Summary: "There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads; afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments will define us for the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push onto something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you're tested that you discover who you truly are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, faith and belief. And beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead." - Lucas Scott (One Tree Hill)
Disclaimer: I don't own TM but if SB would like to donate the leather couch to me at the end of the show, it would match my new leather jacket :P
P.S. I don't own OTH, Lucas Scott or Owl City either *goes to pout in the corner*
A/N: For those of you following "Butterflies", I haven't forgotten it though I'm moving slower than dirt on it I know. I'm almost done with the next chapter (and here I though I would have more time to write during the summer). Anyway, this is for Chibi's awesome summer quotes contest on deviantart. This thing is full of quotes. The summary is a quote from OTH (the always well-spoken Lucas Scott) , and the lyrics quotes are from Owl City's Take it All Away (hence the title).
Take it All Away
There was a shot in the dark, I was caught by surprise
There was a hole in my heart, there were tears in your eyes
And there was nothing to say 'cause you made up your mind
So I guess what you meant when you left was goodbye
So if you're gonna go and leave me in a lonely grave
I won't let it show until you've finally flown away
Jane smiled to himself as he carried two hot beverages in his hands and a bag of sugary treats in his teeth through the otherwise quiet bullpen. It was early on Friday morning but he knew Lisbon was already in, partly because she was usually the first one on the team in but mostly because her car was parked in the lot.
Jane hoped Lisbon would understand his apology. No surprise, the consultant had once again used unconventional methods to solve a case and as was typical, a good portion of the backlash fell on Lisbon. During their last case, Jane found the need to see the crime scene from a different vantage point, particularly, the tree house in the neighbor's yard. As it so happened, the neighbors were not home at the time the consultant required access and had left their german shepherd on watch in the yard. Jane had fed the dog just enough meatballs filled with sleeping pills to put the canine in a peaceful slumber. In Jane's defense, the shepherd was unharmed but the owners were livid. The icing on the cake was a call from PETA, questioning the CBI's treatment of animals.
Jane had received the cold shoulder for the rest of the previous day. He had experienced an angry Lisbon on many prior occasions but this was the first time she had left for the night without so much as a word. Jane expected something; A shouting match from the raven-haired agent if nothing else yet when the consultant woke from his snooze on the couch later in the evening, he found the bullpen and her office dark.
With gifts in hand, Jane was relieved to find Lisbon's door slightly ajar as he was able to use his foot to push it open the rest of the way. He never knocked. Knocking was overrated.
There was no one to see Jane's face turn slightly crestfallen as he walked into an empty office. No sign of the fiery agent. Jane pushed his disappointment aside and moved closer to Lisbon's desk. He deposited caffeinated cinnamon concoction near the keyboard and the bag with the bear claw near the screen. Lisbon couldn't possibly miss it.
His eyes wandered briefly over the desk until they fell upon the two framed photos that sat on the left-hand side. He should have known Lisbon would have taken his latest stunt more personally with her being a dog-lover figured he should probably leave the office before Lisbon found him snooping and loathed him even more. He was about to make his retreat when the document on the computer screen caught Jane's attention. He could only see the header on the document due to the pastry bag blocking the full view but it was enough.
Transfer Request: FBI
Jane wanted to flee, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor or maybe his eyes were attached to the words on the screen by some invisible thread. Whatever the reason, he was frozen to the spot but he could hear his own heartbeat drumming in his ears. Finally, the signals in Jane's brain trying to get his feet to move finally met their mark and he scurried out of the office.
He paced in front of the large window in the attic. Lisbon was leaving? Transferring? There was no way. She wouldn't leave her team behind would she? Was it really possible he had pushed her too far this time? No matter how much Jane wanted to deny it, the evidence was right there on her computer screen.
Jane thought about the events of the past year and realized it was very likely he was the reason for her decision. Between his six-month absence, Lorelei, inappropriate if uncontrollable actions during his fugue state, and now this latest stunt he really couldn't blame her. Everyone had a breaking point, evidently, even Saint Teresa.
He knew he had been nothing but selfish in the near decade or so he had known her. Red John gave him this strange form of tunnel vision. Vengeance was the only thing Jane could see yet he knew that in all that time, it was Lisbon who occupied his hazy peripherals, just out of sight. The words on that computer screen had shifted his focus. Red John was still there but now the image included her. It was like he couldn't have one without the other. The serial killer kept him tied to Lisbon, up until now anyway, and somehow he knew he wouldn't make it post Red John or even the next few months without her. Jane could only think of one thing to do.
He knocked on the door and listened. Barging into Lisbon's office was one thing but the director? Jane figured he'd already screwed up enough for one day and took the cautious route.
Bertram called out for Jane to enter.
"Jane." The director said with a hint of surprise in his voice.
"Sir."
"And what do I owe this pleasure?" Bertram asked, smirking. "You just missed Agent Lisbon."
Jane sighed and sat in the chair opposite the director's large desk. He had hoped to beat Lisbon here and bribe the man with something, anything. He even pondered the idea of hypnotizing Bertram into rejecting Lisbon's request but he was too late.
"So you've already spoken to her then?"
Bertram steepled his fingers and leaned back in his chair. "Yes Jane, I have and not that it's any of your concern but I happened to agree with her decision."
So this was it then. The director had approved. It was official.
"But what about the team?" Jane argued, knowing he had already lost.
"The team will be just fine, Agent Lisbon assures me."
Just fine. Nothing was fine.
"Does this have anything to do with me?" The consultant asked.
