Edward and Bella lay in bed after some awkward emo sex. Bella leans in to kiss Edward on the cheek but he flinches and leans away from her act of physical admiration. "What s wrong Edward. wasn t that good for you. Edward would simply sigh in reply "Bella I have something to tell you.. Its very important"
"What Edward" Bella would say as she sat up in bed and look to Edward with a puzzled stare. "What could possibly be so important that it delay are ironically necrophilic sex were having" shifting her gaze around the room before looking back on Edward sitting up next to Bella.
"I m gay...With Lord Voldemort" said Edward as he leaned further back, bracing himself for Bella's wraith. Bella sat still for a moment staring bewildered at Edward, her jaw dropped also at this sudden shock, minutes ticked by before she finally answered.
Your...gay...with Voldemort.. she said slowly, her shocked expression slowly becoming rage. You mean...I went through all this..for nothing she said as her rage began to bubble I gave up everything for you...for to find your a fudge packer her rage surfaced at this point making her face go red and her manly features become even more manly than before. Raising her hand she back handed Edward across the face creating a mighty whiplash noise.
Edward recoiled as he grabbed his cheek Aaaaah! you bitch he cried as Bella rose from the bed and stomped around the room in her rage You mean I abandoned by father for nothing she screamed at Edward He died of a heart attack because I left him, His love for me kept him alive Bella screamed as she gripped a lamp, throwing it across the room before storming out to pack her bags.
Edward sighed as he looked around for a second before saying You can come out Voldy , a round bald head popped out from under the bed Geez what a bitch said Voldemort in a camp voice before climbing into bed with Edward. I know but I had to tell her soon or later Edward sighed before staring into Voldemort You know now she s gone its just you and me forever, now lets watch Glee said Voldemort raising up the GLEE DVD case Edward stared into his eyes still and said Oh vouldy hold me
...[SKIPS PAST GROSS SEX SCENE]
Meanwhile...
Bella had gotten into her car and started the ignition, driving her car in reverse down the cobbled drive way before hitting something, getting out she stomps across to the back of her car to discover she hit Jacob.
Noooo! Jacob. My only true love she cried as she looked to the dead wolves body I have nothing to live for now she said as she pulled out a revolver, placing it to her right temple Goodbye cruel world she cried as she pulled the trigger blowing her brains across the driveway.
Suddenly Jacob jumped from the bushes and yelled HAHA I got...OH MY GOD BELLA he cried seeing her brains splattered across the pavement I need to hide out in mehico said Jacob jumping up placing a sombrero on his said before running away into the sunset