Annette:
I could've kept it quiet, the journal. It wasn't how I was raised, to take such pleasure in hurting others. I probably would've kept it quiet, if...ififif...
If you hadn't said, when you tried to leave me, that you loved someone else. And later of course you said you hadn't meant a word of it, it was just words you made up off the top of your head to hurt me enough to make me believe it was truly final. And I believed you when you said that—it sounded like something you, at least the "old you", would do.
If you hadn't written there, right under her name: "My Love." You had an explanation for that too when I asked. You'd thought you loved her back then, you said, because she was evil, and evil was all that you admired back then. That was before I came along and taught you how beautiful it was to be good. You didn't love her now, of course, in fact she completely disgusted you.
If it wasn't for your words in the hospital.
"Kathryn," you said. Slipping in and out of coma, your eyes unfocused.
"No Sebastian, it's Annette. Remember? Your girlfriend?"
"Kathryn." Your eyes locked on me but it seemed you still didn't really see me. "Tell Kathryn..." You had a split second of what looked like complete lucidity. Then you rolled your head to the side and stared at the wall. In less than a minute you were out of it again.
This went on several times. I don't remember how many. And then finally:
"I'm dying you bitch bring me Kathryn."
I dialed the Valmont mansion. You didn't see me do it, you were already gone again. Spoke to the maid, told her of the situation. It seemed to take much longer than it should have for your family to come. In the meantime, I wept right in front of you. I figured that it didn't matter, because you didn't see me anyway. Had you ever?
I didn't think you were really dying though. If I'd known I would've kissed you goodbye. Despite everything.