"Hey Dad."
The blond sighed as he nudged a tuff of grass with the toe of his shoe, watching as some of the roots snapped and the tuff fell on its side. He slowly raised his head up from where it'd been bowed to stare at the gravestone lying in front of him, the words Jacob Wheeler followed by a date of birth and death scrawled underneath.
"Haven't been to see you in… in a long long time so I thought… why not today!"
He mustered up a grin as his hands nervously fell down to play with the loose threads of his fathers old hoodie. He used to wear it all the time when he was at home, giving up the stupid suits he'd wear to work in favor for this rag tag piece of cloth. Joey still remembered when he used to crawl into it when he was younger, snuggling up to his father while sticking his head through the head hole, making it so big that it would hang halfway down his fathers chest when the boy wasn't in it.
"Mum says hi, wanted me to bring you these roses."
Ignoring the cold that came rushing through the oversized shirt when he bent down, Joey placed said roses on the grave with a small smile, stroking the leaves before he pulled away. He stood in silence for a while, not knowing what to say to his father. The thought of a man in his early twenties, standing over his fathers grave in said fathers old hoodie with nothing to say made him laugh inside for a moment, despite there not really being a humorous side to it.
"I guess I'll just cut to the chase really. I… I've met someone."
Joey smiled as those words came tumbling out, and he suddenly couldn't hold it all back. He wanted to just tell his Dad everything.
"Do you remember Seto Kaiba? I hadn't seen him since… well since graduation really! I remember you meeting him actually, after the party at Yugi's when he offered to drop me home instead of making you come pick me up. You thought he was nice, cold with some obvious issues, but nice."
Another grin.
"I remember his face when you gave him your card and told him to come see you if things got too hard. He told me he did once, and that you were the best psychologist he'd ever had, but he just didn't know if it was worth seeing one just yet. He was contemplating going back when you… when you…"
Joey sighed as the 'd' word refused to come of his mouth, so he just skipped past it, continuing on.
"He came to your funeral, although you might already know that. I was… kinda happy. I mean, he was the first one of any of my, well I don't know if you could consider him a friend but in a way he was… well he was the first guy that you allowed to call you by your first name when you first met him. Tristan never got there, and it took even Yugi months to be given that privilege, and you liked him! Anyway… he came and it really, really meant a lot ya know? And after the service he came up with Mokuba and… well he gave me a hug! The Great Seto Kaiba, gave the mutt a hug. Then he went ahead and offered me a place to stay if everything became too much."
The blond laughed suddenly. In hindsight, it wasn't really that hard to understand why Seto and his father got along. They were both so intelligent, and it seemed as if they could read the future in some odd and weird way.
"I don't know how he knew, but it really did get too hard. I'm sure you remember the last time I came here, ya know when I turned up here as a blithering mess a couple of years ago. Afterwards… well I went to see if his offer still stood and to say it simply, it did."
A small smile appeared and Joey knew his expression was slightly dreamy.
"He was so nice Dad, it was really odd. He made sure I was comfortable, said kind words, hell! He even held me when I cried! A few times I even snuck into his room in the middle of the night and he just let me sleep there! First few times when we woke up it was awkward, but then we got used to it and eventually I would just go straight to his room when I went to bed. Its weird how Mokuba never questioned what was happening, even though sometimes I had to wrestle the kid to see who'd get Seto that night. He'd get nightmares, and I guess Seto's always been that father figure for him."
He was sitting on the ground now, playing with the tuff of grass he'd half destroyed before as he continued talking. It was so… good to finally talk about it.
"We eventually became a thing, not that we couldn't see it coming. I mean, who sleeps in the same bed with a guy -while cuddling!- for a couple of months and doesn't expect to growing feelings if not fall madly in love with said guy? I mean, I'm not that smart but I'm not delusional!"
The laugh was a genuine one this time, and blond hair flew as Joey shook his head.
"I got asked the other day by Tristan and the others what I saw in him, no one could really understand. But I mean, how can they judge me? Tristan's shagging Duke for crying out loud! And then when I did try to explain... I dunno... I just couldn't put it all into words."
He sighed and yanked out a piece of grass rather viciously, before twirling it between his fingers as he stared at the sky.
"They were asking for what, not why. And it just wouldn't come out."
Another laugh.
"I'm probably boring you Dad, but you always did like a good brain teaser didn't you? The other question they asked was… how do I feel about him. And I really don't know the answer to that. I mean, I do like the guy… a lot… but I don't know. Love? Thats really what they were hinting at."
