Diclaimer: I own nothing, not Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings or
whatever else I have made fun of in this story.
"Hello tosa allsa of yousa. Mesa called Jar Jar Binks and mesa will besa yoursa bingo announcer forsa the "Fictional Characters Bingo Night." To thesa left wesa have our judges, Chewbacca and C-3P0"
At the table C-3PO is chattering in gibberish and Chewbacca is attempting to rip is head off
"Now, letsa meet our contestants. First up, from Middle Earth, the brave, sometimes girly, ring bearing Hobbit, FRODO BAGGINS OF THE SHIRE! and his teammate, the ruggedly handsome, extraordinarily sexy, ARAGRON, SON OF ARATHORN!"
Cheers and hoots erupt from the audience. A slightly plump hobbit stands up and yells, "I LOVE YOU FRODO!"
Frodo blushes, blows kisses and yells, "I love you too, Samwise the Brave!"
"Oh my god," remarks Aragorn, "Why am I here? Who convinced me to do this?"
"Anywho!!" snorts out Jar Jar, "Don't you want to meet the next team?"
"Not really," replies Frodo, "If they don't come, WE WIN!"
"Whosa cares about yousa? Now, from my home universe, May isa present the father and son team ANAKIN AND LUKE SKYWALKER!!!
They storm on stage. Anakin pulls out his lightsaber and beats the crap out of Jar Jar. The crowd cheers and soon endless, deafening cheers can be heard from every street, shop and household throughout the world, no, the galaxy.
"GO DADDY GO!" cries Luke.
"TAKE THAT YOU UGLY GUNGAN!! I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY! YOUR WERE ALWAYS MAKING EYES AT PADMÈ!"
Strong bodygaurds borrowed from the Jerry Springer show come out and tear Anakin off Jar Jar.
"And my name isn't Anakin! It's Vader,"
Finally the crisis is solved and Jar Jar is carried off in a stretcher and the EMH (Emergency Medical Hologram, that is) from Star Trek Voyager takes the stage, "Sorry about that. I will be your new host. Anyway, let's begin the game. Contestants, get your cards ready. Ewoks, AKA the slave labour, bring the ball machine.
Several cute ewoks in chains bring out the cool spinny ball machine with the bingo numbers. The doctor spins and pulls out one of the super powered balls. (A/N haha inside joke)
"And the first number is B-59."
"Aha!" cries Vader, "We have that number!"
Aragorn peeks over at his card, "No, you don't! Stupid!"
Vader waves his hand, "Yes, we do."
"You think you're some kind of Jedi waving your hand around like that. Mind tricks don't work on me; I'm in the fellowship." Says Aragorn.
All of a sudden Frodo shrieks with glee! "Aragorn, we have B-59! YIPPEE!!" he dabs the box with his bright pink bingo dabber.
"Yeah! GO FRODO! I love you!" cries Sam from the audience.
"Okay," cries the holographic host, "Next number, under the N, three hundred and seventy point six repeating!"
The contestants giddily check their cards and Frodo is delighted when Aragorn tells him he had the number and he can make another spot of bright pink on their card. The father and son team each pull out purple lightsabers when they see their numbers and slash across the box.
"Next number, under the I, Pi!"
"Huh?"
"What?"
"We get pie! Oh goody! Can it be cherry?" giggles Frodo.
"Yeah," says Luke, "with little whip cream flowers on top!"
"NO YOU IDIOTS!!" screams the doctor, "Haven't you heard of Pi, 3.1415926541.! The relation of the circle's circumference to its radius and diameter!"
"Okay, that's nice!" says Aragorn, "No one has it so please move on!"
"Okay, moving on!"
And so the game continued with giggles and lots of pink marks and lightsaber flashes! And finally.
"BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHA! I WIN! GO TEAM LUKE!!!! YIPPEE!!!!"
Chewbacca and C-3P0, the judges, go over to check his card.
"ROAR! ROAR" protests Chewie and shakes his head.
"I'm terribly sorry Master Luke, but my Wookie friend is right. You do not have a bingo," says C-3P0.
Aragorn peeks over, "Yeah, stupid! You have to have them all in a row."
And so the game continued and eventually. "BINGO!!!!! I HAVE A BINGO!!!! A REAL ONE!!!!!!!! Not a fake Luke one!!!!" screams Aragorn.
The judges come over and sure enough Aragorn has a real life bingo! The roof opens up and silver balloons come pouring out. Neon lights flash everywhere and happy victory music plays in the background.
Frodo and Aragorn hug and cheer and Frodo giggles. Sam runs out from the audience and umm.ahem...'congratulates'. Frodo!
"Well folks," says the doctor, "It's been a fun night and I hope you all tune in next week when Picard and Kirk take on Janeway and Sisko in a Captain's game of bingo."
