Covered
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.
"You have to preside over a trial, write a speech for the knighting ceremony tomorrow, go on a date with Gwen-" Merlin wriggled his eyebrows with a lopsided grin on his face, "-change some conditions on the peace treaty with Druids, and bathe."
The king groaned at the list of things to do. Why did he always have to do so much? Well, you are the king of Camelot... At least he and Gwen could have some time alone together, with the exception of Merlin being there.
"Hurry up and finish your breakfast! You're going to be late for the trial!"
Arthur finished eating and dashed out the door- not before giving his poor servant a list of chores to finish- to the throne room, where they will hold the trial.
An hour later, Arthur emerged from the throne room, and went into the council room, where he worked on the peace treaty. After the king finished with the peace treaty, he went back to his bedchambers, and finished the list of things to do, other than the date with Gwen.
The sun was starting to set when the three of them went out to the forest. Merlin was just set the picnic up, and went about exploring the woods until he was called to do something. This is how it was during most of their dates, Merlin didn't want to get in the way of his master's date.
"Gwen?" Arthur asked, looking towards where his servant had gone.
"Yes?"
"Have you ever seen Merlin without a shirt on?"
Gwen looked confused by what he was getting at. "No."
"Have you ever seen him without his neckerchief?"
Again, she said no.
"Have you ever seen him wearing short sleeves, or with his sleeves rolled up?"
"No."
"How about with shorts on?"
"No. Arthur, what's this about?"
After making sure the man he was talking about wasn't around, he answered, "I'm wondering why he's always so covered. Even I haven't seen him without a shirt on or anything like that."
Exasperated, Gwen said, "Really, Arthur? Why would that matter? Do you think he's trying to keep a secret from you? You know he's terrible at lying."
That was a good point. Why would that matter to him? Either way, it seemed weird to him.
"Sometimes when we go on camping trips, we swim in lakes, or bathe in rivers. Merlin never joins us."
Gwen furrowed a brow. "Honestly, did it ever occur to you that Merlin might not know how to swim or even like swimming?"
Good point again. Still, all the others went swimming, and most of his trusted group of knights/friends were commoners at one point. It didn't seem to likely that Merlin just didn't know how to swim.
They dropped that conversation topic and talked about other things. The sun had set, and Merlin came back to clean up. Then, they all returned to the castle.
The next day, Merlin was getting an uncomfortable feeling from his master, who kept staring at him. After about an hour, he couldn't take it anymore.
"Sire?"
Arthur seemed to break away from whatever thoughts he was having. "Yes, Merlin?"
"Why do you keep staring at me?"
He didn't realize Merlin noticed it. Maybe he should just ask his servant outright? No, he'll tiptoe around it and see if Merlin slips something out.
"I was wondering-"
"Be careful. You don't want to overwork your brain, given how little you use it."
Rolling his eyes and hiding a smile, Arthur started again. "I was wondering if you liked swimming."
"Not really. I prefer dry land."
"You should probably try to master the art of moving on it then."
Merlin was always quick to respond to jabs like these.
"Whatever do you mean? I am as graceful as a swan!" he joked. In all honesty, he overcame his clumsiness as he gained control over his magic. There was so much magic inside him that it left him clumsy, like with the changeling. He realized that he should keep up the act of being a fool to throw any suspicion off him. And Merlin was a great actor.
"Is there anything else, Sire?" Merlin asked.
"We're going on a hunting trip in two days. Inform the Knights of the Roundtable."
He smiled at that name. It was very literal, since those knights all sat at a round table. With a nod, he left the room and performed his duties.
oOo
Merlin hated hunting. He didn't like to kill defenseless animals when they didn't need too. Whenever he voiced his thoughts, Arthur called him a girl's petticoat, so he didn't and just did as told. Every once in a while, he would pretend to trip to scare animals away. Either way, they ended up with a few catches, and was going to stay there overnight.
All the men gathered around the campfire, full from supper. They started talking about battle wounds. Scars.
"I got this one," Leon pointed to a jagged cut across his rib-cage, "from fighting a group of bandits. That was one sharp knife."
Arthur showed a slash on his neck. "Got this one from when a thief tried to use me as a hostage in order to get away."
Percival showed his next. "I got this one from fighting some smugglers."
Elyan pointed to a small scar on his arm. "I got this when I fought a wild boar."
Gwaine, being Gwaine, showed a scar on his back, and explained, "I got this one from when I didn't pay the innkeeper for the money I owed. It was a hell of a fight."
They all turned to Merlin. "Do you have any scars?", Arthur asked.
Merlin went rigid. Controlling himself, he smiled and said, "Not yet."