His fingers found the threads on the hoodie, ditching the now twisted beyond repair grass blade on the ground.
"Its the little things really. The little things I love… I mean, I do like the other things. I like how he's rich, and handsome and… well he's Kaiba. But I love other things. I love how he… how he's really so cuddly, and that he likes to just snuggle up to me with a hot chocolate and read a book or watch a movie. I love how he hums when he thinks no one is listening, and I love how they're all the old songs from the 80's right through to the blimin' 40's! The type that you used to listen to, and the type you used to swing me around the lounge too. He did that once, and he does it every now and again still. He even lets me stand on his feet so I don't trip and fall over. Another thing I love really, no matter what, he's always there to break my fall."
Joey was grinning madly now, his eyes twinkling as more thoughts about Seto ran through his head, and he could barely get them all out one at a time for his father to hear.
"I love how he has to redo all his work on his computer, because he doodles all over everything he writes on paper. I love how he's so protective of his books, and will honestly attempt to murder anyone who disrespects one. I love the fact he's so bad at cooking, yet is so brilliant at baking. Honestly Dad, you would love his banana choc chip muffins, they're to die for. I love how he always walks around with dog treats in his pocket, feeding them to every dog he sees, and he always gives more to the homeless dogs. I love how he takes those dogs, and sometimes cats, home, and if he doesn't keep them, and trust me he would if he could, he finds them all loving homes. I love how he sends out his bodyguards once a week to drop an envelope of money into every poverty ridden house he knows about."
It surprised the blond when he felt a few tears leak down his face. Was he really getting this emotional?
"Its the even the personal things he does for others that not many know about. I love the fact that… that he somehow managed to use his brain to bring Noah back, repairing his step brothers body and mind just for Mokuba. I love how he introduced Serenity to Leon, so that the two would be happy. I love how he finally accepted Yami as his cousin, despite them not really being related, and that he understood that Yami just couldn't let Seth go. How he accept the 'Nerd Herd' as friends, just for me so I'd be happy with all my friends and him at once."
His hands tightened into fists.
"I love the way… Dad, I love the way he always tucks Mokuba in at night, no matter the time or how old Mokie is. How he's so much of a father to Mokie, yet still a brother. I love how he always holds my hand when we cross the street. I love how he still likes to cuddle up to his old blue eyes soft toy his own, real father gave to him when he was five. I really love how he takes that toy and crawls under the bed when there are thunderstorms, and I love how he's so terrified of them, and that he actually does have fears like every other person. I love how he will never leave the house without a goodbye kiss, and he'll never go to sleep without a goodnight one. How he always has that cinnamon smell around him, and how his eyes always seem to still be so warm while being so icy."
Now the tears were streaming down his face, and he reached out to touch his fathers gravestone, wishing it was his hand instead.
"I love how he wants a family, children and marriage. And I love how, despite the idea that I can never give him any one of those two, he still holds on to me and never wants to let me go. Even when I try to make him let go, find a nice girl to settle down with, his stupid stubbornness will never let me go. Never. And it feels so good to know that there is someone out there that will never ever let me go, never leave me, not even for their most prized dream like children and marriage."
He started to stand up, his heart clenching as he reread over his fathers name again, wishing his father was alive, and hadn't been killed.
"I still hate myself for going into those gangs, and leaving them. If I hadn't then you wouldn't have been killed as my punishment. I still wish you'd let them kill me instead, especially when you and Mum were getting back together finally and you were helping so many people with your business. But… I'm starting to understand why you did it. Doesn't mean I don't still miss you."
He glanced up at the sky, seeing that it was starting to get dark, and that he needed to start heading home soon. Seto was waiting for him, waiting to give him the much needed hug he was going to crave as he cried his eyes out on his lovers chest.
"He's helping me get through your death. It may have been five years, but it still feels like it was yesterday that you were smiling at me as you walked out the front door with a stupid rainbow beanie on your head to fight off the cold, and wearing my rainbow scarf since you couldn't find yours to go get me some chocolate. You and your bribes. I wish I'd known what you'd wanted me to do. I would've done it, I did everything you asked. I loved you Dad."
He sighed.
"I still do. And I miss you more than anything in this world."
His hands traveled from where they'd been against the cold slab of granite into his pocket, diving into the warmth they craved. It was too cold now, and it was time to leave, despite the idea of leaving his father was too hard for him to bare. But he rolled his shoulders and began to walk away, pausing once and looking back.
"We're adopting a boy. His name is Jacob… and I can tell he's going to be just like Seto. Just like you."