The End
"Hello tosa allsa of yousa. Mesa called Jar Jar Binks and mesa will besa yoursa bingo announcer forsa the "Fictional Characters Bingo Night." To thesa left wesa have our judges, Chewbacca and C-3P0"
At the table C-3PO is chattering in gibberish and Chewbacca is attempting to rip is head off
"Now, letsa meet our contestants. First up, from Middle Earth, the brave, sometimes girly, ring bearing Hobbit, FRODO BAGGINS OF THE SHIRE! and his teammate, the ruggedly handsome, extraordinarily sexy, ARAGRON, SON OF ARATHORN!"
Cheers and hoots erupt from the audience. A slightly plump hobbit stands up and yells, "I LOVE YOU FRODO!"
Frodo blushes, blows kisses and yells, "I love you too, Samwise the Brave!"
"Oh my god," remarks Aragorn, "Why am I here? Who convinced me to do this?"
"Anywho!!" snorts out Jar Jar, "Don't you want to meet the next team?"
"Not really," replies Frodo, "If they don't come, WE WIN!"
"Whosa cares about yousa? Now, from my home universe, May isa present the father and son team ANAKIN AND LUKE SKYWALKER!!!
They storm on stage. Anakin pulls out his lightsaber and beats the crap out of Jar Jar. The crowd cheers and soon endless, deafening cheers can be heard from every street, shop and household throughout the world, no, the galaxy.
"GO DADDY GO!" cries Luke.
"TAKE THAT YOU UGLY GUNGAN!! I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY! YOUR WERE ALWAYS MAKING EYES AT PADMÈ!"
Strong bodygaurds borrowed from the Jerry Springer show come out and tear Anakin off Jar Jar.
"And my name isn't Anakin! It's Vader,"
Finally the crisis is solved and Jar Jar is carried off in a stretcher and the EMH (Emergency Medical Hologram, that is) from Star Trek Voyager takes the stage, "Sorry about that. I will be your new host. Anyway, let's begin the game. Contestants, get your cards ready. Ewoks, AKA the slave labour, bring the ball machine.
Several cute ewoks in chains bring out the cool spinny ball machine with the bingo numbers. The doctor spins and pulls out one of the super powered balls. (A/N haha inside joke)
"And the first number is B-59."
"Aha!" cries Vader, "We have that number!"
Aragorn peeks over at his card, "No, you don't! Stupid!"
Vader waves his hand, "Yes, we do."
"You think you're some kind of Jedi waving your hand around like that. Mind tricks don't work on me; I'm in the fellowship." Says Aragorn.
All of a sudden Frodo shrieks with glee! "Aragorn, we have B-59! YIPPEE!!" he dabs the box with his bright pink bingo dabber.
"Yeah! GO FRODO! I love you!" cries Sam from the audience.
"Okay," cries the holographic host, "Next number, under the N, three hundred and seventy point six repeating!"
The contestants giddily check their cards and Frodo is delighted when Aragorn tells him he had the number and he can make another spot of bright pink on their card. The father and son team each pull out purple lightsabers when they see their numbers and slash across the box.
"Next number, under the I, Pi!"
"Huh?"
"What?"
"We get pie! Oh goody! Can it be cherry?" giggles Frodo.
"Yeah," says Luke, "with little whip cream flowers on top!"
"NO YOU IDIOTS!!" screams the doctor, "Haven't you heard of Pi, 3.1415926541.! The relation of the circle's circumference to its radius and diameter!"
"Okay, that's nice!" says Aragorn, "No one has it so please move on!"
"Okay, moving on!"
And so the game continued with giggles and lots of pink marks and lightsaber flashes! And finally.
"BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHA! I WIN! GO TEAM LUKE!!!! YIPPEE!!!!"
Chewbacca and C-3P0, the judges, go over to check his card.
"ROAR! ROAR" protests Chewie and shakes his head.
"I'm terribly sorry Master Luke, but my Wookie friend is right. You do not have a bingo," says C-3P0.
Aragorn peeks over, "Yeah, stupid! You have to have them all in a row."
And so the game continued and eventually. "BINGO!!!!! I HAVE A BINGO!!!! A REAL ONE!!!!!!!! Not a fake Luke one!!!!" screams Aragorn.
The judges come over and sure enough Aragorn has a real life bingo! The roof opens up and silver balloons come pouring out. Neon lights flash everywhere and happy victory music plays in the background.
Frodo and Aragorn hug and cheer and Frodo giggles. Sam runs out from the audience and umm.ahem...'congratulates'. Frodo!
"Well folks," says the doctor, "It's been a fun night and I hope you all tune in next week when Picard and Kirk take on Janeway and Sisko in a Captain's game of bingo."
The End