Muahahahaha, I turn Ed into female! Fear meh awesome fanfic powers that I can do that with a very very very very ervy ervy ervy…did I just write ervy?! Shoot, that's a typo, meant to write very….um….yeah

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA….or Ranma ½. But da female version of Ed, I DO own!! In this story anyway. FEAR MY OWNERNESS!!

Al looked at his brother's door, sighing. He had locked himself in there for three days now. All started on that Tuesday, when he came home in a rush all wet. Wonder what happened…Al wondered. He knocked on the door, "Brother, you okay?"

"Go away!" Ed said quickly.

Al blinked. Was it him, or was that a girl voice?! "Brother?"

"I'm busy, leave me alone!" Ed shouted.

Yup, that voice was definitely female. No doubt about it. Ed's doin' something naaaaughty. Al thought. "Brother…you getting laid in there? Cause if you are, hope your using protection." Al said casually.

"WHAT?!?!?!" Ed yelled, slamming open the door.

Al stared at Ed. "Who're you?" He asked. Hey, you would too, if your supposed brother was instead a very busty blond chick, though most guys would just drool and hit on her.

Now, let me draw you a mental pic of what Ed currently looks like. Ahem. Take Ed. Add bust. Make bust bigger. Take away sexy manly parts and substitute sexy female parts. Add a pinch of darker color in his…her eyes, making Ed's eyes a pretty amber color instead of gold. Turn blonde hair golden. Mix it all together and you get this chick standing in front of Al right now.

Ed sighed. "I'm your brother….sister." He…she said, hanging his…her head.

Al stared. "You're a girl…"

"Yes Al, I'm aware of that." Ed said, gloom clouds forming around his…gah, I mean her head.

"Prove it." Al said, folding his arms.

Ed paled. "What, that I'm a girl? Um…" He…when will I get it right?! She started pulling off his…HER pants.

"NOOOO!!" Al yelled, stopping him. "I meant that you're Ed!"

"Oh…" Ed said sheepishly. "Um…"

"You're a shrimp." Al said.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL, LICE CAN PLAY SOCCER WITH HIM, I MEAN HER!!!" Ed yelled, flailing her arms. Whoot! Got it right!

"Ed, what happened to you?!" Al said, sweatdropping.

"You think I know?!" Ed said, pouting. "I fell into this spring and turned into a girl."

"We gotta find someone to help you! Like, a doctor or something!" Al said, freaking out. Wouldn't you if your sibling changed genders? Hell, I sure would.

"Right Al. We'll just march up to Dr. Phil and say 'Hey, I suddenly turned into a girl, what should I do Doc?'" Ed said sarcastically.

"Well, we have to do something." Al said.

Ed sighed. "I'm not sure..." She blinked. "Holy crap, I forgot about my assessment!" She yelled.

Al freaked again. "What are we gonna do?!"

"What else? Go to Central and lie." Ed said, marching out the door, with Al following behind.

Minutes after…

"AGH!!" Ed yelled.

"What is it?" Al asked, looking at his brother…sister. You can never get used to that, at least not in the first few pages.

Ed covered his chest. "This is sooo weird!" She exclaimed.

"What?" Al asked, unfamiliar with female problems.

Ed blushed. "M-my nipples are poking out." She said shyly.

Al blinked. "Um…"

"I mean, why must they stick out in the cold? It's so weird, right?" She went on, sighing.

"I guess…" Al said.

"BOO!!" Ayumi yelled, sneaking up between them. Ha, as if I'm not going to be in one of my fanfics. Especially one like this. Please.

"KYAAAAH!!" Ed screamed, in a very high pitched girly scream.

Ayumi blinked. "Al, who's this?" She asked, staring at Ed.

"Um…that's just…m-my….um…" Al stuttered, trying to come up with a lie.

"I'm Al and Ed's cousin, Elda!" Ed announced, smiling widely.

"Oh, really…?" Ayumi said, circling around her, examining.

"Yes, I moved into them for a visit." 'Elda' said nervously.

"Liar." Ayumi proclaimed, pointing dramatically at Ed.

"What? No, it's true!" Ed insisted.

"Lies! Lies I say!" Ayumi said through a microphone she got randomly like in those manga I adore oh so much.

"No!! It's not, I swear!" Ed said.

Al sweatdropped. "This is soo strange…"

"Your not Elda like you presume, are you?!" Ayumi said. She leaned real close to Ed's face, hands on her hips. "You're Ed, right?"

Oh, crap! "N-no…" Ed muttered.

"So, you're Elda, eh?" Ayumi whispered.

"No. I mean, yes." Ed said quickly.

"Hmmmm…" Ayumi stared at Ed's face, then kissed her full on the mouth.

"AAAAGH!!" Al yelled, covering his eyes. "YUUURIIII!!!"

Ed turned red, pulling away. "Blech, that's disgusting!" She said, spitting.

"I KNEW IT! YOU ARE ED!!" Ayumi yelled, pointing at Ed again. "You can't deny a woman's heart!! Only Ed's that fine a kisser!"

"Shhh!!" Ed yelled, covering Ayumi's mouth. "Fine, I'm Ed." She whispered.

"Ohmigosh, Ed! You fell into Nanichaun? (I spelled that wrong…)" Ayumi said, looking shocked.

"Wah?" Ed asked.

"It means "Spring of Drowned Girl"." Ayumi explained. "A long long time ago, I was pissed off and cursed this valley of springs, so whatever drowns in it makes it so whoever falls in it will turn into what drowned there!"

Ed deadpanned. "That's nice of you…" She said weakly.

"Well, you must know how to change Ed back, right?!" Al asked, all excited. Flowers were whizzing around his head, and if this was a manga, which it's not cause it's a fanfic, the words "whee!" and "yay!" were hanging around his head.

"Nope." Ayumi said, causing Al to have a face plant.

IF you don't know what that is, you are very stupid or haven't seen much anime.. Let me explain. Face planting does not have to do with planting your face into the ground like some seed. It's an anime/manga action when the character suddenly hits the ground face first when something shocking is said. Very funny to see, not so much to feel though.

"Sorry, I was pissed. I don't know what I'm doing." Ayumi said, shrugging.

"All hope is lost…" Ed and Al said together, sitting on the ground with gloom clouds and those weird line thingies that always pop up. They were looking very poorly drawn indeed, with tears running down their face.

"Uhuh…well, I'm heading down for Central. Got the assessment thingy due." Ayumi said.

"We're going there to." Ed piped up.

"Awesome, well, grab on." Ayumi said, grabbing Ed and Al before making them disappear. They reappeared in front of Roy's office.

"How'd ya do that?!?!" Ed asked, completely shocked at Ayumi's awesome teleporting skills.

Ayumi brushed off her sleeve.

"Well, Ed. Being the author of a fanfic that your in, gives you many things indeed. Like the power to kill anyone I want, making them come back to life at the next chapter as if nothing happened, baffling the readers." Ayumi said, smiling.

Al stared at her.

"I believe Slinko did that in that Klondike bar story." She said, thinking about it. "GREAT JOB, SLINKO!!!" She shouted, though Slinko was unfortunately nowhere to be seen. Hopefully updating a fanfic.

"Well it's time to….go into Roy's office…" Ayumi said fearfully and slowly, staring at the door. "But not until I close the chapter in a very cliffhangery way, yay!!"

And with that, the chapter closed.

---

Ah, a female Ed. Now Ed's hotness can be shared for all peoples. But….GASP, will Ed be my very hot hunk of man-candy every again?! Only readers of Ranma ½ will know da truth! And you too, once you read the next chapter, gasp!