It wasn't supposed to end like this. He was going to rain down righteous fury on Kirkwall for Hawke's refusal to kill the abomination. He would have Fenris at his side, and they would avenge the Grand Cleric and everyone that the mage had killed or hurt with his actions.

Instead, they'd wound up ambushed by Darkspawn on the way before they'd made it through Ferelden and had been rescued by the very man he'd sworn to destroy. They'd been given a choice, let the Taint kill them slowly or take the Joining and become Wardens.

Doing so meant that they could continue on to Starkhaven perhaps in the future, but that they would have to let the plan for revenge go…for the moment. Fenris wavered until it was almost too late to survive the tainted blood coursing through his system, the lyrium embedded in his flesh making the process faster, and deadlier than his companion.

In the end it was easier to take the Joining, to survive, embittered, angry but still alive. Revenge would be theirs, eventually. Neither expected what developed between them, their enemy or the traitor as Nathaniel Howe was called by many in furtive whispers as he passed by.

Fenris didn't expect to like being a Warden, he didn't expect to feel the same camraderie he'd had while being in Hawke's merry band of misfits… but he found it amongst those in the Keep. He found it with the Dalish witch that reminded him of himself when he was being honest about his hatred towards others. He found it with the other archer, Howe who didn't let him get away with the insolence he favored over friendship with the man.

He never counted any there as friend except for the exiled prince. They both suffered in the months right after their Joining. They both wandered aimlessly, unsure what to do about the skittering noises they could hear no matter the time of day or night. When hunger worse than anything else they'd known drove them from their beds, their room …they always found each other.

Until the night Sebastian came across Anders during his nightly wanderings. He debated whether or not he could get away with pushing the mage off the parapet, or if he'd be missed by Nathaniel, Velanna, Oghren or any of the others in the Keep. He decided to wait, and was going to leave well enough alone, until he heard his name carried along the evening breeze.

"I know you're there Sebastian. Wardens can sense each others presence you know. Say what's on your mind… I can take it."

Sebastian came within a few feet of the man he hated, only a few feet between him and revenge for Elthina, Kirkwall, all he'd grown to care for in a few years. He folded his arms and stood there for a time, watching Anders profile in the waning light. When he was younger, he'd likely have chased after the mage…mostly to irritate his parents and scandalize the other nobles. Now he saw a man, older than him by aged by a hard life, and harder path ahead of him. Finally, he spoke … pain evident in his tone.

"I hate you, I hate that I am now part of this Order… and I kinna snap your neck as I wish to. I hate that Fenris suffers your presence and has once again had his choice taken from him. You hide behind the power of those you ran from once. You are nothing but a coward Anders, nothing but a fool, a murderer and a stain upon this land.

If not for the oath I had to take as I joined, I would have wiped you from Thedas the moment I awoke after the ritual. Do not think I will forgive you, do not think I will ever forget what you have cost me or Fenris or Hawke, or any of us that trusted you Anders. I will have my revenge, whether it comes on the morrow or next year or ten years. I will have your head for your crimes."

Sebastian went silent, and wondered what if anything the mage would have to say to him in response. He didn't have to wait long, a derisive laugh was his answer.

"You speak as if I am living a privileged life here… your highness. I am on a very short leash and I continue to draw breath only at the Commander's leisure. One misstep from me and you very well may have your vengeance. Do not assume I am a free man, enjoying all life has to offer here. I am paying my penance for what I did.

Every time we get news of another Annulment I weep for what I have done. Every time a mage Warden arrives, a scarred survivor of the war I started, I hate myself just a little more. There's nothing you can do or say that will be worse than what I am paying for my actions.

My life is not my own, my soul is corrupted and my heart is shattered. Take your revenge if you wish to do so, you'd only be doing me a favor Sebastian. I am watched to be sure I do not simply kill myself. There is always another Warden near me, whether they show themselves or not. Do as you will, but know you will have to deal with the consequences of taking the Commander's revenge from his hands. Now unless you are actually going to kill me, I have duty in the infirmary."

Anders tilted his head, amber eyes dark with anger, and remorse … and hope that Sebastian would make good on his threats sooner than later. When the prince merely moved aside, Anders took his leave, dejection and resignation in every step.

Sebastian took his spot, looking over the land as he let his mind roll their conversation about, considering what was said and more importantly, what lurked in what was unsaid. He remained out there long enough to bring Fenris looking for him. He acknowledged the elf, but let his gaze remain on the courtyard below them.

"What's wrong Fenris?"

The elven Warden glanced at him before he leaned against the wall. He knew something was bothering the prince but he wasn't sure what to do or say to him. They both hated it there, they both wanted to leave but until they knew more about being Wardens, knew more about the war the mage had kicked off … neither was ready to leave, assuming they could go on to Starkhaven as planned.

Fenris was spared having to start a conversation, the words drying in his throat as Sebastian's voice got his attention.

"I don't know what to do about him. I thought he'd gloat, be righteous in his anger and start a fight. Instead, I found a man broken by his ideals and failure. The great rebellion is not what he thought it would be. I wish nothing more than his throat under my hands, his pulse stilling to nothing but I fear that would give him the greater victory."

Fenris scoffed…and joined his partner at the wall's edge. "He is truly pathetic, but you are right. I too thought he would be exalted in seeing us fall to the Darkspawn but instead he looked… sad to see us here; to see us forced to join or die.

I don't know how to explain it, but taking his life would not satisfy me as I once thought it would. For now, we wait… see what happens and when the moment is right, we will have our vengeance. It just might be something different than planned. It is late, we both should be abed by now. I have patrol duty in the morning and you are due to meet with the Commander and Warden Howe."

"Go on, I need some time to think…alone. I'll be along in a bit. Goodnight Fenris." Sebastian turned back to watching the courtyard, his thoughts scattered and his mind ill at ease.

Fenris left him there, disliking the way their talk had ended but there would be more opportunities to continue their plans. After all, they had nothing but time on their hands and fire in their hearts. The mage would be theirs, later rather than sooner but his payment was coming due and they both planned to collect.