DANTE'S GRAND ADVENTURE
I don't own DMC or DMC2, I do act like Dante
My first humor/parody of DMC, be gentle!
It's dark. We see a small restaurant simply called "Joe's", and next to it, a shady little shop called "Devil May Cry"
All of a sudden...
SLAM! A blond-haired female smacks into the pavement, obviously having jumped from the roof of a nearby 5-story building.
A few seconds and many four-lettered obcienties later, Trish gets up, grabs a motor cycle and throws it at the Devil May Cry.
Meanwhile, inside the Devil May Cry, we see our hero. DANTE
(Trumpets squeal, children cry, a cat runs across the screen.)
(A black cat.)
(A REALLY SCARY BLACK CAT)
(A REALLY SCARY BLACK CAT THAT WILL-)
Dante: "Get on with it!"
(Okay...A Black cat.)
Dante sat there, with his boots propped up on the desk, reading a magazine
(A dirty magazine.)
Suddenly a motorbike crashes through the front of his shop. Dante ignores it completely, reading about Miss October.
*A full minute later*
Trish came running up to the front hole (seeing as how the door is gone)
"SO...." She said
Dante glances up. "Nature calls? Upstairs"
Dante goes back to his mag.
Trish picks up the motorbike and starts to swing at Dante.
Screen cuts to black as we hear a brutal SLAM!
A dirty-looking cook comes up and places an "Eat at Joe's" sign in the center of the screen, then walks off.
*Cut back to the office of Devil May Cry*
(Dante is laying sprawled out and very dizzy in a corner, the motorbike, with an imprint of his head in the gas tank, sits off to the side)
Trish: blah on about the underworld.
Dante: (still dazed) Shaddup! My favorite show is on!
(Trish looks for a TV)
Dante: Over there you twit!
(Trish looks "over there" and sees a 60,000 dollar plasma screen TV)
Trish: oooooOOOOOOoooooo......Emril Live?!?!
Dante: Yup!
(Trish reaches for the bike agian)
*SLAM! Eat at Joe's!*
Dante: Ouch!
Trish: Are you done?! We got some underworld ass to kick!
Dante: Okay, let's get to it. (Grabs Wooshy off the wall)
Dante (out of character): Who the hell's Wooshy?!
Author: Your sword you TWAT!
Dante: AH, I see. (Asshole.)
(Author reaches for Trish's motorcycle.)
*BASH!*
(Eat at Joe's)
Dante: Okay, note to self, kill "Joe."
Emril: (On TV) BAM!
(Dante and Trish carry on with their adventure)
(They reach a portal outside the DMC and jump through, landing on the other side.)
(Standing now at the gate to Mallet island castle.)
Trish: I need you to get something. (Reaches into her pants)
Dante: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN girl you don't gotta hit the gas that fast!
Trish: (Pulling a key out) O_o Open the door you twit!
Dante: Ah Dammit!
Trish: (finding that her bike is no longer around, reaches for a nearby rock)
*THUD!*
(...)
End chapter 1, R&R!