remember? But Derek grabs his hand tighter and squeezes it:

"Please. Don't go" his voice is barely audible. Stiles stiffens in place. He gapes at the older man in front of him and realizes that Derek is crying. He doesn't even have time to think before he sinks to his knees in front of the werewolf.

"I'm not going anywhere, Derek." He puts his free hand on Derek's face and lifts his chin so he's facing him. Derek will probably throw him at every flat surface for that later but he can't find it in himself to care. All that matters is bringing back the Sour wolf. Stiles would give anything for Derek to scowl, yell at him. He would take that anytime. Hell he would let him bash his head in a steering wheel rather than see him this vulnerable, this out of sorts. "Talk to me. What happened?" a sudden realization downs on him and his voice is drowned by horror. He has to take in a few deep breathes before he can find his voice again. "Is the pack okay?" his voice comes out more shaky than he intended when every horrific imagine of what could have happened to them runs through his head. He pleads "Please tell me they are okay?"

"They are fine, Stiles. Can you just keep talking?" Derek looks at him expectantly. If Stiles thought there was something wrong with Derek before, now he is one hundred percent sure he's gone completely crazy.

"Come again? You want me to keep talking? Me?!" Stiles exclaims not being able to hide the surprise and to be fair satisfaction in his voice "That's a first" Derek sighs:

"Please." And wow. Stiles is completely lost because Derek never asks for anything let alone pleads for it and it feels so wrong. He never knew he would miss that Derek who barks orders at you and expects that you will follow them obediently. No questions asked. "Derek, what is going on? You are really starting to scare me, dude" The older man just sighs

"It's the anniversary..." his voice breaks in the middle of the sentence and his shoulders slump even more under Stiles' touch. Stiles doesn't need to hear another word. He understands what anniversary he's talking about and whispers letting Derek know he understands

"The fire." Derek just nods and every motion he makes reeks of misery and before Stiles can register what he is doing, he has his arms wrapped around the werewolf pulling him into a tight embrace. At first Derek stiffens and for a second Stiles expects to be pushed away but after a moment Derek relaxes and leans into the hug.

"Talk. Please" this time Stiles knows better than to question his request and starts babbling about school.

"So yeah yesterday was like the worst day. My chemistry teacher who totally has it out for me – Harris. I think I told you about him? Well you probably didn't even listen to me so." He is interrupted by Derek who sounds hurt by Stiles' words:

"I always listen to you, Stiles" Stiles looks shocked and pleased at the same time. He's used to people getting tired of him and not caring about what he has to say. To most he's just some hyperactive kid who talks too much. It's really nice to know that someone actually listens. Gives a damn even when he is babbling nonsense. Especially when that someone is Derek. He coughs not knowing what to say to that and continues

"Anyway. He gave me detention because apparently I was late to class one second. One second! Can you believe him? I mean he is such a dick. If they gave awards for dickeshness he would win without any competition!" Derek snorts and Stiles takes is at as a good sign so he just keeps on talking

"But wait that's not all. During lunch they ran out of pizza and the only thing left was this weird stew which has some really suspicious looking meat in it and it totally smells like but crack." He lets go of Derek and let's his arms flail around trying to make his point. Derek shudders at the loss of contact and wraps his arms around Stiles' waist. The younger boy fall silent and shifts uncomfortably. He likes this. Way too much to be fair. He likes having Derek's arms around him and he is pretty sure he could get used to having Derek hugging him. Flushed close to his chest. He quickly waves away the thought because this doesn't mean anything. He knows that. Derek just needs comfort, hell he feels exactly the same during his mom's anniversary but at least he has his dad while Derek's all family is gone. There aren't even graves to visit. He tries to blink back tears that are starting to form in his eyes. He is taken aback when Derek finally speaks:

"Laura hated Harris too. She used to prank him all the time" Stiles looks at him incredulously. Derek never talks about his family especially not to him. He can feel warmth spreading in his chest

"Yeah?" Stiles smiles at Derek. His eyes are adjusted to the dark by now and he looks at Derek's face. He can see a smile playing at the corner of his lips. It's a sad one and too familiar to Stiles. It's the smile he wears when talking about his mom. He doesn't get a chance to talk about her as much as he would like to because he doesn't want to hurt his dad and bringing her up in conversation just ends up with his dad drinking a whole bottle of scotch.