They kept talking until they were too tired to stay awake. The group went to sleep, though Merlin went to sleep earlier than the rest.
Apparently, life doesn't like to let Merlin sleep long. He awoke suddenly, sensing a centaur nearby. Slowly, he got up and went towards the source.
The centaur was a little upset to be bothered by someone while hunting for food. In fact, the centaur was so upset that he decided to charge and kick him.
Merlin dodged immediately, but wasn't able to escape an arrow that hit his side. Great. Two centaurs. He didn't like it, but did what he had to do. Standing up with no fear whatsoever, he pushed out his palm and sent a blast of magic at them.
They were still alive. He couldn't let them stay that way, so he uttered a few words and the two turned to ash. Merlin then proceeded to blow wind, and scattered the ash across the forest floor.
Now that the threat was taken care of, he lifted his shirt to get a better look at the wound. The arrow was embedded pretty deep, and this would not feel good. Even so, he grasped the arrow and tugged it out, letting his blood flow freely. After taking a good breath, he made a fire erupt from his hand and cauterized the wound. Merlin clenched his jaw and other hand to prevent himself from screaming from the pain. Finished attending to his wound, he went back to camp to sleep, not that he would get much of it.
oOo
Merlin woke up far earlier than he would have liked because his master decided to force him to. Mumbling about clot-poles and wanting to sleep more, he prepared breakfast for the group. They decided to stay there another night, since the view was nice. There was a pretty lake nearby where they could swim and bathe, though Merlin wouldn't do so.
After everyone ate, and Merlin, as always, cleaned it up, the knights decided to go swimming. They all stripped down and jumped into the cool water, which was very refreshing, given the relentless summer heat beating down on them. Merlin busied himself collecting some herbs for Gaius.
"Merlinnn" Gwaine called.
"What?"
"Come join us!"
"Nah."
"Why not?"
"I don't like swimming."
"Spoilsport."
Arthur was laughing at the hopeless idea of Merlin swimming, when he remembered something Merlin had said after Will had died.
"Will and I use to swim all the time when we were younger. Sometimes, if the weather wasn't at freezing temperatures, we went in during the winter. It was so fun. I love swimming."
There was something more to this. He was quite surprised and unsettled at how easily Merlin lied. Maybe he could make them all play a game at night. Yes. That would be a great idea.
After they were done their fun and Merlin had a basket full of fresh herbs for Gaius, Merlin started cooking the game they caught. As night settled on them, Gwaine suggested they play a game.
"Alright, but what?" Leon asked.
Arthur let a mischievous grin come across his face as he answered, "Truth or Dare."
Everyone nodded their consent and so the game ensued.
Percival was first to ask.
"Gwaine, truth or dare?"
"Dare."
He sat thinkig for a bit, before an idea came to him.
"I dare you to dance in the water."
Gwaine didn't seem unwilling in the slightest as he entered the lake and began what looked like a one person waltz. He had everyone in hysterics by the time he finished.
Now, it was Gwaine's turn.
"Elyan, truth or dare?"
After thinking for a moment, he replied, "Truth."
"When was the first time you got drunk?"
Of course Gwaine would ask this.
"14. I stole my dad's drink, thinking it was just tea. It really wasn't."
"Percival, truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Why do you wear short sleeved chainmail?"
A look of relief flashed over his face. "It's because I'm really big, and my muscles move more freely with out sleeves."
Looking at the remaining three, he chose Leon.
"Leon, truth or dare?"
"Dare!"
"I dare you to climb a tree and meow like a cat... For five minutes."
Complying with the order, he climbed a tree and started to meow. Soon five minutes passed and Leon had trouble getting down. After he got down, everyone started to laugh at the irony.
When they stopped laughing, Leon asked, "Arthur, truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"I dare you to eat 10 insects."
Although none of them wanted to do it, they wanted to see their king do it. So he got up and began to look around for insects. He ate 3 ants, 3 worms, 2 flies, and 1 cockroach. It was quite obvious how much he disliked the experience.
It was worth it for Arthur, because he could now force Merlin to tell the truth.
"Merlin."
"Yes?"
"Truth or dare?"
Merlin hesitated for a few moments. If he chose truth, he would probably have to say something embarassing. If he chose dare, he would probably have to do something embarassing.
Making up his mind, he answered, "Truth."
Arthur was ecstatic, although he would have made him do the same thing no matter what he chose.
"Why don't you swim with us?"
Merlin was taken aback by the question.
"I told you, I don't like to-"
"You're not supposed to lie when asked for the truth. You told me you loved swimming," he paused to emphasize his point, "Why don't you swim with us?"