Bertram leaned forward, thinking. "I guess, in a way Jane. The proposition was first brought to my attention during your ah, absence. Then, when you returned, we put it on hold through the whole Lorelei ordeal. Now seemed like the opportune time to revisit the idea."
It was worse than Jane had feared. Lisbon had considered leaving the CBI while he was holed up in Vegas. She had tried to tell him when he had followed her into that church but he had run away, literally.
Jane stood, reaching inside his jacket pocket. He locked eyes with the director as he slid his identification badge across the desk.
"I resign. Call Lisbon and tell her she should reconsider."
Bertram yelled for Jane to wait but the consultant was out the door as soon as he had finished speaking.
The noise from the large fountain at the center of the park was soothing. Jane often found himself here, sitting on the bench nearest the water. The pouring water helped clear the man's head when he needed to think. After leaving the director's office, Jane didn't know where to go. He felt lost and untethered so he just started walking and ended up at the familiar bench. At least this spot was better than the abandoned apartment stoop he found in the alleyway the last time he had resigned.
His elbows were on his knees and he was staring at the ground when he spotted the coin resting near his foot. Jane reached down to pluck the penny out of the grass. He stared at the aged dull surface of the coin before flicking it with his thumb towards the fountain. Instead of the expected kerplunk as the penny hit the water, it bounced off the concrete edge and into the sand surrounding the fountain. Jane sighed. He didn't move a muscle when he sensed a presence beside him.
Lisbon perched herself on the bench, choosing to sit on the top of the backrest as she towered over the hunched blonde.
Neither of them spoke for several moments. When it was clear to Lisbon that Jane wasn't going to be the first to speak, she said the first thing that came to mind.
"I got an interesting phone call from Bertram not long ago."
Silence.
"You want to tell me what's going on?" She tried again.
Jane took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. "I'm sorry I drugged the dog yesterday." He paused, collecting his thoughts. "I… I guess I didn't realize how much it would upset you."
"This is about yesterday?" Lisbon was confused. "Sure, I was angry. I wasted an entire afternoon answering pointless phone complaints." She looked down at Jane who still hadn't looked her way.
"Look Jane, I should have talked with you before I went home yesterday but I was tired and didn't want to say things I would regret but we've been through far worse before."
"Apparently not." Jane whispered under his breath.
"What?"
"Never mind. Look, Lisbon I'll stay away for the time being. Heck, I lived on my own for six months, what's a little more time going to hurt? Just don't abandon the team. Contrary to what you may think, you are the glue that holds everyone together."
"What are you talking about Jane?"
He slowly turned to look at her for the first time, gauging her response.
"Are you really going to try and hide it from me now Lisbon? I saw what was on your computer screen, and I've talked with Bertram. Please, don't insult me further with lies."
Lisbon thought about what had been on her computer before she had met with the director. Then, she remembered that the subject of their meeting was on what she had been working on. At once, everything clicked into place.
"Alexa Shultz." She said.
"What?" Now, it was Jane's turn to be confused.
"She's an FBI agent who's requested transfer CBI but I told Bertram that our team was good as is. At first he disagreed. Apparently she's high up in the bureau but then I reminded the director that we still have a FBI leak somewhere and that a transfer to our team in particular was a dangerous move."
"Alexa Shultz?" Jane's mind was swarming with this new information.
"Yes."
She let things sink in for a few minutes before continuing. "You would give it all up? The team, Red John, vengeance, just so I wouldn't leave?" Lisbon asked curiously.
Jane shrugged. "For a while anyway. I couldn't think of a better idea at the time."
"You mean until the closed case numbers dropped and we realized we couldn't survive without you?" Lisbon mocked.
He let out a half-chuckle.
"I think you're forgetting we closed cases for a half a year on our own buster."
"Meh, I checked. Those numbers took a serious hit during that specific period of time."
She elbowed him lightly in the side.
"What? Just because I didn't return any of your three hundred and twenty six, no seven, calls doesn't mean I wasn't keeping tabs on all of you."
"Very funny." Lisbon dug through her pocket for something. "Here," she said, handing over the identification badge.
Jane took the item he had left on Bertram's desk earlier in the day.
"I have something else too." She said, fishing through her pocket again.
"Wow, maybe I should threaten to resign every day."
Lisbon glared at him as she pulled out the item she was looking for.
Jane watched curiously as Lisbon pulled out a small cylindrical metal object dangling from a thin black rope. He was even more surprised when, in one swift motion, she had the object dangling from his neck. He fingered the metal, trying to fathom what it could be.
"It's a whistle. It emits a high pitched shrill that dog's can't stand."
Jane smiled in understanding.
"Thank you." He said, touched by her thoughtfulness.
"I would tell you to never do anything like that again but we both know it's useless."
Jane's face took on a serious tone again. "You know, I don't purposely try and make your life miserable Lisbon. I hope you know that."
"I know that Jane." She lightly touched Jane's arm with two of her fingers to emphasize the statement. "I've come to expect your regular bouts of recklessness. I may not like them but I do realize that they usually aid the case in the long run."
Jane nodded but added nothing.
"It's going to take more than one disagreement to scare me away. We've been at this for more than a decade now. I'm not going anywhere."
Lisbon stiffened reflexively when Jane suddenly stood and wrapped his arms around her in a quick embrace. Before she could even register what was happening, the hug was over and Jane was offering his hand.
"Whaddaya say Lisbon, ice cream sundaes over on Maple?"
She smiled, taking the offered hand.
"As long as you don't eat all the hot fudge this time."
"I ate exactly half the last time thank you very much."
"No, I barely got two spoonfuls."
"Geeze, women and their chocolate."
You were the one, and it was enough...
The End