"Yeah." Derek nods. "My mom used to be so mad at her for doing it and she would just say that it's making a stand against tyranny" Derek is lost in his memories and Stiles can really relate to the werewolf in his room:

"Your sister sounds awesome. I would have loved her" Stiles offers and Derek nods. He adjusts himself so his head is on Stiles' lap. Stiles is sure that Derek can hear his sharp intake of breath but even if he does he doesn't comment on it and just asks

"This okay?" Stiles nods and Derek continues talking

"She would have loved you too. She used to love comics and she could talk about it for hours. She had a comic reference to every situation in life. She was also very loyal. Once she made a friend there was absolutely nothing she wouldn't do for them. She was the most trust worthy person." Derek swallows and Stiles can see tears running down his cheeks. He puts his hand on the older man's face and wipes it away. Derek looks him straight in the eye and just stares for a moment, searching his face. "She was like you." Derek mutters. Stiles smiles warily trying not to start crying himself at how sad Derek's life is. What a huge burden he has to carry around with no one to help him. It's awful to think how much he has lost. He's only 24 and he has already lost every single person he has ever loved, he has been betrayed more times than anyone else. No wonder he is always so broody and angry. There aren't a lot of people who could deal with so much crap and keep on going. It seems like Derek guessed what he is thinking about because he suddenly says

"I'm not strong you know. After the fire, I wanted to die. I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. The only reason I kept on living was Laura because I couldn't take the last family she had away not after I've already taken the rest" Stiles' heart clenches because that is not true.

"No." He says firmly and Derek looks at him puzzled. "Derek, it wasn't your fault. You have to understand that. It was Kate, a sick twisted woman. A psychopath."

"Who I let in, Stiles" Derek looks away from him guilt pouring through every pour in his skin.

"Derek, look at me" he demands. "You didn't know she was a psychopath. You thought she cared about you; you were young, foolish and naive. You believed her, anyone would have. If she hadn't gotten inside through you she would have found another way." Derek opens his mouth to protest but Stiles continues "I know how it feels to blame yourself, to feel responsible. Believe me. I do. I blamed myself for my mom's death for so long. When I saw her lying in the hospital bed all I could think of was that maybe if I had been a better kid, if I didn't have ADHD, if I was just a normal kid she wouldn't be there. That maybe if I was never born she would be okay. " He can feel his own tears running down his face. One falls on Derek's lips and he reaches to touch Stile's face

"But it wasn't your fault" he reassures Stiles, his eyes locked on Stiles' face willing him to believe that and the teen smiles

"No it wasn't. I know that now. The fire wasn't your fault either. I get that you don't want to believe it, that you can't believe it because you need someone to blame and even though it sounds like the lamest advice you have to let it go. Kate is dead. The person who did this to you, to your family is dead, Derek. If you don't let go, that means she wins. That means she got what she wanted. You can't let that happen." Stiles looks Derek in the eye, he wants him to believe it, hell he needs him to believe it. He needs his Sourwolf to be okay. Derek opens his mouth to say something but then closes it again. Stiles can see he is trying to find a flaw in his logic but he can't. He looks at Stiles wide eyed and says

"Thank you." The teen laughs

"Anytime, Sourwolf." Derek gives him a strange look, the one he always gives before crowding Stiles against the wall and making empty threats. Stiles is pretty sure he's about to be thrown into a wall. Instead Derek's hand curls around his neck and he pushes Stiles' face closer to his. Derek gently presses his lips on Stile's and loosens his grip giving Stiles a choice to back away if he wants to. As IF. The teen hungrily fists his hands into Derek's shirt and deepens the kiss. Derek sighs happily and licks his way between Stiles' parted lips. Stiles let's out an involuntary moan. Derek grins and backs away a bit. The asshole.

"Stay?" Stiles pleads because he's too afraid that if he lets Derek go it will turn out to be yet another dream. Derek smiles sheepishly.

"Always."