Everyone stopped snickering at what Arthur did and paid their full attention to Merlin now. He felt trapped. What kind of lie could he come up with that sounds truthful?
Gwaine was the one to say something first. "Oh, I get it," Merlin's eyes became alarmed, "You're shy."
Now, everybody started to laugh, even Merlin. Maybe he could work off of that lie.
When the laughter died down again, Merlin had a new response in mind. Not that good of one though. "I like to keep myself fully clothed when in other people's company."
Arthur snorted in disbelief. "Merlin. Stop being such a girl!"
Then, one by one, each of the men, turned towards Merlin, smiles on their faces. Very unsettling smiles. Like they were planning something. Oh, they better not actually be thinking of-
"ATTACK!" Arthur yelled.
The men pinned the unsuspecting Merlin down and forcibly started to remove his shirt. He used all of his strength to wriggle free, but got taken down immediately. They pulled Merlin's shirt over his head, laughing at the way he was reacting. The laughing came to an abrupt halt.
Using their shock to his advantage, he got out of their grip and covered his chest with his arms. He felt very exposed. All the scars littering his upper body, being displayed for his friends to see. At least they didn't know he had more, on his legs.
Gwaine was the first the recover from the shock. "No scars my ass."
"So this is why you didn't want to swim," Percival whispered.
"How the hell did you get all these? I've seen retired knights with half the scars you have!" Arthur yelled.
Merlin willed himself to look down at his bare chest and arms. Small scars covered the surface. A few deep gashes were strewn about here and there. His wrists had the marks of the manacles he so often found himself in. The most peculiar feature must have been the burn mark on his chest. At least they didn't see his back.
The moment he thought that, an audible gasp came from Elyan, followed by Leon. They turned Merlin around, too quick for him to resist.
None of them spoke. They couldn't, looking at what they saw.
A serket sting, sword slashes, the clear mark of whips, scratches that could only have come from creatures of nightmares, arrow marks, and the inevitable white scars.
If you looked close enough, you'd notice a chain-like pattern going around Merlin, and obvious sign he was bound very tightly.
Percival noticed what seemed to be a fresh wound on Merlin's side, cleverly covered by his arm. He moved Merlin's arm aside to see it. An arrow wound. Extremely fresh. Fresh enough that you could see the blackened skin, an obvious sign of cauterizing. It looked like he couldn't have gotten it more than a day ago.
Softly, he asked, "When did you get this one?"
Merlin looked over and froze. After considering his words carefully, he said, "Not more than a week ago. I just- I just- ummm- I just tripped and landed on a piece of glass."
Elyan was now looking at the wound too. "Merlin. I know it's an arrow wound, and that you couldn't have gotten it over a few days ago. What happened?"
His face darkened. Those eyes that were usually filled with irritating amounts of joy were now filled with pain and sorrow. They looked old, as if they had seen to much to belong on the face of such a young man.
"It doesn't matter. The threat is gone, and we are all alive."
"Threat? What threat?" Leon asked.
"A dangerous one, but it's dealt with and can't harm anyone, ever again."
"You don't mean-" Gwain started.
"Yes. I killed them."
"Them? There was more than one?"
"There were two, I would prefer not to talk about it, or the other ones."
"Please, tell us the story of at least one of those scars," Arthur pleaded.
He didn't want to. He didn't want to remember it, the physical pain and emotional pain; how he could have saved and spared some, but didn't; how most of the time, he nearly failed; how he faced death so much that it didn't even scare him anymore.
They're my friends. They deserve to know.
He nodded slowly and thought about which one he would talk about. After silent deliberation, he decided to tell them of the scar above his heart.
"A long time ago, before I moved to Camelot, I lived in a village called Ealdor. The reason I left was that... I didn't fit in. I only had one friend, a great one at that, and all the villagers were afraid of me. My mother always protected me, but they still called me a bastard. They weren't wrong. My mom and dad never married, and I didn't get to have a father in my life. No one to teach me how to defend myself.
Anyways, I was in the forest, keeping to myself, when a small group of people attacked me. They were all around my age, if not a year or two older. I struggled against them but I couldn't win. They meant to kill me.
They decided that it would be better for the village if I were dead. The oldest one, 16 years maybe, took out a knife and ran at me with it, but just as he started to stab it in, he got knocked out. In fear, they all left and never came back."
As he finished his tale, Merlin looked at the group and expected them to run from him, like others did. He was preparing himself to run when Arthur spoke up.
"I'm sorry this happened to you, Merlin."
The others nodded their head in agreement.
"How old- were you when this happened?" Gwaine asked.
Taking a deep breath, he replied, "I was 11."
Everyone was shocked. How could anyone try to kill an 11 year old? Why did they do it?
Elyan decided to ask what they all wanted to. "Why? Why did they attack you?"
The guilt, self-pity, self-loathing, and fear; horrible, absolute fear, in Merlin's eyes broke his heart. It broke all of their hearts. He shook his head.
"I can't."
"Why not?" Percival coaxed.
"You'd all hate me."
Merlin felt tears roll down his cheeks. He couldn't stop it.
"Ne we wouldn't. We're your friends. We could never hate you."
Merlin scoffed bitterly. "That's debatable."
The whole group went on their knees. "Please," they begged in unison.
"No. I couldn't live with your rejection. I couldn't live with the hate you would bestow upon me. I couldn't deal with the fact that you wouldn't hesitate to kill me if I told you."
At this point, it was as if a dam broke, and all Merlin's emotions spilled out.
Arthur noticed something on Merlin's wrists. Something he hadn't noticed before. He swiftly grabbed them. Merlin flinched and looked away in shame.
It was as he had thought. Those scabbed and scarred cuts on his wrists. They weren't from torture or anything. Merlin did that to himself.
"Why did you do this to yourself?" came the desperate cry of Arthur.
He couldn't look at him. He was too ashamed. "It was the only way I could release how I felt without hurting anyone."
"But you hurt yourself."
"It helps me."
"Please, don't do it anymore. Please, tell us what it is that you're so desperately hiding from us."
Hearing how desperate his king was, his friend was, made him want to tell him. But he couldn't. He couldn't tell them how he had magic. He couldn't tell them of how much he put himself in danger to protect Arthur. He couldn't tell them because he would be executed.
"I can't," he whispered, "I can't tell you because you will kill me if I did. I don't want to lose my only friends. I don't want to die."
Arthur bent down infront of his servant. "I promise that no matter what the secret is, I will not kill you for it."
A glimmer of hope came to Merlin, but it dissapeared when he realised that it couldn't be true.
"I swear on my life," he said.
"You shouldn't."
More tears.
"I already did. Now please, just tell us why they tried to kill you."
He might as well tell them, if they couldn't accept him, what was the point to being their friend? Taking a deep breath to calm his breathing, he spoke barely above a whisper.
"I am magic."
They were all dumbstruck.
"Aren't you supposed to have magic? Choose and learn it?", Leon asked.
"I'm a rare exception. I was born with it. Magic is in my blood, it makes up the very essence of me. I am magic. I- I am- I am Emrys."
Percival couldn't believe it. "You? You're Emrys? The greatest warlock to ever walk the earth? The one destined to protect the once and future king? The one destined to help unite the land of Albion and return magic to Camelot?"
Merlin nodded.
"But magic is evil. Why aren't you?", Arthur asked.
The anger and hurt visible in his friend cut deep.
"Magic is not evil. Magic is not good. It is the way a person wields it that matters. I use it to protect you, my King. Remember, evil only exists in the heart of men."
It was incredibly conflicting. Merlin was a sorcerer. He practices magic right under his nose. Merlin only uses magic for good. Magic isn't evil then.
"I'll lift the ban on magic. I'll still place restrictions, to prevent people from abusing it."
He looked up. Arthur would lift the ban on magic? He actually won't kill him? No, it had to be a lie. I trick set up to make him feel safe so that they could kill him-
"I swear," Arthur said, "I swear that I will stop the fear that follows your every move."
Now that they were over with that, he had to know the stories behind the scars.
"Oh right," he answered, pointing to each scar as he lists them off, "Mace, training with you, sidhe, bandit, bandit, bandit, myself, Morgana's fomorrah, serket, Nimueh, training with you, not sure about that one, kidnappers, kidnappers, bandit, Morgana, Morgause, myself, myself, myself, kidnappers, myself, immortal army, centaur, griffin, centaur, myself, myself, bandit, another mace, training with you, myself, falling over, getting hunted by villagers, falling from a tree, myself, myself, myself, myself, myself, bandits, kidnappers, myself, myself, and myself. I'm not sure about the rest"
Elyan spoke in a concerned voice, "You said "myself", does that mean you cut yourself?"
Merlin couldn't met his eyes. He nodded.
"You won't anymore right? We're here for you. If you ever need to talk, you can."
"I don't deserve friends as great as you."
"You do."
At once, everyone was in a group hug. After they pulled apart, Arthur asked something.
"Now Merlin, come on, how many times have you saved my life?"
"Too many to count." was his simple response.
Who would have known that a simple game could yield a result like this?